This is just a vacation comedy I decided to make up. I own nothing from "Final Fantasy" or any other "Square-enix" game.
Tired of so much adventuring, the gang recently decided to go on a week of vacation in Hawaii. At 7th Heaven, Cloud, Barrett and Cid booked the flight, Yuffie, Aeris and Tifa prepared their luggage and Caitsith, Vincent and RedXIII looked for a hotel on the internet.
In the kitchen
"Cid, call a cab. The plane leaves in an hour" Cloud said.
Cid cocked his eyebrow.
"Why should get their by plane? Why can't we just take my airship?" Cid asked.
Barrett walked into the kitchen.
"Because every time we use the Highwind, Yuffie loses her lunch. Remember last time when she threw up on my gun arm?" Barrett grumbled.
Cloud and Cid grinned.
"Oh yeah, it was hilarious when you tried to shoot her and barf squirted out" Cid snickered.
Barrett muttered angrily as he stomped out of the bar.
"Not only that, but we're all getting tired of riding in that airship so much" Cloud said "So we decided to find a more comfortable way to travel"
Cid was pissed at Clouds statement but he quickly calmed himself with a cigarette.
"I thought you said you were quitting" Cloud mentioned.
"Yeah, I know"
"And you also said that smoking was bad for you…"
"It is…BUT I $#ING NEED IT!"
Cid wildly inhaled smoke from his cigarette; Cloud nervously took a few steps back.
"Okaaaay…I'm gonna see if the girls are done packing our bags"
In the upstairs room
Aeris and Tifa carefully chose their clothes while Yuffie was much hastier.
"Has anyone seen my headband?" Yuffie yelled.
Tifa sighed and shook her head.
"You're wearing it, Yuffie"
"Oh yeah…hell I never even take it off" Yuffie said.
Aeris held up two dresses, a pink one and a red one.
"Which one…hmmm…red or pink?" Aeris turned to Tifa "Which one should I bring?"
"Pink, looks better on you" Tifa replied.
"Nah, red's much better" Yuffie said.
"No pink is"
Aeris groaned and shouted "Never mind! I'll just bring them both! Jeez!"
Cloud walked into the room.
"Are you girls ready yet?"
"Yeah me and Teef are ready" Aeris said.
Yuffie tried to stuff a bunch of clothes into a suitcase, it barely held.
"Hold on…yeah…I'm ready"
The suitcase suddenly shot open, shooting out clothes that slammed Yuffie into the wall.
"I'm gonna need an extra bag…"
In the computer room
Red, Vincent and Caitsith had a hard time finding a hotel, as many were already booked with reservations. The remaining hotels weren't as good.
"Ooh, how bout this one!" Caitsith chimed.
"No, too grimy" Red replied.
"How about that one?" Caitsith asked.
"Hmmmm...not enough room for everyone" Vincent remarked.
"Oh, that one looks good"
"I don't think so, the pools above ground. We want a…"
Caitsith slapped his forehead impatiently.
"Come on, guys a hotel's a hotel!"
Vincent finally found a good one, a large and fairly fancy hotel. Good accommodations and one reservation left.
"Now that's more like it" Vincent said, half-joyful but still impressed.
Red and Caitsith nodded joyfully and set up the account for the reservation.
"There we go. We got ourselves a nice hotel" Caitsith said, already heading for the door.
Vincent and Red followed.
Outside the others were waiting.
"You guys find a nice enough hotel?" Cid asked.
"We sure did. Can't believe how lucky we are" Caitsith replied.
A large, yellow taxi cab pulled up…Reno was driving.
"Hey, wassup!" Reno chuckled.
Everyone was a bit surprised.
"What the hell are you doing? When did you become a cab driver?" Tifa asked.
"This morning, first day on the job" Reno replied.
"Why did you quit?" Cloud asked.
"Well Rude was getting moody and # lately so I decided to take up this part time job to brush it off" Reno said with a sigh.
The gang threw in their bags; them-selves and the cab droveoff. Shortly after leavin, Tifa appeared worried.
"What's wrong, Tifa?" Cloud asked.
"I can't remember if I locked up the bar before we left" Tifa replied.
"So?" Caitsith asked, as if it wasn't a big deal.
Tifa rolled her eyes. "So what if someone breaks in or something?"
"Ahh don't worry" Cid said "Ain't likely for anyone to rob a bar anyway".
Back at the bar
A bunch of thugs did indeed break into 7th heaven, grabbing the cash register and many beers.
"Ain't no place better to grab booze from, eh boys?" One of the thugs chuckled.
Back in the cab
In the cab, Cloud sat in the front next to the Reno. Barrett, Tifa and Vincent sat in the first row of seats, Yuffie, Red and Caitsith in the 2nd and Aeris and Cid sat in the back.
"How long till we get there?" Yuffie asked, already losing her patience.
"Half an hour, at least" Vincent simply replied.
Yuffie groaned stubbornly. The others didn't seem to mind though. Yuffie decided to entertain herself.
"100 bottles of beer on the wall, 100 bottle of beer, take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of…OW!" Yuffies annoying singing was cut off by a sharp slap on the back of the head.
"Great job Yuffie, now that's songs gonna be stuck in my head all week!" Cid hollered.
"Well you could have asked me to stop, damn!" Yuffie shouted back, rubbing her head.
