74It was exactly seventeen days later when Alyssa woke up. The surgery had gone fine; they had stopped the bleeding. But there was still the barrier that kept the Healers from trying to revive her so they let time take its course. Her body needed to rejuvenate on its own. Her eyes slowly peeled open only to wince at the blinding sunlight that was flooding the room. The first thought that entered her mind was that her chest felt incredibly heavy and she could barely move. She fully opened her eyes and took a deep breath and winced again as her chest started to throb. Her throat was dry and she coughed as she took another breath and looked around the room she was in.
Her vision was blurry for a couple of seconds until she raised her head and blinked a few times. She was in some sort of hospital room, she decided; for there weren't any other rooms that could be that white.
The door opened as she tried to sit up and the woman who had walked through shook her head disapprovingly.
"You don't want to be doing that, Miss." And she was right; Alyssa gasped and moaned at the pain that went surging through her ribs. She dropped herself onto her back again and closed her eyes. "You've got three broken ribs that are still healing."
"What?" Alyssa's eyes popped opened suddenly paying very close attention to what she was saying.
"It's about time you've woken up," the woman said, ignoring Alyssa. She was bustling through many vials now that were on the table across the room. She waved her wand towards Alyssa's bed which began to rise until she was in a sitting position yet still leaning back slightly. "You'll have to take these straight away; we haven't been able to do a thing while you were unconscious."
She walked towards Alyssa with three different vials. "What are those for?" Alyssa asked eyeing the vials.
"For your ribs, mostly," She said uncorking them, "but also for your head and abdomen."
"Why haven't you been able to do anything?" Alyssa asked; she felt like the only speaking she'd done in the past few days were just asking questions.
"The Healers have been saying that your powers built some sort of barrier and that we couldn't touch you with any type of magic." She explained. "They were having a hard time trying to fix you up before you got those stitches. But in the meantime, you better take these or it'll be much longer for you to recover." She waved her hands around motioning to the vials and Alyssa took them without hesitation.
"Visiting hours are starting soon," She said looking at her watch, "I wouldn't be surprised if someone came to see you."
Alyssa ignored that bit of information. "How long have I been unconscious?"
"Seventeen days, miss."
"S-seventeen days?" Alyssa asked dumbfounded, her jaw fell slightly opened. That was two and a half weeks. How much had she missed? What about school? She'd be screwed now, for sure.
She nodded in return before heading towards the door, "I'll bring you back some food, I expect you'd be starving."
Alyssa sat in the silent room; how the hell could she have been unconscious for seventeen days? She rested her eyes again running her mind through what happened that night. It quite literally felt like it was yesterday… but over two weeks had passed. Soon the nurse came in again accompanied by a hovering tray of food. Using her wand she directed it to Alyssa's bed where it hovered awkwardly above her lap. Alyssa eyed the food; she was still trying to register how long it had been since she was last conscious.
"You really should eat, Ms. Bennington. You need your strength."
Alyssa struggled to shove herself up the bed high enough to be able to eat properly. She ran a tired hand over her face only to feel something graze over it. She looked at both her hands to see that they were both wrapped up tightly in gauze. She didn't need to ask what it was from; it wasn't the first time her hands were damaged from her powers. She dismissed it and raised her fork to start eating the food in front of her. The nurse had been right; Alyssa was starving.
The hour until visitors started showing up had been dreadfully slow. Alyssa couldn't go back to sleep even if she wanted to. There had been too much running through her mind; like the fact that the Dark Lord himself was now dead. She could feel a mental weight being lifted from her shoulders at the mere thought of it. She put her fork down after finishing the meal and let her head fall back on the pillows.
Forgetting about how much she hated hospitals would be something that'd never happen. Alyssa had been there numerous times when she was a kid, mostly because of her dad. Between the period of time where he had become a Death Eater and when he had actually left the family, she had to deal with being a lab rat to him. Brad was too old by that time that he'd actually be able to defend himself so it had been Alyssa's job. Alyssa had to play it off like she was just playing too roughly with the other kids she knew; neither Brad nor her mom had found out Brian was a Death Eater when Alyssa had, and it had been quite some time before they would.
It would be putting it lightly to say it was a huge relief when her dad finally left. The only catch, of course, would be that they couldn't tell anyone where he was. He was obviously a wanted Death Eater but if they wanted their family to be safe and never hear from the Death Eaters they had to keep their mouths shut. That little deal had obviously ended this year.
Alyssa sighed and watched as the clock ticked by. The door knocked and she didn't say anything as the nurse walked in, but was surprised to see that the nurse was not alone.
