My Author's Notes and Junk:
Okay people, I know I said this would be done in a two chapters and an epilogue right? Well, I decided to combine chapter seven and eight to form one LONG chapter. Probably around thirty pages or so because not only does the beginning of this story explain the plot so far in case people were going 'WTF?' and what not. So even if you DO understand what I have been saying for a very long time, I will feel better if I explain things. Review to say what you think and what not. So anyway, this is the last chapter before epilogue where I ATTEMPT (notice I said that instead of something else) to at least a few make out scenes and apologizing between our two lovebirds and what not, blah blah blah. So, let's move forward now!
Gaspeth! On with the freakishly long chapter!
Explanations on the story thus far:
Since in the actual story I will not be addressing this, John and Anya met when they were in their sixth year at a trip to Honeydukes. Well, Anya was sneaking in and he was going like the rest of them but they did fall in love. Like in the last chapter he had fallen for her flirts, well yes, after that they began to date and fall deeper in love. John, sadly, developed a bond too deep that spurned her idea to create the living puppet in hopes that he wouldn't succumb to depression after she died.
Now, the pills I talked about earlier was in fact, only a part of that chapter, it was that he was deemed mentally unstable after Anya got sick. So he was given pills to help him keep his calm. Anya was diagnosed after the birth of Romulus and Remus. Don't ask me about the illness, use your imagination on what kind of sickness it would be. (-;)
Anya knew she was going to die, seeing as the birth of twins was unexpected and greatly hurt her. So, she came up with the puppet in hopes that John would be kept company. However, due to the constant attention the spell needed, all her unwanted emotions seeped in even when she didn't want them too. As the fake mentioned earlier about how Anya was angry about only her suffering, it was true. Because, when you are in deep pain and hurt, you can't help but think 'why me' and so on and so forth.
Now, about all of John's memories taking place in John's study. That was where Remus and Romulus were not allowed, and Remus only broke that rule once when he very small. The puppet knew this and made sure that she kept a safe distance from Remus because the boy, at even a young age, was bluntly honest about what he felt. Also, the study was where John stayed most of the time after Anya's death.
-Now, off the subject of John Lupin and on to talk about Sirius and Remus and the plot as a whole! o Yay! Our two heroes of the story finally get the spotlight again, seeing as chapter six was mostly John's thoughts and feelings. Okay anyway, about the story first, the plot idea and title.-
The original story was that Sirius was going to discover that Remus' parents were highly abusive and that they didn't give a damn. Well, that was the original idea, until a reviewer told me about how James got blinded related to the 'Hear no Evil: Speak no Evil: See no Evil' stuff. So looking at that a thought struck me, and suddenly everything was changed. James getting blinded was an unconscious thing, a fight scene that was meant to get him my back so I didn't have to write about him and have him be on his merry way (so sorry James fans! I love him too but this story was meant only for Sirius and Remus!). So halfway through this I was like, 'okay, now the name for the story doesn't fit' and thus the new title was created in its place. Also, in the original plot, Sirius was going to kill John Lupin and Remus would be able to speak again and all that crappy happy stuff.
Then, I thought about Remus' twin that likes to appear sometimes (- Crafty, crafty Romulus). So then something struck me to write about him, but to mention him so mysteriously and never get to him again sounded so dumb, that a new under plot seemed to manifest within it. Then, I was sick of making John (or generally hearing Remus' father as bad) so evil I decided to put a sort of guilt within him, which also took the form of Anya's puppet, which was, in all truth, a total whim to write. Though, I must say, writing her was so fun you wouldn't believe how many times I would break into (slightly evil) laughter. She is, actually, a creation from all MY, the authoress', bitterness towards the world, as I generally do for all the evil people in my stories.
Now, around the first or second chapter there was the schedule passing. McGonagall said that Remus was to be with mostly Slytherins that year. I HAD intended for Remus to be raped by them, and then Sirius going through a whole comforts-my-boyfriend phase while finding more about Remus' family. Then, that destroyed it when I wrote James going blind.
-Well, on to Romulus' back story-
As said, I intended for him to be a passing mention at best. But then, I tried a second direction to him, that in fact, he had been adopted and held something Remus needed. Then I realized this isn't some stupid thing like Star Trek. How I HATE that stupid show, and making Romulus the victim to this horrible plan was just…worse than the death he suffered.
Anyway, about his character, I had always pictured Romulus to be like Riku (Kingdom Hearts), wanting to be free and escape everything. This attitude was perfect for the plot now, and I was making a fleeting idea if he should be the one to accidentally let Remus get bitten, but then I thought it would be better (like in the HP books) for it to be completely John's fault.
Note: While writing chapter six I began to be increasingly falling in love with John, the character I originally hated and wanted to suffer. But as I continued to write his past all my anger fled to create Anya's fake.
-More details on HnE-SnE-SnE-
Okay, something going on about the entire story: Sirius seeing Remus' memories. This will be explained later on in this chapter so don't worry about that. Now, when Remus passed out and saw old memories would be explained too. Well, do I really need to tell you that this chapter(s, being that it is a combination of chapter eight too) will be completely angst? So, with that, onto more careful details that I feel need to be cleared up, but wouldn't do well with a mention in the story.
Okay, first off, the conversation had with Dumbledore. Well, that was going to be a big important piece but then I decided that 'meh, not that good' and decided to just have it be a brief moment between the headmaster and Remus. Because no story is complete without the appearance of Dumbledore! 8D
Afterward, Remus communicating with Sirius through a connection with Moony. That was…I decided not to follow that idea because I didn't really care for it all too much. Besides, took up to much time and I knew that it would just leave everyone with even more questions than they already have. So when the next chapter was posted the idea was immediately squashed into nothing.
