Title: St. Patrick's Day Fun with Diane and Jake 1/1

Author's Name: Scott B. Smith

Author's Email: rating: T

Brief Synopsis: What happens when Jake's fun isn't Diane's?

St. Patrick's Day Fun with Diane and Jake




"What was that for?"

"Why'd you pinch me?"

"You're not wearing green."

"Jake! I'm not wearing anything."

"Yeah, my favorite…"

"Just because you woke up first, and dressed, doesn't give you the right…"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I thought it'd be a cute way to start off St. Patty's Day."

"I hate it! Dad always made me dress up as a leprechaun."

"Diane, I don't even notice…"

"I know you don't and I like that about you. Still I hate being reminded about being short. Now - Get - Out!"

Jake sat down heavily on his couch. "Damn; damn, damn, damn." He says to himself. He's had Diane mad at him before, but she's never kicked him out of his own bedroom before. He really thought today would be fun; dumb jokes, green beer and a bonny lass.

Diane erupted from the bedroom, "Come on." A chill swept through the room as Diane exited the apartment.

Jake caught up to her just in time to catch a ride, "Want to stop for pancakes?"


"Bacon and eggs?"








"Yes… dear?" He said hopefully.

"Be quiet."

"Yes dear."

Jake had once walked home from Fort Meade; this was a much longer trip.


As they passed the guarded checkpoint outside their division, Jake tried again. "How about a donut?"

"Let's just get our test over with. Ok Jake?"

"But it's 6:30!"

"The sooner we get through the better."

"No! Wait a minute. This has gone on long enough…"

"Be in the lab in 10." Diane interrupts, then continues on to her lab.

Jake just stands there, maybe a cup of coffee would make a good "I'm sorry" gesture.

"Trouble Jake?" Lou asks from his six.

"Yes. All I did was pinch her this morning."

"Are you in third grade?"


"Stop acting like it."

As she walked away Jake couldn't help but notice the forest green skirt she wore.


Jake stopped at the cafeteria for a bagel. He entered Diane's lab carrying a large coffee and a blueberry bagel. Setting them before a glaring Diane. "Here.

What?" he says pretending she had said something, "No, no thanks, I've had my fill of crow this morning."

Diane just sat there glaring.

Suddenly Lou's advice registers, "Diane, I apologize for pinching you this morning. It was rude, immature and insensitive. Will you please forgive me?"

Some of the fire left Diane's eyes. "I forgive you Jake. Will you forgive me for being such a witch about it?"

"Huh… Yes, of course. I hadn't thought you had done anything wrong."

"Get into your sweats so we can get you out of here."

"Tired of me already?"

Diane answered by taking a bite of bagel and smiling.

When 1:30 rolled around and Diane finally let Jake go he was beginning to wonder if he had been forgiven.

"Lou needs you pronto."

"Were all those tests necessary?" Jake gasps.

"Check your calendar. Same time each month, just like clockwork."

"Six and a half hours?"

"Next time bring two bagels when you get onto trouble. Now go."

Jake caught up to Lou in Sat Ops.

"Hey Lou, what's up?"

"Get changed and meet me in the gym for training."

"Lou…" Jake starts to protest,

"Double time!"


Three hour's later Jake was on his back counting Lou's.

"You're getting better Jake. Not much, but better."

"Thanks, I think."

"Go home Jake. Get some rest, tomorrow's another training day.


Jake was lucky Carver was going his way. Diane had already left by the time he had staggered into the lab, leaving him to scrounge for a ride. "Guess she's still a little put out with me," he thinks. Jake was glad Carver had spent the entire trip on her cell phone with her boyfriend. After thanking her he bought a couple or Reuben's from the deli and went up to his apartment. He hoped to find Diane, but no. When he tried her cell he'd found it on the floor by his bed. He never felt lower in his life, or more alone. Diane means the world to him; best friend, lover, doctor and future. He hoped he hadn't screwed that up this morning.

The gloom hadn't gone away with his shower. By eight she still wasn't answering phone in her apartment, so he just stretched out on his couch watching a "Red Dwarf" marathon. He was asleep by 8:20.

He was awoken 10 minutes later by a key in the door. Groggily he looks up as Diane strides in.

"You look beat."

"Lou's not called 'tankbuster' for nothing." He groans as he sits up. "I tried to call you."

"My cell phone is missing."

"It's in the bedroom. I found it on the floor so I put it on the charger."

"You're sweet. I'm sorry I'm so late, I had some shopping to do."

"Buy anything?"

"Well, I felt a little bad. I think I over reacted this morning."

"Can we just forget this morning? I really, really want to."

"Ok… Want to see what I bought?"


Diane opens her long coat, revealing a green macramé body suit and black stiletto pumps.

"You shop good!"

She lets the coat slide from her shoulders, gives a slow turn and smiles at Jake's grin. Moving forward she pushes Jake back on the couch. Pulling the towel he's still wearing from his shower away, she straddles his lap and kisses him.


"Right here."

"You're not wearing anything." She says smiling broadly.

"I know."

Diane purrs, "I mean, you are, not, wearing, anything."




Don't forget to review!