Disclaimer: don't own the Bible, don't own any movies aobut it, don't own a boy-friend... though that has nothing to do with a the story.
Author's note: this is a story about Jesus Christ, written by an atheist (be warned!). God is kind of the bad guy. The prologue is written by someone most people fairly misjudge (and he likes cursing, I'm very sorry to upset you all, I couldn't stop him.).
Cain, if you read this, wow. I'm very impressed. I never thought you'd say something like that, but it was very sweet.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, at this little story I am asked to write a prologue of. This is a story about friendship, treason, and, of course, the most ridiculous thing of all, love.
I don't understand why, but Men seem to be fascinated about it, they even commit crimes for it. But I'm straying from the subject.
Of course this isn't the whole story, then we should go back to the beginning of time, and you should read the other Book for that, written (well, not literally) by my Brother, aka God. This story at the other hand, goesabout thirteen men and one woman.
About a man called Simon Peter, a common fisher, also called the tower of strength, or Pete and was said to be the first pope, though I can assure you he didn't look at all like some old, raving fool. About his brother, Andrew, or Andy, who practised the same job, and died on a cross in the form of an X.
About their friends, James and John, sons of Zebedee, who, when you asked them the question: 'What's the name ofthe father of the sons of Zebedee?' would stare for some moments at you,triumphantly answer: 'Zebedee!' and then be very surprised that you laughed.
About another fisher, called Phillip, who someone called Philly.
About Thomas, who was also called Tommy or, much later, doubting Thomas, because he wasn't too dumb to just believe you on your word.
About Bartholomew or Barty, a name he hated.
About Matthew, who was a tax-collector, but no evil man, and also was called Matt.
About another James, who was also known as Jammy and could tell the greatest shit and get away with it.
About a person called Judas Thaddaeus Labbaeus, aka Thaddy.
About Simon the Zealot, who didn't get a nickname because he was a good friend of the one who thought them up. Simon liked fighting a lot, but if you asked him anything difficult, he understood what you meant too, what you can't say for everyone who likes fighting.
About Judas of Iscariot, or the Traitor, or the Betrayer, or whatever names you like to give him. he was the one who came up with all the nicknames, and because he always said what he thought, he came in a lot of trouble. I rather liked him, but I have nothing to do with this story; my Brother is the only one, though they blame me all the time for it.
About the only woman in this thing (emancipation didn't have so much success in those days), Mary Magdalene or Mary of Magdala, a good-looking prostitute. And a very sweet woman.
And, of course, about the son of my Brother, Jesus of Nazareth, Jesus Christ, the Savoir, the Messiah or whatever-the-hell you want to name him. He was a very nice chap, I felt very sorry for him when he died on that cross. He really hated the idea that all his friends had to die because of him. He was a very pure, innocent, almost naïve boy, and I really liked my nephew, had nothing to do with his death, whatever they may tell you. He didn't quite grasp that every disciple of him wouldn't even fight with another disciple, just because they were afraid of the disappointment in his eyes. That everyone looked happier when he was around. He's the one who talked me in this too. But I'm only writing the prologue, so much pride he at least left me. But, like everyone else, I can't refuse him anything. And the problem is he doesn't even know that everybody will do exactly as he says.
But, anyway, this story tells bits out of his life, or actually only the parts about his three years with the apostles.
Oh, yes, and before you begin, I'd like to introduce myself. You can call me Lucifer, and although I have a lot of other names (not very nice ones), I prefer that one.
See you in hell, I hope.
did you like it? Next part will be written by Mary. Please review! Then I'll update as soon as a can!