By the way, andrea88 was the one that gave me the idea of the blind, deaf, and mute plot. So when you get the chance, thank that wonderful person because my original plot would have been crap. Although, sorry andrea88, Peter was not the one to go deaf, that fate was, everyone knows, bestowed upon Sirius. Besides, everyone knows that in my stories it is always Remus, Sirius, and James that suffer. 8D
You all love me anyway. So, onward to the actual story, since the rest of the questions you have will be answered with an actual story.
By the way, this big A/N was optional, but I find it fun to reader the author's opinions on their own stories. This part was merely to help you all out, but knowing you guys you have NEW questions to the story that should have been answered here. If you are still confused, review, and I shall comply to answer since this is the last chapter with the actual story. The epilogue is pure fluff, since you all deserved it.
Gaspeth! On to the actual story this time!
Anxius- This is the Latin word for anxious, but the root means "to choke".
This chapter is not read through, most of it anyway, please excuse any mistakes I might be sporting. 8D
-Chapter's Seven and Eight-
-Dinner party: Part One-
It was dark and unnervingly still. Why was everything so quiet? Was there something blocking his ears? Was he even sleeping? Cracking open his eyes he blinked, adjusting himself to the light of the infirmary. Looking around he noticed that it was day time out. How long had he been asleep? How was he able to fall asleep with such a muddled mind? Oh yeah, Malfoy had attacked him when he was taking a walk to clear his mind.
But then…what hap-oh, that's right, the spell Malfoy cast when astray. Blinding light, a muttered curse from Lucius, and then he passed out.
Shaking his head, he sat up, taking in his surroundings, ignoring the wave of dizziness that invaded his head. Why was everything so quiet? Looking to his side he saw Remus looking at him, worry filling his gaze. Rubbing away the sleep he looked at Remus again, who had opened his mouth, seemingly said something and closed again. Sirius cocked his head, eyes narrowing in confusion. However, Remus seemed to realize he couldn't exactly talk and covered his mouth, embarrassed.
This silence was making him feel…awkward. Sirius opened his mouth, wanting to ask a question but madam Pomfrey came into view, smiling at Sirius kindly. Why was she flapping her gums like that? Was she pretending to talk? Looking at Remus, the other man seemed to be nodding to what she was saying. Sirius shook his head, suddenly frightened and began cleaning his ears, panicking slightly when everything was still so silent.
Oh my god was he still asleep? Snapping out of his panicked daze, he realized Remus had been tugging on his shirt. The younger man was holding a clipboard for him to read. Taking it cautiously, reading it over.
Name: Sirius Black
Cause of Accident: Rogue spell
Sirius stared at the information, everything slowly sinking in; the flash of light before he passed out, the sudden silence with the world, Pomfrey talking but he unable to hear anything. Remus' hand was suddenly going through his hair, soothing him, while the other was wiping at his face. Oh, guess he must've started crying. Madam Pomfrey was shaking her head silently, saying something to Remus before leaving.
At least he could still feel Remus. Leaning in, he wrapped his arms around the younger mans waist, burrowing his head in the folds of Remus' school uniform. He was so scared. He didn't know what was going on. It was so silent, everything felt so…lifeless. Burrowing his head in Remus' clothes further, he continued to cry, letting Remus' gentle hands smooth and pet his head. The sudden lack of hands brought his attention to Remus to see him writing on something…paper maybe? Holding it out to him, Sirius blinked, looking up at Remus for permission before taking the paper, looking at the words written on it.
I know you're scared, but for now you need to calm down and write what happened. All I know is that a rogue spell shattered your eardrums.
He felt his lips repeating the last three words, and he found it unnerving that he couldn't hear his own voice. Looking at Remus he felt calmed that the other boy was smiling at him, comfortingly, and he suddenly felt a burning need to write everything down. Not just the incident that caused this, but the need to tell Remus he was sorry, that he was ready to stand besides the smaller man and protect him. That he was ready to feel and give support to him.
Not yet, he wanted to tell Remus, not write it, and he wanted to hear Remus respond to his apology. Not through paper and pens, but through words. Sirius would wait forever if need be too.
So, he took the pen and paper, writing down his reply.
Blinding light, Malfoy.
He paused in his writing, even though he hadn't revealed much. A strange thought suddenly entered his head and he bit his lip, hoping to form it into a question.
If you are mute, James is blind, and I am deaf, does that mean we are like those hear no evil, speak no evil, and see no evil Chinese legend? Couldn't be mere coincidence, right?
Handing it back to Remus he watched as the younger man scanned through it, suddenly happy at the end. Did his questions make Remus happy? Why? Sirius waited patiently as Remus continued to write, trying in the mean time to get used to the silence. Maybe, he could try and get used to it. Remus handed the paper back to Sirius when he was done.
I'm glad you thought of that Sirius, because I was thinking about before I came to search for you. I remembered three monkey statues in my father's study, now I don't remember much, but they were in a glass case, meaning they must have been important. I know this may sound strange, but they might hold something important.
Ever since my father showed them to me, I felt connected to them, like somehow, something in the future might bring closer to these three statues. But oddly, I was more intrigued and frightened of the mute monkey. I must have pushed the feeling back the day my father took my voice.
Sirius sat in thought, reading the note over again. Remus was looking at him intently. A sudden question popped up and Sirius scratched it down hurriedly, smiling at his own genius.
That means we have to see those monkey-things. What importance do they hold? Besides importance, it should be more like…er…
He handed it to Remus, who scanned it and wrote his reply, giving it back to Sirius.
Besides holding importance, what else could it hold?
Maybe your father did something bewitching to those monkeys.
