Today is another day in the lie that calls itself Ginerva Weasley. Another day of containing the bloody lie that consumes every moment of my godforsaken life. It is not easy to hide my mind from the endless line of older brothers in which I was 'blessed' with at birth. But being the cunning little fox I am I put the front up that I have some hopeless schoolgirl crush on Harry Potter. "The boy-who-lived" He is the best friend of the youngest of my brothers, Ronald Weasley. Nobody even suspects the slightest of my dirty little secret. Nope, everybody is too focused on Ron and trying to get him to confess his love to his other best friend, Hermione Granger.
You see that is acceptable crush in the eyes of our family and peers. Mine is, well to put it bluntly; Percy wouldn't be the black sheep of the family anymore. I would be shunned by three-thirds of my school's population. Maybe even disowned by certain members of my family who do not understand where I am coming from. The best thing that would happen is that those who found out would never look at me the same; I'd always get those looks of disgust no matter where I went.
I do not know of how these feelings came into being, but I can recall the night that it hit me full force. It happened back in the summer between third and fourth year, while I was staying at Sirius Black's house. He would come by the house briefly in his usual robes, but the clothes he would wear. My mind still races thinking about them. His shirts, normally black, would always have the first few buttons undone so that bits of his chest would be visible. He caught me staring at him more than a few times, and each time his face would feature the, for lack of a better word, hottest smirk in history. You know the one that says, 'I know your secret and I can make your life miserable'. It just made me want him so much more!
Four years later and I have been all but cured of that setback in my love life. I still keep up my front, but I hate having to lie to myself all the time. Since this is my last year at Hogwarts, I plan on making it memorable. After this year I will probably never see him again, and I'd like to take any opportunities available for possible 'alone-time'. Even though the possibly of that happening is slim to zero, it still exists (in my mind at least).
I'm not horribly ugly, actually quite the opposite. I have many admirers and I've been complicated on my looks on many different occasions. I have a nice curvy shape, one that most boys have been caught drooling over. My hair also helps to my advantage, it has just the right bounce, and it's red. Honestly, name one guy who hasn't fantasized about a redhead? Okay, I know that my looks have nothing to do with the situation that I am in. Actually, it is our age difference. To put this as simple as possible, he's old enough to be my father. Oh, a couple more things to add to the pie: I'm only seventeen, and he's my teacher.
Early in the morning, before anybody is awake enough to notice anything, I always make sure to catch his attention one way or another. Anything from a sexy little walk past him at the Professor's table (and I see him looking even though his nose is ten feet in the air) to a seductive glance from across the room. There's also my advanced NEWT level Potions class that I have even more time to spend with him. Only a very few students are welcomed into it, and it is even more rare for a Gryffindor to be invited to sign-up. Not only does that help me get his attention, but also being the top of the class factors in to. Maybe one day he'll ask me to stay after and help him with a complex potion, or maybe I should do something to cause a scene and have him keep me after for a detention.
It seems like when I'm in class I'm the only one that is not dragging my feet through the door, including the Slytherins. I suppose that it's hard enough being in the hardest class in the school, but it makes it worse that it is directly after breakfast. You just have to pray to God that you woke up early enough to get a decent breakfast, but not so early that he catches you yawning in his classroom.
I sit at the back of the room so that nobody will be able to see me. You see, in the class that I attend is a bit more strict than the required ones. Compared to this class, he is a very laid back and casual guy. In this one I only need two words to describe him: Drill Sargent. You so much as look at something other than him, your work, or the board and there is no telling what sort of punishment he'll come up with, just for you. When he walks around the class checking on everybody, I fixate my eyes on him, just on him. There's still a chance that he'll catch me when he's focused on the other students. He does, every now and then he'll look back towards me and see me staring at him, licking my lips, and I know he knows exactly what is going through my head.
During class I love to play a little game with him which I started at the beginning of the school year. I know it is a childish prank, but I cannot help it. I have needs! I have desires! There are some things that somebody like me is not able to control, no matter how hard she tries. When he is in front of my desk checking on me, or lecturing me for something minor, I always knock his want out of his hands with a silent charm I read from a book that I borrowed from Hermione last year. I know he knows it is me that always casts it, but he has no proof. Also, I don't even look at him when it flies out of his hands. I am actually quite nonchalant about the whole thing. It is when he bends over to pick it up when my attention in focused directly in front of me. I'm not breaking in rules by doing so; I'm looking only at him. Well, more like a certain part of him. A very nice, firm part of him that I want to touch so very bad.
When he stands up from his little wand slipup he always got up and leaned over my desk, looking me directly in the eyes. I know that he can see exactly what is going through my head, but he just smirks at me and walks away. You know what, that is because he is a big tease. That's right, I said it: Severus Snape is a fucking tease!
