A/N: Sorry for the delayed update. ) Major writer's block, I'm tellin' you. That and I've had a lot of stuff to do. Forgive me! –bows low- Anyway, thanks again to Amberhawk and all who reviewed. You keep me going. Love you all!

Disclaimer: Colt .45

P. S. Fanfiction kept telling me that I was uploading an empty document. Am I the only one having this problem or is it others? Please tell me!

When Remus reached the top of the Astronomy Tower, the world had taken on a strange blur. The stairs seemed more like a gray waterfall than stone; the leaves on the trees were just large patches of green, just color instead of object. He settled himself on the floor, shielding himself from the wind, now officially alone with his thoughts.

He had never really had much luck with the opposite gender; strangely enough, not one of them liked the mysterious type of guy. They wanted to know everything about everybody and they'd just push, push, push until he cracked. Even his first kiss came with a price. But, at twelve, everything came with a price, didn't it?

"I'll kiss you if you tell me where you go every month."

"But…Katherine, I can't…there's nothing to tell. My mom is sick. That's all."

She pressed her lips against his, a soft fleeting touch. "Now you have to tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything." Why couldn't she just let it lie?

"Then I don't have to be your girlfriend." Away she stomped, gold hair swinging in that ponytail she always wore. The happiest week of his life…ruined.

There were other girls after that: Alicia and Jennifer. They weren't much different. Not like Sirius and the other Marauders. Even though they found out on their own, they took his secret and accepted it, because they knew the person behind the monster.

They really were the best friends you could get.

But Sirius…he was always special. Always the first to be there at the hospital wing, the first to casually take his books after the full moon. Sirius and James may have been the best of friends, but Remus always thought they shared something special. Was it because all these acts of kindness were so subtle, you wouldn't notice them? Was it because he caught the peculiar look that crossed Sirius' stormy eyes before he asked him a question? It was like a math problem, long and complicated, but he couldn't seem to find the solution. Why did everything have to be so difficult? Did these things actually mean something?

Most of all: what did it mean to him?

I don't know what it means to me, he thought irritably. That's why I'm here. Trying to sort myself out. It's not working. I can see that. This is getting you nowhere, Lupin! Now, think: how much do you like Sirius? Well, he's kind, he's charming, he's confident and not to mention gorgeous! That's what you like about him, you stupid git. In general, do you like him? By 'like'… You very well what you mean. I think so…I mean, I haven't loved a guy before – But you've loved a girl? Well…no. Does he make your heart flutter? Um… Do you stare at him like he's the only one on earth? Sometimes. Do you find him beautiful? …Yes. But, then, so does everyone else. That doesn't mean I love him. It could. Do you feel as if you couldn't live without him?


True, he had often thought about what would happen if he and his friends were separated. He couldn't deny that he felt a little ill when he thought of Sirius disappearing from his life, but pegged it down to something funny he ate at dinner. Besides, Sirius more than likely didn't feel the same way. But a man who changes girls like shoes must have something to hide. Maybe, maybe. He would try to find out when he was turned back.

Meanwhile, it would be in his best interest if he thought of something for James. Hmm…

Commence operation: Show Lily You're Not a Complete Prat