Disclaimer- blah not mine blah blah

Warning- Adult stuff and some other thing's kids ain't supposed to see

A/N- start reviewing other wise if there's bits you don't like or want to change then I will but I can't change or get idea's if you don't review. On with the , friends and rose petal soft lips

Chapter 2

By Insane Angle Maegen

A flash of being surrounded by healers came into his mind, all went black again. A flash of a sunlit room and a comfy bed came, Mrs. Weasley was there crying over Harry.

"Please come back" she sobbed. Harry tried but she was just out of his reach. He drifted back into sleep, not like the unconscious sleep he had at Voldermort's it was full of fear and pain. This was peaceful, he knew that now only sleep awaited.

"Harry, Harry" someone was shaking him. He opened his eyes it was warm and sunny. Crouched over Harry was what looked like an angel. Her gold hair shining, his eye's adjusted to the light and there was Azalea. He got up on one elbow she leapt forward and squeezed Harry tight. Harry squeezed her back. He didn't feel the pain any more, everything was back to normal as if he hadn't been through those gruesome 6 months

"I'd thought I lost you" she said squeezing him tighter.

"I thought I was lost" Harry said truthfully "I thought I wouldn't be able to see you again" a tear rolled down his cheek. They pulled apart and just stare at each other for a while. Harry lying down, up on one elbow and Azalea sitting next to him he lifted up his hand and wiped away her tears he leaned closer. Azalea looked away.

"I shouldn't…." she started,

"You are my heaven" Harry said softly using the hand he had on her cheek he turned her head back and kissed her. She sat there for a little while eyes closed; she opened her eyes and looked into Harry's who was just inches away from her. She closed her eyes again and leaned forward.

They were kissing for a while but Harry started to get a head spin, he pulled away. Everything was spinning he couldn't focus. The world felt like it had turned upside down. He knew the feeling well, it was the feeling before you pass out. He was suddenly surrounded by warmth.

"Harry!" Azalea voice sounded scared and distant. All the scars started to feel warm. A bright light began to come from Harry, he closed his eyes. He felt like he was dropping, the same feeling he had last time he left her.

"Azalea … Azalea" Harry called out, first as a whisper then grew louder as did his strength.

"Calm down" someone was saying grabbing him by the shoulders holding him down. Harry couldn't see something was wrapped around his eyes.

"Azalea" he called out "where's Azalea? What have you done with her?" Harry shouted. Trying to break the mans grip.

"There is no one here by that name," the man said as someone else joined him. "Healer Munroe he must be hallucinating, no one's been in here but loved ones and he's been unconscious the whole time" they were talking about him, unconscious? But Harry was just with her how could he be in two places at once? He gripped something at the back of the guy's shirt, a wand.

"Luminous" he called the sudden light caught them by surprise, their grip loosening.

"Hold him Hector!" the healer shouted, but he was too late.

Harry broke free and rolled off the bed; one of them made a grab for him but only got the cloth from around his eyes. Harry stumbled into a corner, taking away the cloth didn't make much difference everything was too blurry to see properly. He spun around wand raised. He saw the two outlines of healer Munroe and Hector. Some more people rushed in the door. He leaned against the wall he was very weak.

"Harry its ok your safe now, you're at St. Mungo's" a tall figure near the door said "you can lower your wand, it's me Lupin". Harry tried to focus on the man speaking.

"Lupin?" Harry said loosening his grip a little.

"Yes it's me now lower your wand so the healers can help you" he said, Healers? One of the men holding him down had been called a healer. Was this really Lupin? No it couldn't be how could they have broken into Voldermort's hide out to save him when they didn't know he was there? Harry tightened his grip on the wand.

"I don't believe you, no one knew I was there" he said leaning heavily against the wall shouting. "Voldermort told me so; he said he'd made sure that no one would ever find out, I know for a fact no one was coming for me, they had all given up!"

Harry had started to pant it was taking a lot out of him to say this. His sight had improved a little he was starting to see more detail but not much.

"I'm sorry to say this but we didn't know you where there, we thought you had been killed months ago. We were there to get rid of Voldermort once and for all. Don't you remember when you broke that sphere you saved us all? That was a month ago, you've been a comatose patient here ever since" this voice Harry recognised as Dumbledore. Harry was very weak now the wand was starting to sway back and forth with his arm. Though he could hear true sadness in these peoples voice he still couldn't believe them.

"You are safe now that's all that matters" Lupin said. Harry was getting weaker and soon his strength would be gone. He stood up looked at the spinning figures in front of him.

"I was dead but now I'm back? It doesn't make sense right now I'm so tired, I have to sleep" he barely whispered. He could hardly support himself against the wall.

"What ever you do don't let him go back to sleep he'll fall into a coma again and we don't know if he'll ever wake up" the healer said to the Dumbledore figure.

"Why do you care if I live or die?!" Harry shouted "Stop this stupid delusion I won't fall for it again" Harry felt hot tears. "If I've told you once I've told you a million times Voldermort I don't want to see you or that pathetic old man Dumbledore again I just want to sleep without worrying if I'll wake up you know that" he started sliding down the wall. "You know I've been trying to kill myself and soon you'll have to give me that pleasure" Harry was slowly sliding down the wall "GOD WHY WON"T YOU FUCKING LET ME DIE!" he screamed at the top of his lungs he kept talking but was sobbing "you should have realised that I would rather live the rest of my short life suffering then letting you win!" Before anyone could say anything Harry was consumed by the darkness.

When Harry woke it was to the bright light of morning. For a second he thought he was in Azaleas forest but once his eyes adjusted to the light he realised he was in a hospital bed. Harry was shocked, he could see perfect. He wasn't wearing his glasses but everything was so clear. He looked down he was covered in bandages but nothing hurt. He slowly removed a bandage and there was nothing there. He may have been unconscious but he felt that only a couple of hours had gone by. It was only last night he had heard Voldermort's stupid attempt but now that he looked around he doubted that it was fake. Harry removed every bandage he could find except for one on his wrist, it still felt sore underneath. There weren't any clothes in the room so he stayed in the hospital's pyjamas. He staggered to the door feeling like a toddler learning to walk. He opened the door a little and looked around. No one was there he silently slipped out of the room and ran across the hall. At the end of the hall was a stairwell. On the opposite wall was a sign

Private Ward

Main clinicHarry must have been in a private ward. A thought hit him 'the ministry would want the best care they could find to make sure they heard what had happened to me,' that's why he was running; he did not want to face them and tell them what had happened the memories where to painful. He rounded a corner on the way to the main clinic and sensed the presences of people up ahead. He ducked in to a room close by. In the room was a single bed unmade. He walked over and saw on the chart at the end of the bed that the owner was off somewhere getting treatment. Harry noticed at the end of the bed a pair of jeans, some skate brand t-shirt and a mesh cap. He quickly got changed into the newfound clothes. The pants and shirt were baggy but that was the way they were supposed to be worn. He pulled down the front of the cap; it made him think of Moody with his bowler cap. He heard the people pass by the door. Using his power, which had suddenly returned he found out that no one else was coming.

He slipped out again and walked to the end of the hallway. He heard a lot of talking and movement behind the door at the end. The sign on the door read 'Waiting room'. Harry pulled his hat down as low as he could and walked out.

Suddenly being surrounded by people was sort of a shock at first. He had been alone for the last 6months but he recovered fast. He casually walked through the crowd to the exit. As he push the door open sun light hit his eyes. For a second he couldn't help but stop and enjoy the warmth of the sun, it felt so good. He pulled his hat down and stepped out, he had to get out of here. He was now surrounded by muggles. Harry remembering his last trip here went to the left towards the train station. As he walked up the alley he was pushed around a bit one man was walking straight at him so Harry stepped around him and a lady walked straight into Harry hitting his sore hand, hard. He clenched his teeth and held his throbbing hand.

"Oh I'm so sor..." she started. That voice, it couldn't be. He looked up. Mrs. Weasley was staring back at him. She looked very shocked.

