A/N- I don't own The Outsiders. And I have no idea why I wrote this, I guess I was just bored. Review and tell me what you think, I'll probably take it down in a few days. It's stupid.

I was walking to work, like I do everyday when—Oh, wait a second. I don't walk to work every day, I usually get a drive. And I don't work, I skip school to go harass random people. Anyways, I was walking to work, like I do everyday, when I heard them. I usually wouldn't stop to listen to blubbering gossiping girls, but I thought I heard my name. Actually, I didn't, but I had nothing better to do with my time than eavesdrop. Anyways, when I heard my name, I went and stood behind a tree so I could listen to what they were saying without them seeing me. Or maybe I went behind the tree because I had to pee. I don't remember now.

"Oh my god."

"Girls! Oh my god! I can't believe it!"

"I can't believe we finally did it!"

"I know! It was like, destined to be!"

I was getting a little tired of hearing them, so I started to walk away when I heard them.

"I can't believe we finally got a pair of Keith Matthews pants!"

I froze. They stole… My pants? How would they manage that? Maybe when I left them at school a few days ago because I was hot…. Well, I wasn't hot, I was just bored and wanted to freak out some girls. Freak out? More like donate my pants to a bunch of my fans that I didn't know existed. Anyways, I was hot a few days ago so I took off my pants as I was leaving the school. That's probably where they got them from. But… Why were a bunch of random fan's of mine standing around examining a pair of my pants?

"Ohh god, what do we do?"

I thought that was pretty funny. What do they do with my pants? I could think of a few things I wouldn't mind doing with their pants, heh heh heh…So, they were obsessing over a pair of my pants. I was thinking of saying something to them, but decided against it. I could either draw this out, get enjoyment out of it for a long time to come, and taunt them… So I didn't say anything.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Uneventful? Other than a few major events was uneventful. No, I can't even say that truthfully. I actually decided to go to school after that, second time since school started. I got kicked out of every class I was in, and realized that one of the fan girls… Is in my science class! I went out of my way to make her notice me. I even went as far as to offer her desk a beer… which is why I got kicked out of that class. I did notice her staring at me though, but I guess everyone was since I was singing Row Row Row your boat.

No one else in the gang found it nearly as interesting as me that the girls had my pants. I kind of mutated the story and had it so that they said they wanted me to get in their pants, although no one believed it.

"Did they really say that, Two-Bit?" Darry had asked me that night.

"Yes! They were also saying how my phone number was 627…"

"Two-Bit, your phone number is 590…"

"I know that. That's just what they were saying," I interrupted.

"Your drunk," was what everyone told me. They passed it off as a figment of my imagination! Just because I was drunk did not mean that I make up fan girls crowding around a pair of my pants. Later that night though, I did get drunk. I got so drunk I would run for president that year… Wait.. What? Maybe I'm still a little drunk, that never happened. I got drunk off my ass, literally. I couldn't even sit down on a chair, I kept falling. So, I too passed it off as a figment of my imagination, and did until the next day when I got home and went to get dressed for another day at the brain-factory. It was kind of strange, the house smelt kind of like roses. I opened my dresser drawer only to find…

It was completely empty.

A/N: Are you shaking your head in disgust about what a terrible story this is? I sure am. REVIEW!