Unfortunately, none of the characters, locations, song lyrics etc belongs to me. I wish they did as I'd be rich by now, but there you go!
David: Someone remind me, why are we here?
Ed: We didn't invite you .Go home if you like.
Shaun: We're here to have some fun!
David: Oh yes, I forgot. Anything 'fun' for you has to happen at The Winchester.
Shaun leads the gang into the Winchester, his one time safe haven against the living dead. Over the noise of the jukebox and various sad middle aged men with nowhere better to go, a voice is heard.
John: Ladies, Gentlemen erm… Zombies, names and songs in the hat please. First one I pick out is first up to the mike. Yes people, It's that time again; Karaoke Night!
David: Oh great! Singing! My favourite ahem past time.
Dianne: But you're always singing in the shower Daffs. Remember yesterday when I came home and you were singing 'Ladies night?'
David: Thank you very much Dianne. (Mumbles under his breath incoherently)…ladies night…was not…stupid…squeaky voice…silly green hat…
John: Right you lucky people, first to the stage we have…insert random name here
Shaun: I wanted to go first!
Liz: Don't be such a baby!
In the background the music starts up followed shortly by random person singing 'I Will Survive.'
Phillip: Not this crap again!
Ed: Who put this on?
Shaun: It's on random…I mean…karaoke…
Dianne: Oh I love this song!
David: …likes I Will Survive…bad taste…failed actress…
Liz: What was that David?
David: Nothing Lizzie. And may I say how wonderful you're looking tonight.
David attempts to look suave. He fails. Miserably.
John: Well what a start to the evening! Let's see if (pulls name out of hat)… Ed can top that performance.
Ed saunters onto the stage, picking up the mike and waving to his friends…and David.
Ed: Prepare to be blown away!
There's laughter from the crowd as Ed pulls off his jacket to reveal a tight pink t-shirt (a la Mike in 'Spaced') and starts to sing.
Ed: (Singing-if you can call it that!) Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?
Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?
All except Shaun sit with mouths wide open, not quite sure where to look. After years of being friends with Ed, Shaun is used to scary sights like this.
Ed: Don't cha
John: Well that was…interesting…
Ed: I've not finished!
John: I think you have mate!
Ed joins the others, his face almost as red as Shaun's shirt after Z-Day.
John: Moving swiftly on. Next up we have…Liz.
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
I think they're O.K
If they don't give me proper credit
I just walk away…
Barbara: Elizabeth's quite good at singing, isn't she Shaun?
Shaun is off in his own world, watching Liz on the stage.
Liz: (singing) We are living in a material world and I am a material girl.