"Brad," Alyssa said, she didn't have the strength to shout but the look on her face let him know that he was extremely welcomed.
"You're awake," He breathed. He rushed passed the nurse and came to her bedside where he tried his best to hug her without moving her around too much. "You had me worried." He cracked a smile but his voice shook as he spoke.
"I'm sorry," She replied. She tried to sit up more but winced and forced herself to stay still.
"Are you okay?" Brad asked immediately. He pulled up a chair to her bedside and sat down next to her, taking her hand in his.
"I'm fine, just a bit sore." She closed her eyes but tightened her lips to reassure him.
Brad nodded, "You got beat up real good. We thought they'd heal you in an instant but then they brought up this barrier nonsense… if they hadn't got you that Muggleborn Healer in time," He stopped himself and shook his head instead not wanting to even think of what he was going to say.
"Has it really been seventeen days?" She asked, still stuck in disbelief.
"Seventeen dreadful days… everyone's been crazy; the whole world is starting to change now with Voldemort gone. There've been loads of reporters trying to get in here. Y'know – get a word on how you're doing, details of that night. Everything has mostly been hushed up except for the deaths and all."
"Deaths? As in plural?" Alyssa's stomach filled with dread, hoping she was really the only person who got hurt. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if something had happened to someone she knew. Brad opened his mouth to answer but turned around as the door opened again. This time Harry and Remus walked into the room and they both exclaimed in the surprise of seeing her awake. They asked – only to be expected – the same 'are you okay?' sort of questions that Brad did, and Alyssa figured she'd be answering those types of things for a long time.
Remus and Brad eventually left to take care of business back home in America, leaving Harry and Alyssa in the hospital room alone. To her it felt like a comfortable silence but he seemed troubled by something.
"Are you okay Harry?"
"I hardly think that I should be the one answering that question." Harry said scoffing.
"I'm okay, really." Alyssa urged. "I'm sore and everything… and I'm pretty tired, but other than that I'm fine."
Harry shifted in his seat and looked uncomfortable. "It's just… when I killed – well when I did it, I thought it'd be over. I didn't think anything else could happen… it was a foolish thought. The next thing I knew, I was holding you in my arms bringing you here and I couldn't help but think that you were – that you were…"
"That I was gonna die." Alyssa finished for him; Harry nodded.
"It was just something that I never imagined happening. That's not something I want to think of ever again."
Alyssa nodded, completely agreeing. "I thought that, too. Earlier that day was the first time I realized that it was a possibility and after Lucius, I heard the curse and saw the green light… I thought I was dead."
"You heard the curse?" Harry asked, a frown forming on his face.
She nodded again. "I was barely aware of what was going on. The last thing I really remember clearly was stunning my dad and letting Mrs. Weasley take care of the rest."
"You stunned your dad?"
"Yep," Alyssa quirked her lips, "Now he can stay in Azkaban where he belongs, along with Lucius and the rest of those stupid Death Eaters."
"About Lucius…" Harry said suddenly. Alyssa looked over curiously. "He's dead."
"Lucius is dead?" Alyssa asked, shock registered on her face. "How did he -" But she cut herself off before finishing the question, realization setting in. The killing curse was aimed for Lucius… but who…
"Draco killed him." Harry added quietly, answering her question.
"Whaaat?" Alyssa sputtered, completely dumbfounded now.
Harry nodded and spoke slowly, "He watched as Lucius attacked you, as he stabbed you… almost immediately he shouted the curse. None of us were expecting something like that from him. It shocked us all."
Alyssa squeezed her eyes shut. Draco had killed his own father. "Oh my God," She said loudly. She didn't know if she should think of this as a good thing or not. On one hand, an evil Death Eater was now dead and would no longer be hurting anyone (more specifically, Draco), but on the other she knew Draco would be affected badly by this. From how she learned the way his mind worked, it seemed that he'd soon think of himself as a murderer and that he really had ended up like his father. Alyssa paused at the thought; how could she still possibly think that she had an idea of how Draco's mind worked? The way he was acting this year, everything he'd told her was all for show and what she thought she knew was really a lie. Who knew what was going through Draco's mind now?
Harry stayed with Alyssa for another hour or so before he too had to leave. Visiting hours ended later as well, so she knew there'd be no one else to see save for her annoying nurse. She had been extremely happy that day to see Harry, Brad and Remus. But somewhere deep down she was strictly wishing to see a certain someone.