"Just shut up you little pest!" Cid snarled.
"No, you shut up!" Yuffie shouted back.
"How's about the both of you shut up before I toss you out of the cab!" Barrett howled.
Cid and Yuffie kept their mouths shut, half-afraid.
15 minutes in the cab
Reno's driving skills were appalling. As a chopper pilot he was good enough but as a cab driver he very nearly crashed into several cars and 5 pedestrians so far.
"Go back to driver's ed you red headed jackass!" A passing driver hollered.
The others felt unsafe, Cloud responded first.
"Uh…Reno…maybe I should drive" Cloud said nervously.
"Ahh, don't worry buddy. I'm a…" Reno began but he was cut off by a high pitched yelp.
"Oh my god!" Tifa cried, looking back.
"You just ran over a dog you crazy Turk!" Barrett shouted.
"SPARKY! NOOOOO!" The owner bawled.
Reno looked nervous but continued driving.
"Don't worry…uh…maybe taxidermy will cheer him up!"
The airport (30 minutes later)
Luckily the traffic wasn't bad, allowing the gang to arrive earlier than expected.
"Well, here we are" Aeris said, stretching her arms out as she stepped out.
"Thank god the traffic wasn't bad or the plane would have been in Hawaii by now" Cloud added.
"Have a nice vacation!" Reno said as he recklessly drove off.
"Remind me to never trust him with a car again" Cloud said to the others.
The gang stepped inside the airport. One by one they stepped through the metal detector. Barrett however had trouble, due to his gun arm.
"I'm sorry sir but you'll have to take that off" The guard said.
"I can't" Barrett replied.
The guard narrowed his eyes, quick tempered and taking his job a little too seriously.
"Don't give me any lip buddy, take that thing off now!"
"I can't do that! It's attached to me!"
"I'm not #$ing with you…TAKE IT OFF!"
Barrett had enough; he punched the guard and barreled through the metal detector…only to have a dozen guards tackle him to the ground in a pile.
5 minutes later (on the plane)
Barrett was forced to surgically remove and reattach the gun arm just to get on the plane, he was deeply angered but the comfortable seat he sat in on the plane soothed him. The others enjoyed the features as well; the cabin was clean and somewhat fancy.
"This is great, much better than that rickety old airship" Yuffie giggled "No bumping, and I even have this…uh…rolling down…blind thingy for my window so I don't get airsick"
Cid growled as he lit a cigarette. A steward approached Cid as he noticed the smoke.
"Umm…sir…read the sign" The steward said, pointing to the red light above the no smoking sign.
Cid casually looked at the sign and back at the steward.
"Could you excuse me for a sec?" Cid said as he got up.
Cid walked to the back of the plane, opened the power box and pulled out the cord for the no smoking light. He returned to his seat.
"There, happy now?" Cid remarked.
The steward shrugged and walked off, giving up. Tifa and Cloud sat together, chatting.
"What's wrong Tifa?" Cloud asked, noticing a glum look on Tifas face.
"I wonder if Red will be ok, he looked kinda miserable" Tifa mentioned.
In the back of the plane
Red sat uncomfortably in an animal cage labeled "Whatever"
"Man this sucks" Red grumbled to himself.
For some reason, the great Gonzo was in another cage also labeled "Whatever"
"Hey, you're not alone, brother"
The passenger cabin
Yuffie curiously pressed a button on the ceiling control panel. A gas mask dropped down next to Vincent, startling him.
"Gah! Yuffie don't do that!" Vincent yelled.
"Sorry…hey what's this one do?" Yuffie pressed another button without reading the "Emergency Ejector Seat" label.
"YUFFIE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO!" Vincent cried out, suddenly finding him-self being propelled out of the plane.
"Opps…." Yuffie squeaked.
Yuffie was dumbfounded but upon seeing the sprouting parachute attached to Vincent seat she sighed with relief.
"At least he had a parachute" Yuffie said.
The pilot addressed the passengers from the cockpit radio.
"Attention passengers, we'll be arriving in Hawaii in approximately 20 minutes, thank you"
The others sighed; glad the plane trip was nearly over.
"Well it's been a long trip but we're just about there" Aeris said gladly.
"Hey wait a minute, where's Vincent?" Caitsith said, noticing the absence of Vincent…and his seat.
Yuffie sweated lightly, instantly replying with a lie.
"Um…uh…he's…in the bathroom…" Yuffie stammered.
Barrett noticed something floating in the air on the side of the plane…Vincent.
"Then why the hell is his ejector seat outside the plane?" Barrett said calmly and obviously.
Everyone stared at Yuffie, angry and annoyed.
"What! It was an accident!" Yuffie chimed.
"Never mind, he'll meet us there" Cloud said.
In the air, above water
Vincent was pissed, very pissed.
"The second I find you Yuffie you are beyond dead!" He snarled as he slowly landed in the water, not far from the coast of Hawaii.
Vincent angrily grunted as he began to swim, feeling bad for getting his outfit wet and hoping that his pistol wouldn't rust.
"Well at least I know things can't get any worse"
Vincent briefly saw an arched, triangular fin slice across the water, not 30ft to his right. Vincent's eyes went wide, his heart skipping a beat.
Before he knew it, Vincent had 3 sharks coming after him, snapping viciously at his legs as they frantically kicked towards the beach…would he make it?
The End (Of this chapter)