6The Inuyasha Cast Goes To
Anger Management Class!
Regaime- hope everyone likes this. I just thought it'd be funny, so here it is.
Disclaimer- throughout the course of this class, all characters belonging to Rumiko Takehashi will temporarily be owned by Regaime.
Regaime- please don't hurt me lawyers! I'm improving their minds…or at least, most of them and those that can actually be improved.
Anger Management Class sign-up:
Naraku
Inuyasha
Sesshomaru and Jaken
Kouga
Kagura and Kanna
Miroku and Sango
Kikyo
Kagome
Shippo
Tsubaki (Kohaku)
Class is now officially in session:
Me- ok, we're here today because I mysteriously gained the power to make all of you attend Anger Management Class. So you're not allowed to leave until all your problems between each other are resolved and everyone is best friends!
Inuyasha- why do we gotta do that? Might as well just let us rot here…
Kouga- (scoffs) Yah! I'm never gonna be even distant enemies with that mutt!
Inuyasha- you wanna come here and say that to my face fleabag!
Kouga- you're on!
Kagome- uh, guys…this is exactly the reason we're in this mess…
Me- that's right! We're here to discuss your feelings. Why don't we start with you two egomaniacs since you're so eager to be friends! Then afterwards you can kiss and make up!
Audience- that's just wrong…
Inuyasha- the only way I'm getting even close to that creep is when I'm ripping his head off!
Kouga- I'm ready any time dog boy if you're up to it!
(Both are now growling loudly at each other)
Me- ok, first we need to know where all this anger and hate comes from, then we can try and work it out.
Kagome- I think I know the reason…
Shippo- yah, ain't it obvious?
Inuyasha- shutup Shippo! (Bops him on the head)
Shippo- oohhh! Kagome!
Kagome- Inuyasha SIT!
Inuyasha- (is forced to ground) oww…
Miroku- this is getting nowhere…
Me- ok, Kouga. You like Kagome and—
Kouga- hem uh, no. I love Kagome. She's mine.
Me- WHATEVER! Anyway…you 'love' Kagome and so does Inuyasha. So we need to come to some agreement here. Any ideas Inuyasha?
Inuyasha- I ain't participating in this—all I want is rabies-man dead. And sorry to disappoint you, but Kagome isn't yours.
Kouga- who else's could she be? Cuz she's definitely not yours.
Inuyasha- I didn't say that! (Growling) I've a better chance than you anyway.
K- (growling) oh yah? And what will you do once Kagome is mine?
Inuyasha- (still growling) I'll kill you before that happens.
Me- (sighs and holds up fly-whacker)
Inuyasha- (sweatdrop) uh…ok, no need for that! Uh…I guess we could share…
Kagome- SITT!
Inuyasha- oww…
Kagome- I AM NOT GONNA LET TWO IMMATURE IDIOTS FIGHT OVER ME! AND I AM NOT SOME PAWN BETWEEN YOU EITHER! KOUGA!
Kouga- (gulps) yes Kagome?
Kagome- I've told you before, I like you as a friend, but I don't love you. NOW GET OVER IT!
Kouga- ok…(flinches and shrinks into a dark corner twiddling his thumbs)
Kagome- and Inuyasha!
Inuyasha- (who had been silently laughing at Kouga, stops abruptly and snaps to attention) yes Kagome?
Kagome- WILL YOU PLEASE MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND! YOU SAY YOU LOVE KIKYO AND THEN YOU GO AND FUCKING HIT ON ME! CAN YOU COME TO SOME FUCKING DECISION PLEASE!
Inuyasha- (face is blown away and he's twitching)
Me- ok! I think we have our next topic! Kikyo, (cough bitch cough) what do you think about all this?
Kikyo- (to Inuyasha) Fuck you. I want you dead.
Me- OK! NOW we're getting somewhere!
Inuyasha- but, Kikyo—I thought…(puppy eyes)
Kikyo- I HATE YOU! GET IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEAD! I—AM—DEAD!
Me in background- (inconspicuously kills Kikyo) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DIIIIEEEEE BITCH! DIIIIIIIIEEEE IN PAAAAIIIIIIN! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Hehe, no one can notice cuz I wrote 'inconspiciously'.
Miroku- (to Inuyasha) I think you'd be better off sticking with Kagome.
Kagome- (VERY pissed)
Inuyasha- I'm not so sure…
Miroku- whatever…(sneaks his hand behind Sango and starts rubbing her butt)
Sango- (slaps him) PERV!