Two days later Alyssa woke up in the middle of the afternoon after only a few hours of sleep. The only way she had fallen asleep earlier was from dreamless sleep potion, but even that didn't last long on her. She sat up in her bed, wincing slightly, but it was nowhere near as painful as it had been. She threw her covers off of her and touched her feet to the floor. She wobbled a bit on her feet; it was the first time she had been standing in nearly three weeks. Her vision blurred but she ignored it and walked to the window to gaze out of it. It was a bright and sunny day, and there were crowds of people walking through the streets… she needed to get out of there; out of that hospital. She ran a hand through her hair and turned to walk to the table and drink the glass of water. As she chugged it down her nurse walked into the door and gasped when she saw Alyssa out of bed.
"What are you doing?"
Alyssa looked down at her hospital gown wondering how many stares she'd get once she was out of there. "Where's my brother?" she asked.
"Ms. Bennington, I strongly advise you get back into bed."
Alyssa ignored her and took a step toward her, "I'm leaving."
The nurse visibly sputtered and shook her head, "That's not possible; you're ribs – they need to-"
"If I'm able to stand I'm able to get out of here." Alyssa said. The nurse opened her mouth to say something but, impatient, Alyssa shook her head and made her way to the door. The nurse tried blocking her path before Alyssa waved her hand and immobilized her. She moved around her with ease and walked out of the door.
She had never been in St. Mungo's before so once in the hall she had no idea where she was going; hopefully someone she knew was close by. She walked down it in bare feet and tried to ignore the people who would repeatedly stop and stare at her as she walked by. She reached the end of the hallway and looked around until she found a door that led to the stairwell. She walked down one flight and continued down that hallway until she reached what seemed to be a cafeteria. It was filled with people eating food and once she took two steps in people stopped what they were doing and turned to look at her.
Alyssa looked around the room until her eyes landed on Brad. His back was facing her so he didn't know she was there until she approached him. She stood quietly at his side until he looked up.
"Alyssa!" He choked on his drink and shoved himself out of the chair causing a loud noise to erupt through the room. "What the hell are you doing? Are you okay? You really should be in bed,"
Alyssa ignored him and said, "Brad, get me out of here… please."
She could tell by the look of his face that he was reluctant to do anything; yet it was hard for him to say no. Brad also knew how much she had hated being in hospitals so he nodded his head once before grabbing her hand and leading her out back into the hallway. He took off his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders before walking her down a few flights of stairs and taking her outside.
"I'll apparate you into Hogsmeade; we can get to Hogwarts from there. Hopefully no one will take too much notice." He said as they walked quickly side by side.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I hardly doubt it's surprising to you to find out you've been in the paper almost everyday for the past two weeks." Alyssa nodded her head, feeling somewhat violated yet knowing that it should've been expected anyway. "Are you sure you're okay? You just took the medicine for your ribs… I'd understand if you were weak, you don't have to go back to school."
"Brad," She said once they stopped outside the doors, "I need to go back… the hospital has done nothing but make me think of what happened. I need to be at Hogwarts." Brad nodded understandingly and wrapped his arm around her before they apparated away.
They appeared in Hogsmeade a second later and Alyssa wasn't surprised to see that it was filled with people.
"We're not too far into town so not many people will be able to see you." Brad said. He kept his arm around her and steered her down a path that would eventually take them back to Hogwarts. "Just so you know… classes will have ended by the time your in there. You're bound to be seen and… I just want you to be prepared, is all." He looked down at her to see that she was paler than usual, "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine… just tired." She said looking back up at him as they neared the entrance to Hogwarts. She smiled as if trying to prove her point but he looked sadly at her. Her eyes roamed back to the castle, instantly warming at the sight.
"I just wish you'd gotten dressed before you broke out." He said with a smile, "You're going to make quite the scene." And he was right. The entrance hall was packed with students and as the doors opened and they stepped inside, nearly every one of them turned to look at her.
"I guess you were right about that." Alyssa whispered through the corner of her mouth.
Someone shouted 'It's her!' and some of the students even started to clap.
"Why are they clapping?" Alyssa asked furrowing her brows.
"Because you helped end this war," Brad answered as if it were obvious.
Alyssa shook her head, "No I didn't. I didn't do anything but get hurt." Brad frowned at her and rubbed her arm soothingly before someone shouted her name. She looked up to see Hermione and Ron pushing through the crowd trying to get to her.
"What are you doing out of the hospital?" Hermione asked immediately.
"Can we please get out of here?" Alyssa pleaded.