"Harry?" she went to say but before she could finish he had turned in the other direction and ran as fast as he could. He could hear her shouting his name out behind him but he didn't slow down. All of a sudden there were some other voices added. Harry turned, there trying to make there way through the crowd towards him was Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Ron. Harry just ran faster but blocking his way up ahead was Fred, George and Mr. Weasley. Once they saw Harry they started making there way through the crowd towards him. Harry looked around panicked; he had to find another way out. To his left was an alley, he didn't know where it ended but it was his only chance. It didn't take long to get through the crowd and as soon as he hit the alley he broke into a sprint. The alley had many corners and Harry not doing much physical work for a while was getting tired fast. He thought he heard a crack some where. He dared a glance behind him. Fred, George, Ron and Tonks where catching up fast. Harry wasn't watching where he was going and ran into someone. Harry felt the person grab his arms, it was Lupin. Harry tried to break free.

"Harry stop it, we're not trying to hurt you" Lupin said struggling to hold Harry.

"LET ME GO!" Harry shouted, but Lupin only tightened his grip.

"Harry stop it, we're only trying to help" Tonks said they had tears on there cheeks.

"Leave me alone!" Harry shouted as Tonks helped Lupin to hold Harry, they threw him against the wall.

"Calm down Harry. We're here to take you home. We aren't trying to hurt you" Lupin said.

"I don't have a home and I don't want to go with you back too some place you think is my home. All you people ever do is tell me what I can and cannot do I'm not your property! You try and be my parents but your not I have no parents!" Harry shouted he didn't know where this was all coming from but it seemed to have been there for awhile. "I'm not going to stay with you people, you may be able to drag me back now but I will just keep on trying to escape!" Harry screamed, he wasn't struggling any more. He went limp in there arms "I don't want to go back there" he said just above a whisper.

"Where are you going to run too?" Harry turned around. Lupin took a step back to give Harry a better view of the new speaker. Harry glared at Dumbledore. He took a few deep breaths and looked away hot tears on his cheeks. When he spoke, he spoke to the ground.

"To be honest I don't know and I don't care anything's better then back there, there's only pain back there" he added in a stronger voice "it's better then being a prisoner!" Harry growled out looking back at Dumbledore. Dumbledore stared at him; behind those silver eyes Harry saw sadness. For a second Harry truly felt bad, these people where the only people who ever loved him. But if he stayed he knew something bad was going to happen Voldermort knew how much he loved them. He wished this was real but there's a strong possibility that it's Voldermort just trying to get secrets out of him again.

If it was real he couldn't stay anyway. Everyone who ever starts to get close to him dies, he can't stay and put them in danger. Harry knows that where he was staying the last few months wasn't Voldermort's main base; he didn't know how he knew he just knew. In the last few days of Harry's stay Voldermort seemed to realise this, just the way he acted around Harry made Harry know that Voldermort knew. Once Voldermort found out, if he didn't know already he would hunt Harry down and kill him. But all Voldermort knew was that Harry had realised it wasn't the main he didn't know that Harry knew where the main base was.

"The reason we can't let you go is precisely that, you are a prisoner" Dumbledore said sadly. Harry stood there shocked more tears rolled down his cheeks.

"7months ago an illegal curse came from your wand, you have also been associating with the dark lord for the last 6months and you are wanted for questioning" Dumbledore said. Harry looked at him but couldn't see any emotion behind the words.

"You were to be taken to court in a month, on a healers protection. But, after last night how all your wounds started healing at an extremely fast rate, mysteriously" he looked at Harry curiously but Harry couldn't stand to look at him. "The ministry has decided to hold the hearing in three days for that time you will be assigned to me on probation, you have been declared possibly dangerous by the ministry and must be kept in my sight at all times" Dumbledore said. Harry fell to his knees clenching his hands into fists he pounded them against his head repeating over and over again the word "no" he said in such despair that he saw Lupin's bottom lip tremble.

"You're lying!" Harry shouted he gripped at his hair. "Wake up" he cried, "wake up, I have to wake up" he cried in despair. At that moment Mrs. Weasley came running up puffed and flustered.

"Harry dear why did you run-away?" she said and stopped when she saw him.

"Please Voldermort no more! I wanna' wake up, hurt me again, do what you want but stop this dream!" he cried out tears coming down his cheeks. "No more I can't stand it, no more" Molly went to go to Harry.

"Stay away from me!" he yelled at her scrambling backwards. She stopped for a moment looking completely hurt but she didn't give up that easily she started walking towards Harry again.

"Molly this isn't the time for hu…" Dumbledore started. She turned her head and looked at him.

"I think it is" She snapped, just as the words came out of her mouth Harry had to fight the urge to leap forward and squeeze her tight. She kept walking forward toward him.

"Go away!" he shouted again but without as much force as before. She crouched down and wrapped her arms around him he tried to push her away but she wouldn't budge.

"Go away" he whispered.

"Everything's ok your fine now, you're safe" she said gently. He gave up and sat still, then all of a sudden he couldn't fight it any more. He let out huge sobs into her shoulders but didn't return the hug.

"It's really you, It's really you" he kept saying, "I've missed you so much" Harry hadn't realised how true this was. He sat there for what seemed like ages, sobbing into her shoulder.

"Oh dear I've been worried to death about you" she said squeezing him. Harry wished he could stay in her arms forever "there, there everything's fine now" she said soothingly. But Harry knew everything wasn't ok after all wasn't he a prisoner?

"No" he said, "he told me I've been declared" he rolled the words out with such disgust "possibly dangerous"

"What?" Mrs. Weasley said turning on Dumbledore "he's just woken up and you're already filling his head with that nonsense?" she said angrily at Dumbledore "do you wish to loose him again?"

"BUT IT'S TRUE!" Harry shouted crying and scrambling backwards against the wall away from them. "I killed Bellatrix with a crucio curse and…" He wrapped his arms around his knees and clenched his eye's shut "and Sirius was my fault too I deserved what I got and Neville's dead and…" Harry couldn't go on he still had tears rolling down his cheeks. He of course had no doubt now that this was really the people he knew not some stupid delusion Voldermort had made up.

Mrs. Weasley looked at Lupin standing there and they passed a worried glance. Lupin crouched down next to Harry.

"Sirius was not your fault. You know that none of us have ever accused you and with Bellatrix" he paused for a moment thinking about what he was going to say. Harry kept his eyes firmly shut "You know what you've done wrong and in a way it was self defence. They where trying to kill you" he said strongly but at the same time softly "and what you've been…" he seemed to be furious at himself. "What you've been through no one deserved that especially you all your life you've been devoted to helping people do you think that's a crime?" Harry just sat there quietly taking deep breaths but no matter what Lupin said Harry felt he deserved it. A picture of Azalea's sweet smile came to mind and Harry was suddenly yearning to see her.

"Neville would have never died if I hadn't of told Voldermort" Harry sobbed.

"Voldermort killed Neville not you never forget that, never!" Tonks piped up, Harry just cry quietly.

"So will you come back with us?" Mrs. Weasley said gently after a long pause. Harry sat there quietly staring at the ground in front of him. He took a deep breath.

"Please, please don't make me" he said shaking his head. He never wanted to go back " I don't want to go back there, please" he cried "don't make me go back".

"Please Harry no one will ever hurt you again Harry we promise you that. You Know Who is dead and you are safe, with us" Lupin said gently. Harry hadn't the heart to tell them the truth, the truth that ran through his veins; the truth that will haunt his dreams. Voldermort was alive.

"I will never be safe" he knew he had to say it, as much as it hurt him. He stood up "and as long as you stay with me neither will you" Harry watched his last teardrop hit the ground.

"Harry what are you talking about is something going to happen?" Dumbledore said stepping towards him. Harry didn't know how it happened put he felt the aurora of an evil presence. The familiarity of it made him start to have cold sweats. Harry held up his hands as terror filled him.

"Stay away!" Harry shouted to no one in particular. 'Why am I so scared?' He asked himself, something was filling him with terror he couldn't understand it.

"Harry what is it what's wrong" Mrs. Weasley said anxiously. Harry looked around frantically he felt like a cornered animal.

"Azalea" he whimpered sinking to the ground still looking around wildly. Flashes where coming to him screams, bodies, suffering Harry looked at is hands.

"Who?..." mad-eye said.

"So much blood" Harry whimpered horrified paying no heed too Moody the memories where coming back. There was so much blood it kept flashing on his hands. It was a memory; Harry was getting lost in his gruesome past. He frantically started wiping his hands on his jeans but the blood was still there. His eyes where wide as diner plates. "Get it off" he whimpered.

"Oh god he's having a nervous breakdown" Mr. Weasley said.

"Blood, so much blood" he kept whimpering "never leave, have to make it go away" all his strength seemed to drain from him "so much blood" he whimpered one last time. 'All this emotional and physical strain today must finally be having an effect' Harry thought just as he passed out.

