A/N: What the heck am I thinking? I'm too tired, my brain isn't working properly. I don't even know what people will think of this. Bleh.


"Hello, SS and D Babysitting services."

"Hello, I was wondering if you could babysit my child. I've been having a bit of trouble with him lately."

"That's not a problem, we have skilled staff."

"Yeah? That's good."

"How often do you need us to look after him?"

"All the time. Get the little shit head off my hands."

"(chuckles nervously), Can you tell me a little about your child?"

"Well, his name is Keith. He's an ass. Call him by his name and you'll get your ass kicked."

"Sir, can you tell me about his poor behaviour?"

"I am. Sometimes, you need to sit down with him and tell him to shut the hell up or he won't."

"Sir, that's not a problem. We have plenty of Children like that."

"Yeah? No, you've never had a kid like my kid. He's been in jail 4 times already."

"Sir, how old is your child?"


"Only 12 years old and already been to jail? I'm not sure if we can take this child, sir."

"Yeah? He's alright. Sometimes, you just need to sit down with him and tell him to shut up, or he won't."

"Yes sir, you already informed us of that problem."

"Did I? You'll need to search him for beer every day, or else he'll smuggle it, and get drunk out of his mind, and-"

"Sir, is this some kind of a joke?"

But Two-Bit's father wasn't listening. "And sometimes, if he just won't shut up, you need to sit him down and hit him. Don't be afraid to use a little force-"

A click could be heard issuing from the other end of the phone.

"Hello? Hello?" said Two-Bits father into the phone. "Damn bastard, now what am I supposed to do with him..." With that, his father sat down, beer in one hand, telephone in the other, and started to look again.