20Authors note: Hi guys! This is not only my first RemusxSirius story, but my first Harry potter fanfic. Actually it's my first Fan fic like EVER! So please be nice, and lots of reviews would be lovely and I would love you forever! Okay so this is aslash story so please be warned! Don't like Slash, don't read okay? And no flamers thanks!
Story summary: welcome to the sixth year of Hogwarts, in the marauders rein! Remus is struggling with the reality of being a werewolf, and as further tragedies occur can he survive intact? Sirius is worried about his friend, and has problems of his own. Can they help each other through it? Rated a T to start with, may change!
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Harry potter, and though I may want a Sirius all of my own I can not have one! Remus Is not mine either! See you can't sue me! Hahahaha!
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Remus's pov
Remus sighed as he glanced out of the common room windows. There he could see the moon between the clouds, almost full. And when it was full…well he would change into a monster wouldn't he? He sighed and dragged his haze away from the terrifying beauty of the moon, and looked at his friends.
The Only people left in the common room now apart from him were his friends James, Peter and Sirius. James was talking about Lily as usual, while the others tried to listen, but it was one o'clock in the morning, and they has heard it all before; James and liked Lily since second year, and now 4 years later he still hadn't got over it.
"I mean you could do worse than me right?" James said glancing around at them hopefully, in the dieing glow of the fire
"Well, yeah you could, but she hasn't realised that has she?" Sirius drawled as his head leaned on Remus's shoulder. Sirius was a very contact-y person. He was almost always leaning on someone or had his arm around them, and Remus knew that most of the girls in the school would love to be him right now. Sirius was basically the hottest guy in school and half the girls (and some of the boys, if they admitted it) fancied him, and how could you not, Remus thought glancing down at his friend. Dark hair that always looked perfectly scruffy, dark grey eyes, surrounded by long lashes, and cheekbones to die for. Let alone the fact that he was 6'2 , strong, with some muscles, played beater of Gryffindor Quidditch team, and was down right funny and charming.
"Remmie, what do you think?" and Remus glanced up, and realised that they were all staring at him, and blushed slightly.
"I agree with Siri on this one. Though I reckon that she might go out with you, if you stop going around hexing all the first and second years. That might just help" James sighed and pushed a hand through his messy black hair.
"Yeah, but they are just so tiny…." He trailed off, and picked up another chocolate frog from the pile in the middle of the table, and tossed some to the others.
"Wait just a minute" Sirius said slightly alarmed "just cos James has to stop, do we have to as well? No more hexing Snape!" he looked up pleadingly at Remus "Remmie you can't mean that? Please can we keep hexing him? Pretty please?" he batted his eyes and pouted slightly. Remus felt his heart skip slightly. Must be the worry about the full moon, he thought confused slightly. He ruffled Sirius's hair slightly, and grinned.
"You would just carry on whether I asked or not, so why bother?" a brief look flickered over Sirius's face, but was replaced by the trade mark crooked grin, before Remus could understand what it meant.
"If you asked I would Remmie, but it would be so so hard. So Please don't" Remus nodded, then dragged his gaze away from Sirius and turned to regard the fourth member of their party.
"Bit quiet aren't you Wormtail?" peter glanced up from the parchment he had been frantically scribbling on, and his nail bitten fingers held the quill tightly.
"I just don't get it" he burst out; when they all raised their eyebrows questioningly he gestured to the parchment and book in front of him. As much as he was a sweet boy, he wasn't smart at the best of times, but when it came to things like transfiguration and potions he was abysmal. "You guys seem to get it immediately, without even trying and I struggle it just isn't fair" his rat like face screwed up a little, as if her was fighting tears. Remus felt Sirius tighten slightly; he hated over dramatic shows of emotion, he wasn't raised to them and they made him uncomfortable. But he took a deep breath and winked at peter.
"Oh Pete, we don't get it that easily, and you are better than at us in a lot of things but if…you know…you are really struggling…you can ask Remus!" Remus swatted the top of the other boys head as the James, Sirius and Pete laughed.
"Poor Remus!" James spluttered. But Remus just put a hurt expression on his face and looked at the them sadly
"Oh is that the only reason I am useful? To correct homework and figure stuff out from? Isn't that lovely, and here I was thinking you guys actually liked me, well I just am going to-"
"-What!" Sirius said loudly outraged "Remmie no way. I love you to pieces" again Remus felt his heart skip slightly, but ignored it "and so the others! What else would we do without our friendly werewolf?" he pulled back from Remus slightly, and hugged him.
"Yeah, we do appreciate you Moony "said James, smiling as he watched his two friends hug tightly.