Harry woke up to people touching him he felt them he was surrounded by people he cried out and tried to get off the bed but there where so many of them they held him down he felt them put things around his legs and wrist.

"HELP ME SOMEBODY HHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPP!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. There was cloth covering his eyes he couldn't see.

"Calm down" someone was saying, the people had let go but the restraints where still on his ankles and wrists but that didn't stop him he thrashed wildly around.

"What's going on in here?" Dumbledore's voice roared.

"He was thrashing around in his sleep we where ordered to put restraints on and then he suddenly started screaming" one of the men said.

"Harry you need to calm down everything's fine" Dumbledore said soothingly but Harry didn't care people where touching him. Which to him meant they where trying to hurt him.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" he screamed.

"Soothious" someone called out, a flash of blue light hit him and suddenly he couldn't thrash any more. He felt exhausted all his limbs felt like they weighed 100 kilos.

"Stay away from me" he whispered weakly before he fell asleep.

Harry woke to sunlight on his face it hurt his eye's but it was welcome he hadn't felt the warmth of the sun for a long time. He smiled weakly to himself before he realised he wasn't alone.

"It's ok it's me Lupin I'm here with your healer, Healer Munroe" he said quickly as a panicked look went through Harry's eyes. Harry relaxed and looked at the wizards in front of him. Healer Munroe looked like a fairly fit man; he had short blond hair and seemed to be in his early forties. He gave off the aurora of a positive thinker and a good heart.

"Hello Harry my name's Healer Munroe I've been your doctor for the past month" he held out his hand but Harry was still nervous about touching people, healer Munroe took his hand back.

"Sorry" Harry mumbled.

"Ah I see there is no reason to be sorry" he said writing something down on the green note book he had with him "you don't like touching people do you?" he asked. Harry shook his head.

"Well it's all right I wouldn't either but I'm going to be working with you to help you past that phobia" he said business like. "So I'll be sitting here talking to you today and I want you to put all your feelings into words"

"Um I don't mean to be rude but if you're my shrink why is Lupin here?" Harry asked "not that I don't like it" he added quickly.

"Well the last couple of times you woke up have been pretty hectic so I thought it would be easy for you to see a friendly face" Munroe said.

"Thank-you for being my friendly face" Harry said to Lupin, he noticed that Munroe wrote down something on his pad every time Harry said or did something.

"It's just great for you to be back" Lupin said and wiped a tear away.

"Harry how does that make you feel?" Munroe asked. Harry lay back and look at the ceiling there was a long pause and Munroe was about to break the silence but just then Harry sigh.

"There is no point in hiding my feelings, I have no doubt now that this is real" he pause for a moment before carrying on "when I was held prisoner they didn't only use physical pain he also used mind tricks" Harry clenched his fists. 'If I'm going to be living in this world again I mars well get used to talking bout my past' Harry thought but he didn't unclench his fist as he carried on. "He would make me believe I had been rescued when it was just a hallucination. So now, that I'm truly back, all I want to do is comfort the people around me but I keep thinking they're about to stab me in the back. For in the back of my mind I keep thinking that it's him playing his stupid tricks again to get information out of me and if he doesn't get his information he's going to make the hallucination versions of my friends turn on me" his voice quivered. "That hurt me the most seeing my friends turn on me and I never want to see that happen again"

"Harry I know I can't possibly understand what your going through but I would never turn my back on you they where just images in your head we would never do that" Lupin said furiously, every time Harry said something about what happened to him Lupin would get furious.

"Look thank you for saying that but I need some sleep" Lupin looked cautiously at Healer Munroe Harry rolled onto his side this conversation was bringing forth bad memory's. They didn't look like they where going to leave.

"It's ok, I mean I'm ok I'm just going to have a shower and a sleep before I see everybody else" saying he was going to see everyone turned the conversation into his favour.

"Ok, thank you for talking to me. I will talk to you again shortly" Healer Munroe said "but Harry please don't let your past haunt you, one day you could get lost in your memories and you may not be able to find your way back alone. That's why it is so important that the people who you care for to be around you so much. To help give you the chance of new memories, happy memories" Harry didn't answer him. Munroe sighed and left, leaving only Lupin

"Um you sure you want to be left alone?" Lupin asked, Harry nodded "well Mrs. Weasley said she was coming to see you at one o'clock with everybody else. Its twelve thirty now are you sure that's ok?" Harry nodded again. Healer Munroe had left the room during this conversation but Lupin looked reluctant to leave.

"I will see you in half an hour" Harry said indicating for him to leave

"Take it easy" Lupin said touching Harry's arm briefly, Harry pulled away. There was hurt in Lupin's eyes when he left. Harry sat on the windowsill looking out for awhile. The image of outside was fake of course they wouldn't show the Muggle Street outside. He prepared himself for the others visit. He was getting antsy so decided to have a shower. He stripped and felt the burning heat of the water.

'Everything is fine now' he told himself 'I'm with friends again and Voldermort is gone' he hit the wall of the shower 'of course he isn't gone' Harry thought furiously he hit the wall again. The glass of the cubicle shook with the impact causing Harry to look, the image made the tears beneath the surface break through. Retching sobs broke from his mouth as he stared at his reflection. Staring back was a pale boy, nothing but bones. All over his body were white lines the only things remaining of his torture. Harry was sobbing loudly when he heard a knock on the bathroom door. Harry froze.

"Darling it's Mrs. Weasley" Harry sniffled

"I'll be out in a second" he said sounding exactly like he had been crying. He knew they all would have heard his crying. He hopped out of the shower cursing himself as he realised he hadn't brought any clothes in with him. He wrapped a towel around himself still dripping wet and opened the door. Everyone turned to look at him

"Do you mind passing me my clothes" he asked some of them averted there eyes others stared furiously at the scars they saw on his chest. Mrs. Weasley passed him his clothes and he murmured a thank you then closed the door and got dressed. He only wanted to wear black now days. He walked out with a towel to his head still drying his hair 'cheerful' he kept telling himself 'be cheerful'.

"Hey everyone" he said cheerfully enough.

"How are you feeling" Mrs. Weasley asked nervously.

"I'm fine now" he paused for a moment as the memories threatened to come back. Harry said quietly "I don't mean to be rude but you'll have to watch what you say around me" he said. He walked over to take a seat on the bed indicating to everyone else to find a place to sit.

"What do you mean by that?" Tonk's said confused.

"Memories will never leave, I have a habit of getting lost in them if I'm not careful" Harry said "and my shrink thinks, and I quote 'one day you may get lost and not find your way back' something like that. I think he's the one who needs a shrink". Harry's stomach grumbled he looked wistfully at the pile of chocolate frogs next to his bed.

"Go ahead dear" Mrs. Weasley said you could hear the strain in her voice as she tried to sound cheerful, not forgetting his manners he offered them around, trying to avoid looking at Dumbledore. Then he tore into his pile, which was still reasonably big. Everyone seemed too nervous to eat.

"Sorry" he said after his fifth frog "I haven't eaten for awhile". He swallowed his sixth frog.

"So who's the new Minister of Magick?" Harry asked remembering the old one had died, the thought brought a flash of the old minister's face second's before he had died Harry quickly pushed it down. They all looked at him shocked and seemed to dare each other to talk.

"How did you know there's a new minister of magick?" Moody asked seriously

"Well usually if the old one dies you would need a new one" Harry said shrugging

"You know perfectly well that's not what I meant; How did you know the old one died?" Moody asked

"Because I watched it happen…" he said and stopped memories were flooding back more powerfully then Harry expected. He look down at the sheets on his bed as a tear splashed down on them, he clutched the sheets with his fists and clenched his eyes shut.

"Are you ok dear?" Mrs. Weasley said gently. He quickly wiped away any trace of the tear

"Never mind" he said quietly "I'm braking my own rule" Harry laughed weakly giving a sniffle. They where all watching him but Harry just sat there staring at his bed watching his knuckles as they returned to normal colour when he relaxed.

"Dear I think you should wait until you get a bit better to worry about those sort of things". Mrs. Weasley said calmly cleaning up the rubbish from the frogs. "I'll have a proper dinner for you tonight" she said trying to change the subject. As much for Harry's sake as well as the others

"But Mrs. Weasley I'm fine, I really want to know what is going on so I can better understand things and you don't need to worry about me being injured". He was babbling he realised a split second before he said it that he was about to say something stupid but it didn't stop him. "I'm perfectly fine now Azalea fixed me up perfect look there are no wounds" he said holding out his arms. "I really want to know what has happened while I was gone" he pleaded.