"OY! Piss off, you lot." Ron shouted at the students who were pushing up towards them and Colin Creevey could be seen pulling out his camera. "Get out of the way!" He shouted again before grabbing Alyssa's hand and pulling her through a gap in the crowd. Brad covered the rear as they filed through to the end of the hall and Alyssa couldn't help but run her eyes through the students – looking for even a shimmer of blonde.
Her attention diverted completely once they were void of the crowd. Brad, Ron and Hermione surrounded her as if protecting her from any prying eyes as they walked through the hallways.
"Are you even allowed to be out?" Hermione asked again.
"Just look at her, 'Mione. She's still in her hospital gown; what do you think?" Ron said.
Hermione slowed her pace down, "Maybe this isn't such a good idea… you could still be healing."
"I'm fine," Alyssa insisted. "I just need to rest." She ran a tired hand over her face only to find that her forehead was hot and there was a thin sheet of cold sweat covering her face.
"Are you okay?" Brad asked quietly as he noticed the gesture. Alyssa nodded but he wrapped an arm around her shoulder once again, holding her close and supporting most of her weight. Alyssa realized they were headed into the direction of her bedroom, and subconsciously her heart started to speed up; she was half hoping – half dreading the thought of a certain someone already being there.
But those thoughts were squished as they stepped into an empty common room. It didn't look any different from when she had been there last, maybe a bit cleaner. She looked silently around the room before taking Brad's cloak off and handing it back to him. The others watched her as if expecting her to faint right in front of them but she barely made any movement. She ran another hand over her face and sighed heavily as she looked at her wrapped hands. She impatiently ripped the gauze off of them and dropped the shreds to the floor before flexing her fingers in front of her face. They looked perfectly fine, no sign of injury.
Alyssa left the others to go into her room – that may have been the only thing different. None of her clothes were on the floor; they must've all been back in her trunk or hung in the closet. Her bed was made and the curtains were pulled aside; it looked like no occupant had ever lived there. She opened the closet – she had been right about the clothes – and pulled out a fresh set of pajamas and slowly changed into them, slightly wincing as she lifted her arms over her head to put on the shirt. She shrugged the shirt on the rest of the way, and patted down the bandage that was on her abdomen to try and make it look less obvious. It had been complete silence for the past few moments so her ears pricked as conversation rose up in the other room. She sighed and sat down at the edge of her bed; everything, it seemed, would be changing.
There was a soft knock at the door and Alyssa looked up in time to see that it was slowly being pushed open by Harry.
"You really are here," He said as he walked towards the bed and sat next to her. He didn't wait for her reply before wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug.
"Gently, Harry." Alyssa said as the air was squeezed out of her body and her chest ached. She smiled at him as he pulled away bashfully.
"So you broke out, did you?" Harry said with a smirk while adjusting his glasses.
Alyssa nodded, "I can't stand hospitals; and as long as my ribs are okay I don't need to be there any longer."
"The bruises are still there." Harry said bringing his hand to her cheek.
"Nothing healed while I was out… and I wasn't there long enough for them to heal the rest of the bruises." She shrugged remembering how the Healers had explained the whole barrier thing to her.
Harry wrapped his arm around her and rubbed her arm, "Are you feeling okay?"
"Just tired; I feel like it's been such a long day…" Alyssa raised her hand to cover her mouth while she yawned.
"You should probably rest." He suggested.
"I was asleep for more than two weeks… I think I can manage," Alyssa said sarcastically. "Ugh, that reminds me, are there classes tomorrow?" Harry nodded, "Great. That'll be fun catching up."
"I'm sure they'll understand if it takes some time."
Alyssa shrugged before pulling out of Harry's arm and lying on the bed. She sighed heavily already feeling her eyes beginning to droop. Sunlight was still pouring through the windows, though not as bright as it had been.
"You ready to sleep?" Harry asked smiling down at her.
"Maybe I'll rest for a bit." Alyssa reasoned. Her eyes opened as the bed shifted as Harry stood up and suddenly began to feel uneasy. "Would you stay with me?" She asked quietly; Harry stopped his movements looking as if he was taken aback. "Not the night, just… until I fall asleep?"
He smiled at her and said, "Of course." as if he had already made the decision of staying with her before she even asked. He took a few steps towards the bed and leaned down to gather Alyssa in his arms. He lifted her slightly so he could untuck the covers and moved them out of the way before setting her back down. She made herself comfortable under the covers and he followed suit by getting in next to her. Since the injury to her ribs, Alyssa had become completely accustomed to only being able to lie on her back; it was no different that day. She sighed as the bed fitted to her body; her bed was one of the things she had missed most.
