bDisclaimer: It's that time of year again. Shoddily done, low quality, and cliched. In my defense I forgot all about this and the date what with all the tests to take and papers to write so I was a bit short on time.
Another Black Halloween
It didn't take Xander long to find himself a toy pistol. Shortly after that he made his excuses and beat a hasty retreat, not able to stomach listening to Buffy gush over the dress, or rather not able to stomach the creature she was wearing it for.
Just as Ethan was about to make his offer, the blond in question was distracted by another costume.
"Willow, how about this one?" Buffy asked, pointing to a mad scientist's outfit. "It'd be perfect for you."
"I don't know," the shy redhead demurred.
"Your friend is quite correct," the cultured voice caused both girls to jump. "And she'd be perfect for the other costume in the set."
"The Doctor's outfit?" Buffy asked. "I don't know, I was planning on . . ."
"You wear that one and I'll wear the other," Willow offered.
"Deal." And just like that, the world changed.
Harry was relaxing in his inner sanctum, or his office as he'd mentally labeled it. Henchgirl always got huffy when he slipped and said it out loud. He'd just settled down in his favorite chair when the call arrived.
"Mr. Black," the Professor's voice sounded almost too calm through the portable floo connection. "Could you come down to the lab, please."
"What's up?" Harry asked.
"Henchgirl and the Doctor collapsed," the Professor reported. "Medical can't find anything wrong with them."
"I'm on my way," Harry growled.
Henchgirl smiled when the world blurred and reformed into something else. About time something like this happened to her, not fair that Mr. Black got to have all the fun.
The brilliant woman reached into her pocket and pulled out her Zippo. "Mr. Black, are you there?" She'd always wanted to be on the other side of things. "Any receiving station, this is Henchgirl. Please respond."
"This is the Doctor," her Zippo crackled. "Where are you?"
Henchgirl checked her Zippo. "Just down the street. I'll be there in a jiffy."
She was about half way to the Doctor's location when she came across an oddly familiar boy clad in olive drab fatigues.
"Hello," she greeted the boy. "Henchgirl here, who are you?"
"Lots of folks around here call me Joe," the soldier replied. "You know what's going on?"
"Not yet, come on."
"Any reason in particular I should be going with you?"
"You wouldn't leave a helpless girl like me alone and undefended, would you?" She batted her eyes cutely.
"I suppose not," the soldier laughed. "Lead the way."
Harry watched as the Professor first discovered and then traced the thin stream of magic anchored to his two friends.
"Hēurēka," the Professor shouted. "I've found them."
"How soon can you send me after them?" Harry asked calmly.
"Shouldn't be long," the Professor replied. "Not for someone of my genius."
The Doctor gave a friendly nod to the strange redhead in her friend's clothing.
"Henchgirl, I presume."
"Doctor," Henchgirl chirped. "You're looking shorter and flatter than your usual self."
"I'm not the only one that's changed their look. Who's the boy?" the Doctor asked.
"I'm not sure," Henchgirl admitted. "But it feels like I should know him."
"You might," the Doctor said calmly. "I did a quick check of myself when I arrived and I found that several memories didn't come along when I possessed my host. I believe that it's a consequence of the primitive nature of the spell."
"How come we get kidnapped by an incompetent idiot?" Henchgirl pouted. "The idiots that kidnap Mr. Black are always at least semi-competent."
"Gotta start somewhere," the Doctor consoled her friend. "Besides, I think having an incompetent idiot as our opponent could work to our advantage."
"We might be able to get to him before Mr. Black does."
"Or we might not because he'd be too stupid to cover his tracks," Henchgirl retorted.
"Then why try?" the Doctor grinned. "Why not just ignore the villain in favor of having a bit of fun?"
"Incompetent moron is beneath our notice anyway," Henchgirl sniffed.
"Not to mention the fact that dealing with him personally is a bit too . . . menial," the Doctor agreed. "Refined women such as ourselves have much better things to do."
"What do you suggest, then?" Henchgirl asked eagerly.
"First thing's first. We need to make sure these bodies don't retain any sensitive information when we leave."
"The information we don't delete will be stronger than would have otherwise been the case."
"Why don't we just delete everything then?"
"Because I, for one, have no desire to spend the remainder of the night as a drooling idiot."
"Do you want in on this?" The Doctor asked their green clad companion.
"Why not?" The soldier shrugged. "What do I have to do?"
"Just try to relax," the Doctor advised.
William the Bloody was puzzling over the message his insane paramour had shouted before she'd disappeared into the night when a flash of light and a boom of thunder disturbed his reverie. He'd just managed to regain his wits when he became aware of a stranger in their midst.
"Who in the hell are you, ya bloody wanker?" Spike demanded belligerently.
"Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste," Harry said with a grin, "you can call me Mr. Black." The vamps paled as Harry drew his wand. "And you can say goodbye."