"Azalea? Who's she?" Lupin said raising one eyebrow "and what do you mean she fixed you up?" the others were looking at him in the same way.

"How do you know that name?" Moody said he sounded angry.

"How do you know that name?" Harry said narrowing his eyes suspiciously he then suddenly came to his senses. "Ah, did I say Azalea? I'm sorry didn't mean to never even heard the name before" he said, he wanted to keep her a secret he looked from side to side quickly trying to think of something to change the subject to. "So what is for dinner?" he asked Mrs. Weasley desperate to change the subject. None of them seemed to have believed him but let him change the subject. What concerned him the most was that moody had heard the name before; it wasn't exactly a popular name.

"I was going to do a roast, but since your going to be the special guest you can decide"

"Roast sounds great" Harry said cheerfully. "Anything exciting happen at school" Harry asked Ron.

Ron shrugged "They put Ginny on as a chaser for Gryffindor she's bloody good too" Harry smiled remembering Ginny saying how she wanted to play chaser and glad that they where at least trying to act normal.

"Who'd they put on for me?" Harry said cheerfully enough.

"You won't believe it, we're doing some program for a kid so he can do his last 2yrs at Hogwarts and he tried out" Ron whistled "You might have some competition".

"Our own age too? Do you think I can get my old spot back?" Harry asked.

"Hands down mate, his name's Kale. He's an all right bloke really into the ladies that's the main reason he joined the qudditch team" Harry smiled at this but inside the name seemed to have rung a bell. He couldn't think of where he had heard the name but it 'felt' familiar. The adults had started a conversation between themselves but seemed to be making sure Harry and the others couldn't hear. Hermione sat silently deep in her own thoughts

"Guess what Harry we can pay you back with interest" George said

"What?" Harry asked confused

"The joke shop it's booming we've even decided to sponsor the Gryffindor qudditch team" Fred said excitedly.

"That's great but you don't have to pay me back I gave you that money fair and square" Harry said glad to hear they were doing so well. Harry coughed.

"This boy must be stupid to turn down free money don't you think Fred" said George

"I agree George" replied Fred. Harry laughed but it turned into a cough.

"You ok mate?" Ron asked looking worried. Harry nodded and poured himself a glass of water from the jug next to his bed. He realised that the adults had stopped talking.

"I'm fine everybody, it's just a cough" Harry said smiling to reassure them. But to be honest he wasn't fine. His throat was very sore and he was having trouble breathing. Mrs. Weasley got up from where she was sitting and walked over to him, she placed her hand on his forehead.

"You're a little hot, it might be just a cough but I would feel better if you let the healer tell me that" she said.

"Don't worry your self I just had a little cough" but as Harry spoke things started to get blurry. He swayed a little.

"Harry you look rather pale are you sure you're fine?" Lupin asked looking worried. Harry nodded but that was all he seemed able to do. The room started to spin and Harry fell forward. Someone caught him and turned him around so Harry was lying on his back.

"I tell you I'm fine" Harry mumbled. Someone was talking but he couldn't understand what he or she was saying. All of a sudden Azalea's voice was clear in his head.

"Harry? Harry oh god it's you" her sweet voice said "Oh my are you ok? I feel something wrong, Harry how are you feeling? What is wrong?" she said

"Oh Azalea" Harry said his voice was weak "It's been so long since I've heard your voice"

"Too long" she agreed "but Harry are you ok? Something's wrong"

"I don't know what's wrong with me I was having trouble breathing and then the room started to spin".

"I hope you are fine but..." Azalea's voice sounded worried.

"What's wrong Azalea?" Harry asked. Even though he was talking to her he seemed to still see a blurry image of the ward.

"It's just that when ever you are close to death you see me," she said quietly.

"But in my room the first time I wasn't" Harry said shocked.

"The first time you were close to death in a way people were coming to kill you and it seemed that there was no possible chance of life. The only reason you survived was because of the will to live I had filled you with And then the second time you had actually died for those few minutes you were dead." The words were shocking but Harry realised they were only the truth. That would mean that if Harry could see her now he was close death.

"I love you so much Harry I need to see you, I'm so worried" Azalea sounded genially upset.

"Don't worry my love; I will be fine I'm finally back" he gave a weak smile.

"Are you sure?" she said worriedly.

"I'm with people who care about me now Azalea and Voldermort is in hiding. The only thing I have to worry about for the time being is the community" he gave a brief smile "at least there's no more physical pain for awhile"

"Promise me one thing Harry" Azalea said after a pause

"Anything" Harry said

"Promise me you'll never try to kill your self again" she said quietly. Harry took a little to long to answer

"Azalea I can't promise…" he said sadly

"Promise me!" she cut him off.

"I would never do anything to hurt you, you know how much I care about you"

"Then promise me you won't try and kill your self… please," she said weakly.

"I promise I won't try and kill myself again," Harry said.

"I'm sorry but I needed you to say it I love you so much"

"I know Azalea I love you to…I need to see you so bad" he confessed. "It's great and all hearing you but I have to see you I miss you so much"

"Oh Harry I miss you to" She said lovingly "and I will come and see you soon" she said gently "I just have to get the energy"

"Make it soon I don't know how long I can go without seeing you"

"I will, never worry or give up hope. You are finally free" he felt joy radiate from those words "You are with people who care about you, you no longer have anything to fear"

"Voldermort, I still have him to fear" he said quietly.

"You heard what people have been saying he's dead…"

"Do you really believe that? He isn't dead Azalea you know that as well as I do" there was silence. He heard a silent whimper.

"I did not mean to upset you I'm sorry…"

"It's not that" she whispered " I just so badly want to be there for you, I want to be there to make you happy to keep you safe"

"Azalea you are the only one who truly makes me happy" he gave a frustrated shake of his head "I hate it that you can only talk to me telepathically I wish you where here. I will free you Azalea, I promise you that"

"I know you will, I love you and everything will be…" The connection between them seemed to break and Harry was once again in his bed at St. Mungo's. A man was towering over him.

"Welcome back" He said. Harry jumped up scared. He looked around there were scared faces all around him, his friends. The towering man was Healer Munroe. Harry fell back down and relaxed. Harry's throat felt sore, he started to cough badly. The healer hit him on the back a couple of times. The coughing didn't stop till Harry's throat was roar.

"There's a lad," he said smiling broadly.

"What happened?" Harry asked. His throat sounded croaky.

"Your lungs got blocked up; you shouldn't have been running" he said, "a potion we had given you started to flare up. You almost suffocated." He had a funny look on his face "You shouldn't have been able to speak but you seemed to be having a conversation with some..."

"Thank-you very much for saving my life" Harry said he had been close to death like Azalea had said. They all heard what he had been saying but without Azalea's side it wouldn't make sense, at least he hoped not. He couldn't quiet think straight Harry tried to get up but felt exhausted and lay back down.

"You would feel pretty weak after that, I recommend a good sleep" he turned to everyone else "That means he can go home now but straight to bed he'll be to weak too walk, I would like to see him in a week to make sure he's okay". With a smile Munroe signed the form at the end of the bed gave it to Dumbledore and walked out. Harry sighed he was getting sick of blacking out.

"I'm sorry to have got you all worried" Harry said weakly.

"Dear it wasn't your fault we're just glad your ok" Mrs. Weasley said flustered "But if your not feeling well you will tell us straight away won't you?" she said giving an evil look.

"I promise" Harry said smiling he closed his eyes, "I feel like crap" he said to the boys

"No offence mate, but you look like it" Fred said.

"Who where you talking to?" Hermione asked speaking for the first time.

"No one!" he said a little to quickly and a little to loudly he quickly changed the subject. "Ah man remind me to never run again" he said clenching his fists nervously, he could feel all of them starring

"You give us a couple of hours and we'll make something for it" said George. Something was wrong they where all passing nervous glances.

"You are not testing one of your latest inventions on Harry" Mrs. Weasley said. But Harry just laughed. He listened to Mrs. Weasley getting up her boys and finally felt at home.

"Sweet dreams Harry" Lupin whispered awkwardly as Harry fell asleep.