Maybe, but he really doesn't have a very good reason if being honest. I know he hates me, and wants nothing more than to hurt me. I just get the feeling something critical is missing.
Like the feeling that one person couldn't have done those things to you.
So, you think an outside force could have been helping him? If so, what did you do to them to make them so mad?
That werewolf guy? My parents like him for some reason.
Sirius. You don't quite understand my connection towards him.
Explain it to me Rem.
My father made him really angry, and in a counter act he bit me when I was playing outside with Romulus.
WHAT? Why? How? Why didn't you say anything before?
Never mattered, but shouldn't you be asking about who Romulus is instead?
Sirius paused in responding, instead began to look at the paper. Man, having everything silent he was sure beginning to think a lot. Sirius wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing, so he took the quill and etched him.
Remus stared at the reply in shock, an unreadable emotion going through his eyes. Sirius stared at the other boy for a moment longer before Remus took the quill, writing down his reply for Sirius to read. The older man took note of how hesitant Remus was to give him the paper, but handed it over anyway. Sirius didn't look at it at first, instead looking at Remus, as if asking for permission. In fact, Sirius had never really heard of Romulus, but from the memory where Remus' father said something about Remus' brother, the name Remus wrote down seemed to click something into place. The younger man gave a brief nod, allowing Sirius to read, and that was exactly what he did.
I'm surprised you know about him. But yes, my father killed him when we were about nine or ten, or maybe younger, I can't really remember. He, my father, never bothered to bury him. In fact, his body is still rotting where it dropped. I suppose I made myself forget about that day, because I couldn't remember any of it until I dreamed about it. But yes, Romulus was my twin, the elder one, in fact.
Remus, I want you to know something.
Every time I go to bed I dream your memories. I don't know why and I don't know how, but I know how your father…hurt you.
So then, you saw one of his sick collars?
How did you know that?
A feeling, that collar did more than keep me from leaving the property, it was a sign that he owned every part of me, and that he could do anything he wanted with it.
Remus, I know I saw a scene like that, but something was off. Do you remember a time where everything seemed normal with him?
How do you figure?
I don't know, just try answering.
Well, when I was five years old my father was in his study, the only time I actually went in there without permission. He looked in pain, so…I think I must have said something because he snapped back. I don't know, I can't remember much except when my mother rested her hands on my shoulders. Something…odd flowed through me, cold, dark tendrils of bad feelings. My father was yelling at her and strangely enough he was covering me.
I think I told him about the feeling I had because he was smiling at me and we spent the whole day in his study, drawing, talking, and generally having fun.
So I was right, on some aspect.
The father in the memory I saw was so…not there.
You noticed it too?
Also, when I was looking at him, I was seeing the strangest of things that I think I forgot about as the memory progressed.
Yup, like someone else was in there with him.
Like an imaginary friend type of person, or someone who was there in real life reflecting in his eyes?
Something fake and something real was there.
Hm, like the person was real in life but was fake in his eyes.
Not that either. Like the person was all around fake, not real in his eyes AND reality.
That feeling of dread when my mother touched me. Like she was unreal.
Sirius set the quill and paper down, lying down completely on the bed, mulling things over. Remus was tired, he could tell, the poor thing must have been waiting up all night for him to wake up. Sirius felt the familiar stab of guilt at their conversation they had had last night. He rejected him, when the young man had been desperate and unsure. Sirius had run away, but strangely enough, he felt no hard feelings towards that wretched conversation. Sirius briefly wondered if being deaf was the punishment he was receiving for hurting someone so pure. A sudden shift next to him and he realized Remus had fallen asleep, slouched over so his arms were on the bed, his head tucked within them.
Sirius smiled at how innocent his friend looked. Taking his own blanket, he draped it over the smaller form, finding no warmth in the object any longer. Smiling at what he accomplished, Sirius went back to his thoughts. He felt so good now that he was able to tell Remus everything, and as he continued to write responses he had become less tense, more willing to let Remus know everything. But he had refrained, finding it better to hear him say his love to Remus rather than writing it. Somehow, Sirius was beginning to think Remus felt relieved that he had not spoken his love through the letter. Sirius got the feeling Remus might have thought he was not worth words, only written things. That was just how the young man was, wanting to know e was loved through expressions, not crappy poems or songs or cards, but through vocals of speech. In fact, Sirius found the insecurity cute.
Without realizing it, Sirius found he was falling asleep too. Yawning loudly, or what he imagined was loud, he closed his eyes, falling into another deep slumber.
The heat was gorgeous, Lily's beautiful body spread beneath him, her moans of pleasure sending shock waves through his body, enticing him, making him want more that their current position.
"…James," she sounded so breathless it was exciting.
He smiled, going further into the acts when…
"James, why are you sleeping on the common room couch?" A voice asked and James turned to their direction, immediately knowing the voice was Lily's, but damn, she definitely didn't sound breathless, meaning.
"I had a dream, but why suddenly calling me James?" He asked, trying to rid himself of the embarrassing images. He didn't want Lily to know that he had been dreaming of her that way, she would run, and that was the last thing he needed. Tapping around his eyes he discovered that his blindfold was no longer on. It must've fallen off in his sleep.
"I don't know, seems right," she responded, and a sudden hand on his arm made him shiver despite himself. "Your blindfold came off; you're holding it right now." James blinked, knowing that if this were an anime he would have question marks appearing above his head. When had he…?
Oh yeah, earlier in the dream he had said something to Lily about looking into his own eyes, not some cover. Now that he thought about it, his dream self probably wanted to entice her more.
"James, if a simple hand on your arm causes you to have an erection, I am truly frightened," she said softly, though her voice held a hint of annoyance. James had the decency to blush at least. Oh shit. His hands shot out of their numb state, immediately going to cover up his throbbing member. Oh how badly he wanted to let it free.
