Fish: Sheesh! It took you long enough!
Nez: Creative fluids... thick! -convulses in fake manner-
Fish: Don't get -that- descriptive. -shudders- Stop it.
Nez: -snaps out of it instantly- We do not own Inuyasha. We own the rights to nothing, except Fish-chan's real life boy-toy. She's got that one covered.
Authors' Note: When the bold, italicized words say Nehszriah Mode, this means that the Nehszriah is writing. When they say Fish-chan Mode (Minor Nehszriah Editing), then it is Fish-chan's turn to write, with minor grammar and spelling corrections by the Nehszriah. When it says Nehszriah and Fish-chan Mode, then it means that Fish stood over the Nehszriah's shoulder until the section was completed. Enjoy!
Nehszriah and Fish-chan Mode
It was dark and quiet back in Carl's room where he had fallen asleep watching anime with his girlfriend and their mutual friend. The person who was once Nehszriah began to stir. Sitting up, bleary eyes from sleep examined the room. A television set, electric lighting, an aquarium, humans passed out and fast asleep next to where the inquisitive person sat; everything was quite the foreign experience.
"Where am I?" it whispered. Two hands reached up to rub away the sleep.
Two hands? It thought. The left hand felt for ears... rounded... hair... shorter... fluffy tail...? Definitely no fluffy tail. Nez-Sessho wondered for a moment before blurting out in complete surprise...
"What in the Hells is going on here?"
"Huh? Who's there?" a female voice called out. Nez-Sessho jumped when it heard the familiar sweet tone. One of the humans that had been sleeping sat up straight and looked right at Sessho-maru in his new body. "Who are you?"
"You stupid human wench," Nez-Sessho sneered. The girl looked down next to her to see Carl sleeping besides her and gave out a shriek of terror.
"EEEEIK! ATTACK OF THE BLOB!" she cried out. Carl bolted up to consciousness and looked quickly around the room. Actually, it was Inuyasha who bolted up and looked around the room, finding that there were two females there with him that he did not recognize and attempted to hide behind a wolf-patterned blanket that was nearby.
"What is going on here?" Nez-Sessho inquired. Fish-Kagome looked over at the brown-haired female next to her and discovered that it was the source of the dog demon's voice. Her face grew pale as she realized that she too was in a different body than before and that her Inuyasha was indeed now… pleasantly plump. It was either this was a bad dream or Naraku was playing another one of his filthy tricks. Fish-Kagome definitely decided it was the latter.
"Sessho-maru? Inuyasha?" she quietly asked. Inuyasha peeked warily out from behind the blanket and glanced over at the nearby girl.
"Inuyasha!" Fish-Kagome squealed, attacking the plump human boy with a large hug. Carl-Inu blushed slightly as the girl with Kagome's voice clutched him tight.
"This Sessho-maru believes that he is going to retch now," Nez-Sessho muttered. It stood up and looked around more throughly to see if there was a way out of the ick-fest its brother and the wench were creating. Sure enough, it could see a staircase on the other side of the room and began walking towards it.
"Hey!" a young female voice called out, startling the youkai. A brown-haired girl popped her head out from the staircase. Though she was no older than thirteen, she possessed one of the biggest additudes ever seen.
"What do you want?" Nez-Sessho asked grumpily.
"Your brother's here for you, you freak."
"What did you call me you impudent wench?"
"Calm down!" Fish-Kagome squealed. She rushed over to Nez-Sessho and stopped him from picking up a ninja kunai that was randomly lying on the ground and held his hand. "She knows nothing."
"Freaks," the girl muttered as she went back down the stairs. Nez-Sessho jerked his hand away from Fish-Kagome and was about ready to smack her when a new presence made itself known in the staircase.
"Kagome!" he screamed.
"Koga!" Carl-Inu growled, jumping up to his Kagome's aide. When Koga arrived in the room however, he had transferred bodies as well. His new self was a teenaged boy; tall and gangly with grey-brown hair and a pair of eyeglasses that constantly fell crooked. He was dressed in blue jeans, a grey t-shirt and a dark blue cotton jacket with a white stripe running down the arms.
"What?" Fish-Kagome puzzled. "You're not Koga."
"Yeah you stupid wolf, you kind of look like my brother!" Carl-Inu laughed, pointing out the strangely striking resemblance between Nez-Sessho and the newcomer.