Harry's sleep was filled with nightmares of the horror that had passed. When Harry did finally awake he looked around panicked as if his nightmares had followed him Harry woke to the sweet smell of food. Harry's stomach growled. He looked around and saw he was in his room at Grimruld Place; it made him think of Sirius. But Harry shook his head there's no time to wallow in the past he had to think of now. His stomach gave another growl, ok, ok right after dinner he promised himself. He found his trunk at the end of his bed he pulled out a towel and a change of clothes. He crossed the hallway to the bathroom. He walked in and locked the door. Dumping his clothes on the floor he walked to the mirror. Staring back at him was a very skinny, pale, beaten kid. He closed his eyes and went and had his shower. All he could think about was Azalea. There was a knock on the door.

"Harry dear dinners ready" Mrs. Weasley's voice said.

"Coming" Harry said as his stomach gave another growl. He dried himself and got dressed. There was a buzz of talk coming from the dinning hall. He pushed the door open into a room of about 20 people.

"Harry" an uproar went up they had been warned not to touch him.

Mrs. Weasley came through the crowd "I'm sorry dear when they heard you were well they just had to come see for themselves" she said apologetically.

"It's fine, don't worry about it" Harry said he hated being touched and in such a crowded space it couldn't be helped. He tried to act calm in front of the others. After about five minutes though they caught on and stopped touching him. He found a seat between Ron and Hermione. She hadn't been at Grimruld Place today because she had an interview with some private school. She assured him that she wasn't going to leave him and Ron all by themselves at Hogwarts. Dinner was two roast chickens and a roast pig. Harry stuffed himself. He realised that Mrs. Weasley had warned everyone not to ask Harry any questions, and he was thankful. He wasn't ready to talk about it. Harry noticed they all hung on his every word and every action; some even seemed to not believe it was Harry sitting in front of them. Harry tried to act as if everything was back to normal. But as hard as he tried he still was very distant from everyone. What he had been through had changed Harry as it would any man. He kept loosing track of the conversation because his mind was in another place. He was thinking about Azalea. He missed her dearly and wanted to learn more about her. But he couldn't shake the thought that whenever he saw Azalea he was almost dead. Was she his angel of death? Would he only see her again if he died?

At dinner Harry noticed that Ron and Hermione were acting strange to each other. Ron kept going red when there hands accidentally brushed. And Hermione wasn't as talkative. He knew something had happened between them and he smiled; Ron and Hermione who would have thought it? Even though it was a shock, it was still a pleasant one. He elbowed Ron and smiled.

"What?" Ron said looking at Harry.

"Don't give me what I can see how you and Hermione are looking at each other. What happened?" Harry said smiling. He just blushed and looked at his knees. "Well?" Harry said prying for more details.

"Well what?' Hermione asked, "What are you two talking about?" she said innocently enough.

"I was just asking Ron about this new Gryffindor seeker, what was his name?" Harry said with a big grin. He would find out the details tonight.

"Oh... um... Kale DeAngelis" Ron said. Harry dropped the glass he was holding the smile dropping from his face. DeAngelis that was the same last name as Azalea.

"Are you ok dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked. Harry blinked a couple of times and looked around him like he had just realised where he was, everyone was looking at him. He looked down at the table and realised he had broken a glass.

"Um... fine" Harry said picking up the pieces of glass. He stood up "I'm sorry" he mumbled and took the pieces of glass up in his hands. He went to take the pieces to the kitchen when Mrs. Weasley suddenly had her hand on his forehead.

"You look pale but you don't have a temperature. What's wrong?" she said looking worried.

"Nothing I just dropped a glass and I'm probably pale because I haven't seen the sun for a couple of months" Harry said, he seemed to loose his temper very easily lately.

"Harry your paler then you should be what's wrong?" Mrs. Weasley asked ignoring what he had just said

"You don't need to think that I'm about to faint or something just because I dropped a glass, it's not your business to worry about me 24/7 your not my mother" he realised just how harsh those words just as he said them. "I didn't mean that" he quickly said. Her eye's where getting glistening with tears. He pushed past her to the kitchen in frustration. The door banged shut behind him. He chucked the pieces of glass into the bin and they made a loud clatter. He was really stressed for no reason all night he'd been really jumpy.

"What's wrong with me?" he said his hands on the bench. He took a deep breath.

"I can't go back in there" he said and ran up to his bedroom he knew by the silence in the dinning room that they would be able to hear him go upstairs. When he was in his bedroom he collapsed on the bed. He was slightly panting. He's just been getting angry for no reason and he can't figure out why. Harry remembered why he had dropped his glass, Kale DeAngelis. It may be the same last name but it doesn't mean that they're related. Harry was over reacting, but deep inside Harry felt something familiar about this guy. He felt like he knew him even though he hasn't met him. Harry got up and sat on the windowsill in his room and stare out not actually seeing what was out there. He had to meet this boy; he didn't know why he just did. A couple of minutes later there was a knock at the door, Harry didn't move. The door opened he heard it click shut, footsteps walked over and stopped just behind him. Harry still didn't move.

"You shouldn't have snapped at Mrs. Weasley like that," Lupin said in a quiet voice. "She was just worried about you" Lupin sat down next to Harry on the windowsill. "Do you want to talk about it," he asked looking out the window. Harry sighed

He didn't know why but for some reason he couldn't hold it in any longer. "You don't know how I feel, I've been through hell and survived" Harry said it all rushing out. "I prayed that someone would save me but no one came. I had given up all hope, you don't know what it's like hoping for someone to come and they never do. I even started to try and kill myself but in the end I didn't even have the strength to do that" Harry took a deep breath. "Then when I came back I find out that they weren't even trying" he felt a lump rise in his throat. "Now, all the people I ever loved seem meaningless because deep down I can't shake the feeling that when I need them most their never there" he took another deep breath. "So down in the kitchen when Mrs. Weasley was fretting over me because I dropped a glass I sort of couldn't take it. I didn't come back to be treated like a baby, I know I shouldn't have gotten that angry over such a little thing but lately I've just had no patience. I keep having mood swings" He looked at his hands "I know you want me to do well at the hearing but I did do an illegal curse and it killed someone so I want to go to prison to do my time. I don't want to be treated differently I want to be punished when I do something wrong" Harry said truthfully. "What would you want done to someone who had killed using an illegal curse?" Harry asked wanting Lupin to talk.

"You may have done a bad thing but you have been punished enough. You were tortured Harry, for six months don't you think that is punishment enough?" Lupin said. Harry had never thought about it that way. He just stare out the window.

"We are all worried about you, but for Mrs. Weasley it's different to her you are like a son. Imagine what she went through. After you were gone for 2months they declared you dead. We all went to your funeral" Lupin sighed "it was a great shock to find you almost dead at you-know-who's Head Quarters. We were so happy that you were alive but it didn't last, as soon as we brought you back you fell into a coma" he paused for a second. Harry realised how much Lupin had been upset about it all. "We came everyday hoping you would come back to us knowing that everyday could be your last" he stopped, there was a lot of emotion put into these words.

"But it's alright now your back and healthy and as soon as you are ready you will go back to school and everything will be back to normal" he said wiping away a tear. "I am truly sorry for what you went through and I will try my hardest to make sure no one puts a hand on you from now on" he said.

"Thank-you I know you are a true friend and make a great uncle and I apologise for snapping at Mrs. Weasley, I don't think I'll go back down though I might just stay here" Harry said quietly.

"I am honoured you think of me as an uncle and I understand that you would like to stay up here" he said standing up. Harry stood up and hugged him; they just stood there for a while both of them didn't seem to want to let go. Lupin understood how hard it was for Harry to touch people and seemed to be savouring the hug as if it was his last but Harry finally pulled away not able to stand the human contact for any longer. "I best go back down and assure Mrs. Weasley that you are ok" Harry smiled at Lupin, he could sense that Lupin would remember that hug even though it only lasted a couple of seconds. Lupin smiled back as he left the room. He really did have true friends.

About half an hour later he heard the ruckus of people leaving. He heard footsteps up the stairs. There was a knock at the door Harry stretched and walked over. It was Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred and George.

"Can we come in?" Hermione asked. Harry smiled and stood aside. They all piled in.

"I'm sorry about losing my temper with your mum" Harry said quietly.

"You should probably tell her that" Fred retorted.

"Yeah you pulled a Percy mate" George said. There was an awkward silence at Percy's name. 'They don't know what's happened to their brother' Harry thought now is not the time to tell them.

