Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rating: R/M FOR A REASON!

Warning: I can't write Smut. CAPS and perhaps slight OOC.

Harry's stomach did more flips and flops in the 5 minutes it took to walk down to the dungeons, than it had all summer.

He was nervous, but he didn't know why. He shouldn't be nervous, he should be angry.

It was the beginning of his sixth year, only one week into term and already he was back for Occlumency lessons. Dumbledore simply demanded that he learn with Snape, and with the "severity of the situation, I think at least 4 lessons a week would be most appropriate." So now Harry was stuck with fucking Snape for 4 days a week. He was so tired, emotionally and physically, that he had fallen behind on his homework.

He dreaded the Quidditch season.

The thing that irked him was that Snape just made it worse. Harry knew he sucked, but Snape just pushed him harder. It wasn't how Harry learnt, why couldn't he figure that out?

It wasn't only that, but now whenever Harry showed the slightest bit of weakness in his memories or while lying on the floor breathing heavily after collapsing from Snape's forcefulness, Snape would just pull him apart bit by bit. It was like he was trying to get Harry to hate him even more.

Like that was possible.

He had taken as many insults as he could get, and it was only his forth lesson today. Snape had insulted his parents, Sirius, his friends, his "Golden Boy" status… everything he could to try to get a reaction from Harry. He had, so far, not reacted. Not until he got out of the classroom anyway.

But Sirius' death was still raw, he hated being famous and he hated not having someone who loved him. More now than ever.

He was going to break soon.

But then Snape would throw him out and he wouldn't be able to protect his mind. He knew he needed to be able to protect himself. He didn't want anyone else getting hurt because of him.

Harry knocked lightly on the door.

"Enter." He said, before Harry had even finished knocking.

Harry opened the door, and before he even knew what was going on, Snape had cast Legilimens.

Harry wasn't even partly prepared. Infact, his mind had been so FULL of memories and emotions; there was no way he'd even be able to get Snape out without giving himself one hell of a migraine.

He saw picture beyond picture flash across his mind. Some lasted only a second, whereas some of the more vivid ones played out before his eyes.

It wasn't until Harry saw himself being beaten up by Dudley for being a "fag" that Harry remembered his professor was inside his mind. He started to panic, which just made it worse. More embarrassing memories floated forward… his Uncle locking him in his cupboard… being denied food for a week… being called a freak… the cemetery… Cedric falling… Sirius falling… him casting the Cruciatus… him destroying Dumbledore's office…

When he didn't think he could take anymore, Snape pushed harder. It awakened memories he had forgotten. Thing's he had blocked out were resurfaced. He saw as a small baby died before his eyes… Aunt Marge laughing at his naked form, after that stupid dog had ripped his T-Shirt off… being beaten up by his cousin and Uncle when he was no older than 6… telling his teacher of his home life and having her laugh in his face… all the children at school shunning him… being chosen last at the sports… sitting in an orphanage…

All he could think about was the memories. He had completely forgotten that Snape was in his head. He couldn't acknowledge anything but the embarrassment, the hurt and the hate.

'Potter, I'm in your head you imbecile. Get me out!'

All the hatred, embarrassment, hurt, pain, anger and guilt he felt right now headed straight for Snape at his words. Before he knew it he was inside Snape's head.

He watched as images beyond images played inside his head, nothing he remembered. Being beaten up by a large man, cowering in the corner as a woman tried to protect him, being surrounded by a lot of men in black coats.

So Harry thought he'd get his own back. He pushed harder inside Snape's head.

He saw Snape at Death Eater meetings, torturing and being tortured, raping and being raped, punishing and being punished. He watched as Snape's father allowed his 6-year-old son to be raped and abused by his Death Eater friends. He watched as harry's father and Sirius laughed at him while he was upside down in the air, how they laughed at him when they walked into a toilet and found him crying, how they teased his appearance, how they laughed at his vulnerability.

And then he found himself on the floor, in Snape's potions lab, breathing heavier than anytime before.

And suddenly he understood Snape.

And Snape's hatred for Harry.

He looked up and saw Snape on the floor, breathing heavily and as white as a sheet.

He didn't understand what had happened. He didn't have the power to forcibly stay inside someone's head like that.

But the hate and anger he felt for Snape after he unearthed such powerful memories must have awoken something in him, or at least temporarily given him the power to do what he did.

He must have unearthed some of Snape's most painful memories.

Part of him wondered why he was still lying on the floor. Did he have a bloody death wish?

Another part of him wanted to console the professor. But Harry knew that that would do no good. For 30 odd years, Snape had to live with these memories. If no one could help him in that time, he doubted a few words from himself would help the professor at all.

But another part of him felt angry. Snape knew what it felt like to be abused, to be hated, to be picked on. Yet Snape himself repeatedly abused Harry in that exact way.

And Harry was nothing like his father!

How dare Snape even make such a false picture of Harry? How dare he be such a hypocrite!

