K this is a fic I wrote a few weeks ago but never had the nerve to post... Please once you begin to read this, read it to the very last word... The most important parts are at the end... It's told in Demeter's point of veiw... Very angsty... Review as of this is the fic Im most proud of and a style that I never do and character's relations that I've never really thought of before.



Sensitive word

A catch in your voice

Slow temper rise

Above the noise

My ear to the wall

I hear you laugh

Nobody hears

The other half

I know Intimate Secrets

Something about you

All your Intimate Secrets...

To bad it's all true

Everything spins

When you close your eyes

Nobody ever told you


How can I just watch your precious world

Scatter like a broken string of pearls?

I know Intimate Secrets

Something about you

All your Intimate Secrets

To bad its all true

Do you see through the wall that divides us?

Who hears who from behind the shelter that hides us?

Two closed doors and the floor below me

You walk by and just the same, you don't even know me

I know Intimate Secrets

Something about you

All your Intimate Secrets...

I know Intimate Secrets

Something about you

All your Intimate Secrets

To bad they're all true.

Every night I watch her in remorseful silence. Every night I watch him from afar, praying to god that it wasn't' true. And every night I cry silent tears for them both. I live for her, I've always lived for her and I always will live for her. She's everything to me. My family, my home, my shelter, my sister. I'd do anything in the world for her, but I'd also do anything in the world for him.

God, you'd think that I'd be happy about this-that I'd be jumping of the rooftops. That everything I'd ever wished had just come true! But that's not how it works for me. It's never how it's worked for me. You see, I know things dear sister. Things that would wipe that proud little smirk of your face forever. Things about you. Things about me. But mostly things about him… Things that would kill you if you ever found out. Things that could shatter your very reason for living. Things that would shatter your very reason for living.

It's late into the night now and the moon is full, and your there. To you right now, the night is a blessing. To me it's a mocking curse. You're the happiest I've ever seen you before. Your fur seems to be glowing more in the moonlight then it ever has, there's a certain smile lighting up your face that makes you look immaculately beautiful tonight. There's a reason for that though. Your there with him.

Is everyone in this bloody junkyard so blind? Do they have eye's at all? All they see is a queen. A queen who hates a golden spotted tom more then life… Who hates the tom you've chosen to give your love to. The only tom you ever will. You see, there's secrets out there precious sister. Secrets that shatter lives. Secrets that never should have be revealed. Secrets that you wished had never been revealed.

You grin as he wraps his arms around your waste and pulls you up against him. I hear you giggle as he whispers little words of romance into your ear. To you those words mean the world. To you, those words are the very reason there's breath in your lungs. But to me, those words are deadly. They're sinful. Did you ever even know every time he says he loves you, every time he kisses you, every time he say's he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, it kills me? It rips me in two?

You could have had any tom in the world! But out of all of them, you just had to pick him. The tom who you had to fight for to get. It cuts at my soul to know how hard you had to work. You love him. You love him and always will love him. He's your soul mate. You know it, he knows it, the whole junkyard knows it. Even I know it. I know you think that I hate him. That I think he's no good and you could do much better. That's not true. You couldn't do much better then him. There's no one out there that's better then him. Deep down I know he's caring. Deep down I know he'd never do anything to hurt anyone. Deep down I know he's mad about you. But why do you have to be mad about him? Your both so opposite. Both so the same.

You see, what I know about him, would ruin you. It would ruin him. Just like it ruins me. I always ask the Heavyside why I had to be the one to know the truth. Every night I pray that somehow, someway, he wasn't the one you wanted.

You see Bombalurina, I'm not the only golden goddess in the tribe. No, not at all. Grizabella, was also golden. But my father was a black. Black as the night. Your father was red. Red as crimson. Our mother's are the same dear sister, our father's completely different. Grizabella and I may have been the only golden goddesses, but there was another. A golden god. He was born just before me. Just before you. I had been born with black slashes, he with black spots. Both of us were born golden. Both of us were born related to you. I was given the name of the harvest. He was given the name of the gods. Black strips and golden patches are my trademarks. Black spots and a golden crest of long hair are his. We were separated before our eye's opened. Our mother Grizabella left us in the care of the tribe. He was raised as Deuteronomy's son, brother of the silver night. You and me were raised as the orphans, the two lonesome sisters. Never to know we were related to each other. You see Bombalurina, things aren't what they appear.

The tom who you love with all your heart, and the tom who loves you with all of his, is the same tom I love. The tom who you were never suppose to end up with.

Something shifts behind me, and an all too familiar presence washes over me. But I don't care. Not anymore like I used to. He's here watching you as well. He's trying to comfort me, trying to let me know that even though our lives are a lie, it'll be o.k.. Macavity may be cruel, but he does have a heart.

He comes almost every night to watch you and your lover. He comes almost every night to comfort me.

We both shift uncomfortably as we watch you both prance around love struck. It's almost sickening. As much as it hurts me to watch you with him, I could never let you know his identity.

It would kill you. And killing you would be killing me. I love you and I'd never want to hurt you. But not hurting you, is hurting me.

"Tugger asked her to be his mate?" Macavity asked as he watches you two run off to proclaim your love for the first time.

I nod in response to the question. Macavity looked away. He doesn't like hurting you either Bombalurina.

Tears were now forming in my eyes. Why did it have to be the tom you loved? Why did it have to be the tom I couldn't bare to see hurt? Why did you have to pick the Rum Tum Tugger for a mate?

Why did you have to pick my brother…. Your brother….

Things aren't always what they appear to be Bombalurina. But rest assured, I'd never hurt you. I'd never hurt him. I love you both too much but no one can no. You all think that I'm somebody shy and sincere, but that's you dear sister. I'm the one keeping the secrets. And even though you don't know it yet, I'm the one that's slowly killing you.

I know you love him Bombalurina, but its time to let him go…

I wonder what goes on in my mind sometimes. LOL I wrote this a few weeks ago but never had the nerve to post it. If you haven't got the hint yet, The Tum Tum Tugger is Demeter's brother... And Bombalurina's half brother, but no one know's except Demeter and Macavity. This may stay as a one-shot but I'd really like it to continue. Demeter's in a secret relationship with Macavity, and both are contemplating whether or not they should tell the tribe about Bom and Tugger... Please review, this is a fic that I really need feed back on. I've never written from someone's point of veiw before, and I need to know if thats how you do it because it's how the rest of the fic is going to be told if I continue it. PLEASE leave feed back, this is the fic I'm most proudest of so far.