Category: Harry Potter
Warnings: Slash between Sirius/Remus, some angst in about two chapters, and swearing.
Summary: A freakish potions accident has caused Remus and Sirius to switch bodies, but their minds still intact. What can they learn by being the other? Will they finally fall in love?
Notes: Okay everyone, remember when I had my really bad Sims craze and didn't update anything in like forever? Well, yeah, only now I am obsessed with something far worse. That's right ladies and gentlemen; I am obsessed with Kingdom Hearts, the best thing to ever be! I love Sora and Riku so much I think I might burst with happiness. Also, along with the video games being wicked fun (especially the second with more Cloud and SQUEE! ROXAS!) The fan fictions are equally good, along with the art and videos on YouTube, it makes me go nuts! (8L) anyway, hope you like the update choice.
Gaspeth! On with the story!
Remus had never had any trouble with girls and the ones that did bother him usually only kept within the lines of 'help me with my homework'. He had been happy, content, perfectly fine with how everything had been going on. Oh, besides the loving of your homophobic best friend, but that was the only glitch.
Okay and the werewolf thing. He would not deny that but this was definitely a first. His hands rose in a sort of 'DON'T HURT ME LOOKS CAN BE DECIEVING' sort of way. Well, if worse comes to worse than at least he knew what his escape route would be…where was that bastard in his body anyway?
Sirius, it turned out, was in a similar situation, only with Slytherin…boys. He really hated gay people, the only exception being his close friend Remus but this was not helping. While he felt really guilty, Sirius had slipped off when a group of girls had walked up to them, hoping that Remus could handle the situation. Well, those plans of 'RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!' seemed to backfire when he ran into Lucius Malfoy on his way to the Kitchens for a quick swipe.
But could you really call it that when the house elves willingly gave you the food?
Not the point! Back to the situation at hand!
Now what did Remus say to do again…?
Ah yes! Clearing his throat Sirius grinned wickedly at them, the sight being rather new to the Slytherins.
"Don't make me hurt you Malfoy," he spat, folding his arms in front of him.
"So kitten can hiss," Lucius grinned. "I have been waiting so long to hear that beautiful voice." Sirius blanched, rubbing his forehead. Okay, he really hated gay people. It was so gross it almost made him gag just the thought of two guys…urg. Now two girls on the other hand, Sirius was all for. More power to the sexy lesbians!
(A/N: Back in Kansas where I used to live everyone hated the fact of gay people but the guys just LOVED it when it came to seeing two girls make out. Walking hypocrites I tell you. Sorry if I had offended anyone)
Sirius snapped out of his daze when he realized a hand had grabbed his upper arm, strait into a waiting chest. Why the fuck was Remus so short! Blushing furiously, he pushed back with all his might.
Right, now he TRULY remembered what Remus said about these situations; beat the crap out of them! Rolling up his sleeves, he crouched down, suddenly leaping onto the unsuspecting seventh year; biting, punching, kicking, and pulling all that he could. To all the onlookers it looked like Lupin had finally gone bonkers.
"You wanna play rough boy!" Lucius screeched, slamming Sirius into the wall. However, he continued to stick on, sort of like the annoying glue on your fingers. His friends were staring in complete shock, not really knowing what to make of things. Lupin, the quiet boy they had been lusting after had suddenly looked rabid and kicking and clawing at everything he reached.
Sirius clamped down onto Lucius' forehead, hissing and snarling like a rabid werewolf…which in other situations might have been true.
Briefly he wondered how Remus was doing before continuing his ravage attacks.
Oh my god! Oh my god! Breasts! They all have breasts I don't know what to do! Oh my god! One is pressing to me! What do I do?
To say Remus was panicking was an understatement. He was hyperventilating for god sakes and no one seemed to notice! The girls around him, in Remus' opinion, were getting even hornier. Oh god he was going to be stuck in some sick orgy! Suddenly a thought struck him; what would Sirius do? He tried to think of something, anything, but his mind was going into over drive. He thought long ago that it had abandoned him just like Sirius with a note saying 'go get 'em kid! I'm rooting for you!' Like hell you stupid Sirius brain!
"What did Sirius say to do in a situation like this?" He muttered. He couldn't remember and he wasn't going to panic WITH THE GIRLS PRESSING FURTHER ON HIM. Geez, how far can one be scrunched into a wall before sinking through?
Remus had never been bombarded by women so suddenly in his entire life! He had tried, and let it be known valiantly that he failed, to get the women off of him with the 'yes you are very hot, now let me go please'. But, that just didn't seem to work…were those two in the back making out? All power to gay people but man oh man were they going at it. Remus had a horrible mental image of him being forced into the middle of this orgy. So, when things are so far gone from your grasp what else can you do?
"OH MY GOD DON'T HURT ME! I SWEAR TO YOU I WANT TO REMAIN SINGLE THANK YOU! AaaaAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAaAAaAAaAAAaHhHHhHHhHHHhHHHhhH!" The horrified screams could be heard throughout the entire castle….
…..and in Dumbledore's office…
"I swear to god!" He yelled, messing up another doodle of a heart with the names Albus and Minerva in them. "Whoever is yelling stop it now! Don't make me come out there!"
The screams continued.
"It's okay Mr. Punch-Paws, everything will be okay," the old headmaster whispered as he covered his stuffed monkey's ears. "I'm scared to."
….back at the common room….
Ears perked up.
Eyes glistened in the fire.
That's right my fellow chums, James had heard Sirius' (somewhat girly) cries of terror from the halls.
Legs set in motion he stamped a badge (Remus' prefect badge in fact) to the front of his robes, his chest puffing out to defy the world.
"DON'T WORRY SIRI! YOUR BUDDY JAMES IS ON THE HUNT!" He screamed so loud every head whipped to face him, looks of utter terror in their eyes. Many held each other in fright muttering things like 'if I die, remember me' and 'hold me'.
James' legs seemed to be motors as he screamed his way out of the common room.
…and back to Sirius, where the madness (nearly) began….
He was far to busy to hear James' cries of justice as he bit, bit, and bit some more of Lucius' hair. Oh, and pulling it too. By now, the shock had worn off and the Slytherins were trying to pull him off of Lucius' head, the ever present death threats sent by the main seventh year. Sirius was not having any of it, as his legs were kicking anyone who came near.
"Bon hif ba mop bow!" Sirius snarled, jaws still locked on Lucius' forehead. (A/N: He is saying: Don't like me much now).
If anything, he was doing Remus a favor by acting this crazy.
Smiling in delight he continued his assault.
Sorry this was so random. But this takes place after they left the classroom and were testing how they would react to the outside world in the new bodies. As you can see…they don't handle it very well. The cure is being discovered by Lily in this story! Yay for Lily! The Loop is no longer Lily-less! So anyway, at the end of the second chapter in the italics was Sirius waking up, I think I confused a few of you. But basically it was going back to when Sirius woke up because it showed how Remus was waking up in the beginning. Thought it fair. Anyway, this was a little special that showed you how every…er, can I really say coped? Anyway, review!