"E-excuse me, Lily," his strained whisper spoke. "Um, I need to go." Getting up, he had meant to run for the bathrooms when a hand stopped him, a very strong hand he noted.
"Take care of it here."
…okay that didn't sound so -WHAT! James swiveled his head around to inquire if she was serious or joking and even though he was blind, James was sure he could feel the aura of sexual need in her gaze as she looked right at him. After all, why would she even bother to look away, when saying something that bold? And was this…turning him on?
No! No, bad James! She is clearly suffering from lack of judgment!
Until something took hold of his groin, stroking it through the cloth. Oh dear god Lily was giving him a hand job…or maybe a blow job…or both. James smiled despite himself. Oh Lily, that crazy girl.
"I think I can do that," he responded to her earlier suggestion. Pulling her to him he kissed her deeply, feeling the soft lips against his. Oh, it was everything he dreamed about. Grab her backside with a quick squeeze, he took advantage of her gasp to delve deeper into her mouth, leaving no where untouched. Why did he seem so desperate again? Oh yeah, because he might wake up at any moment.
He moved her slightly, landing them both on the couch with a hard kick to himself, and he was reaching everywhere his fingers could reach. Breaking the kiss, he brought out her tucked in shirt, his hands feeling everywhere. Was this for real? Of course not!
Lily moaned, and he silently was thanking whatever god had not bestowed the unfortunate curse of being deaf on him. I mean that was Sirius' gig, just like Remus was blind, and he was silent…almost exactly like the Chinese legend. James' dull eyes widened and he stopped his ministrations.
Oh my god, Sirius. He was the only one left.
And with that thought, James woke up from his slumber, ungracefully running out of the dorms and out the common room (though not before running strait into the wall).
He was scared he was going to run into something but Sirius' voice was suddenly filling his head, so sure, like when he took on the duty of leading James around for the first time.
James nearly screeched to a halt, unsure of what was going on, but his fingers reached out, immediately recognizing the oak design under his fingertips; the Hospital Wing. Opening the doors, he walked in, feeling a vague comfort as Lily's voice filled his head this time.
Go on Potter, keep walking
Towards the end
You're a good listener Potter, you can stop now
And so he did. Looking around he noticed that eyes were gazing at him and a warm feeling immediately washed over him. Like, whenever he sees his mother and father waiting for him, to see their smiling after what felt like years. It was the same feeling, only…more brotherly, like he was going to be protected and loved and in return does the same. Not that he wouldn't do that already, James mused, but this had a deep bond attached as well.
Reaching forward, his hand met another. This one was very small compared to his, but had a sense of even greater strength. When did he start feeling these things? It suddenly clicked and an image flashed through his head.
Remus was touching his hand, as if telling a silent promise that he wasn't alone. But just in case.
"Remus?" Why did his voice sound so…weird? Unsure and insecure? The fingertips tightened around his own, and the blood underneath pulsed.
It was Remus, always the silent strength of the Marauders.
"Hey to you too James," another voice cut in. James turned to the voice, which seemed to be a little higher than normal, but still familiar.
"Sirius, I think I…" A sudden, rough hand covered his mouth. This one was bigger than Remus' and it immediately shut him up.
"I don't want you to say something cryptic or funny," Sirius informed voice louder than normal. "Because I'd miss out, unable to hear and all." James knew he was gaping now, with the way his mouth fell open, he could feel how ridiculous he must have looked. A soft chuckle from Remus' direction confirmed that.
(A/N: Remember that even if you are mute, you can still make noises in your throat, so a chuckle does count people.)
"I-I'm really sorry Siri, I wish I could have stopped it," he said softly, letting Remus' hand guide him to the chair next to him. James recalled that Remus had never really let go. A few moments of silence before Sirius took hold of a quill and parchment, writing down his answer on that.
"Don't worry James," he replied, his voice still loud. "You have no time to think about it anyway. We're going to a dinner party." James looked in his direction, the question marks appearing above his head. He could feel Remus' nervousness as he kept shifting in his seat.
"When do we leave," he responded at last, and a shaky breath to his side was the reply.
"Remus says immediately." James didn't even want to ask how Remus was speaking, so he only nodded, the familiar butterflies in his gut alerting him. If this was over Remus' house, he had no reason to worry right? Still…
James couldn't help but feel like he was going to his own death.
I realize that this may not be the best way to communicate with you, but it is the best I can do. I deserve no right to ask forgiveness from you, nor do I have any right to demand that you read this. She will not allow you too anyway. I hope that during this party you will somehow stumble upon this, but you are a smart boy, I'm sure I can count on you to read this.
Your voice is in the statues in front of this letter, destroying them will make everything normal for you and your friends.
I ask that you do not worry about me or your mother, I'm afraid that information would only hurt you. In response to your anger my young son, all I can say is that I am terribly sorry if I wronged you, which I know I have. Believe this letter if you wish, but it would be in your best interest.
I, your father, am truly sorry for any pain I have caused within you. Though I know it would not be enough.
As soon as the last word was written, John put the pen away, taking the letter and flipping over to join the other papers on the desk. If more than anything, he knew that Remus would find it; his son was a bright young man. John buried his head in his hands for a few more minutes, cursing his shaking limbs.
In a couple hours, everything he had been dreading could come true. Letting his hands drop back to his sides he almost growled when the door opened, and Anya's fake walked in. She had that damned smile on her face, while her sun dress seemed to shine on her. Everyone would comment that she was beautiful, but he knew better. He always knew better.
"Are you ready for the party John?" She asked, fixing her hair in the mirror.
"Butt out woman, you already know my answer," he growled. She turned to him, a wicked smile on her face.
