A/N: This is happens in season five, but it is my version of season five. It´s after

the episode " Nobody´s fault but mine" when Hyde cheats on Jackie.

- What the…? And just what do you think you´re doing calling me?

-I... I need to talk to you.

- You need to talk to me? Oh, that´s a good one. She snorted.- And I should care


- I´m sorry he said, his voice low.

- Yeah, I´ve heard that before Hyde and you know what? It´s getting old. Got something new to tell me?

He missed her. God, he missed her.

The way her eyes would shine when she laughed. The joy in her voice when she told him about something fun that happened at school.

The look on her face when he kissed her. The sweet smile that told him that she loved him. The way her body had feelt against his.

He even missed the way she used to nag at him.

God, he was turning crazy.

The three weeks they had been apart feelt like three years.

He wanted her back. He needed her back.

- Jackie, please. Can I come over?

- Why? So you can hurt me? Again? I don´t think so.

He cringed when he heard the hurt in her voice. The anger. God, what had he done?

He had been as bad as Kelso. Hadn´t he promised himself, promised her, that he would treat her better than Kelso had? That he´d never cheat on her?

Jackass. He was a first class jackass.

- I don´t what to hurt you Jacks. I never...

He heard her laugh bitterly.

- You don´t want to hurt me? I never would have guessed. Considering how often you do you it I thought it was your new hobby.

- Jackie, please. Just for a few minutes.

- I don´t think so. Bye Hyde.

- No, Jackie don´t... hang up...

To late. She´d hanged up and he stood with a silent recevier in his hand.

He was not giving up that easily. She didn´t want to talk to him on the phone?

Well, then he just had to go over to her house.

He had to talk to her. Had to make her forgive him.

For without her... His life wasn´t worth jack shit if she wasn´t in it.

She stood in the kitchen, tears streaming down her face.

Why did he have to call her? Wasn´t her life bad enough as it was?

Steven Hyde. The zen master. The jackass. The hurtful son of a bitch.

The only one she ever truly hated. The only one... The only one she ever loved.

Why did her life have to be this complicated? This hard?

She sat down at the kitchen table, her head in her hands.

He had made her cry. Again. She tought that she had shed enough tears on him.

- Damn you Steven Hyde. Damn you for coming in to my life.

The house was dark when he got there. Not a single lamp was on, not even any christmas decoration. It looked deserted.

Hadn´t she said that her mother had come back? That they would spend Christmas day togheter?

He went to the front door and rang the bell.

He heard footsteps coming and waited for the door to open.

- Who is it?

Jackie? Didn´t they have a maid opening the doors?

- It´s me. Please open the door.

- Hyde? I said that I don´t want to talk to you. Go away.

- Afraid I can´t do that Jackie.

- Why not? It´s not like you haven´t done it before.

He closed his eyes at the hurt he heard in her voice. Jackie. Oh Jackie, I´m so sorry.

- I am going to stand here and ring the doorbell until you let me in.

- Fine.

She opened the door and stared at him.

- Get in. Stay to long and I call the cops.

They sat at the kitchen table, neither of them knowing what to say, or how to say it.

Steven broke the silence at last, making her jump at the sound of his voice.

- Where´s your mom?

She thought about lying, saying her mom was out shopping and that she would be home in a minute. For all she knew, her mother was shopping. Somewhere.

- Don´t lie to me.

He knew her to well.

- She´s... out. Somewhere.

He would know what that meant. He always knew. She had never been able to lie to him.

Damn him.

- I´m...

- I hope you wasn´t going to say that you´re sorry. I´m sick of hearing you say that

Ste.. Hyde.

He looked at her and she could see the regret in his eyes. Damn him. She knew he was sorry. She´d always known that. It didn´t help her. It didn´t make her heart whole again.

- I know.

She had almost called him Steven. His heart ached at the familiarity. He missed it.

He missed a lot things this days.

- I don´t know what else to say. But I know that I have to say something because I want...

No, I need you to forgive me.

- Why? So you can do it again? Like Michael did?

It hurt to be compared to Kelso. He knew he deserved it, but the thought of beeing put in the same category as that lying, childish little jerk made his skin crawl.

- I´m not like Kelso.

- You are not? What´s the difference? You only cheated on me once?

She was beautiful. God, she was beautiful, even when she had her lips pressed togheter and her eyes where cold as ice.

- I regret it. Kelso never did.

- And just what do you regret hmm? That you cheated on me or that I found out about it?

- You didn´t just find out. I told you. If I didn´t think that I had done something wrong, if I hadn´t hated my guts for doing something so idiotic, do you really think that I would have told you? You deserved to know. Even if it broke your heart.

She stared at him for a long time and he was unsure of the feelings he saw in her eyes.

Finally she looked down at the table and sighed. She looked so tired, like she hadn´t slept for days.

- I want to hate you.

- I know he whispered, aching to touch her.

- And at the same time...

TBC... Review please!