Harry wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head above her shoulder. She would honestly have no complaints if this was how she could sleep for the rest of her life. Being in Harry's arms was like being in her safe haven and was only further proven by the night he had taken her to the hospital.
"Are you comfortable?" He asked quietly, his breath brushing her neck. Alyssa nodded and closed her eyes, followed almost immediately by falling asleep.
The next day, Hermione woke up before Alyssa but let her sleep a little longer knowing she needed the rest. Hermione had got in the room after doing a full night of patrolling and wasn't surprised to see that Harry was still sleeping there. She woke up Harry and he told her how Alyssa had intended on going to class the next day before returning to his own room and she went to bed herself. She was still worried about Alyssa being out of the hospital; she had obviously been really weakened when she had returned to the castle and fell asleep in the middle of the day and slept all night. It was still possible that Alyssa needed to heal and recover from what had happened, and trying to go through a regular day at school like nothing happened wouldn't be the easiest task.
She decided to wake Alyssa up fifteen minutes before leaving for breakfast. She walked over to her bed and shook her shoulder gently before Alyssa's eyes slid open.
"I let you sleep in," Hermione said once she was sure Alyssa registered what was going on, "But you should probably be getting up now."
"Thanks," Alyssa said tiredly. Hermione watched her as she sat up from the bed and slid her legs to the floor.
"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked.
"I'll be fine." Alyssa answered with her back turned to her. She stood up from the bed and adjusted her pajamas and went to her trunk to pull out her uniform. Hermione didn't even try to cover up her observations. Alyssa took off her top and her stomach throbbed as she stretched her arms over her shoulders. She didn't think she'd made any sign of it but Hermione seemed to have caught it.
"Are you supposed to change that?" Hermione asked, pointing her finger at the bandage on her abdomen.
Alyssa shrugged as she pulled on the rest of her uniform. "The stitches are still in there, I don't know when they were planning on taking them out." Hermione tried hard not to point out how this was another reason why she should've stayed at St. Mungo's.
"What's first today?" Alyssa asked as she grabbed her bag.
"…Potions,"
Alyssa dropped her bag and Quills and bottles of ink rolled out. "I… I wouldn't worry about it though…" Hermione added knowing what was on her mind. "He was at the, uh, Manor over the weekend… sorting some things out." She shrugged trying to look nonchalant but it was too late.
At breakfast Alyssa caught the attention of nearly every single student in the Great Hall. The teachers looked towards Dumbledore uttering their surprise yet the twinkle in his eye made it seem as if this was to be expected. She resumed her spot next to Harry who was already sitting there and sighed heavily trying to ignore the holes she could feel being burnt into her body.
"Well, this was to be expected I guess." said Harry with a smile on his face and looking around. She smiled at him thankfully, glad that he was trying to lighten the mood. She loaded some food onto her plate as owls soared in to deliver the mail. An issue of the Prophet landed in front of Harry and he opened the first page. "No surprises here,"
Alyssa looked over his shoulder to see a headline of 'Bennington Checked Out?' and underneath a picture of her and Brad standing outside the hidden entrance to St. Mungo's.
"They can't find anything more interesting?" Alyssa asked sarcastically.
"Guess not," Harry answered. It was only seconds later when someone literally screamed her name. Alyssa looked up in time to see a blur of red before arms were crushing her in a hug.
"Gently!" Alyssa shouted as Ginny was squeezing so tightly she could've re-broken her ribs.
"What are you doing here?" Ginny demanded as she pulled away.
"I guess I just left." Alyssa said quietly while running her hands over her stomach. Ginny occupied the seat next to her and piled food onto her plate.
"Are you actually going to classes then?"
Before Alyssa could respond Harry leaned over and said, "Actually I think we should get a head start going to class. Just so you don't have to deal with more people."
"That's a good idea," Alyssa said slowly pushing away her food; she wasn't in the mood to be eating that much anyway. "Come to my room after classes." She said turning to Ginny who looked upset that her friend was leaving but nodded anyway. She reached under the table to grab her bag and followed Harry out of the Great Hall.
"I know you're probably sick of hearing it," Harry started as they walked down the hallway, "But are you sure you're okay? I'm sure the professors will understand if you're not ready to get back… they probably weren't even expecting you so soon."
"I'll be fine, Harry." Alyssa urged. She looped her arm through his and he seemed to accept the answer.