"I'm trying to calm you dear husband, it's not everyday that you kill your son," she commented, going back to putting little decorations in her hair. He sighed, folding his arms on the desk and leaning slightly into them. She was humming a tune, twirling in front of the mirror to check every bit of herself.
How innocent of her.
John refrained from making a biting comment, instead, settling to his thoughts over the dinner party that was no doubt going to arrive sooner than needed.
John couldn't help the feeling of absolute dread that filled him.
-Dinner Party: Part Two-
Sirius' silent world was beginning to get annoying. This was especially the case when Remus, James, and he were all sitting on the couch in Remus' house, sitting in the middle of a heated conversation between the Malfoy's and many other pureblood members. In fact, the Minister Fudge was there, laughing heartily to their antics. Not that Sirius could hear it anyway. But that was what annoyed Sirius the most, is the fact that he could see everyone's gums flapping in talk but he couldn't hear a thing. Though, with the look on James and Remus' face, he thought it might be best that way.
"The last of the guests should be arriving soon enough," John Lupin said, and Remus noted briefly, he looked annoyed and…sad? Shaking it off he continued to look ahead, completely ignoring all of the talk and giggles and the pointless sounds of tea cups clanking on the little plates, as the crumpets were practically inhaled by Crabbe and Goyle, children included. Shuddering, he returned to his thoughts for only a moment before his mother came in, smiling pathetically. He couldn't help but feel the pang of guilt entering his heart. Letting out a weary sigh, he continued to brood.
James was, despite earlier forced enthusiasm, positively livid. Not only was he forced to participate in these stupid conversations, but he was silently snickered at when they thought he wasn't listening. He was indeed very angry. Of course, he could have denied this wretched party, but seeing as Remus was forced, and Sirius didn't want to leave his boyfriend (were they still broken up, James briefly wondered), James felt obligated to go with his two best mates. Despite being blind, he could almost imagine the looks his two other friends sported.
John Lupin, on the other side of the room, was about to cry with panic. The dinner party was half way over, all the guests having dinner, except the late ones of course. Now, after they all had their fill of talk, would be the time for them to go home, and then he would commit another murder. More like murders. He glanced in the direction of his son and his two friends, feeling the guilt rearing back again. He still had no control over his body, but his mind nearing its cloudy state. Urg, he hated the bitch more than life itself. But, along with his guilt, the distinct of panic was settling over him, as Remus was making no movement, staying completely stationary. He had to do something, or his son would never find the letter in the study.
Anya Lupin, or for her personal name, Anxius, was gleaming, her excitement seeming to seep through her carefully constructed walls. She still had to act pathetic in front of her son after all. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Remus and the tall dark haired man share a pointed look, in which the latter quickly smiled in reassurance. It intrigued her more to see her son flinch and look away, blushing at the action. Shaking her head, she added something into the conversation before going to her thoughts again. In fact, despite her own smugness, she had gotten increasingly worried about the party, especially discovering how Sirius was able to get into Remus' thoughts. She had been thoroughly alarmed to find that he had seen a lot of Remus' memories, especially when she didn't even know it happened. Though, discovering that it wasn't anything critical, her worry receded mostly, but some of it remained. Smiling weakly in assurance to herself, she shook the thoughts out, going back to the conversation.
Remus looked up, feeling his mothers gaze on him, but seeing nothing he went back to his thoughts. He needed to get out of this room, everyone staring at him in hopes that he would do something embarrassing. Standing up, he cast a quick glance at his mother before walking down the hall, hoping to get to the bathroom or something, any room besides the one he was just occupying.
Sirius watched him leave with apprehension, a sort of 'don't leave me' sort of look going through his expression before going blank again. However, as soon as his head dropped in thought, the doorbell rang, only to be accompanied by a quick set of knocks. The guests went silent, and even Sirius could feel the change in atmosphere. He briefly wondered who it could be before Remus' father swept up from his seat, opening the door with fake happiness. Sirius watched with heated attention, as the people at the door greeted his friend's father. James was looking in the direction of the door too, though his blindfolded eyes wouldn't give him access to sight. Sirius glanced in his direction before going back…only to have his gut plummet.
There in the doorway was his mother, father, and brother, all smirking at him.
Remus wandered through the halls, looking at anything to clear his mind. How he hated this house, how he hated it with a passion. Shaking his head he continued until he stopped, staring critically at the door at the very back: his father's study. Taking a brief look around, he entered, taking a seat at the soft cushioned couch in the corner. Letting out a happy breath, he began to relax, enjoying the comforting silence that surrounded him. This was by far much better than the main room. Casting a glance around the room again, he closed his eyes, letting all of his wayward thoughts fall silent.
Why are they here why are they here why are they here?
Sirius stared at his family's faces with a mixture of shock and fear. He thought he would never have to see them again, especially with that very uplifting run away attempt that got him his own flat. Shivering, he was for once blessing for not being able to hear, as he noticed their lips moving in his direction. However, on further notice, he noticed that it might have been a question about him, seeing as Remus' father answered. Sirius stared at their silent conversation before getting up, muttering in his opinion, about going to the bathroom.
Where was that anyway?
Sirius closed the door of the living room behind him, walking through the hallway. Looking into each room he frowned, noting that the bathroom was no where on this floor. Did they even have a bathroom? Sirius chided himself silently, proving that inquisition was pointless and ridiculous. His gaze went to the very back room, where the doorway was closed.
Please go in there.
What was that?
Please look on the desk.
Okay, Sirius hated the random voices that seemed to appear.
Please read the letter.
