One Saturday Morning…

"Calvin!" a teenage girl cried. "It's time for breakfast!"

"Come here! I don't feel good!" the six year old answered in a sickly voice to his babysitter. "Please Rosalyn!"

"Fine!" Rosalyn replied.

"Psst! She's coming." Calvin told his tiger, Hobbes. Calvin sounded a lot less sick right then.

"I'll trade you!" Hobbes whispered. "My baseball bat for your golf club."

After a little bit of assault…

"Spaceman Spiffs defense against the Zog Princess is going well.

"His ally fights nearly as courageous as him.

"Oh no! The Zog Princess starts a mad rampage.

"She runs past the ally, making Spiff realize that she is only after him! Could this be the end of our hero?"

"Come back here you little brat!" Rosalyn screamed in pursuit of an escaping Calvin.

After a long chase throughout the house…

"Man, this seems bad to most people. But I ain't most people. The dame may have me where she wants me. But I don't plan to crack. She needs to learn that no one messes with Tracer Bullet. She will learn"

"Calvin," Rosalyn asked as she sat him down in the kitchen. "Why'd you attack me with your dad's golf club?"

"I chuckle to himself. My fellow investigator escaped her. That's all that mattered. Suavely, I lay the ground works."

"You can torture me all you want, but tell your superiors at the mafia or yakuza or whoever, that not even burning oil will get information from me!"

"We'll see about that!" Rosalyn said in an attempt to play along. "Minions! Get the oil!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Calvin screamed in fear.

"I see that parental humor doesn't work on you!" Rosalyn said amongst the screaming.

After about fifteen minutes…

"So it turned out she was kidding and I was heavily punished for assaulting her!" Calvin told Hobbes as he crawled under his bed.

"So, why are you here?" Hobbes asked.

"To take down my Calvin dummy to the garage!" Calvin said as he crawled out, now dragging a life-like Calvin dummy. "With any luck, Rosalyn won't notice it's not me.

"I don't think she's that…" Hobbes started before realizing something he had to ask. "Where on Earth did you get an identical Calvin dummy?"

After dragging a strange dummy past a so-called evil babysitter...

"Now what?" Hobbes asked as they exited the garage.

"I have a plan!" Calvin said as he pulled a red hood and cape out of his pants pocket. "Rosalyn has proved that she is a match for both Tracer Bullet and Spaceman Spiff. But can she match wits against the legendary protector of the innocents, Stupendous man!"

"If you don't return, I'll assume she killed you out of anger." Hobbes said as he went to hide in Calvin's room.


"Stupendous man sneaks across the house at stupendous speed.

"While sneaking, he found the evil Babysitter Girl, his most deadly enemy."

"Bye, Charlie." Rosalyn told her boyfriend over the phone. "I think I just heard something."

Rosalyn walked to the corridor only for Calvin to spurt right past her.

"The evil Babysitter Girl is no match for the mighty Stupendous Man!" Calvin deemed as he entered the door into the garage.

"The superhero outfit again?" Rosalyn said.

Five seconds later, Calvin ran back into the room, now holding his Calvin dummy.

"Calvin is saved!" Calvin yelled. "S for… Stupendous, T for… Tiger, the ferocity of, U for… Underwear, red, P for…Power Incredible , E for… Excellent physique, N for… something I still haven't decided on , D for… uh… man this "

"D for Dead if you don't get back into the garage!" Rosalyn screamed.

"Hey, that works!" Calvin said as he hid in the garage.

Calvin's bedtime…

"And when she let me out," Calvin told Hobbes. "I got in even worse trouble."

"What'd you do?" Hobbes asked.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Calvin said.

"Did it have anything to do with all those sirens I heard a few hours ago?" Hobbes asked

"I said I don't want to talk about it!" Calvin snapped. "Man, alchol makes a mess when it explodes!"


Calvin paused. "I think it's time for operation Triple X!"

Hobbes froze. "But…"

"No buts. Tomorrow Rosalyn will pay for the way she treats me. Tomorrow, we are her superiors. Tomorrow, we will rock her!"

"What if we kill her?" Hobbes asked. "Phase 42, involves a case of TNT exploding under the stairs."

"Only to keep her trapped upstairs with the Crazy Old bum from Phase 37." Calvin snapped.


"Hi Rosalyn!" Calvin's dad said over the phone from his hotel room. "How's Calvin? …My clubs… But you caught him right? …A Calvin dummy… Not the superhero shtick! … HE DID WHAT! …Good Grief! Goodbye!" He hung up the phone "Honey. You won't believe what your kid did!"

"My kid?" Calvin's mom screamed. "Let me explain something to you!"