"Harry don't worry after Mr. Lupin had a talk with you he talked to Mrs. Weasley and dinner carried on" Hermione said reassuringly.

"But mum sounded as if she had a cold" Ron said "But don't worry we don't think it's your fault you've been through a lot" Ron added after he received a glare from Hermione.

"I wonder if I can use that excuse with Snape next time I flunk a test?" Harry said with a fake smile. The others smiled.

"I can picture it now" Fred said he put on a voice "But sir I've been through a lot with your old boss, can't you give me a brake?" He said in a whimpering voice.

"Man if you tried that Snape would bloody hex you" Ron said. They all laughed even though his heart wasn't in it he still felt happy to be sitting here laughing with his mates, it was so different it felt almost unreal.

"Do you think I should go down and apologise?" Harry said looking at the door.

"Oh not on with mum again, she's fine apologise in the morning" Fred said.

"Ginny, Hermione could you excuse yourself for a second we would like some guy talk with Harry and Ron if you don't mind" George said.

"What could you have to tell that we couldn't hear?" Ginny said suspiciously.

"Fine maybe Hermione could tell us what her and my little brother have been up to this summer?" Fred said with a big grin.

"That's none of your business" Hermione said hotly, but she still grabbed Ginny and dragged her out of the room. Fred, George and Harry burst out in laughter; Ron threw a pillow at them. Bad idea, this stated a massive pillow fight. Once that had finished they all surrounded Ron.

"So what did happen?" Harry asked smiling. Ron stayed quiet and went even redder.

"Well what we know is that Ron and Hermione spent your funeral after party together" said Fred.

"Where they snuck off together for about an hour" George said

"When they came back a great deal of Hermione's lip gloss was around Ron's mouth" Fred sniggered.

"Ron you dog" Harry said. They cracked up laughing.

"It's not like that" Ron said angrily.

"Then what's it like then?" Fred asked. Ron just stayed quiet which was answered by more laughter. They all enjoyed themselves at Ron's expense until there was a knock at the door.

"Come in" Harry called. Hermione and Ginny entered. The boys looked at each other for a second. Then Fred whistled 'hubba, Hubba" they all cracked up laughing. Hermione walked over and hit Fred across the head, they all went quiet scared that she was going to turn on them.

"You've got a keeper there Ron" Fred said rubbing his head.

"So it's true Hermione?" Harry said "but I thought you had a thing for Krum?" Hermione blushed

"He was just a friend" she said to her lap

"So was Ron" Harry said and they all cracked up again. Hermione went as red as Ron.

"Lay off guys' Ron said. The boys only jeered more.

"What about your love life Harry?" Ron asked looking at him suspiciously.

"I don't think I have one at the moment, I've been out of the game for a while" Harry said looking around, dead give away that he was lying.

"Oh come off it Harry when you where in a coma all you did was mumble some girls name, who is she?" George said. They all looked at him but Harry wasn't going to say anything.

"When we took you back to your ward after you did that little runner, remember how you had that little breathing problem the next day?" Fred said

"All you seemed to be able to do was talk to some chick, so we want to know who is she?" George said. Harry was expecting Hermione to tell them not to ask but she was just as interested.

"I know I should get up you for prying but I have to admit I'm rather interested myself" everyone spun around there leaning against the door was Lupin standing next to him was Mr. Weasley. They all turned back to Harry.

"She isn't any of your business" Harry said not looking at any of them.

"So she is real' Fred said

"How long have you been going out?" George said.

"Look I'm serious this is none of your business" Harry said firmly.

"What? I think our boy got rejected" Fred said to his twin

"Why else would he be so serious Fred?" George replied. They smiled at each other.

"She didn't reject me," Harry said angrily before he could hold his tongue.

"So you've been getting a bit of action?" Fred asked. Harry decided to shut up maybe they would leave him alone. But they seem to have taken his silence as a yes.

"So you have, is she pretty?" George said.

"No I haven't not in the way your thinking and it's none of your business" Harry growled

"So she's not a looker don't worry we understand" Fred smiled.

"You don't know beautiful till you've seen her" he said angry at the idea they thought Azalea wasn't a looker thinking of how beautiful Azalea was, Harry smiled to himself.

"So we think rather highly of her do we?" Fred said. Harry picked up a pillow and chucked it at Fred's head. He fell backwards.

"It's none of your business, I've told you too much all ready" Harry said stubbornly but Harry was embarrassed to hear the quiver of fear in his voice.

"Harry?" Hermione asked they had obviously heard it to. Harry just sat there with his arms crossed, very mature he thought mentally rolling his eyes.

The others finally got the hint he wasn't going to say any more so they gave up. Lupin stepped forward. Harry had forgotten all about him.

"We will discuss this later but for now, Harry would you mind coming downstairs Dumbledore would like a word" Lupin said. Harry stared at him for a moment wondering if he should refuse. It was a stupid idea. Harry just took a deep breath and got up.

"All of you can go to bed now" Mr. Weasley said to the others as Lupin led Harry out. Harry slumped his shoulders and dragged his feet.

"Harry why so glum? Dumbledore just wants to talk with you" Lupin said.

"Well I don't want to talk to him" Harry sulked. He really didn't he knew what Dumbledore wanted to talk about and Harry felt it made no difference if he knew what had happened to him. He didn't want to be pitied.

"I know Harry, but he is worried to. If Dumbledore knew what has happened to you he may be able to help stop it from happening to anyone else" Mr. Weasley said. Harry snorted.

"How is he supposed to help complete strangers when he can't help his own friends" Harry replied sourly. They didn't continue they must have realised there was no point. They led Harry into the dinning room Dumbledore was at the end on either side of the table was Mrs. Weasley and McGonagall. Mr. Weasley sat next to his wife while Lupin took a seat as far as he could from Harry, guilt in his eyes.

"You wanted me" Harry said quietly.

"Please sit down" Dumbledore said waving his hand to the seat at the end of the table. Harry hesitated for a moment then took the seat he had been offered he sat on the very edge as if he was about to jump up in a rush he made sure they noticed. Harry tried not to look at any of them. He waited patiently for someone to speak.

"As you know there will be a hearing on Thursday, we think it best that you tell us what happened now so we are prepared. I know it maybe hard but we do really need to know" Dumbledore said, Harry heard sadness in the old wizards voice. He took a deep breath and looked up. Everyone was watching him but Harry just look at Dumbledore.

"No" Harry said simply. Whatever they were expecting it wasn't that. They all looked shocked.

"Harry I know it's hard but you must tell us it is of great importance" Dumbledore said.

"You don't really know how hard it is, you may think it is of great importance that you find out what has happened to me but I'm sorry I do not feel the same way" Harry said calmly. Harry looked at them for a little while no one said a word his chest was heaving up and down not from nerves but from fear. They didn't make any sign of noticing but Harry knew it was clear to them fear was bathing off of him.

"If that is all I would like to go to bed" Harry sighed as he went to stand up. He could sense the others at door and he noticed the worm like cords for the extendible ears.

"That is not all you are not leaving I'm sorry till you tell us" Dumbledore said sadly. "We need to find this out; we need to know if anyone is in danger, what information you've given him. There could be others like Neville that you have put in danger" that hit Harry like a blow in the chest but not as bad as what he said next "If you are not willing to tell us we may be forced to make you" Dumbledore said sadly. Harry looked at them shocked no one said anything. Lupin went to say something but was stopped by Dumbledore's gaze. No one else made the slightest protest, Harry could sense a great need coming from the people in front of him, they weren't lying they would force him; Harry stood so fast his chair tumbled over backwards.

"Why? Why do you want to know so badly? Would you really force me too tell you?" Harry said his voice higher then usual. He looked around no one spoke but he realised they were serious. Harry took a deep breath.

"No … no you wouldn't you're my friends, you're the closest thing I've had to family you just can't turn your back on that can you?" Harry said backing away "You promised me" he spat at Lupin, Lupin had tears going down his checks but didn't move.

"I'm sorry Harry but it is to important that we find out, a lot has happened since you left" Dumbledore said quietly he couldn't bear to look at Dumbledore. Now that Harry actually looked at them he realised that they did look different, they were all skinnier and not as cheerful. Most of them had added on a few more grey hairs and had extra wrinkles.

"What could of have happened in the last seven months that was so bad that you would all turn on me!" Harry said disbelievingly. Harry's voice was getting louder the more devastated he got.