They were one of the first students to arrive at class but it didn't take long for more students to follow. Hermione arrived almost immediately after them and took a seat next to Alyssa. They were seated at the front of the classroom so Alyssa wouldn't have to see the people stop and stare at her as they walked in. Snape walked in through the doors and merely glanced at her before taking up his position at his desk. Their eyes met briefly but Alyssa looked away and pulled out her book and put it on the table, Harry and Hermione did the same. The rest of the class waited silently for Snape to begin speaking.
As he opened his mouth, however, it snapped shut again as the doors opened. Alyssa could sense him before he even walked into the room. Her back straightened up instantly and she was rigid. Harry and Hermione noticed the visible difference and looked over their shoulders to see Draco walking through the doors.
Alyssa's back was turned to him so she wasn't able to see him stop dead in his tracks. His jaw dropped and his skin paled as he stared at Alyssa with wide eyes.
"Mr. Malfoy, you're already late, if you'd be so kind and take a seat." Snape droned. Alyssa couldn't turn around and look to see him take a seat a few rows behind her - but his eyes never left her. She could feel herself begin to shake and she willed it to stop as her breathing became uneasy.
"I told you this was a bad idea," Hermione hissed at Harry. But Alyssa took no notice to this; she could barely comprehend a thought as she was sitting in the same room as Draco Malfoy.
Snape began his lesson but Alyssa didn't bother trying to pay attention – although it wasn't like she'd be able to follow along anyway - she hadn't relaxed at all and was staring blankly at the table top in front of her while trying to steady her breathing.
Alyssa didn't even make it through half the lesson. Snape was asking the class questions and he picked Draco to answer. As Draco began to speak, a choked sob escaped her lips and she clapped a hand to her mouth – horrified; it was the first time she heard his voice in three weeks. Students looked in her direction and even Snape stopped what he was doing to look at her; she could stand it no longer. She grabbed her book in one hand, her bag in the other and fled the classroom as fast as she could without even a glance at Draco and slamming the door behind her.
"Potter, go make sure she's all right." Snape said quietly so the entire class wouldn't be able to hear. Harry stood up and left the classroom.
Once Alyssa left the room she looked down at her hands to see they were shaking uncontrollably. Another sobbed escaped as she felt the room shaking around her. Her chest started to throb painfully and she stopped short, dropping everything to the floor. She nearly fell over as Harry rushed to her side and grabbed hold of her. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her to his chest where she immediately pressed her face into his shirt and let the tears fall and the heavy sobs escape… she didn't go to any classes for the rest of the day.
She had barely slept at all that night. Alyssa wasn't expecting to see – hear Draco at all, and his appearing so suddenly was rather overwhelming. She tossed and turned most of the night and when she realized it was around ten in the morning she decided to get up. She grabbed a clean set of clothes and made her way to the shower. She twisted the knob and hot water began to pour out of the faucet, steam already starting to envelope the room. She turned to the mirror as she undressed; she felt like she looked so different - so worn down as if she had aged a few years. She removed the bandage from her abdomen to reveal a line of stitches that was two inches long. She kicked off her pajama pants and stepped into the shower.
The hot water soothed her senses. It was so long since she had a truly relaxing shower. She bowed her head allowing the scolding water to cascade down between her shoulder blades. Opening her eyes as the water slid down she was able to see the amount of bruises that still hadn't healed. There were still remnants on her cheek from the hit, but other than that there were bruises on her arms and legs. After the shower she dried off and changed into a white long sleeved shirt and a pair of shorts. She looked outside; it was a perfectly sunny day – completely opposite to what she was feeling. She pulled on her sneakers and decided a walk would do her some good, she needed fresh air.
Alyssa walked through the empty hallways until she got outside. No one was out there – everyone should've been in classes; she, of course, already decided she wasn't going. Alyssa walked towards the lake and breathed in the sight. She really had missed Hogwarts and everything that came with it. She sat down at the patch of grass in front of the small dock and leant backwards till she was lying on her back.
The hot sun beat down on her and she partly wished she was in a bathing suit so she could get a tan. The heat fell good on her entire body, even soothing her ribs. She didn't know how long she was lying there – she could've fallen asleep – before a shadow blocked the sun from her face. She popped one eye opened to see who had decided to disturb her.
"Don't you have class?"
Harry sat down next to her and shrugged, "You should be there too."
Alyssa closed her eyes and rested her head back down, the dry grass scratching the back of her neck. "I don't want to."
"Is it because of Malfoy? And what happened yesterday?" Harry asked. He copied her position by lying down next to her with the top of their shoulders touching. Alyssa took a while to answer the question.
"I'm just not ready to get back."
"But you were ready to walk out of the hospital?" Alyssa turned her head to glare at him.