Harry refused to leave. Refused to back down now. He had seen part of the real Snape. He knew Snape had no right to treat Harry the way he did. He would make Snape admit that.

He waited. Waited for the professor to speak.

It didn't take long. Staring at someone tends to get them annoyed.

"Get out, Potter," whispered Snape.

"No."

"I said get out! NOW!"

He was shouting now. He looked angrier than Harry had ever seen him.

"No! For days now all you've done is force me to relive memories, and then riled me up afterwards. You've been rude about my family! And you were horrible about Sirius when you KNOW, and I mean KNOW since you've seen what it did to me, you KNOW how much that hurt me! At least you had a mother that would protect you! Sirius was the only person that EVER loved me and yet you continue to treat him like shit after he's DEAD!"

"Do not speak about me that way. And how dare you speak about what you saw?"

"I DID NOTHING WRONG. IT WAS YOU WHO PUSHED EVEN HARDER EVEN THOUGH YOU KNEW I WAS STUCK ALREADY. IT WAS YOU WHO UNEARTHED MEMORIES I HAD FORGOTTEN! I HAD CHOSEN TO LOOSE THEM FOR A REASON, YOU FUCKING BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT, AND THEN GET MAD WHEN I RETALIATE. ALL I DID WAS MIRROR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

Snape stood standing sideways with his head towards Harry. Harry hadn't been this angry since Dumbledore's office last year. Snape was breathing heavily still. Harry could see he was trying extremely hard not to strangle Harry.

But Harry didn't care.

"HELL, BY ALL RIGHTS I SHOULD BE FUCKING ABUSING YOU, PICKING AT YOUR WEAKNESSES JUST TO MAKE YOU MAD! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT, HUH, SNIVELLUS! HOW WOULD -"

He was cut off by Snape grabbing him by his neck and shoving him against the wall.

"Do not use that name!" He spat.

"Did I hit a nerve, SIR? Because I could do much worse. You deserve much worse! I know exactly what buttons to push now, Snape!"

"YOU know nothing about me you little fuck. So you saw a few memories. That doesn't give you my fucking history you arrogant little twat-"

"Arrogant? ARROGANT? How the fuck am I arrogant you fucking hypocrite?"

Harry was trying to get Snape riled up. He knew that now. He didn't know why, but he wanted to make Snape break. To make him shout.

So he pushed his buttons.

"How did it feel, huh? Letting your father's friends use you as their own little play thing?"

Snape was loosing control. He wanted to hurt Harry, Harry knew it. Harry wanted Snape to hurt him, too.

"Be quiet Potter, before I shut you up myself."

"Oooo big words, professor. But you didn't answer my question. HOW DID IT FEEL? AND HOW DOES IT FEEL KNOWING THAT THEY RUINED YOUR LIFE. THAT YOU LET THEM WIN? THAT THEY MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE TODAY?"

"YOU KNOW NOTHING! PEOPLE GET OVER ABUSE POTTER! YOU WERE FUCKING ABUSED TOO AND YOU'RE NOT FUCKING CYNICAL AND MEAN LIKE ME! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M LIKE THIS? IT'S BECAUSE OF LITTLE FUCKING SHITS LIKE YOU. PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN YOU AND HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO TRY TO PUSH YOU DOWN. PEOPLE WHO FORCE YOU TO DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FUCKING SICK! PEOPLE WHO FORCE YOU TO FEEL THINGS YOU SWORE YOU'D NEVER LET YOURSELF FEEL. GUILT, POTTER, HATE, ANGER, EMBARRASMENT! THAT'S WHAT FUCKING MADE ME LIKE THIS. YOUR FUCKING FATHER AND HIS BEST FRIEND! THAT -"

"Sirius only treated you the way you deserved to be treated. Fucking crying all the time, what did you expect?"

"How dare you? HOW DARE YOU! SIRIUS TREATED THE WEAKER PEOPLE LIKE THEY WERE SCUM! HE TREATED PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO STAND UP FOR THEMSELVES AS THOUGH THEY DESERVED TO BE THAT WAY. HE MADE ME HATE SCHOOL AS MUCH AS I DID MY HOME! I HAD NO SANCTUARY BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING ARSEHOLE OF A GODFATHER! IT WAS HIM AND JAMES! THEY PUSHED ME TOWARDS THE FUCKING DARK LORD, AND NOW I AM FOREVER BOUND TO DO HIS FUCKING BIDDING! IT'S NEVER HAVING CONTROL, ALWAYS BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO, BEING A TOOL THAT MAKES YOU THIS WAY POTTER!"

Snape was dangerously close to Harry now. He looked so mad that Harry was starting to get a bit scared. But Harry, somehow, KNEW that Snape had never been able to tell anyone this. He'd always been a closed book, too afraid to let anyone in. Harry knew that Snape needed to let this all go. He didn't give himself a chance to think. He didn't want to let Snape calm down.

"So why the fuck didn't you fight back?"