"The ministry of magic was attacked half of them joined Lord Voldermort the rest were killed" Mrs. Weasley said to the table eyes not focused.

"Percy's joined lord Voldermort" Mr. Weasley said.

"I am sorry about your son…" Harry started but Mrs. Weasley interrupted.

"He is not my son!" Mrs. Weasley said firmly.

"I am sorry you feel that way. I know all about what has happened and all about Percy's case how do you think I knew there was a new minister, I even told you I saw it happen. Don't you think I would of saw how Voldermort forced Percy to throw that Killing Curse at you?" Harry took a deep breath. "Lord Voldermort gave him a choice. He offered him a place on his side and if Percy refused Voldermort had said he would hunt down and kill everyone of his family. So before you decide to disown your son get all the facts, he only joined him to keep you safe" Harry said disgusted that Mrs. Weasley would say such a thing, he ignored their shocked expressions and carried on.

"Percy found me and had tried to help me escape. Lord Voldermort caught us and… and he killed him in front of my eyes" Harry ran a hand under his shirt, when he started to speak again it was more to himself then them. "What Percy did wasn't exactly easy, he wasn't killed by just picking me up and carrying me to the front door" Harry pulled up his shirt. Showing the cris cross of white lines, there where still dents where the flesh had been ripped off. "Percy found me in my torture chamber" Harry's eyes where unfocused staring at the scars. "He had to rip the chains off of me, the flesh had healed over them" Harry took a gulp of air and put his shirt back down. "That's how Voldermort found us, I was dripping blood and the trail led them straight to us. He killed Percy, I could still feel the warmth of the killing curse as it had went past me, I layed in agony staring into his eyes. They wher – where so, so scared. There was nothing I could do he was already pale with death" Harry's voice shook. "He took me back to my chamber. He then broke both my legs, slowly" Harry said tears on his cheeks. Mrs. Weasley started to sob uncontrollably.

"Why are you crying like you said he is not your son!" Harry yelled as another tear rolled down his check he added coldly "and neither am I".

"Potter that is enough" McGonagall snapped at him. She was very pale.

"What is your excuse professor?" Harry said rolling the word as if it where a curse.

She hesitated, "I was one of the people who had survived You-Know-Who's attack I was there while he murdered the family I was staying with in the rooms at the ministry I witnessed the deaths of my family" McGonagall said a tear rolling down her cheek. Harry felt another tear roll down his.

"You think that is bad? Seeing your family die in front of you? Well try watching everyone die, Voldermort made sure I was able to see everything! I watched as witches and wizards… NO…. MEN AND WOMEN" another tear "AND CHILDREN WERE KILLED! Every single one of then!" Harry was shouting.

"Before you start thinking your life is so messed up you selfish old fools" he couldn't speak he was crying too much. He took a gulp of air "try and think about other people, (sob) I went through things a hundred times as worse as you (sob) and now that I come back I find out all my friends have turned on me! (sob)" Harry said loudly.

"That's nothing, you've seen a couple of strangers die, we had to watch our families die our friends knowing we couldn't do anything!" McGonagall shouted angrily.

"You think that's all I went through, that all that happened was I had to sit around and watch children with there mothers tortured till they lost all sanity yeah that's nothing for a 15 year old to see because hey they were all strangers!" Harry shouted. "Well guess what I had to sit through interrogations where I was tortured for hours, where I took every single blow because I knew if I told them they would come and they would kill every single one of YOU!" Harry took a deep breath "THEY BROUGHT THE DURSLEYS IN, THEY ASKED ME QUESTIONS THAT I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO ANSWER BECAUSE OF OTHERS SAFTEY. I HAD TO SIT THERE WHILE HE USED THE CRUCIO CURSE ON THEM, I LISTEND TO THEIR SCREAMS I WATCHED THEIR FACES AS THEY DIED KNOWING IT WAS MY FAULT!" Harry screamed at the people standing in front of him.

"That is enough!" Dumbledore roared rising to his feet.

"YOUR RIGHT IT IS" Harry yelled at him, he stormed off to the door Dumbledore had put a locking spell on the door. Harry just waved his hand and the door flew off its hinges with such force that when it hit the wall it smashed into pieces. The others scrambled away scared, Harry ran up the stairs. Ms. Black had started screaming "SHUT UP" Harry yelled at her as he ran past.

He slammed the door to his bedroom and just stood there for a moment fist clenched he felt power running through him. The lights started to flicker the globe above Harry's head blew showering him with sparks. Harry picked up the lamp from the table and threw it at the wall he then grabbed the desk and with all his might tipped it over. He went about smashing everything he could get his hands on.

Puffing and crying as he slid down the wall he wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his head into his knees. He just sat there crying he wasn't ashamed he'd been through a lot and it just seemed to be getting worse. He hit the ground with his fist. Pain shot through his knuckles. He looked down at the shard of glass. He picked it up in his hand and stared at it. Harry then placed it on his wrist and dragged it up his arm. He put it back on his wrist and did it again and again and again till he couldn't do any more. He watched the blood pump out of his wrist in rhythm with his heartbeat. Curling up into a ball, no more tears where shed. A pool of blood slowly surrounded him. His eyes where half closed and he couldn't see anything in focus. Harry heard his door click open and a scream but he just lay there felling nothing. All he could think was 'she didn't come' he felt his hearts yearning 'she really was just a dream, I really am all alone' as he passed out waiting for death to consume him.

Harry tried to move his arms but something was stopping him. He didn't really care. He weakly opened his eyes. He was in a padded cell, the reason he couldn't move was that his arms was because he was wearing a straight jacket. He just sigh not really caring.

'So I didn't die' he thought 'once again I wasn't allowed what I wanted' he closed his eyes again 'when will they finally let me die?' He went back to sleep a sleep that was haunted by nightmares.

When he awoke again days had passed but he no longer cared. There was no past, no present, no future there was only despair. He didn't even bother to move, his joints stiff. He was under the impression that someone comes and checks on him but he paid it no heed. Whenever he slept it was a fitful sleep of gruesome horrors. He just wanted to be dead and his lack of energy forbid him to try again. He was so sick of trying. The nightmares just got worse and worse till it gave him the power to try again. There was a single bed, a chair and a desk in the room. Under inspection he realised they where bolted down.

Two days later a human confronted him for the first time. It was a female healer.

"Good morning Mr. Harry I've heard you have finally been moving around" she said smiling pleasantly. Harry didn't move, just sat against the wall on his bed. She lay a tray of food on the end of the bed and sat down next to him. She had chestnut brown hair and a nice figure that was modestly covered in her white gown.

"Feel like having something to eat?" she asked. Still he didn't move. She picked up a peace of bread and dipped it in some honey. "Come on you must be hungry you haven't eaten for a week" she said holding it against his mouth in her slim fingers, still he didn't move. He had blocked out all emotion, he was nothing but an empty shell. After a while she gave up and said a pleasant goodbye, Harry still didn't move. After she left he forgot all about her visit, the only thing he was dimly aware of was the sweet taste of honey.

She came three times a day for the next two days and always he didn't move, not accepting any food. Her visit's started to cut back and by the time the first week was over she began to only come once a day. His strength was wanning but after the long months of one meal a week his stomach was used to it. It was taking too long to kill him.

He awoke at midnight on the 9th day at the asylum from yet another 's dream

He realised that the dream was a premonition. Azalea would try and help him and his friends would kill her, just like Percy had been murdered it would be his fault. Harry knew that, that dream had been his last straw. It had finally filled him with the will to kill himself again. He knew the healers would be coming to see why he had screamed so he had to hurry. He wasn't going to be able to live with them so close anyway.

Mrs. Weasley was staying in the guest quarters and visited him once a week but every other day just looked through the glass. If his dream was a premonition that meant that Azalea was going to come here. As much his heart yearned to see her, to prove to himself that she was real he couldn't. If he was alive that meant she would come after him, that meant her life could be at risk, he had to do it, he had to kill himself.

He put his hands over the bolts and they unscrewed themselves. He pushed the bed across so it was blocking the door. He looked out the little window in the door and saw right down the end of the white hall three healers where coming. He didn't have much time left about 5 minutes but it would be enough. He focused his energy and the buckles at the back of his jacket undid themselves. He tied the sleeve around his neck and using his magick again made the screw turn itself through the material. Now the only way to get the sleeve from his throat would be to rip it off. There wasn't much chance of that the material was strong.