"I'll be fine!" peter said, smiling weakly. Remus pulled away from Sirius and smiled down at Wormtail.
" don't be silly Pete, I wasn't serious" he gestured at the book next to peter, as James snuggled back down in the chair to write a letter to Lily, and Sirius snuggled closer to Remus's shoulder, his eyes closing as he dozed.
"Do you get it now?" a slow light dawned in Pete's small eyes as it finally became clear. Thank god! It was now 3 o'clock in the morning and he wanted to go upstairs and curl up in his covers and just fall asleep.
"Thanks Remus!" the younger boy said smiling happily, as he signed his name at the end of the essay. Remus just gave a small smile, and rubbed his eyes. James had had gone up an hour ago, giving up after the sixth attempt at writing a letter to lily (their remains lay in the fire), and Remus felt slightly sorry for him. He really liked Lily, had for a while, but lily just didn't seem interested. Okay, that was a major understatement, considering that the last time that James had asked lily out she had hexed him so badly that his nose had been purple for a week. She and Remus were close friends being the Gryffindor prefects though; perhaps he could have a word. After gathering up his supplies peter ran upstairs, leaving Remus to wake Sirius.
Sirius had fallen asleep in the sofa, leaning against the cushions. Remus regarded him smiling slightly. Sirius looked so sweet when he was asleep, his dark hair falling across his face, and a slight frown on his forehead as he dreamed. Remus didn't want to wake him up, but the others had scarpered so it looked like the job was left to him, and besides Sirius would be stiff if the morning if he slept down here. That would make him grumpy and a grumpy Sirius was not something anyone would want to handle, even Remus. He placed a gentle hand on the other boy's warm shoulder and shook it slightly. Sirius just groaned but didn't wake up. Remus knelt down next to the prone boy, and grasped his shoulder in a slightly firmer grip.
"Siri" he whispered softly "Padfoot?" Sirius's only response was to grab hold of Remus's hand and pull it closer. Then abruptly his grip got a lot tighter, and Remus winced, as Sirius tossed his head from side to side dreaming.
"REMUS!" he said, his eyes flying open, and there was genuine fear in his eyes. He was gasping, and his jet black hair was damp with sweat. His grey eyes flickered frantically around the room, before settling on Remus's face. He grabbed hold of Remus's shirt with his spare hand and dragged him toward him, sitting up in the process and held him tight. Remus returned the hug, holding the bigger boy close, and stroking his back, as he shivered, and was that…no it couldn't be…was he actually crying! Sirius never cried Remus had never seen him shred a tear since first year. But he knew better than to ask just then and instead just held him closer, slowly stroking his back and his hair, as he made comforting noises. They sat there for a while, in the soft glowing light and heat of the fire, and just held each other. This is so comfortable Remus thought drowsily. The feel of his warm arms was so nice, and right, he just wished that they could be like this more, and that he and Sirius both could let down their walls. Then gently, as if reluctant to move out of the warm embrace Sirius gently pulled away and leant back against the back of the sofa, and placed his head on his raised knees. Remus leaned back next to him, and looked over questioningly, not saying anything, knowing that Sirius would talk about it if he wanted to but if he didn't then pressuring wouldn't work.
"Sorry Moony" Sirius said, his voice slightly hoarse, and filled with an emotion that Remus couldn't quite place. "It was just a dream is all" he shuddered slightly, and then glanced over.
"You sure Siri?" Remus questioned uncertainly, "something more than just a dream isn't it?" Sirius's face went blank, and he broke eye contact, instead staring into the dying flames.
"It was just a dream Remmie all right?" he said firmly, then stood up rising fluidly, stretching slightly. He started up the stairs that lead to the dormitories, and then turned as if realising that Remus was still sat there, a hurt expression on his face. Sirius smiled, and sighed extravagantly as he came back over, and took hold of the smaller boy's shoulders firmly.
"If it was something to worry about, I would tell you okay Remus?" Remus nodded, even though he wasn't happy. He had thought that he and Sirius were friends, and weren't friends supposed to tell each other everything, and he couldn't pretend that he wasn't a little bit hurt. I'll worry about it later, he thought firmly, as he covered a yawn. Sirius saw it and smiled, slinging an arm around Remus's shoulders and leading him up the tower.
Later that night as he lay in bed however, Remus pondered what could be bad enough to make someone like Sirius cry. And why had he refused to tell him what it was? Probably, Remus pondered as he finally felt himself drifting into sleep, the most important question of all was why was it his name that Sirius had called out in terror?
Well did you like it? It's the first I have ever written so please be nice, and review, I need to know what you think. See the button is just there you know you want to push it…go on….anyway thanks for reading and I hoped you liked it! I will update soon!