"Somehow, I don't think you two are brothers anymore," Fish-Kagome said warily. "He looks kind of like a girl..."
"So, what's new with that?"
"No, I think that he might actually be a girl," Fish-Kagome said bluntly. Nez-Sessho looked shocked.
"Now why would this Sessho-maru be a stupid wench?" it sneered. "There is no way. I will swear it on my pure demon mother's grave."
"I don't know, that seems like a set of breasts to me," Koga observed, coming extremely close to Nez-Sessho's chest, though being careful not to touch. "It is awfully flat though."
"You pervert! What are you doing looking at your sister!" screamed the voice from the staircase that signaled the young girl was back again.
"My sister?" Koga asked.
"Yeah! You are Zanbato. She is Nehszriah. You are her little brother. She is your older sister. You live in the same house and have the same parents."
"Dur! Stupid!" The girl walked back down the stairs, wondering why she even bothered communicating with them.
"This sure is awkward," Fish-Kagome pointed out. Nez-Sessho let out an annoyed sigh and rolled its eyes.
"Where's Jaken when this Sessho-maru needs him most?"
"What, that little thing that you kick around?" Inuyasha griped. "You are probably more worried about why you don't have that long, girly hair of yours." Inuyasha stuck out his tongue, more pleased than irritated. Sessho-maru was now in a female's body while he was stuck in a male's. Human or not, he could still beat up Sessho-maru now.
(Back to the Feudal Era!)
"So then we are looking for herbs Sango-san?" Sessho-Nez asked politely as the troupe wandered through the forest. They happened to come across a lovely patch of grass that was lined with all sorts of medicinal herbs that the demon slayer was hoping Kaede could use to turn her friends and Sessho-maru back to normal.
"Yes," Sango replied, not wanting to address the demon by name. "Can you find some thyme sprigs for me?"
"What's a thyme sprig? I know it's used in cooking..."
Dear Lord, its worse than I thought, both Sango and Jaken moaned at once.
"This is it Nehszriah-sama!" Rin exclaimed happily as she bounded up with some thyme.
"Rin-chan! What's this?" Koga-Zan asked, coming up to the small girl-child next to Sessho-Nez.
"That's rosemary! Sango-san, do we need rosemary?"
"I can't remember. Let's take it, just in case," Sango replied sweetly. She patted Rin on the head as she as Koga-Zan gaily rushed over to where he had found the rosemary to pick some more.
They are so different now, she thought. Koga used to be constantly fighting with Inuyasha over Kagome and Sessho-maru is no longer in his firmly grounded sibling rivalry with Inuyasha. It is only Inuyasha who seemingly has not changed much.
"Sango! I want to go back and see Fish!" Inu-Carl pouted. He was leaning against the trunk of a tree, flustered beyond reason.
"Just shut up," Sango threatened, fingering her hiraikotsu for good measure. Inu-Carl grumbled some obscene comment and suck down to the ground.
Hopefully everyone else is handling Kagome well.
(-Nez grins- Scene Change!)
At Kaede's hut, there was some difficulty as to figuring out why Kagome was acting the way she was. Miroku tried using a highly potent sutra from the Chinese mainland. No good. Kaede took a shot with some bitter-tasting herbs that she had on-hand. Nope. Shippo cuddled up into Kagome-Fish's lap. Still no use. The whole situation was a mystery.
"So you claim that you are not Kagome Higurashi of Tokyo?" Kaede asked, having given up on trying to exorcize the blank-faced girl.
"I am definitely not!" she grinned. "I am Fish-chan. I live in suburban Detroit."
"Yeah, it's really fun there! We have T.V. and cell phones and mp3 players and there's a Mongolian barbecue just recently opened!"
"I only got the 'Mongol' part, how about you?" Miroku muttered to Shippo.
"What's a Mongol?" the young kitsune asked.
"Mongols are a type of people from the mainland," Miroku stated. "They are a warrior people who at one point ruled the entire country of China."
"Wow. So then, now that they don't rule anymore, people eat them?" Shippo wondered.
"No, I don't think so..."
"Why would we eat people?" Kagome-Fish asked, laughing lightly at the monk and kitsune. "That's silly. We just have their kind of food at some restaurants."
"Kagome, you frighten me," Shippo said, clutching onto the staff Miroku held. Normally the small demon would be depending on Kagome for protection from Miroku, but he was only a child after all and this new Kagome made him nervous.
