I saw it all in my mind. I'd been confused, I'd been sad, I'd been on the verge of desperation so deep I could have cried and sweated blood; but I had never felt like this. I wanted to wrench my own skin from my body. I wanted to spit acid.
I was enraged to a point where sanity had no usefulness to me.
And I could just see that sick fucking bastard. Oh, but I could just see him, see him so clearly in my own mind that it might have been his.
There he stood, standing on a cliff, the wind wrapping around his long pant legs, the laces dancing to a violent breeze that was as chaotic as the moment itself. He waited, more patiently than one might have ever thought he could, staring hard into the distance. It was like Kakarot himself could feel the magnitude of what was about to happen, like a child awakening from dreams of fairytales only to meet their own fantastic character sitting on the edge of the bed.
This was a creature of fantasy, of fantasies never afforded, the God someone worshipped without ever truly believing they existed at all.
I could feel the trembling in his body, right down to his bones, as feelings of revolution came over every part. His fingers grasped at the tight sleeves of his fitted gray shirt, tucked so quaintly to hide the track-marks that separated us. Or used to at least.
What would he look like? What would he be like? What will this meeting mean? Why was he here?
Every question that penetrated his mind came into my own, despite the distance that separated us. Even as I was chained and caged and drugged like an animal, I saw clouds in my mind, saw that we both waited expectantly for him to magically appear in the midst of them like some super hero come to save the day.
And just like that he did, a tiny speck in the distance that slowly got bigger. Kakarot's heart was beating so furiously that his mind began to fog, his breaths so sporadic that he was close to passing out.
Every part of his body was shaking, his bottom lip clenched between his teeth to avoid the trembling he knew was there. He'd read enough about our past excursions to know that this meeting was always going to be black and white; could go one way, could go another entirely.
Yet it wasn't until Vegeta landed that the emotional impact hit me, my hands coated in fresh blood when I squirmed against my shackles.
His face was perfect once again, Bulma truly having concocted wonders on her darling piece of work. Fresh pale skin was smoothed over those gorgeously high cheekbones, dark flesh around his eyes only causing them to peer all the more deeply outwards. Long black lashes circled eyes the shape of cat's, the pupil syrupy and endless.
I couldn't read his facial expression as I normally never really could (and even when I thought I could, had, in fact, been terribly wrong about it anyways). His lips were held tightly together, the inevitably pissed-off-at-the-whole-world trademark look plastered over his eyebrows.
God he was beautiful. I even felt the word vibrating through Kakarot's mind: beautiful, so beautiful.
The two were truly a dynamic pair of evil, one dressed with black pants and a gray shirt, the other wearing all black that complimented every amazingly chiseled feature on his being.
Yet what struck me as odd was that Kakarot's mind was reeling, not on these things, but on ideas totally to the contrary. He wasn't struck dumb by Vegeta's outwards appearance as everyone else had always been, but by the potential the other man had.
'He could teach me everything.'
The thought permeated his mind, sinking into my own and making my stomach twist in on itself.
"What is wrong with this place?" Vegeta's hateful voice came, arms crossing expectantly over his chest. "This world is weird and your people are even more irritating than the blasted humans in mine."
Kakarot's stature wavered slightly, an almost hurt expression appearing and then disappearing as he tried to conceal it. It was in that instant that an undoubtedly wicked grin came over MY expressions, realizing something that I hadn't originally mulled over; we may have looked identical but I had one thing over Kakarot that he hadn't planned on: Vegeta.
I knew damn near everything there was to know about the bastard, from his moodiness to his complete inability to socialize civilly with anyone. Kakarot had never interacted with the maniacal whirlwind that was Vegeta and it made me laugh like a complete psychopath. Oh, but wasn't that sick pile in for a treat.
"Come with me," Kakarot spoke, trying to match his hoarse, cigarette-damaged voice with mine. "let me show you this world."
Vegeta, as expected, said nothing, gazing intimidatingly in the way that only he could. He was sizing Kakarot up, looking for anything and everything that might account for this odd turn of events they'd wound up in.
Yet another adoring fact came to my smile and that was another dearest Kakarot hadn't planned for; as observant as I was of my own features and actions, Vegeta could read me even better than I could read myself.
He watched every movement with terrific interest, tongue in his cheek when even the simplest gesture struck him as slightly off. Even the trivial means of talking was catching him off guard, the way that Kakarot spoke so gently and so carefully.
For all his irrational and crude behavior, Vegeta no doubt had expected violence from this meeting, expected a heart-broken Goku with an everlasting grudge to greet him. Instead, this strange, unreadable character had met him, the face and eyes that of Goku but the rest an indecipherable mystery.
Slowly but surely, Kakarot rose to the sky, mind going a thousand miles a minute. Here was his hero, his living, breathing legend; a beautiful, deranged monster. What had he expected? A hug? A kiss? A meeting of two dynamic evils that came together and reigned tyrannically over this ruined world?
