The Greasy Git has children!
An alarming prospect to some, but amusing none the less. Enjoy the lives of Severus Snape, his wife, and their four children; Alexander and Christiana (twins,) Sebastian and Jocelyn.
This may or may not be a part of the World of 'Departure into the Past', I haven't decided yet. And besides, if I did, that would ruin the surprise.
Meet the Parents
What happens when Snape's sixteen year old daughter brings home a boyfriend? Will Snape endure someone dating his 'little girl' and more importantly, will the poor boy survive?
"I don't care who he is! He is not dating my little girl!" yelled Snape.
Snape and his wife Katrina were standing in their kitchen discussing, well it was more like arguing, about their daughter Jocelyn's new boyfriend. He was coming over tonight for dinner.
"Look Severus, I don't care what kind of prejudices you have, you will be civil towards him. You are not allowed poison him, or I will kill you. Have I made myself clear?" Katrina replied while standing toe to toe with her husband and glaring right back at him.
"He is the spawn of a demon and a hell raiser," Snape turned red in the face. "I will not have that…that evil line mingling with mine!"
"Severus, they are dating not getting married. You don't have to worry about that right now." Katrina flicked her wand at the chopping board, and the knives starting cutting up the chicken with an overabundance of enthusiasm.
"I will poison him to make up for the fact he didn't do it himself while he was in Potions!" He started towards the basement stairs. The door slammed in front of him and he turned around to see Katrina pointing her wand at him.
"You will not poison him, didn't I just say that you are to be civil to him. You don't have to like him, but you will not scare him away or you will be sleeping outside in the broom shed for several years."
"I would rather she dated a Malfoy than who she currently is," he snapped and collapsed in a chair. He continued glaring at the wall, pretending it was the 'demon-spawn'.
"The only living Malfoy's at the moment are a 38 year old married man and his two year old son. I don't think that's possible."
"He's the you-know-who's son for Merlin's sake." Snape then started ticking off things on his fingers as he got up, "I can't speak their names, I hate them, I owe them both something, both are demon-spawn—" He stopped when Katrina whacked his fingers with a spoon.
"I think you are exaggerating, he isn't that bad, and you're going to have to say their names sometime you silly git. I confess that I didn't see this coming, but Severus, she has to choose her own path."
Katrina came over and wrapped her arms around Snape's waist, "People said the same things about you. Actually, now that I think about it, they said worse. Just give him a chance."
Snape was still furious, but he knew that if he didn't agree he would end up under an obedience curse outside in a broom shed. It was the middle of winter and you got icicles on you after only five minutes outside.
"Fine. I will not kill him. But if he has no backbone, which I suspect, I can't promise that I won't scare him away."
Katrina knew she had gotten all she was going to, so she went back to mixing the stir-fry.
Four Hours Later
Snape was sitting in the living room pretending to read the Daily Prophet, but really he was thinking his way through all the pro's and con's of just killing this boy. He was just coming to a conclusion when he heard voices on the front porch. He strained to listen.
"Dad's not really that scary. He's, well, kind of fluffy inside."
Snape nearly gagged. Alright, he had spoiled his children a bit, but he was not fluffy inside. He snapped out of his thoughts to listen to the response.
The boy laughed nervously, "I'm sure he is. How long will this meal take?"
Snape was thinking the same thing. How long was he going to have to endure the tension of trying not to hex the boy into oblivion or poison the little rat.
"Only an hour or so. You'll survive."
Snape hoped for the boy's sake they both survived, because he reminded himself that he didn't want to go back to Azkaban.
"Is their any topics I should avoid?" asked the boy.
Snape started listing them off in his mind, your father, my hair, your family, my nose, your relatives, your father, your mother, the war, your father, yourself, me, your father, politics, your father, life, your uncles, my daughter, your father…actually it would be best if the boy just kept his mouth shut, Snape decided.
"Try to let him direct the conversation and if he starts staring at you, just start talking about something neutral, like, the weather…or dragons."
His daughter did have some sense, even though she was dating, him. And if Snape never spoke than they boy wouldn't either. Wonderful concept, thought Snape.
The boy asked, "What does your mother think of me?"
"Oh, she's okay, probably a bit surprised but your parents and her don't have as bad of a history as Dad and your father do."
"They're not here."
"So charming your father is going to be the hardest part?"
"Pretty much, considering my father is known to hold grudges."
Hold grudges, Snape thought. I am known to hold grudges for three generations and to dance on graves daily. Jocelyn was speaking again.
The door crashed open and Jocelyn bounced in, "Hi, Dad. Where's Mom?"
Snape smiled fondly at his daughter and then remember who was standing on the porch behind her. "Kitchen." he growled.
Katrina came out of the kitchen and hugged her daughter.
Jocelyn let go of her mother, reached out the door, grabbed her boyfriend's wrist and pulled him through the door, "Dad this is Chris. Chris, my father."
Christopher Potter, the eldest son of Ginevra Weasley and Harry Potter, stuck out his hand and shook Snape's, "Hello Mr. Snape."
That is the end…for now.