A/N: This is a Lit story that takes place after Teach Me Tonight. Jess is alone in New York, thinking back at his time in Stars Hollow. And I promise there will be more action in the next chapter!
The Surprise Visit, And The Aftermath
1. Missing Her
Alone. He was now totally and completely alone.
Jess never used to have a problem with loneliness. Most of the times he had actually enjoyed the relief of not having to talk to or befriend with people. He hadn't like them, the people. He had just thought of them as an annoying bunch that was nothing but disturbing bi-characters in his life.
Then he moved to Stars Hollow. The hell of a small town with all its quirky inhabitants and their stupid festivities. Everyone was so … happy. It had disgusted him. Weren't they aware of how awful the world is, he used to wonder. Were they actually that stupid?
And on top of all of this he had been stuck living with his grumpy uncle, who was constantly making irritating attempts to bond with him. It was pathetic, he had thought. So obvious that he didn't really want Jess there and was just trying to be some kind of super hero. Mr Fix-It-All.
No. It hadn't been funny at all when he first moved there. Even thought he would never ever admit it to anyone, it had hurt him a bit to be as disliked and unwanted there as he had been. The entire town hated him and wanted him gone. It wasn't always so easy to pretend that it didn't bothered him at all, that he didn't give a damn what they all thought of him.
So at first he had really hated it. But with time the place had grown on him. Luke had actually turned out to be a pretty decent guy. The others were of course still weird and filled with hatred towards him, which still could bug him a bit, but he had found something that made it all worth it. Or, more specifically, someone. Rory.
The first time he had laid his eyes on her he had liked her. Right in the beginning she had come off a little bit too perky, but she had turned out to be … well, let's just say more then he could've ever expected. He had come closer to her than to anyone else – ever. They had so much in common. They could talk about stuff: books, music, just anything. Everything. It all just came out so easy. No uncomfortable silences. He really enjoyed her company, which was surprising even to himself that he actually could. And even though she had that floppy-haired jerk boyfriend he still could've sworn she had felt something too. She must've, he couldn't have imagined all of that tension between them.
He got lost in memories. Their book-buying after the Bid-A-Basket-festival, her letting him stay for dinner with Paris and her, her thinking he cared about her and asking him to get along with her mom, her agreeing to help him studying, that ice cream trip…
Oh, that last evening had been the greatest. They had been so comfortable and relaxed around each other, they had talked and laughed, there had been no Dean around… He had been happy. Why did it have to end like that? It wasn't fair! He gets one wonderful magical evening and it has to end up in disaster! He shivered now, remembering. He had been so scared, so afraid that she was hurt. And she had been. She had fractured her wrist, broken her arm. He had hurt her. He could never forgive himself for that.
He had returned to New York immediately after that, as soon as he had made sure she got to the hospital okay. After that he couldn't stay there. They'd all hate him even more and he knew he couldn't take it now that he agreed with them. He hated himself too. For causing her pain. And for spoiling everything, just when living had started to be something quite enjoyable in stead of something you just do because you have to. He had ruined it all. She'd never wanna see him again and he couldn't blame her.
He put his head in his hands and sighed deeply. Even though he didn't think he deserved to feel any better than this it was still awful. He was alone again now, and all he wanted was to be back with her.