When he looks at me with that smirk, my desire to have him intensifies greatly. So much that I would take him right now on this desk if I could. I can tell he knows that, I can see the laughter in his eyes at the very though of it. I also know that if caught we both could get into a shit-load of trouble. It would be the end of his career, and mine. (And I haven't even started one yet!) But then there's the part of me that wants to do it anyway, "Screw the danger!" It screams, "And him as well."
A few months into the school year I realized that he knew about my 'little' crush on him. I was walking alone in the hallways, patrolling them like a good little prefect, and I came across him. I was turning the corner, heading back to my common room, because my duties were over, and I was dead tired. I guess he was turning the same corner at the same time because we bumped into each other. My head hit his chest, and I tensed up. His body felt so amazing pressed up against mine. I froze, not being able to move, and I heard him laugh. His laugh was nothing like my father's, the type that seems to bubble up from inside of him. His laugh was mocking, and his smirk stretched across his face afterwards.
The exact moment that I figured out he knew came shortly after. He bent down and I could feel his breath on my neck. It sent shivers throughout my whole body, and he knew it. He learned the effect he had on me and make sure to torture me every moment we had alone. But still I wanted, craved, no needed those moments alone with him. I knew that one day I would just pounce on him and he wouldn't be able to control the things I would do to his body.
he worst part of the day happens at lunchtime, when my class with him comes to an end. I put on a mask, pretending that I'm thrilled to get out of his class and go back into the realm of reality. But he knows I'm lying, and I know he knows. I do it to protect myself; I cannot have people going around with this knowledge in their heads. Who knows what will come of it? Still, I always make sure to stay back, pretending I am missing something. I don't have any friends in this class, so nobody notices (or if they do, nobody says anything). Every day that Potions ends, I close my eyes and pray that he'll have finally come up with something to keep me after class. But this day is like every other one, and again I am at the door with hardly a glance from him. Blast him and his bloody effect on me.
"Miss Weasley, please return to your desk."
Okay, that has to be a good sign. He waited until the rest of the class left, so nobody knows that I am here. That's brilliant! I do a sexy little strut back to my desk, hoping that it is not in vain. When I do return to my spot, I looked up and noticed him pointing his wand towards the door and putting it back into his pocket. Our eyes lock and he walks towards me, slowly unbuttoning his shirt while he walks casually towards me. I've either gone completely psychotic, or I've finally seduced my teacher. Well, technically he's seducing me. Eh, either way works for me.
"I said return to your desk Miss Weasley, I never once gave you permission to be at your chair." He stands less than a few inches away from me, folding his arms across his chest, smirking at the suggestion he just gave me.
I try to stay calm, telling myself to breath in and out, normally, while I stand up slowly and take a seat on top of the desk. "So I can't sit at my chair, but I can sit on top of my desk then, correct?"
"Actually that idea isn't half bad." His eyes lit up as he closed the gap between us and leaned down into me, running his hands slowly across my body. I bite my lip trying to keep the gasp from leaving my lips from the excitement he is stirring inside of me. But the moment he reaches one particular area I can't help myself, and a moan escapes me. His hands feel so good against my body.
"Having fun Miss Weasley?"
Of shite, it was a dream! I cannot believe I just feel asleep in class, and what is with that smirk on his face? Wait a minute, he put that into my head. It was all part of his evil plot to cause my downfall! He had to have put it there, no other dream I've had has ever felt so real. I can still feel faint traces of his hands on my body. Merlin, I've bloody snapped!
What's worse, I know he did it, I know it was on purpose, and I now want him so much more. He just embarrassed me in front of the class, who knows how much of that I said out loud. I can tell you that there is no way that I will be asking anybody about it anytime soon. I did nothing to him to deserve such tricks played on me. I keep my desires at bay, and I am at the fucking top of his most advanced class! He'll pay for that mistake; somehow I'll get him back!
I going to have a little talk with a certain Potions Professor once class lets out. What he just did to me was cruel, especially since I can no longer focus on class, or really anything anymore. I bet he is over there at his desk laughing his head off at my expense. He is such a basted!
"Class dismissed, be sure to…" Blah, blah, blah…Everybody just get their arses out of this bloody classroom or I'll dismember all of you, and that'll be if you're lucky. Yeah, so I've probably flipped a wee bit, sue me.
Look at him sitting all casually at his desk, pretending like nothing just happened. What a sick freak!
"Listen Snape, we need to talk."
"That's Professor Snape to you, and no we do not need to talk. You might want to talk to me right now, but I have no desire to do so with you. Off to lunch or wherever you're headed next."
The nerve! "No! I will not leave, I want to know why you did that, that, thing to me!"
"What thing?" Can you believe that he asked that with a remarkable look of confusion on his face? If I wasn't one hundred percent sure of what he was capable of I would've back off then.
