22Disclaimer: JKR owns the Potterverse, and Viskii owns the…Skittlesverse?
A/N: I plan to take this story into a slightly different direction. Points will go to the first person who figures out what I have planned for poor Lily. (evil laughter)
Prefect meetings were known for being long and boring. Although the students were unaware, there was a reason for this. Most teachers at Hogwarts had once been prefects, and it was hoped that the long, tiresome meeting that stretched on forever without getting anything done would prepare them for the most horrendous part of teaching: staff meetings.
"…and so, along with a new patrol schedule, we are going to have to memorize Mr. Filch's banned items schedule so that we can make sure that anything inappropriate is confiscated as soon as possible." The Head girl finished. Many several prefects shook their companions awake. The Head Girl seemed not to notice as her peers wiped drool.
"Alright then," Frank Longbottom, the Head boy, suppressed a yawn as he looked at the last item on his list, "there's one more piece of business before we adjourn. Professor Dumbledore says that, due to some pretty persistent threats on his life, Severus Snape will no longer be living in the Slytherin dormitory. Instead, he's going to have his own room in Gryffindor Tower. Right near the common room. In fact, there's apparently a corridor leading right from his room to the Gryffindor common room. He'll be taking classes with Gryffindor. And, he'll also be sitting at the Gryffindor table at meals. This is ridiculous. Why didn't he just sort the guy into Gryffindor and be done with it?"
"Er, two reasons, I suppose." Remus replied. "First, there's the issue of house points. Second, well, if he slept in Gryffindor, I don't think that would decrease the threat to his life all that much. Most importantly, however, I think it would just be too much to ask him to cheer for Gryffindor at Quidditch games." No one noticed the odd smile on Remus's face during his last statement. 'Just wait!' he thought, trying to suppress laughter. Frank, also a Gryffindor, just laughed and the meeting was adjourned.
Lily moved towards her prey at once. For a guy who generally looked like he was at death's door, however, Remus could move extraordinarily quickly when he chose. Her counterpart was the first out the door, and by the time Lily made it into the corridor, Remus was out of sight.
'I have to talk to Remus.' She thought. 'Remus is sitting with James Potter. I have to avoid James Potter. This is a problem. '
'Why does James have to be such a prat? He has everything. He's rich, he's athletic, he's good at Transfiguration, he's popular, and he's really very nice to look at. Not that I'll ever actually say that. Ever. And he's a pureblood, with mostly pureblood friends. It's so frustrating. Everyone seems to love him, despite his inflated ego and habit of pulling pranks on just about everyone. Now even Snape is part of his little group.'
'That's it. I'm a prefect now. I'm not going to let them get away with everything. Not this year. James Potter, you are never going to know what hit you.'
Unaware of Lily's mental declaration, James Potter sat contentedly among his Marauder friends. The snack cart had come around, and Severus had just discovered that James had an unusual fondness for Pepper Imps. That actually explained quite a bit.
"I still can't get over the expressions on their faces when you and Remus started walking towards the train together. Jaws were dragging on the floor. You do realize what this means, don't you guys? We pranked the whole school! We actually did it! This has to be a historic first!" Sirius's yelled excitedly. His friends couldn't help but laugh. Well, Severus was snickering.
"Severus, as most junior Marauder, you do realize that you have an obligation to fulfill, right?" James asked, poker-faced.
"What?"
"Your mission, and you have to accept it, is to plan the first prank at Hogwarts. This prank must be carried out before the first week of classes has ended, and must, at the very least, leave one professor highly confused. Good luck man." James managed to keep his face straight with titanic effort as he patted Severus patronizingly on the shoulder, but soon, they were all laughing so hard it was surprising the compartment was not rattling.
"Severus," Remus began, "I just realized we didn't go over our schedules together. What electives do you have?"
"Care of Magical Creature, thanks to Dumbledore, and Ancient Runes. You?"
"Well, we're all in Care of Magical Creatures, as I'm sure you know, and I'm also taking Ancient Runes. James is taking Muggle Studies, and since Sirius's parents would have had heart attacks if he took Muggle Studies, poor Mr. Padfoot is stuck taking Divination."
"Mr. Mooney has absolutely no idea. This year, we're starting with tyromancy! Tyromancy!" Sirius replied with a moan.
"What on earth is tyromancy?"
Sirius slumped in his seat, head in his hands, clearly distraught. "Tyromancy," he said miserably, "is divination using cheese."
There was a pause, followed by yet another outburst of loud happy laughter.
A/N: Thanks to Jecir and the anonymous reviewer. To all of those who reviewed, I send mental bars of Dagoba organic chai milk chocolate. Yum! Oh, and by the way, I did not make up tyromancy. It really is divination or magic using cheese.