The Doctor raised an eyebrow when her colleague squealed happily and darted into one of the town's numerous alley ways. She raised the other when Henchgirl returned with a bound and gagged captive.
"Look at this," the mad scientist chirped. "Have you ever seen one of these before?"
"Souled soulless vampire," the Doctor reported. "Fascinating."
"On with the vivisection," Henchgirl cheered.
"We can't do that," the Doctor said firmly, scandalized by the very notion. "The Hippocratic oath says . . ."
"What if we put him back together after we're done?" Henchgirl asked hopefully.
"Well . . . I suppose there isn't any harm in it if we put him back together afterwards," the Doctor said slowly.
"Mmmph?" the paralyzed vampire's eyes widened in fear.
"Just calm down," the Doctor told her test subject. "This won't hurt a bit."
"That's what she always says," Henchgirl confided. "Don't worry, the pain will go away after your nervous system overloads."
It didn't take Harry long to gain his bearings and figure out what was going on. He had a man to kill and an example to make.
"You know, Ethan, I thought no one would dare try something like this after the example I made last time," the voice in the shadows said calmly. "I guess I didn't make it memorable enough. We all learn from our mistakes, some of us more than others."
"Who's there?" Ethan asked nervously. "Show yourself."
"The name's Black, Mr. Black," a voice whispered into the chaos mage's ear.
"Wha . . ." Something caught Ethan's hand in a strong grip as he tried to spin around.
Henchgirl pumped a fist into the air and gave a triumphant yell.
"What'd you find?" The Doctor asked.
"Found the key to breaking the soul curse," Henchgirl reported.
"He needs to have consensual sex with a vampire slayer," Henchgirl giggled. "Whoever set this curse up wanted to make sure it stuck."
"Can you modify the key?"
"No, but I can add another curse. I'm also gonna make sure it's got a similar key, but instead of releasing his soul it triggers an explosive castration hex."
"Any reason why we shouldn't just dust the poor creature and put it out of its misery?" The Doctor was more then a bit disgusted by what she'd been able to deduce about the curse.
"I couldn't destroy something as unique as our newest specimen," Henchgirl squeaked, scandalized by the very notion. "I can't even conceive of doing something like that."
"Not until we're sure we've learned everything we can from it anyway." The Doctor sighed. Why did she have to be the only responsible adult in the group?
"Goes without saying. I suppose we can entertain the idea of destroying it then."
Gunshots and the sound of a man squealing in agony brought the two women back to the present.
"Leech managed to free itself, so I stopped it," the soldier explained. "Do you want me to shoot it again?"
"It would give us a chance to see if having a soul effected its healing rate," Henchgirl mused.
The Mayor was taking advantage of what should have been a slow night to catch up on his reading when he felt his wards shatter. Seconds later, he heard a polite knock on the door.
"Hello, Mayor," Harry said calmly.
"Well gosh, who do I have the pleasure of meeting today?"
The Mayor froze, praying to God that the being across the desk wasn't here for him. "W . . . w . . . what brings you to our fine little town?" he stuttered. It wasn't often that one was confronted by the all consuming darkness, it wasn't ever if a being was lucky.
"I came here to set an example for today's youth," Harry said. "It's in the newest costume shop. In return, I'll consider waiting until after your ascension to kill you, and It's even possible that I'll make it relatively quick when I do."
"Your mercy is boundless," the Mayor said quickly, making a mental note to change a few plans.
"Unless of course you do something that warrants my attention," Harry added. "Now then, I'm sure you'd like to get to it, so I'll be on my way."
Giles took a few minutes to contemplate the boy's account of the previous night.
"Do you retain any memories or skills from your possession?" The Watcher asked.
"Memories?" The boy laughed. "I remember crossing the Rubicon with Caesar, jumping into Normandy, the endless mud of no man's land, and the charge down Little Round Top."
"I see." The Librarian turned to his other charge. "What about you, Willow?" He nearly dropped his glasses when he saw the odd contraption she was working on.
"Could you hand me that rubber band?" The girl in question asked.
Buffy smiled when she saw her boyfriend cautiously approach. The possession had removed none of the girl's fascination with the souled vampire, rather twisted it into something else.
"Buffy," Angel said nervously.
"Angel," she replied.
"Well . . ." Angel froze like a rat in front of a cobra when he saw the look in her eye. It was a look that said he was nothing more than a mystery she wished to unravel, a look he'd first seen the night before. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay," he said quickly, backing out of the room as a trickle of fear urine made its way down his leg.
A scalpel appeared in the girl's hand as her grin deepened. "Angel, why don't we have a little discussion about your unique anatomy."
AN: Terrible, but I wanted to get something out for Halloween and this is it. Might have been better to leave off till next year and put out something of at least mediocre quality, who knows. Be sure to check out my profile. Follow the link and Bob's your uncle.
Polish by: incubusfox3
Typo by: wolf-in-hell