Okay, hey. This is Unsworn, with help from a friend. Who will remain anonymous until she can remember her penname. Yeah. Unwilling will kill me, as soon as she sees this, so, here you go. And it's not even worth my probably death...
Warning: Slash, femmeslash, strange pairings, and James
Disclaimer: No one's but the author's.
Kyle pretends to be with Dana but is secretly with Dave because James is an unsupportive lout. Dave pretends to be going out with Amy but is going out with Kyle. Amy and Dana are going out, but don't want anyone else to know that they are gay. Noboby tells james that they're gay because of his juvenile reaction when Kyle told him. James is pleased that Kyle has got a girlfriend, and thinks it was the cannabis that made Kyle think he was gay.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?"
"What, don't you think it'll be fun?"
"Oh, OK. Take it out of the wrapping, then."
"All right, putting it on...It won't fit!"
"Oh, damn, it's too small!"
"You've got it on the wrong way!"
"Oh, right. Yeah."
James' ear, pressed to the wall of Kyle's room, flushed as red as the rest of his face. Had that been what he thought it was? Kyle? And a girl? Dana, no less, from the Australian drawl.
"Where'd you get it, again? It's not that easy to find stuff like that around here, seeing as the little red-shirts get into everything."
"Yeah, well, you can find a lot of things in Mr. Large's room."
"Seriously, you actually went in there?"
"Well, he was a little...occupied...at the time."
"Well, let's do it."
Moans began to sound. James turned tail and ran back to his room. He bolted the door with his brand new lock (designed by him so no one could pick it) and turned on the loudest music he could find. Once he was certain that a) no-one was going to get in, and b) he wasn't going to hear anything for the next three days, he settled onto his bed to think.
Meanwhile, Dana and Kyle, hearing the loud rock music blaring from across the hall, breathed twin sighs of relief. Kyle reached over and pressed the off button on the tape deck. The moans, groans, and other loud noises ceased immediately.
"Well, that's James gone, for a good while." Dana said, and smiled brightly at her partner in crime.
"Right, Dave is expecting me in about six minutes, so I'm gone. Feel free to stick around here for as long as you want to."
"Oh, don't worry, I might go see Amy, since she'll only be here for a couple of days."
The next day at breakfast...
"Ummm, Kyle?" James was determined to sort this out.
"I thought you told me you were gay!"
"I heard you and Dana last night!" Dave turned around, and looked at Kyle. Kyle blinked.
"Dana? Oh...shit. You weren't supposed to hear that!"
Dave smiled, and turned back to his food.
"Cannabis does strange things to your mind James."
"But Kerry said..."
"Well, do you believe everything Kerry says?"
"Uhh, Nicole backed her up!"
"Nicole got kicked out."
"Oh. Right. Yeah."
Kyle grinned at him, and sat down at a table. Dave sat beside him, and waved Dana and Amy over. "Just shut up and eat something."
James did so.
To be continued...