"You know exactly what I'm talking of me, don't play coy with me!"
"No I don't, minus ten points for wasting my time. Now leave my classroom immediately." He waved his hand as if it would have the power to remove me from his sight.
"NO! I can't take it any longer! Why do you keep teasing me?"
"Excuse me, what did you just accuse me of?"
"Don't even try that on me, I'm wise to you. What was with my dream just then?"
"The one where it was just you and me in here, you locked that door over there with your wand, and…shite. You don't know about it?" As if the day couldn't have gotten worse, I just made a complete arse of myself in front of Snape.
"Minus ten points for language Miss Weasley." Yeah, okay whatever. It's not like my day can go anymore downhill from here anyway. "Now about that dream you spoke of…"
"I'm sorry, I'll just leave."
"Not now, I'm interested in the events in this dream of yours."
Please, for the sake of the rest of my dignity, just let me leave now.
"Oh wait, I remember it now."
"Okay then, can I go? Hold on, wait? What was that?" I knew it! He is teasing me.
"I created it, remember? It's a little thing that I invented, just for you. It's a spell that makes dreams come to life in your head. It's really quite fun. You should try it with two minds connected by it; it becomes so much more powerful.
"Okay, wait a minute…" Now I can't tell if this is a dream or not. He's gone and dis-com-bob-a-lated my brain!
"This time it is not a dream, Ginerva. Or would you rather be called Ginny? I could just stick with Miss Weasley, that had a kind of dirty quality to it."
Did he just say my name? (All of my names actually) Oh Merlin, why doesn't he just pin me against a wall and shag my lights out? With all of this crap going on, how can he just sit there with that smug look on his face? I know, because he's evil. That's an understatement, Professor Snape is the most evil creature alive!
"That's not entirely true, now is it? I'm your Professor, remember? I can't go around making out with you, you'd make the other girls jealous."
Cruel, cruel evil man! If he won't do anything about it, than I will! He said that he won't touch me, but he never mentioned that I couldn't touch him. By God I will! See how he feels pinned up against a wall! I knew it! He does like it. The bloody prick isn't fighting against it at all! Now to seal the deal, I'm going in for the kiss.
What the fuck! He can't just kiss me and then kick me out of his class! What a bastard!
"I told you I can't touch you Miss Weasley, you're only seventeen for Merlin's sake!"
"But…" How could he! That never stopped him before. What about the dream, that had to mean something to him. He would not have done it to me otherwise.
"I suggest that you leave now, before I take off more points for your failure to follow directions."
Oh, I despise that man so bloody much! I know he wants me, but why won't he take me? Damn him!
"Ginny, what's wrong?"
"Nothing Colin, I'm having teacher problems." That's putting it mildly, very mildly.
"Is it Snape again?"
"Yeah, I'd rather not talk about it, ever." Or just kick the bloody wanker hard enough so he won't be able to think about having children, either way would be fine with me.
"Well, I hope you feel better soon. I saved you some food from lunch."
Why couldn't I have had feelings for someone like Colin, and not that greasy-haired slime-ball! I hope he knows what he's got himself into. Nobody messes with a Weasley and gets away with it, especially one of the female variety.
The rest of my classes for the day were horrible; I just could not concentrate. It is because of the bad mood that arse of a Professor put me in. What gives him the right to reject me? Well that's it; I'm so over him. He'll just have to live the rest of his life knowing that he missed out on this! Screw it all, I'm going to bed and forgetting this whole blasted thing ever happened. Where's the dreamless serum?
"Ginny?" Have you ever had one of those moments where you fell asleep in your bed, but when you woke up you had no idea where you were? This was one of those times for me.
"Where the hell am I? I thought I was in my room."
"Obviously you are no longer there." Snape? What's going on here?
"How can that be, I just fell asleep on my bed."
"Well, the one you are presently in is mine."
"Remember that spell I told you about after class?"
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with this?" And while you're telling me that, wipe that bloody smirk off of your face!
"I told you Miss Weasley, I can't touch you. But they cannot stop one from dreaming, and this is a dream, remember?"
"What are you saying?" Don't walk towards me, I'm over you. You have no power over me!
"I never rejected you, or whatever you were thinking in that silly little head of yours. I just didn't want to risk expulsion, on any of our parts, so I found away around the rules. Now where was I? Ah, yes…"
I take back every thing I said about Snape after class this morning, he's a bloody genius. And…"Oh God!"
A/N: This story started out as a songfiction...but they took it off the site sobs So, I changed it up a bit and reposted it. I'll fix all of my songfictions up that way...and they won't have any songs in 'em either. MAHA!
Anyway, please review and whatnot. It's really offensive to see half as many hits as reviews.