Letter? What letter? Where was this letter? Sirius cocked his head to the side, finding that his feet were taking him to the room anyway. Walking forward, his hand reached out, fingertips brushing over the door knob. Biting his lip he opened the door, noticing that it didn't squeak at all. Meaning it was used a lot. Sirius stepped forward, curious as to what was on the desk. Sirius cast a quick glance around the room, until his eyes landed on the curled up lump on the couch. Hesitantly he walked over, hoping it wasn't an attack dog or something. However, when the blanket was removed, his gaze softened when his eyes met Remus' peacefully sleeping face.
Carefully, so as not to awaken the boy, he sat down, bringing Remus into his lap, humming soft tunes to the young werewolf. Grinning at the small smile Remus began to wear, he continued to hum, his fingers ghosting over Remus' hair, marveling at how soft it was. Looking up, his eyes wandered over to the desk, where three monkey statues sat, a folded piece of paper in front of it. Cocking his head to the side in confusion, he slowly crept off the couch after putting Remus back down.
Picking up the letter Sirius turned it over about once or twice before deeming it safe. Folding it open his eyes ghosted over it before shaking his head, feeling this was personal. Sirius fingered it briefly before making up his mind and pocketing it.
Remus should read this later, when he's awake Sirius thought, going back over to his earlier spot on the couch, continuing to pet his friend until he fell into a light sleep.
James, despite many accusations, was not the type of person to bitch. In fact, he only did that when he was alone, and in public, when things didn't go his way, he would whine. Big difference. So, when it came time to whine, his first sentence would always be something along the lines of 'I'm not bitching Sirius, I'm whining' and then he would proceed to tell why he was bit-whining. This particular occasion called for silent acts of displeasure, seeing as anything vocal would be tossed back at him with a laugh.
So, his main topic was, of course, where the fuck did his friends run off to? Why hadn't they come back yet? And, most importantly, why didn't they take him along damn it?
Like it stated before, those were only the top reasons for his whining.
Oh, and James was now ready to scream bloody murder if the annoying talk of Ministry affairs didn't quite soon. Would it be alright if he ripped his ears off? Also said before, James knew this would be a bad idea, but had kept quiet as support to his friends. Well, now that those friends were gone, he had the right to leave of course. And he was too, until a voice asked him a question.
"What do you think the Ministry should do, Mr. Potter?" It asked. James looked up in the direction of the voice, multiple questions going through his head. Mr. Potter? Who said his name like that? What are they talking about? What's a Ministry? ...Oh yeah.
"Er, they should take the action that, ah -ahem, take the action that was…original," he finished lamely. A few soft chuckles followed his statement. James, being the better person, decided to keep his mouth shut from snapping at the people. Really he had no right, he did answer sort of stupidly.
"Odd, I thought you would choose Werewolf rights," the voice said in response.
"Huh?" He asked, clearly not paying attention.
"The Ministry," okay, James knew that was Fudge's voice, "has been mulling over werewolf rights for a while now. Many people do not like it because Werewolves shouldn't have the right to be walking in our presence.
"Well that isn't right," James responded, almost immediately. "Werewolves are people too, you can't even begin to imagine how much pain they are put through on the full moon, and then continued to get beaten down in a month's time where they should be recovering and preparing for the next full moon."
A soft chuckle. "They hurt people though," a female voice was commenting. "You would rather have people die?" James scowled at how stupid these people were sounding. Instead he sighed, leaning back in his chair.
"That is why we take precautions on the full moon," he said, putting emphasis on his last two words. "You shouldn't treat them like dirt and keep them off the streets when they aren't even doing anything wrong. Before condemning them to a life full of cruel taunts and restrictions, think about the solution that would benefit everyone, including werewolves."
A moment of silence before Fudge was speaking. "Though, they aren't even people, monsters." James growled low in his throat.
"Okay Fudge, what were you always teased about at school?" James asked.
"Well, I was a bit on the pudgy side," he responded. James refrained from saying anything rude.
"Okay, well fatty, you don't deserve to walk the streets you repulsive pig, because you are the slightest bit different from everyone else," James, earning a horrid gasp from everyone. "Do you really want to be treated like that for something you can't control?"
"Well no but-," Fudge began.
"No, I'm not done," James said. "Mrs. Malfoy, you rotten filth, clean up the dung from your face or stop looking the way you don't you unnatural freak." Multiple 'how dare you' were being tossed around, oh but James was far from being done.
"How about, Mr. Black," James began. "Your 'holier-than-thou' attitude is completely unnatural, you should really stop that you disgusting pile of rat shit. We don't want you seen around public because of your ways. So, because we all hate that there is even the slightest thing wrong with you, we're going to sign a petition that claims you are no longer allowed to be seen shopping."
James grinned at how much of a genius he is.
"It doesn't feel good does it?" He began loudly, really getting in the mood. "To be treated like you are lower than everyone because the way you are, the way you look, or even the way you act is slipping you down to a level below anything. Besides, what you all seem to be unable to grasp is that werewolves are people too."
With that, he walked out, feeling very accomplished until he ran into a wall in the hallway.
"Damn walls, we should have them banned," he muttered, continuing on.
The first thing that registered in Remus' sleep fogged mind was that he was no longer in the living room like he thought, nor was he in a place that wasn't off limits. Sitting up, he even realized that he had been sleeping his ex-boyfriends lap. He fell asleep? When? Squashing the immediate panic down, he thought through the events to the point.
Oh yeah. Now Remus recalled everything, which did well on his nerves at least. Looking around he spotted that Sirius was still asleep, looking quite peaceful in his position. Remus bit his bottom lip, shaking his friend awake. He knew he should leave the other one asleep but they were in a bad room to be in.
His father got pissy when people went into his study.