Yet even in my absolute hatred of him, I saw a strange light beaming in his eyes that had never been there since I'd met Kakarot; I saw hope. Like a person who had never believed in love, never believed in the meeting and conjoining of two souls, he'd roamed his wasted world like a creature that should have been in the grave years ago. Even now though, a smile that could not be shaken came to his mouth, a slant in the bottom of his eyelid.
He was overwhelmed. The embodiment that completed everything that was never whole, was behind him, flying at just the slightest distance. The man from dreams, he thought were simply that, was within his reach and he was awestruck by it.
I almost felt sorry for him, at his delusional reality. He was just as fucking stupid as I had been, seeing beauty in a soulless beast.
It didn't surprise me when I felt them come closer, didn't even catch me off guard when Kakarot lead Vegeta to precisely where he'd intended to begin with; in this room, right in front of me. Fucker.
Seeing Vegeta with my own eyes was, as you might have guessed, gut-wrenching. Like someone had dug my heart out with a bent spoon and pissed on it, I tore stupidly against my chains. I knew it would never work. I knew I wouldn't get free. It was desperation alone that couldn't let me stay still, couldn't let me watch this fucking traveling circus show.
I felt like a silly puppet, a puppet with a soul, held up by strings that he could never move; wishing and hoping the master would return someday to give him some semblance of life once more.
I wanted to fucking die.
Instead I just screamed like a lunatic, thrashing and throwing myself this way and that, until the blood loss alone stole my power to continue. I prayed maybe, just maybe, Saiyan genes could afford Vegeta the means to hear me, to maybe even see me, the sprawled out puppet on the other side of a mirror, begging and begging to be let free.
"Vegeta!" I screamed through bloodied vocal cords. "Vegeta see me! See me!"
Yet I was nothing more than a fly tapping on the outside of a window, precisely as Kakarot had planned.
"This is enough," Vegeta said smugly, eyes darting around his surroundings, taking in the vast, expensive scenery. He looked dismally towards the decorations, the small water fall on the other side of the room, the green and silver that had NEVER been my choice of colors. "None of this makes sense."
Kakarot merely gazed at him sheepishly, a false, fake look of innocence and naivety. Oh God but if Vegeta only knew that behind that shy smile lay serpents.
"This universe is strange and the people are…" Vegeta glanced to the side, sorting his words. "terrified."
I just wanted to slap him for being so beautiful, for being the perfect fucking pawn, the perfect victim for Kakarot. If only he hadn't been everything the monster had dreamed about. If only there was some immense, undefeatable flaw that disgusted Kakarot enough to let us both go.
"Terrified?" Kakarot cocked his head to the side, arms laced behind him in a boyish manner, pacing around Vegeta.
"Yes," Vegeta spat. "Terrified. They fear some monster that reigns here, some maniacal creature that haunts this world. They say a soulless alien took over earth and enslaved them all."
"Is that what they said then?" Kakarot grinned, trying to hide his teeth, trying to maintain his pathetic charade.
"Care to explain or would you prefer I beat it out of you?"
Kakarot smiled most at that, running his hands through his hair in a gesture I have never made in my life. In a bold move, he sauntered up to Vegeta, eyes beaming and flirtatious as he paid no mind to personal boundaries. His eyes flashed as his face came within a mere inch of the other's, teeth gleaming beneath his insane smile.
"Suppose I prefer you beat it out of me?" He breathed.
Vegeta's face was too hilarious to throw into words, eyebrows damn near meeting his hair line.
"Is that what you want to do Vegeta," Kakarot whispered, eyelids low. "Do you want to hurt me?"
If Vegeta hadn't been so caught up in keeping his nether regions in check, the thought might have crossed his God damn brain that never in my LIFE have I ever been so bold! In most of our encounters, I was damn near raped into it, unable to even respond to most of his advances until the very last moment when I realized that, between the two of us, I had no chance of resistance.
Vegeta just shook his head, stumbling backwards and putting distance between them. I'd never seen him so caught off guard, so speechless. He'd visibly paled, eyes darting here and there more sporadically as he tried to get his bearings.
"Enough of this," He growled. "it's time to go home."
A look of disappointment crossed Kakarot's features, smile washed instantly away.
"But I am home." He said, crossing his arms and turning his back to the other Saiyan. "This world is precisely how it should be," he turned back with a wicked grin. "evil, human-enslaving aliens and all."
"And what about your family?" Vegeta interjected, eyes hard.
A slight hitch in his breath and Kakarot amazed me one more time. I thought I'd seen every look there was to see on my own face. I thought I could read Kakarot as well as God himself could. Yet he caught me off yet again.