Me- Kikyo had to leave for some reason, so why don't you two go next. Sango, what angers you about Miroku?
Sango- well, let's see—you mean besides the fact he's always groping other women!
Miroku- I blame it all on my cursed hand—I'm innocent.
Shippo- you're not fooling anyone…
Sango- ADMIT IT MIROKU!
Me- ok Miroku, open up your mind towards Sango and tell her the truth.
Miroku- (dramatically) As an honorable monk, I would be willing to do such a thing. It is in my blood and belief to reveal my heart to such a beautiful woman, and I will gladly fulfill my duty—
Inuyasha- JUST SPIT—IT—OUT!
Miroku- I'm getting there. (Anger cross. Resolves himself and kneels in front of Sango, grasping her hand and kissing it, causing her to blush slightly) Oh Lady Sango, please understand the only reason I—'show affection'—towards other women is because I know it makes you jealous, and it is the only way I can receive your attention.
Sango- you really mean that?
Miroku- (once again dramatically) With all my heart and soul that is eternally bound to your undying— (sees Inuyasha with an anger cross and his foot tapping impatiently out of the corner of his eye) —er, I do.
Inuyasha- oh, and I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact you're perverted and like to violate women's privacy…
Kagome- you shouldn't talk Inuyasha! I've caught you peeping at me before!
Inuyasha- I never did that! (Blushes intensely)
Kagome- sure you have! And for god's sake, stop ruining their moment! (Gestures towards Miroku and Sango)
Inuyasha- what moment?
Kagome- SITT! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Inuyasha- oww…XX
Me- Sango, do you have anything to say?
Sango- well…Miroku?
Miroku- yes?
Sango- um…I'm sorry for slapping you so much…I think it's really affecting your brain!
Miroku- gee…thanks…(sweatdrop)
Sango- but I only do it because I can't think of anything else to do…and I really can't admit…
Miroku- what?
Me- ooh! This is gonna be good!
Sango- I kind of enjoy the…attention…(blushes deeply)
Miroku- wow…really?
Sango- (nods and keeps blushing)
Miroku- (smiles lecherously and snakes his hand behind Sango)
Sango- (knocks him senseless with her boomerang)
Miroku- too good to be true…XX
Sango- (laughs and kisses him)
Miroku- (kisses her back, thinking 'it is too good!' while rubbing her behind)
Sango- (thinking) 'he just never quits' (Slaps him)
Miroku- (smiles sheepishly)
Me- ok Shippo, you've been very quiet. Anything you want to say?
Shippo- well…I don't like it when Inuyasha hits me and stuff…
Inuyasha- No crap. Why do you think I do it in the first place?
Kagome- Inuyasha he's just a little kid!
Inuyasha- so?
Shippo- you could at least try and be a little nicer! I mean, hey, a half demon like you should be happy to have a friend like me who's full demon.
Inuyasha- shutup ya little runt! (Anger cross. Bops him on the head)
Shippo- OOooww! He did it again!
Kagome- (flames behind head in an ominous aura) INUYASHA!
Inuyasha- what? I was just kidding! Heh, heh…(sweatdrop)
Kagome- SIT!
Inuyasha- (goes thud) mmph…GOD DAMNITT WENCH WILL YOU CUT IT OUT!
Kagome- NOT UNTIL YOU COOPERATE AND BE NICE TO SHIPPO! NOW APOLOGIZE OR I'LL SIT YOU SO HARD YOU'LL—
Inuyasha- (crashes when she says sit) WILL YOU AT LEAST GIMME A CHANCE TO SPEAK!
Kagome- wooops…sorry… '
Inuyasha- (grumbles under breath) fine…Shippo, I'msorryforhittingyouiwon'tdoitagain.
Kagome- (hovering ominously above Inuyasha)
Inuyasha- ok, ok! And I wanna be your friend…(grumbles) at least until I get this stupid necklace off…
Shippo- Thanks Inuyasha! (jumps on top of him and hugs him)
Inuyasha- (still grumbling)
Me- ok people in the audience! Four problems down and a lot more to go! See you soon for more—on the next session of Inuyasha Cast goes to Anger Management Class!—Inuyasha gets pissed at Sesshomaru, everyone gets pissed at Naraku, and much MUCH more!
PLEASE REPLY! And apologies to those who like Naraku