"I left the hospital 'cause I hate it there. I was in there a lot when I was a kid and I try to avoid it as much as I can. Besides… there was nothing much else they could do for me."
"They could've helped you get your strength back; you're obviously not feeling up to par."
"What the hell, Harry, what are you trying to say?"
He sighed heavily and took off his Gryffindor robes, placing them to the side. "I'm not trying to say anything… I'm just worried about you, and so is everyone else."
"Well everyone else obviously has too much time on their hands."
"I'm glad you think so lightly of the subject," Harry said sarcastically. He put his hands underneath his head and closed his eyes. "I know you don't want to hear much about this… but all of us were worried sick about you. Even after we found out the surgery went okay, no one knew when – or even if – you'd wake up. It was a very long and difficult seventeen days." He dropped his hands back down to his sides and Alyssa reached over to hold one of his in her own, he gripped it tightly in response.
"And no one was going to tell you this," Harry added, "but Malfoy was going through an even worse time, I think… he went to the hospital every single night and would stay there by your bedside. We all thought he was completely losing it but he'd only leave during the day. I think he was as much surprised as you were at class the other day; he didn't even know you had woken up."
"I find that extremely hard to believe." Alyssa said slowly.
"Which part?"
"Both of them."
"Why?"
Alyssa sat up and rested her hands on her knees. A breeze blew past them blowing her hair in her face and she opened her eyes, shrugging as she did so. "I just find it hard to believe that he could be affected so much." She looked at Harry who furrowed his brows.
"This was just a plan, Alyssa. We didn't expect this to happen." Harry defended.
"Right," Alyssa said nodding, "It was just a plan. So he's been lying to me all year."
"Let me ask you one question." Harry sat up as well and waited for her approval and she nodded at him. "We've all known about this all year and none of us told you anything about it… so how come you treat the rest of us like it doesn't matter but you act like you're mad at Malfoy?"
Alyssa contemplated her answer; Harry did have a point. She took it much more personally from Draco than she did from anyone. Yet at the same time what had been going on between them was much more intense than the relationships she had with the rest of them. Knowing that Draco had been lying to her all this time was a much harder blow than finding out everyone knew about it, too. But now that she was thinking about it, the answer was clear.
"Because I love him," She said simply, and it was the first time she had said it aloud. "And I trusted him, and he promised to protect me and he didn't. It hits below the belt just a bit too much, if you know what I mean."
Harry nodded understandingly expecting her answer to be something along those lines. "I feel really weird defending him and such, but I think you'll realize that… whatever happened between you two wasn't a lie to him."
"I wish I was so sure." Alyssa said, her voice was filled with doubt.
"If I'm sure, you should be sure; this is Malfoy we're talking about." He chuckled softly and it helped to lighten the mood. She was too distracted by her thoughts to see him turn around to look over his shoulder, look back and stand up. He stood front of her and reached down to help stand her up as well.
"Going somewhere?" She asked quizzically.
"I'll stop by later to see how you're doing." He answered with a smile. He leaned down to wrap his arms around her in a hug. She wrapped her own around his waist and noticed that his back was more tense than usual. Alyssa stared out towards the lake and her senses kicked in; now she knew why Harry was tense. She didn't even need to turn around to guess whose footsteps she could hear approaching her.
But alas, her body got the best of her and she turned her head over her shoulder to look at Draco. He literally left her breathless, especially now that she hadn't seen him in so long. He looked beautiful as usual, and even with the warm and bright weather he was in black pants and a black button up shirt. He looked like he hadn't slept in days; he was paler and had shadows under his eyes and his hair was messier than usual. His eyes roamed over her and they stood in silence staring at each other before he finally decided to say something.
"How are you?" Draco asked softly.
Alyssa's heart began to race, yet her voice was steady as she answered sarcastically, "Spectacular." She turned away from him and closed her eyes, scolding herself mentally. She hadn't intended on sounding so rude. She stepped forward and walked down the dock knowing that he'd follow her anyway, and he did.
They reached the end of the dock; his eyes never left her and she tried hard to not let it faze her.
"I need…" Draco started but trailed, he looked away quickly trying to sort out his words. "I need you to know how sorry I am." Alyssa's head snapped towards him and she wished she hadn't looked; the look in his eyes was too painful to see. "I never thought anything like this would happen… I didn't expect -"
"You don't need to apologize," Alyssa interrupted. "I understand, it's what you had to do."