He grabbed the chair with one hand and swung it round so that it was in the middle of the room (he had already undid the bolts). He stood on the chair and reached up to the ceiling holding the other sleeve he had two screws in his hand as well. The screws screwed themselves into the ceiling. The jacket was pulled tight and he was on the tips of his toes. He heard banging and saw the healers at the door. He closed his eyes and started to wobble the chair, it fell over with a crash. Harry dangled there, kicking his feet. He heard the door crash open, too soon. He was just loosing consciousness.

It took 30seconds to suffocate someone despite how long they could hold there breath and the healers had made it through the door in 15seconds. Harry cursed himself as a healer shot at the jacket, it immediately started to burn and Harry fell to the floor coughing.

"WHY WONT YOU JUST LET ME DIE!" he screamed from his core but no words came from his lips. He didn't want to face anything and luckily he didn't have to as he realised he was loosing consciousness. But he wasn't so lucky healers turned him over and started giving him CPR he coughed up and was breathing fine enough. Fuck, he thought.

That night he was immediately taken into counselling, Healer after healer tried to get him to talk. But he ignored them all, he wasn't quiet sure but Dumbledore had come in once or twice. If Albus had expected special treatment he was terribly disappointed, Harry showed no acknowledgment towards Dumbledore, no anger no hatred, no sadness. He remained his empty shell in utter silence. They had forced all types of potions down his throat, which he had not moved and nearly chocked on, as they forced them into his mouth.

On his 15th day a scream echoed through the hallways. Harry's head snapped up. 'It couldn't be' he thought furiously. Moving for the first time in over a fortnight, he got to his feet and banged on the door. He knew that scream, he knew it oh so well. Ever since his little hanging trick a guard was positioned at the door. He opened the door to shocked to do anything else. This was a patient that hadn't moved in the whole time of his stay here and now he was banging on the door?

"What's wrong?!" he said scared. Harry pushed past him, the guard immediately started to chase him. Harry heard him call for backup through an intercom system but Harry just kept running. 'Oh god don't let my dream be coming true' there was no doubt in his mind that, that scream had come from the women he loved. He was coming to the reception desk, he felt her. He didn't know how he could but he could just feel her emotions close by. She felt desperate and scared.

At the reception desk he saw the red top of Mrs. Weasley and the grey of Dumbledore. There where the big silhouettes of healers but he didn't care about any of them all he cared about was the slim figure of a beautiful blond girl. Her blue eyes filled with fear and pleading as the Healer's moved in closer.

"You must let me see Harry he needs me" she pleaded to Dumbledore.

"You refuse to tell us your name and you won't tell me why you want to see him. I'm sorry but there is no possible way, you will make his state worse, you are a possible risk and a suspicious character you will come with us for questioning" Dumbledore said, the healers moved closer. She stepped back scared.

"Please" she said weakly "I'm the only one who can help him"

"I doubt it my dear girl, he is beyond help" Mrs. Weasley said sadly. Harry stopped only a few feet away. "He has not spoke a word in sixteen days, he has only moved once and that was an attempt to end his…" Dumbledore waved his hand silencing Mrs. Weasley.

"What have you done to him to put him in such a state?!" she said outraged. Both Dumbledore and Mrs. Weasley looked at the ground silently.

"If he will not speak and dreads life so much because of your actions, that he would break a promise to me…." She stopped lost for words tears of frustration and pure sadness coming down her cheeks. No longer able to hold himself back he ran forward shouting his very first word in 16 days. They all turned around at the sound of running footsteps.

"Azalea!" he called in want. Tears streaming down his cheeks, she met him half way. They grabbed each other in a backbreaking hug.

"Azalea, I thought you wouldn't come I was so alone. All of them turned on me and I couldn't stop myself and…and I missed you so much" he cried into her, he heard her sobbing as well. "I wanted so bad to see you that I had to break my promise, oh Azalea I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry I tried to kill myself twice. I just couldn't stand it here any more and when you didn't come I thought you weren't real. I thought my heart was breaking in two" they where forehead to forehead looking deeply into each others eyes sobbing. "Please forgive me I just couldn't stand it" he said hand on each cheek, he couldn't stop the physical contact even if he wanted to, he needed to touch her to reassure himself she was real.

"Oh Harry of course I forgive you. Please forgive me I tried so hard to come to you that night but I couldn't I only just got here 5mintutes ago, I've wanted so bad to be with you I drained myself almost completely just to come now. I knew I had to come as soon as I could". He couldn't resist it any longer. He closed the few centimetres between their lips and kissed her. He just stood there his lips pressed against hers. He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. He then lifted her up and spun her around.

"You're really here" he laughed. A smile was on her face. He put her down and pulled her tightly against him "don't ever leave me" he said into her neck.

"I wont" she said holding him just as tight.

"Don't ever leave me" he repeated.

"I wont, I wont" she said back to him. She leant up into his ear and whispered "Do you feel the energy" she said in awe.

"I feel it" he nodded. Ever since he had kissed her he could feel magick building up in both of them. He felt invincible. He turned form her to the startled on lookers.

"Set up a hearing date in the daily prophet and I will come" he said smiling completely normal as if the last almost 8months hadn't happened. Better even. "I'm sure it is her wish for my name to be cleared" he said looking down at Azalea, she smiled up at him. He rubbed his nose against hers. Pure affection in his eyes, she nodded in encouragement.

"Wait where are you going?" Dumbledore said confused.

"Get something to eat I'm starving" he smiled at Azalea she nodded.

"You're hardly in the condition to go any where" Dumbledore said.

"Well there's only so many times I can attempt suicide before I succeed" he said to them "ouch!" he said as Azalea bit him, anger flared in her eyes.

"You will not try anything of the…" he cut her off with a kiss and hugged her tight

"Let me finish" he laughed. "And that is what I will keep trying to do if I stay here" he sigh. "Azalea is the only one I have and if you take her away from me then you will feel my wrath" he said suddenly cold. "I don't even know how good you are Albus, for all I know you are working for Voldermort himself" Everyone's eyes opened wide "someone who spends 6months with someone learns a few things, I am just warning you Dumbledore. Do not cross my path again, you have stabbed a dagger in my heart and I have information that will return the favour" Everyone turned to Dumbledore.

"What are…." Harry cut him off.

"I know more ways then brute strength to win a fight, watch your step" Harry said through narrowed eyes. "OUCH" he called out starting to hop "Azalea?!" he said in mock horror ruining the moment.

"Apologise!" she said firmly standing their arms crossed.

"But…" he went to protest shocked.

"No buts Harry you have scared the man, you will not be laying out false accusations and getting him into trouble. This is not the way Harry, revenge is not the way"

"But because of his actions my last remaining friends turned on me, I tried to kill my self twice because of that man" he said pointing at Dumbledore "the man you love could be dead right now! Is that what you want!?" Harry sounded furious.

"Remember who you are speaking to" she said quietly. And he immediately did remember.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"You know what he did was out of a pure heart, he was concerned for others safety" he looked at her sceptically. "Harry you know he wouldn't do anything of the sort, like working for 'He-Who-Shell-Not-Be-Named'. He cares for you, think about how much sadness it has brought him to do that to you. Instead of having strangers surrounding you forcing you to tell them about what happened, he chose to use your friends, your family" Azalea pleaded coming closer to Harry her hand caressing his cheek. "He knew that what had happened was terrible and revealing it would be hard so he chose for your sake, to let you confide in your friends. So they could be there for you but you refused and he was desperate". She looked understandingly at Dumbledore "I admit he went the wrong way by it but he was doing it to protect you, to protect others" she said now inches away. He sigh and put his hands around her waist he went to kiss her but she turned away "you will apologise to him first" Harry look at her shocked and knew that it was the only way. He sigh and turned his head to Dumbledore but didn't look at him.

"I'm sorry" He whispered. "And I ask you all to not mention to any one what you have witnessed today. By that I mean you are not to mention Azalea to anyone" he lent down and kissed her gently and that was the last they saw of the couple, for they appaperated into a whirlwind of white rose petals.

A/N- Azalea is back and Harry hates Dumbledore. Will Azalea really get him out of his suicide phase and what of the hearing?Next Chapter

"Harry Potter" came the call again. He turned and walked towards Kale.

"Ready?" he said, Harry could only manage a sigh. They walked into the hall Harry suddenly felt all eyes on him. The door started to close behind them; Harry had one last look at freedom before the door closed.