21Okay, I couldn't resist putting the Peanuts thing at the end, but it was really appropriate.
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or Peanuts.
"A part of me can't believe she did it, while another part of me was expecting this all along. And as much as I hate saying it, we were partly, if not wholly, to blame for her destruction.
"She was almost like a personal therapist for the Titans. 'When in doubt, ask Raven,' seemed like a motto for us. We confided practically everything to her, knowing that her wise adages and blunt but truthful remarks would solve our problems. We trusted that she would keep our secrets, and she did.
"We dumped the world on Raven, free of our troubles. The world was too much for her.
"Never once did we actually think about what she was going through. We said we knew how she felt, we understood everything, and she shouldn't worry, but our bad experiences were mere droplets in the ocean of misery she had been cast into. We had no right to say what we had told her. 'We understand, Raven.' 'We've been through things like this, too.' 'Let it all out.' 'It's okay to feel, Raven.' But we didn't know. For her, emotions were a taboo. It wasn't okay for her to feel, and the things we said, every time we showed our emotions, were like mockery to her.
"She never told us about her father or the prophecy. I guess we were partly to blame for that, too. Perhaps, after hearing of our troubles, she must've thought it not her place to burden us with more worries. Raven…as unbelievable as it may seem to you, she was one of the most modest and humble people I have ever met. And considerate, even if she had odd ways of showing it.
"And as much as we confided in Raven, I have only started to notice that she barely told us anything. Sad how only death can make you realize things like this, isn't it? She knew everything about us.
"But what did we know about her?
"We knew she was dark…creepy, no, but dark, yes. She loved to read and had a thirst for knowledge. She was powerful, dangerously so, but was very willing to sacrifice. She wasn't extremely social, and it was hard to get any emotion out of her. She liked being alone.
"But did she? Did she really?
"Sometimes, I could see loneliness and yearning in her eyes. I never understood it, but I know now. Restricted by her father and her destiny, she was cursed with emotions that were dangerous to show, something no one should suffer. I think that all the people I know would've crumbled long before Raven did if they were in her place.
"Raven was the bravest person I have ever known.
"I have also come to realize that, more often than not, we took her for granted. Raven had always been there, a rational, down-to-earth member of our team, calm in the face of evil…she was like a strong, sturdy pillar that had been holding all of us up. Rarely noticed, but the actual one holding all the weight of the universe, stubbornly, heroically, but so foolishly refusing to burden anyone else with it. And once she, the center of it all, gave away, the rest of us came toppling down.
"The Teen Titans will go on. No matter how much we may want to shirk from our duties at this difficult time, it is still our responsibility and there is no turning back now. But we will never be whole again.
"Despite all the heart-to-heart talks we had with her, we always seemed to be the only ones sharing a part of ourselves with Raven. We asked her for advice, but how many times has she ever truly opened herself up to us? I'll admit it:
"We knew nothing about her hopes, dreams, and fears until it was too late.
"Sometimes my feet will still automatically carry me to the living room when I have something on my mind. I am sure Raven is there, perhaps sitting on the couch reading a book, or sipping a cup of tea. I'll open my mouth to catch her attention, until I realize that she's gone, and the one thing I wanted reassurance on was the fact that she was no longer there.
"Raven…she fought so many battles with us. And yet…she was in the sidelines many times, always the healer. I guess, deep down, she was a healer at heart, fixing both our mental and physical injuries. The only patient she hadn't been able to cure was herself. She needed help, help that she desperately needed from us. But we were wrapped up in our own worries, selfishly ignoring the needs of the teammate who seemed to be as strong and sturdy as before but was slowly sinking in a deep, dark pit she had no idea how to get out of. And what did she receive for all her past troubles? A couple of 'You okay, Raven?' and 'C'mon, cheer up's was all she ever got.
"The Trigon incident was over. Days went by, then weeks, then months. We were sure that Raven was okay, and we even believed her unconvincing replies of 'I'm all right, really,' and 'There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine.' We should've seen through it, that fake half-smile, that phony look of serenity. But we were foolish, and we were gullible, and we only had half our mind on her. Everything was pushed to the back of our minds when a new adversary, the Brotherhood of Evil, moved in.
"But deep down, I knew it wasn't over. It was merely biding its time, waiting for the next chance to strike.
"Time passed. Our lives settled down. Difficulties with the Brotherhood sent us running back to Raven, and once again she was staggering underneath an avalanche of emotional problems. We should've noticed the little warning signs, so much like those tiny omens before a disaster.
"Raven was so complicated. We thought that we could never understand her, so we never tried. If only we were there for her like she was there for us. If only we had paid more attention to her. If only…
"But now it's too late, and all that's left are memories and a fistful of regrets.
"Raven was our therapist, our treasure-trove of never-ending solutions to our problems. We dumped the world on her. The world was too much. She had been there for us the whole time, yet in her dire moment of need, we were not by her side. Screaming in silence, emotions in turmoil behind her indifferent mask…it should've been obvious.
"Now who will we run to when we are hurt? Whose shoulder will be there for us to lean on now? When we need someone to confide in, who will be there for us?
"Raven knew everything about us…
"…but what did we know about her…?"
With a sigh, the speaker stepped down from the podium, joining the rest of his team that were huddling beside a black casket. There were no designs on it, save for a large raven, wings spread out, engraved on its lid. As the casket was lowered into the ground, millions of unanswered questions seemed to buzz through the air.
"Are you upset, little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry, I'm here. I'm here to give you reassurance everything is all right. The flood waters will recede…the famine will end…the sun will shine tomorrow…and I will always be here to take care of you. Be reassured."But who reassures the reassurer?" –Charlie Brown, Peanuts
I've always loved Charlie Brown…seriously, how could you not? Well, I hope you liked it…please review!
Oh, do you think I should post a prequel to this? I kind of really want to…tell me what you think!