"No, you don't understand. I need to explain myself; I wouldn't be able to rest if I didn't." He fell silent waiting for her to make any sign of consent, and when she did nothing he continued. "I found out during the summer that you'd be coming here, from both the Order and the Death Eaters. The Death Eaters wanted me to get close to you, to find out your strengths with your powers… and your weaknesses."
"I don't think I can hear this." Alyssa said.
"Please," He pleaded, his eyes were narrowed with sincerity and she could hardly protest. "You were just supposed to be a job for me; I didn't know who you were when I agreed to do it… and…" He trailed again looking for the right words. "When I told you I care about you I meant it – I still do. I hadn't meant for that to happen… there's so many things I can remember happening between us in the beginning of the year. I didn't know I'd be drawn to you so quickly… I was angry with myself to let you in so easily, when I've never been close to anyone my whole life."
Alyssa thought back as he spoke, realizing that what he said was making sense. All the times when he had tried to kiss her but would be upset with himself and how long it had taken for him to make a move… how could she have been so blind?
"And I knew that battle was going to happen, but if I had known you were going to get hurt like that…" He paused to shake his head, "I would've done everything in my power to have protected you. I tried so hard during those few days to watch you and make sure you were okay, I -"
"I know about your dad." Alyssa said suddenly, he fell silent then and his mouth snapped shut – he wasn't prepared to talk about that with anyone. "I didn't know what was going on at the time, I saw the green light and I thought I was dead." He didn't answer her and she looked over to see he was watching her intently. "Why did you do it?"
The muscle in his jaw flexed before he answered. "I told you I'd protect you and I didn't. What happened to you was my fault no matter what anyone says. What he did to you…" He shook his head unable to comprehend what he was thinking into words.
"This wasn't your fault, Draco." She said slowly, "I don't want you thinking it was."
He immediately tried to protest, "But -"
"But nothing; if you're gonna blame anyone blame the people who started this war. You did what you had to do, and I shouldn't have expected anything different… you really did a good thing."
"But at what sacrifice?" Draco asked, astounded that she had tried to take the blame off of him.
"It was bound to happen; it was a plan…" Her voice cracked at once again having to remind herself how it had been all a lie. "You don't have to apologize." She turned her back to him and stared out at the lake. Tears were threatening to fall but she tried her hardest to keep them back.
"Alyssa…" He murmured. She didn't hear him take a step closer but suddenly his hand was gripping her shoulder; a sensation passed through her that she had never felt before and she choked out a sob before turning around. He was much too close to her. His scent was so clear she thought she might pass out and fall into the lake. His silver eyes stared deep into her violet ones, and she felt the world vanish around her.
"I can't comprehend into words how sorry I am. But surely, you must know I am." His jaw clenched tightly as he looked at her and she was floored at the thought that he might cry. "I said you were supposed to be a job… supposed to." His hand moved from her shoulder to cup her cheek, "I didn't know how beautiful you'd be… how you could change me into a person I never thought I could be… I didn't know I'd fall in love with you."
Alyssa was floored, and her heart began to race. She sputtered as she said, "What?"
"I'm in love with you, Alyssa." He brought his other hand up to cup the other side of her face. "More than anything in this world, and I feel as badly as I do because I know you've thought that because of this stupid plan that I actually didn't care about you. I couldn't ever not feel the way I do about you… It's like you've gotten inside of me," He pressed a hand to his chest motioning to his heart, and she gasped audibly as a tear slid down his cheek, "And I'll never love anyone the way I love you."
Before she could register what had just happened she threw her arms around his shoulders and pressed her face into his neck. He did the same – wrapping his arms as tightly as he could around her waist. She finally let her tears fall, and somehow they managed to crash down onto the dock, their knees clanged painfully onto the wood but hardly took notice. For Alyssa, what he had said still hadn't sunk in… he told her he loved her! She never in a million years would've thought he'd ever return the love she felt for him.
They eventually pulled away but only far enough so that they could look into each other's eyes which were both red and brimming with tears. Alyssa moved her hand from his shoulder and ran it across his cheek, wiping away the remnants of tears. She shifted forward and pressed her lips hard against his. If there was anything she had missed most while she was stuck in the Manor and kept in the hospital it was this; being held in Draco's arms. Their lips moved against each other's as they recounted the one thing that they hadn't experienced for what felt like a lifetime. They finally pulled back, their lips now swollen.
"I love you so much, Draco."
A/N: jeeeez what a chapter! sorry it took kinda long to get this out but this was pretty difficult to write with all the emotions and whatnot.. and yes they finally said the big 'ilu'
thanks to the past reviews - much appreciated obviously, and i hope you enjoyed the chapter!