A low noise from the other man, and a pair of grey-blue eyes on him made him smile slightly. Great, the sooner they got out of there the better. Of course, nothing ever went like Remus wanted, so as soon Sirius was beginning to collect his bearings, the door opened only slightly. The werewolf felt that panic getting into his system again and he swallowed hard, prepared for a beating.
However, after several minutes, there were no loud threats, no bruises about to be formed, nothing but a few moments more of silence. Until, the person at the door spoke of course.
"Hey, is anyone in here? Sorry to interrupt anything, I swear, I can't see a thing," James' voice whispered, sounding anxious. Remus, for the second time in two minutes, sagged in relief, all of the panic disappearing.
"James? That you?" Sirius groggy voice said.
Remus smiled at the bright grin on the other mans features and James walked into the room clicking the door shut.
"Guys, thank god I found you, can't believe you abandoned me like that!" James huffed, looking irritated. Sirius must have noticed the look on the mans face because he laughed nervously.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly. Remus had to give Sirius points for being able to respond correctly without actually hearing anything. James seemed just as relieved because he let a small smile tug at his lips. After a few moments of silence, Sirius stiffened next to Remus and grinned at him, reaching into his pocket and taking out a folded piece of paper.
"I think it's for you," he grinned. James cocked his head to the side, curious.
"What is?" He asked, coming forward.
Remus reached up, pulling James' fingers to brush over every part of the folded paper.
"A letter," he responded sounding sure. Remus made a noise in his throat, hoping it would confirm James' answer. It seemed to work, because James sat on the floor in front of him, anxious.
Remus unfolded the letter, looking it over, his gaze softening as he went on. However they hardened again, a brief sense of anger reaching him. Growling low in his throat, he continued, a flash of confusion in his features before he looked up again, Sirius' gaze following his towards the three monkey statues.
"What did the letter say Remus?" James asked after a while. Remus pointed to the three monkey statues, motioning something breaking with his hands. Sirius nodded, turning to James.
"The letter said to break the monkey statues," he said, looking at Remus who nodded.
"Why?" James asked. Sirius looked at Remus, who motioned to his throat, Sirius' ears, and James sight.
"They have my hearing, Remus' voice, and your sight," Sirius translated, hoping he got it right. A nod from Remus confirmed it. James smiled suddenly, jumping from his position in front of the other two.
"Let's get to breaking then!"
Everything was going perfectly, and Anxius couldn't be happier about this, except for the one tiny slip that was making her even angrier by the second. Remus, her wretched "son", had disappeared and hadn't come back. At first, she was alright with it, having the thoughts along the lines of 'he's just going to the bathroom', but a half an hour later and the brown haired twit was no where to be seen.
The second thing that bothered her was the fact that Remus' little bitch went running away after John had greeted his parents at the door. She hadn't worried about that, he couldn't have gotten far, and she knew that he would not leave Remus alone in the vicinity of the house. Anyway, that was all twenty minutes ago.
The third thing, and this event made Anxius positively livid, was that Remus' second little toy went running off after making that rather inspiring speech. She, again, hadn't been too worried since she had a rather strong feeling that the only he came in the first place was to support his two friends. She finally realized a little too late that now all three of them were out of her sight, and she didn't want to know what the three were doing. Well, the third brat left about five minutes ago.
The fourth that pissed her off was the fact that her hold over John's body was slipping. This happened only when she had a lot on her mind, and right now, she had a lot on her mind. He was talking to her, almost in a distracting way, and keeping conversation up so she couldn't just slip out. This angered even further.
Finally, one of the guests spoke up.
"It is getting rather late, John, Anya, we should be going," so it was Malfoy that spoke. John nodded, leading them to the door and the Blacks were following behind. They all bid their goodbyes and finally, after the last guest filtered out, Anxius turned swiftly to her husband.
"Find them," she hissed. With a curt nod, he headed down the hall, while she took the upstairs. She was beginning to hate how that hallway led to the upstairs too. Growling, she continued her search.
"I don't know about you guys but I don't think I want to break them," Sirius said. Remus and James stood beside him, and they were nodding their approval. Of course, James was on his way to destroying the deaf monkey when a weird sense of dread came over him, and he buckled out of the job. Remus had also tried, but images of the impending torture by his father caused him to back. Finally, that left Sirius to try. The other two were looking at him (well, in his direction from James' standpoint) and waiting for him to make a move.
"Don't be a baby Siri, just do it," James prodded, meaning to push him but it ended up being Remus. The smallest of the trio growled in warning and James stopped. "Whoa, sorry man thought you were Siri." Remus shrugged, and Sirius took the liberty to translate.
"He doesn't care, just don't do it again," he said. Sighing at last he stepped forward, but a feeling of nervousness took over and he quit what he was doing, going back to standing next to Remus and James.
"Did you do it?" James asked.
"Nope, strange feeling of being nervous came over me," Sirius replied. They all took a long sigh, and plopped down on the couch. Remus reached over, grabbing a pen and paper, beginning to write stuff down. Handing it to Sirius, he sighed again.
"There must be magic around it, since none of us are able to break it," Sirius read aloud, looking in thought. James bit his lip, running a hand through his already messy spikes.
"Well then, how do we break the spell?" He asked.
A moment of silence overtook them before the door opened loudly and John Lupin stepped in, looking angry.
"You don't," he growled. Remus visibly paled, his body began to shake. Sirius had no clue what the man said, but took the liberty to hiding Remus the best he could. James stood up, putting himself between everyone in the room.
"Remus, I thought I told you on multiple occasions that this area was off limits," he hissed, closing the door softly behind him.
Remus froze as the foreign thought crossed his mind.
Please destroy the statues, please Remus, I don't want to hurt you anymore.
