Title: A matter of trust.
Disclaimer: None of the characters from Desperate Housewives belong to me. Sadly. They are the property of Marc Cherry,ABC and Touschstone Television.
A/N: Considering that I have have watched the episode called Guilty (season 1) at least a hundred times on my dvd, it´s actually pretty weird that I haven´t written a fanfic about it before. I just LOVE (yes, capital letters) the scenes with Mike and Susan in this episode. Anyone who says that those two dosen´t have chemistry is clearly blind. Or just plain stupid. I hope that you are neighter... Anyway, I hope you like my first shot at Desperate Housewives fan fiction.
They where laying on her bed in silence, their body's glistening of sweat. Their clothes lay on the floor, thrown there by inpatient hands in search of naked skin.
It was almost dark, the pale light coming from the moon the only source of light.
He was tracing patterns on her back with his fingertips, causing goosebumps to appear on her skin. She was laying on top of him, her head on his chest, his heartbeats thumping in her ear. She could feel his chest move when he breathed and for a fleeing moment she considered moving of him,giving him an opportunity to breathe properly without her weight crushing him.
As if he had read her thoughts he pulled her closer to him and she felt a kiss on her forehead. His lips lingered, as if he was breathing in the scent of her skin.
She sighed, feeling deliriously happy. She lifted her head and found him looking at her, a small smile playing on his lips. His eyes held so much tenderness that she felt tears coming to¨her own eyes. How did she get this lucky?
He noticed her tears shimmering in her eyes and the smile died on his hand came up to cup her face, the thumb caressing her chin, worry replacing the tenderness in his eyes.
- Is something wrong?
The sound of his voice send shivers down her spine. The things he had whipered to her, just moments before...
The worry now evident in his voice when she didn´t answer.
She smiled at him, a tender smile, while she took his hand from her face and held it to her mouth, pressing a kiss a the the middel of it. When she released it, she saw the desire flickering in his eyes.
- I´m fine Mike. In fact, I´m more than fine. It´s just that I don´t know... She sighed again.
- You don´t know what?
You want a list?
- How to describe what I feel.
Truth be told, Susan Mayer knew exactly how to describe her feelings. She was in love. But it was to soon for that kind of talk. The relationship was still to new. To fragile.
And Mike was a man full of secrets, some of witch, she was sure, could breake her heart.
The smile returned to his lips and his eyes softened, the desire still evident as he continued stroking her back.
- Tell me you´re happy.
- I am.
- Good. He pressed another kiss to her forehead. - So am I.
The silence fell between them again as they lay there in dark, listening to each other breathing.
He sounded like he was on the verge of falling asleep and she bit her lip, trying to sound like the nerves that was forming knots in her stomach wasn´t there.
- You are the first. After... After Karl.
Her ex- husbands name left a bitter taste in her mouth. She didn´t want to remember him now, didn´t want to remember the last time they had been together like this, in this bed. But the memories kept coming back, the pain of his betrayel still fresh in her mind. The scars on her heart was still raw.
She knew that Mike wasn´t like that, knew that he wouldn´t cheat on her with some blond bimbo with breast the size of footballs and a brain as big as a grape. He didn´t cheat, wasn´t the kind of guy that could hurt the woman he was involved with by sleeping around. Sex actually ment something to him. He didn´t sleep with someone he didn´t have feelings for.
She kept hearing his words in her head, the things he had said the first time she found traces of lipstick on his shirt.
"It didn´t mean anything, it was just sex. Come on baby, you know that I love you. "
She had forgiven him that time and he had promised that he wouldn´t do it again, had sworn on Julie´s life that it was the first and last time.
But he had done it again. Countless of times. And her heart had been stamped on until it broke.
She couldn´t take that again. She couldn´t put her girl through that again.
But this was Mike. She knew him, loved him. He made her happy.
She wasn´t sure she should trust him.
He was a man and men had hurt her before. And they hadn´t made any promises to each other.
"I know you've got a lot of questions. And I also know I don't want to lose you. So ask me anything you want."
The word he had said to her earlier that night echoed in her head.
Maybe she should had taken him up on his offer.
She refused to look at him, refused to let him see the vulnerability in her eyes, knowing that he already heard it in her voice.
He put a hand under her chin, forcing her to raise her head and look at him.
- I´m not Karl. I´m not gonna hurt you.
You sure about that?
- Nobody means to hurt me. It just... seem to happen.
And she cursed herself when she heard how much she sounded like a sad little girl.
His blue eyes bore into her and she saw feelings there that she didn´t know how to interpret.
When he spoke his voice was low and intense and he used both of his hands to cup her face.
- You are the first woman I made love to since my wife died.
She didn´t know why she was so surprised. She knew that he still loved his dead wife and she was sure he missed her , as she just had told herself, he didn´t sleep with someone he didn´t have feelings for. She hoped.
But he was a man and men couldn´t so long without sex could they? And he was a good looking, sweet and humorous man. Women was drawn to him like bees to honey. She had seen it herself. Seen it and felt a pang of jealousy.
- Yeah. You are a man and...
She stopped, feeling stupid and self-conscious.
- And a man can´t go so long without sleeping with someone? He said dryly and raised an eyebrow.
She wanted to duck her head, didn´t want to keep looking into his eyes, but he wouldn´t let her.
- As I said, I´m not Karl. I only sleep with a woman I... He stopped suddenly, like he had said to much.
- With a women you what? she whispered, anxious to hear his answer, hoping against hope that he would day the words she wanted to hear. The words she had told herself was to soon to say.
He swallowed and looked away.
- With a women I... He sighed. - Look, I care about you a whole lot Susan.
Disappointment welled up in her and she tried to pusch it down.
To soon. It´s to soon. Who even knows if he feels the same way about me as I feel about him?
She gave him a smile that she hoped didn´t look to forced and leaned towards him and gave him a light kiss on the lips.
- I care about you too.
TBC... So what did you think? Reviews plz!