"I WAS NEVER TAUGHT HOW TO FIGHT BACK YOU IDIOT. I WAS ONLY EVER TAUGHT HOW TO SUBMIT. MY WHOLE LIFE I HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT A FUCKING SLAVE TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE."

And then Harry realised. Snape wanted power, and used Harry to get that.

"So you used me to get a bit of power? You treated me like you had been treated your WHOLE FUCKING LIFE, just to feel a bit of power. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me every fucking year. And no, I never get used to it because every year I have an extra fucking wound that you like to rub salt in! And why me? Why did you fucking choose to pick on me? I don't believe it's because I look like my father -"

"Potter, just leave." Snape looked a bit vulnerable now.

"No fucking-"

"I did hate you. Because of how you look. Because I thought you had a perfect life. Because I didn't know the truth. But… then I didn't." He trailed off weakly, looking slightly pissed, at himself.

"So then why do you still continue to be so fucking MEAN? Don't you think I get enough of that at home? I never had anyone to love me, to take care of me. You poke fun at my parents when the only thing I wish is that they were alive." Harry was crying by now. "You make fun of Sirius when he's alive. He was the only thing I had. The ONLY FUCKING PERSON TO EVER LOVE ME! And you fucking treated him like shit. And now you're fucking glad he's dead and you don't care how much it hurts me, you still make the world aware how much you're glad! Don't you think I need him? How the fuck am I supposed to save this fucking world if I have nothing to live for? Huh?"

Snape looked at him in shock. Harry realised what he had said, but didn't care. Though he did change the subject, slightly.

"Why the fuck did you have to hate me more than everyone else, when all I ever get at home is that? The only real friends I have are Ron and Hermione. That's it! They're the only people who actually like me for me and not my fucking scar. Why me Professor? WHY ME?"

And then Snape kissed him. It was only short, but it shocked Harry out of his anger.

"That's why." He whispered.

Harry could only stare at him.

Until Snape leaned into kiss him again and then Harry found himself kissing Snape back. At first it was hard and fast but then it slowed and it became so totally intoxicating that Harry found it hard to stand. He whimpered into Snape's mouth at the feelings that rushed through him. He needed this so much. He knew that now. He fought for control over the kiss as much as Snape. The kissed turned more passionate and soon Harry found himself very much aroused. He groaned into Snape's mouth and lifted his legs to wrap around Snape's hips.

Snape pushed him further into the wall. The feel of Snape's erection against him made Harry groan more.

He wanted Snape, now.

"Snape…"

He took the point and removed all their clothes with a slash of his wand. Another wand movement and Harry felt a hard, warm and lubricated erection entering him.

He gasped, slightly in pain and slightly in pleasure. He WAS a virgin. Snape slowed slightly but Harry knew he wasn't going to for long. He wanted Snape and Snape needed him.

He kissed Harry again, and slowly entered. The pleasure from the kiss sent electric pulses down his body and straight into his erection, which left the pain from his behind, right in the back of his mind.

Once he was inside, Snape started to move.

"Relax." He whispered in a voice Harry only now thought sexy.

And so he did. He relaxed into the sensations, the pleasure he felt whenever Snape hit that spot.

Snape was kissing him again, now, but this time it was more loving and less passionate. Snape suddenly hit that spot but this time it was better and Harry threw his head back in pleasure.

"Oh my god, do that again!"

Snape laughed and started trailing little kisses down his throat and onto his nipples. Harry gasped at the sensation, which made everything even more pleasurable.

Before Harry knew what was happening, Snape had stopped kissing him and was moving faster. Harry felt nothing but pleasure until his erection started throbbing painfully, waiting for release.

"Oh! Faster!"

Snape moved faster, groaning in that Snapeish way.

"Faster! Oh yes! Uh, Severus… Yes, just there..."

Snape started pounding into Harry faster, his head laying on Harry's shoulder. When Snape felt his climax nearing he started to rub Harry's cock to make him come quicker.

Harry gasped, "Faster!"

With one final thrust, Harry felt Snape come, which sent Harry over the edge. It was like an explosion as he climaxed… all over Snape's hand.

They stood like that for a while before Snape cleaned them up and magicked their clothes back on. He still didn't move, though.

"I'm sorry… and… thanks."

"What for?"

"I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. You were right. And thanks for breaking me. Albus has been trying to do that for years."

Harry could only hug him tighter.

FIN

I'll let your imaginations wonder what happens next.

And a few notes: Snape subconsciously loves Harry, but doesn't want to. He hates Harry because he loves him. And that's why Harry was able to break him, because the words were coming from someone who meant something to him. And he knew it was true. Snape couldn't hurt Harry, so he no choice but to listen. And most of the time, Snape was to frozen to actually move.

EDIT 8/3/09 - I have just re-read this and edited any mistakes i saw. I'll admit to cringing and therefore skimming over the smut section. Don't know how i wrote that to be honest, since i have no experience!