Remus' shaking stopped and he looked over at his father, the angry man before him was still steaming with anger and Remus couldn't help but feel that was unreal. Sirius and James, however, were convinced that the man was evil.
I can help you.
Help me then, I can't destroy them on my own.
A sudden movement caught his attention and his father had slammed his fist into one of the statues. Sirius gasped suddenly, covering his ears. James looked behind him, startled at the pained gasp that erupted behind him.
"Sirius? Are you okay?" James asked. Sirius blinked once, twice, and three times for good measure. He could…hear everything. Sirius uncovered his ears, wincing at the flow of sounds that came at him.
"I'm fine James," he responded softly. "I can hear…everything."
"And that will be the last of the damage," another voice interrupted. Remus watched cautiously as his mother entered the room, a sneer on her features. Sirius looked up at her and frowned, questions running through his head.
"Anxius, go, I can handle everything here," John said to her, to which she frowned.
"Clearly you can't, else all three of these brats would be dead by now," she snarled, slamming her fist into the side of John's face. He grunted, stumbling back into the mirror, holding his bruising cheek.
"Mrs. Lupin, I thought-," Sirius started. He was so confused, what was going on? Remus' eyes kept darting to his father and back to his mother, as if unsure which side he should be on.
"You thought wrong, Sirius, and I never imagined that you would be able to break into Remus' memories the way you did," Anxius said softly, almost scolding her for making such a stupid mistake. "And after all my work, it was about to collapse because your pointless meddling."
"I thought Mr. Lupin was the bad guy," James spoke in suddenly. Sirius shot him a pointed look.
"He is, after all, he was the one that raped, beat, and even scarred poor Remus," she continued, relishing in the shudder Remus gave. "However, surely a completely sane man could not slip that fast."
"She is nothing more than a doll," John suddenly cut in. "A failed attempt from Anya to make this family happy again. Before she died, she knew the strain it would put on me when she died, so she attempted to make things right…it backfired. And this thing was created."
Remus choked suddenly. Mama, she died and I didn't even know? Why?
"All the bitter thoughts ran into this doll and thus, she was created," he continued, setting himself upright, clutching the aching cheek. "Anxius is a living form of hatred."
"Creepy isn't it," she commented. Remus shuddered, and he suddenly withdrew his wand from his pocket, looking at it. He couldn't say a spell, no doubt about that, so really, it was pointless. Sighing he set it down again.
"I think Remus deserves a chance to speak," John muttered softly.
"Shut it John, I know you want to give him his voice back," she snarled. John reacted the next moment, both hands flying separate directions. Anxius gasped, reeling from the shove while the sound of something breaking echoed in everyone's ears. Remus blinked, trying to catch himself up to the events.
"What just happened?" He rasped. John smiled, feeling accomplished. Sirius spun on his foot, smiling at his friend.
"Your voice is back, that's what happened," he said excitedly.
"Remus, I am sorry for everything I have done," he spoke softly, his wand drawing out. "It was your mothers wish that the three of us were to live happily. I ruined it, along with this puppet. I can't erase what I have done, and I ask that you never forgive me, somehow, it wouldn't feel right."
Remus nodded despite himself.
The green flash of light erupted from his wand in a hiss, quickly feeding off the person it was directed too. Even James was shielding his eyes on instinct.
Remus slowly looked up, dreading the worst. Sirius swallowed thickly, looking at the two unmoving bodies in front of him. Remus' amber eyes were staring, his body and eyes unmoving. He had gone into utter shock. Sirius looked at the desk, where all three statues laid in ruins, the last probably knocked off on accident. Looking over he noticed that James had undone the bandages and he was looking at the two bodies.
"Pa, dad, papa," Remus muttered. "Why is he not moving? Why is he, why pale? Why can't I hate him?"
"Remus don't look," Sirius demanded, pulling Remus to him and picking him up, the younger man so light in his arms. Gingerly he walked over Anxius's body, stepping into the hall. He looked over his shoulder, where James was standing, his eyes glued to the scene.
"Damn it James, floo Dumbledore and tell him what happened," he growled. James seemed to snap out of his daze and he ran to the living room, intending to get to the fireplace. Sirius set Remus down in the hallway, kneeling right in front of the shell shocked teen.
"Remus, I need you to look at me," Sirius cooed gently. Remus' amber eyes looked at him, the gentle orbs beginning to fill with tears. "Remus come here, you need to cry, come here." Sirius pulled the younger man onto lap, feeling vaguely relieved that Remus began to bury into him, his frame shaking.
"I shouldn't, I-I should be mad, w-why do I want him alive?" Remus cried, his voice muffled in the folds of Sirius' shirt.
"Because he was your dad, no matter what he did, it is natural to feel sad," Sirius said gently. "What he did to you far all those years, they were bad, but you still had a love for him somewhere for him. It's okay to cry, because, you must also feel sad because you are alone."
Remus nodded gently.
"He's always been there," Remus sobbed. "I feel alone now."
"Nobody likes to be alone," Sirius said softly, petting Remus' hair gently. "So it's okay Remus, its okay to feel sad."
Sirius waited for a couple moments before looking down at his friend, smiling when he noticed Remus was sleeping. Looking up he saw James coming down the hall, still looking a little pale.
"I told Dumbledore everything, he said that he would be here soon," James said softly, collapsing next to Sirius. "They were so pale Sirius, gods, I'm scared." Sirius nodded, wrapping an arm his best friend in a comforting gesture.
They stayed like that until Dumbledore came, looking worried.
We still have the Epilogue, but besides that, this is technically the last chapter. I hoped you all liked it, and I hope my info part answered any questions. I am deleting two of my stories once this is posted, so say goodbye to the unlucky two. 8D