An infinite sadness came into his eyes, his breath caught in his throat. Beautiful, white flesh became the color of a corpse's, so pale it didn't look real. Even the gorgeous purple hint to his red lips drained into ashen, eyes full with a look of despair so intense it made my heart-wrench.
"My… family?" He said, voice so choked I could hardly hear him.
"Yes," Vegeta hissed out from his teeth, looking positively primal in his anger. "Or did you completely forget about them. The world's deranged hero, thinking of no one but himself."
He spat in disgust.
"Why do you think I could never…." He caught his bottom lip between his teeth, forcefully quieting himself.
"Could never what?" Kakarot turned to look at him, formerly lost in his own revolution about his family.
"No," Kakarot spoke again, not to be deterred. He walked towards Vegeta, hesitating only when the other Saiyan hatefully turned his back to him. "Tell me what you could never do? Tell me what-…"
"I could never give a shit about you THAT'S what!" Vegeta reeled on him, eyes fiery. "A pathetic excuse for a lame-brained Saiyan that doesn't give a shit enough about his own family to put his own stupidity aside! The world saw YOU as its chosen hero Kakarot, you!"
Vegeta pushed him backwards, Kakarot stumbling from the force and landing on the bed.
"A Saiyan protects his own," Vegeta pointed his finger down to the floor for emphasis. "A Saiyan does not leave his family to the good graces of the universe because of a selfish mistake! A Saiyan does not abandon his own home world because the residence don't see him as a glorified hero anymore!
"Your family could have DIED in your absence, could die any day that you are gone and you tell me THIS is your new home?!"
He shook his head, eyes red-rimmed with madness.
"Fuck you. You have no honor."
Kakarot had sat up on the edge of the bed, mind no doubt reeling with this information.
"And that's why you could never be with me," he spoke in a whisper, eyes staring off at nothing. "because you never respected me."
"Pfft." Vegeta merely answered, back towards the other as he hatefully gazed around at the room. "There were other reasons."
"Because you hated me," Kakarot continued. "because you knew, within yourself, I was no damn hero. A man is only as good as his options and at the first real test of self, I ran."
The other said nothing, listening.
"You knew that even as evil as you portrayed yourself, you would never do what I have done. You knew that despite how much the humans hated you, despite what anyone thought, you'd still protect them. And me, I didn't even think of them. I didn't think a second of them then and I haven't thought even marginally of them since I've been here."
"Well, so glad you could have learned your lesson," Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Now, where are the Dragon Balls, I want to get out of this creepy place."
"Th…. There are none here." Kakarot stuttered, glancing anywhere but Vegeta as he sorted out his lies. "They don't exist."
The other Saiyan wavered in his stance, lips tight as he let that one sink in.
"No…..Dragon Balls?" He said quietly.
An eerie silence came over the room.
"What do you mean no Dragon Balls!?" He shouted, arms flailing out to the sides. "How are we supposed to get back?!"
"I-I don't know!" Kakarot chewed his lip. "I'll think of something."
"Oh that's a safe bet," Vegeta spat sarcastically. "let's just wait around for that one."
"You know what," Kakarot glared upwards, finally getting to his feet intimidatingly. "You are unpleasant."
Vegeta stepped back, probably never having guessed that his little pet Goku would actually stand up to him without having a life-or-death reason to do so.
"What do you mean 'unpleasant'?" He growled.
"You, Vegeta, are rude." Kakarot said, crossing his arms. "You are a nasty tempered little asshole. I don't know what I expected, but you, my friend, are rude."
"What precisely do you mean by 'what you expected'?"
Kakarot grabbed Vegeta by his collar, hoisting him violently in the air and smashing him into a wall.
"I don't think it matters," The younger Saiyan glared, holding the other painfully against the wall. Vegeta's face was absolutely priceless and if I could have put it on a Christmas Card, I probably would have. "What matters is, I never want you talking to me like that ever again, understand?"
Now precisely where Kakarot was going with all this, I'll never know. Perhaps his ability to intimidate an entire globe of weaker beings had gone to his head. Perhaps ten years of no one looking at him with even a sidewards glance had given him delusions of grandeur. Whatever the case, I can tell you it was quite unexpected when his teeth were damn near knocked into the back of his throat by a blow that would have disintegrated a weaker man.
He flew across the room, head grinding itself into the wall, heavy body landing on the waterfall statues and destroying them. He quickly tugged his head from its captivity, rubble and plaster spraying all over the room. His fantastic gray shirt was drenched with water, the damaged fountain spitting mass amounts of liquid everywhere.
He stood wobbly, grabbing what was left of the wall for support.
"That's right," he grinned satanically. "That's how I like it."
Vegeta was not to be caught off guard, throwing an enormous blast that was barely dodged by the other.
A quick spray of fiery energy launched itself against the Prince's chest, knocking him into the wall behind.