"Now there is no need to be frightened Shippo," Kaede said sagely, stirring something in the large vat-like pot which sat in the center of her hut. "We will have Kagome feeling better in no time."
"…but I feel fine!" Kagome-Fish insisted. She stood up briskly and stormed out of the hut in an irritated fashion, leaving the others to contemplate how well she really was.
(To the future ahoy!)
Carl-Inu, Fish-Kagome, Nez-Sessho and Zan-Koga all sat in the grass, musing over what was going on. Fish-Kagome and Carl-Inu were at least used to seeing all of the technology that the future possessed, but Nez-Sessho and Zan-Koga were nearly hit by the "foul-smelling moving suits of battle armor" while on their way to the park they were currently occupying. Fish-Kagome tried to explain the necessity of motor cars to the two, but it only had caused more frustration when Zan-Koga began to become her yes-man and Carl-Inu started a fight over it. She never discovered how the Nez-Sessho took the wonders of her time, though she imagined her thought it to be disgusting.
"Now," Carl-Inu said, wisely stroking his chin, "what are we going to do to get back to our own bodies?"
"Is there a well anywhere around here?" Zan-Koga asked. "The well works for Kagome in Japan."
"Well, this is not Japan," Fish-Kagome sighed. "This is America. We're totally screwed."
"What's 'America'?" Carl-Inu asked.
"It's a very large country across the ocean from the Japan we know," she answered halfheartedly. "They have no such things as a shrine to a demonic well, nor do they have any real spiritual relics at all. Maybe some from Christianity, but I don't know for sure. I think I was Shikon shard hunting when that lecture took place."
"…but how do you know we are in this place?" Nez-Sessho calmly questioned.
"I saw a road sign that said the big road nearby goes to Detroit. That is a large city in America."
"Then we are on the outskirts of that city?"
"No Koga. I think we are in the suburbs, which is not quite the city, but almost. It's like a continual town or large village."
"Kagome, we have to get out of here," Carl-Inu whined, rolling on the grass. "I need the Tetsuiga! I need to be a demon!"
"I am the one who needs to be a demon again. I never had any relations to pathetic human wenches," Nez-Sessho grumbled. It then stood up and pointed at Fish-Kagome. "You can read the markings on the signs, right?"
"Well, I guess, since we are able to communicate with people here and I could tell what the road signs say," she said, standing up as well. Fish-Kagome looked around and examined their surroundings. They were sitting by the playground of an elementary school. There was a large interstate freeway nearby that went to Detroit and some place called "Port Huron". Also, Kagome had discovered that she had money in her jeans pocket, so they would be able to at least buy some food if they were hungry. Well, they could have always gone back to the house they woke up in, but in doing that, they risked running into the attitude-gifted teenager again.
"Then let us traverse," Nez-Sessho said, walking away from the other three.
" 'Let us traverse'?" Carl-Inu scoffed. "What's with the weird words?"
"Just let's go," Fish-Kagome sighed, following Nez-Sessho and quickly taking the lead. Zan-Koga and Carl-Inu both got up and glared at one another before moving forward.
The foursome walked over to the corner of the street that connected with the interstate. Kagome decided that they would cross the overpass and continue walking down the street that was labeled "Ten Mile" until they came to a mode of transportation they could use, like a bus or a train. They would have gotten pretty far if it were not for the shop that had caught Carl-Inu's eyes so suddenly.
"Hey Kagome! That place has familiar writing on it! What does it say!"
Kagome looked at the sign and gasped. It was an anime store and Carl-Inu was running at it full speed, Zan-Koga following close behind.
"Oh no!" Kagome whined. "Anything but this!"
More Authors' Notes That The Reader Can Probably Skip
The "It": Yes, reference to gender swapping, again.
Zanbato: This is the Nehszriah's younger brother. Yes, his hair is a grey-brown. That's the only way to describe it other than "Dutch blond".
The Herbs O' Doom: Just one reason to poke fun at us suburban kids being ignorant.
Mongolian Barbecue: I'm just hungry, that's all.
Detroit: Yup, that's where the future scene is taking place! It's where the crazy otakus of this fan fiction live… or lived originally. Carl-kun's in Ohio now. –Fish cries-
The Anime Store: Yes, it exists. –grins from authors-
Next Update?: When we feel like it and cooperate enough to collaborate.