The strangest sensation came over me that they were both positively enjoying this little bout, a sensation that made me even more furious than ever. I was the only one Vegeta had enjoyed fighting like this. Vegeta was the only one that could throw my pulse into overload like that.
It infuriated me.
The two battled it out, finally just throwing themselves forward into an all out punching brawl, fighting for dominance over the other.
"Higher your power," Vegeta ordered. "I KNOW you're stronger than this!"
Kakarot responded by flipping the other Saiyan onto his back, battering teeth and flesh until blood was flying through the air into his face.
Neither was winning but also, neither was necessarily losing either. Having never known each other's fighting style, having never seen the other in action, they constantly became victim's to sneak attacks that would have never been the case in mine and Vegeta's world.
I saw Vegeta's frustration when moves he'd never seen me enact would catch him off guard, a blow to the face that he'd never seen me deliver in the past. Of course, Vegeta also didn't know that Kakarot had never reached the point of Super Saiyan, and as a result, believed the other to simply be toying with him, keeping both of their levels low.
Kakarot on the other hand, was testing Vegeta. In every smile, I saw his tactics, understood why he allowed this to continue. Besides the massive high he received from fighting with another Saiyan that he'd never encountered before, he was curious as to how strong this other being could be; how strong Kakarot HIMSELF could be.
Vegeta pinned him down, hands in each other's hands as they struggled. Kakarot put up a valiant fight from beneath, eyebrows colliding as he ground his teeth, flying upwards until Vegeta's back smashed into the ceiling.
"You….. mother….. fucker…." Vegeta gnashed between his jaws, eyes burning with intensity.
The transformation came quickly after Vegeta finally lost his temper, beautiful black eyes bleeding into cruel turquoise, the pupil disappearing in what I knew was a painful part of the ascension process.
Vegeta's skin and hair paled, angry black tresses burnt into gleaming white. His eyes became even harder, turquoise fading into a near white, blue-silver color that always signaled when his foe had gone too far.
Kakarot, for his part, was speechless, composure gone as he fell silently to the floor, gazing upwards at the ethereal transformation.
"So that's how…." He breathed, chest rising and falling rapidly.
Vegeta watched curiously, never having been so admired for something as trivial as changing was to us. He'd certainly never seen me react so oddly, face going from death-stare to a look that simply screamed 'huh?' in a matter of seconds.
"What's wrong with you?" He demanded.
"You are," Kakarot swallowed. "amazing."
"Heh," Vegeta smiled smugly, closing his eyes. "been a long time since you've seen me in all my glory."
Kakarot took the bait, eyes flooding with lust and deranged sadism.
"Been a long time since a lot of things." He cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow.
Vegeta's feet touched the floor, his silvery white hair dancing above him.
"If you catch my drift." Kakarot added.
The other stood there for a moment, a thousand things going through his mind and a thousand things I'd never know. He gazed at the other with a cryptic look, admiring the handsome, strange creature that sat on the floor before him. Maybe somewhere inside himself he knew something was wildly off. Maybe somewhere deeper still, he knew this wasn't the same man that had fallen in love with him so completely it'd nearly destroyed us both. Maybe a lot of things.
Vegeta kneeled, crawling cat-like towards Kakarot, ever cautious despite the millions of things that might have clued him in on the obvious.
I knew better than to thrash, knew better than to scream, knew better than to cry like a desperate mad man. I knew none of the above would help, knew he'd never see or hear me.
The thought crossed my mind that this would be the end of the story; a story never really finished.
The thought crossed my mind that this was the end of it all. That they would accept that there was no way back to the other world; that they would find consolation in each other; that Kakarot would come up with a million and one excuses as to why he was so different from the heart-broken fool that had left their world so long ago.
The thought crossed my mind that maybe they deserved each other, that maybe this WAS the best way to end a story.
As Vegeta threw Kakarot on the bed, devouring the other's lips painfully, I almost accepted that I would soon be nothing more than that odd smell wafting from an unknown room. I would see and I would scream and I would wail as I watched them, until my eyes began to rot out of my head, until my lips cracked and fell from my chin, until my screaming came to an inevitable halt.
And that would be the end of the story. And it would be precisely as Kakarot had planned, as he tore Vegeta's shirt off, soft fingers tracing the skin of a fairytale. He would know I watched, the old ghost behind the mirror, as his lips wound over Vegeta's throat, listening for the hitches in breath when he hit precisely the spot the other Saiyan loved most of all.
He would even stare at me while they did it, as they did it now, every day, Vegeta's beautiful hair fisted in his hand as they fucked each other raw. Black, cruel eyes would stare at me from Vegeta's lap, pulsating cock deep-throated by a man that wasn't me.
And he would know, just as he did then, I would listen to the throaty gasps of a man that was once, within reason, my own, lost to selfishness.
And that would just be the end of the story.