Hey all, this is my first Naruto story! So yeah a few notes this is slightly AU, just technology wise since I don't know how much technology they had back then (I kinda have some idea) but yeah I know a TV is definitely going to be a part of this, any OOC ness is for humour purposes. This is mostly for humor. I'm trying to get a comedy with a serious side to it and once I get the first few chapters out of the way it will get funnier I promise. So yeah on with the fic

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto.

Akatsuki's flower

Chapter 1

Prologue and so the story begins


(skip if you want but it helps with the plot)

In the world of Naruto there is a mysterious village. This village cannot be found, except by those who already know where it is. This village is called 'village hidden in light.' All of the people born in this village have white hair and eyes similar to the Byakugan, but they don't posses the bloodline trait. every hundred years or so a child is born with black hair and dark coloured eyes. rumour has it that these children have powers that are beyond mortal comprehension. a girl with black hair and midnight blue eyes was born, it was now 18 years later when our story takes place.

So the story begins…..

The leader of Akatsuki was in his room rummaging through papers. From another room in the cave he could hear drunken laughter and crashing and banging. He sighed. The cave where the headquarters was located was a mess. What he though everyone needed was a flower to brighten up the place. "And by flower I mean woman." He mumbled. He searched through many applications of desperate Kunoichi looking for jobs and missions that he got from a contact that owed him a favour. He picked up one.

It read

Is currently looking for a job with advancement opportunities-

'Nope.' He tossed that one aside and picked up another one.

Has worked for many ninja outfits and wants pay that is 100 000 ryo or higher-

'too much.' He picked up another one

Just became a jounin, wants a job where she can meet new people, especially boys. Likes: boys pink, barbies, world peace, hates: blood, animal planet/national geographic, murderers, cleaning and psychopaths.

'Nope, they'll torture her in every way possible including those just too sick and wrong to think about, revive her and do it over again, chop off her head and put it on a stick as a warning to all preps who come near the cave.' He picked up and read many more until he found this one.


'well that's more like it, I think we've found our housekeeper.' He read the last line. Maybe it was because he liked caps. Lock and bold but that was what he was thinking.

contact Kari Toshikawa, currently somewhere in fire country.

"Well that's a lot of help." He grumbled sarcastically.

With Kari…..

She opened the door to a small house outside of Konoha. She sighed as she tossed her pack on a chair. The last 3 years took her to hell and back. She tripped on the small rug and fell asleep as soon as half of her lithe body hit the sofa.


Kari and an older woman were running through the trees. They were being pursued by 4 shinobi. Kari was being carried since she was only 8. It was a long time before they gave up. They were just outside of Konoha. It was then that the older woman collapsed from exhaustion.

"auntie…are you alright?" she tried shaking her body, no answer. "Auntie!" the woman grunted in her sleep. Kari sighed and took a long black lock out of her face and put it behind her ear. She sat near her aunt and kept watch, to keep herself occupied she practised some jutsus. Mostly to do with her kekki genkai which she is able to use pure energy or chakra to create barriers for long periods, can use purifacation powers offensively along with purifying things that are tainted and poisoned just by touching it, and using it to heal people faster than any medication can (she didn't have to learn how to do this like a medic-nin) and justsus passed down from her family. she would've graduated in around a month had not a bunch of ninjas chased her out of the village, she had accidently almost killed their kage's oldest son when she lost control of her powers due to her fast temper. her aunt interfered and took her out of the village when they began to pursue them. A few hours later she could feel 2 human auras in the trees. She pulled out 2 kunai.

"Who's there! Show yourself!" Kari yelled, she tried to look intimidating though she was only 8 and was about to collapse herself. A younger kakashi and a younger Iruka stepped out though she didn't know who they were. She'd fight them even if they were chunnin or Jounin or whatever they were at age 16 or something. "If you're here to fight bring it on!" she began to advance "I won't lose." She walked forward a few more steps, then she collapsed to her hands and knees.

Iruka walked up to her. "We're not here to fight you. Can you move?" Kari raised her head to look at him. Her body felt numb, and her limbs felt like lead weights. She shook her head. Iruka picked her up. Kakashi was already checking up on Kari's aunt. He saw her forehead protector, more like the symbol on it.

"iruka come here and look at this." Iruka did. He saw it and looked at the raven-haired girl in his arms. "You guys are from the village hidden in light. What is your business here?"

"I was kicked out. Aunt came with me…got chased. Is my aunt ok…aunty…." Kari passed out.

End dream

Kari woke up and realized her position on the couch. "Damn carpet." She mumbled. 'I haven't dreamed of my past in a long time.' Her aunt died 4 years after they settled in Konoha. "I better check it out. It's probably changed." She whispered as she grabbed her bag. She sighed as she walked out the front door. She walked down the busy street and found herself in the park. She sat down on the bench and watched the people walk by. Her eyes rested on a tree that was in the center of the park. 'And that's the place where I first met them…Kari slipped into a daydream.


After living in Konoha for around 3 months and a half Kari made this tree her sanctuary. She just became a genin and got her forehead protector. It felt strange that she'd wear this symbol instead of her old village, but remembering that she lost all ties to that place and was now probably labelled a missing-nin got rid of that awkward feeling. She came here since she had no friends to celebrate with. She was about to doze off when she heard a voice.

"Hey lady! Why're you in a tree? Are you a bird! Can you fly!" a black haired 3 year old called to her.

Kari chuckled "no I can't fly little man. I'm no bird either." The boy puffed up and was about to argue about the 'little man' comment when a boy Kari's age ran over.

"Sasuke! What'd I tell you about running off!" he gasped.

"I know!" sasuke yelled. Everyone waited for an answer.

"Well…." The older boy said.

"I forgot itachi-nii."

"What did Itachi-nii say?"

Sasuke thought for a moment and resumed from where he left off. "I know! Itachi-nii always says 'god I hate this kid.'"

Kari tried to keep in the giggles but it didn't work. Itachi looked at her but then turned to sasuke trying not to kill the kid. "The other thing."

Sasuke thought hard for a minute "Only do it if scary fan-girls come." Sasuke answered looking very proud he remembered. "Sorry Itachi-nii but I saw that girl in a tree and wanted to know if she was a bird."

Itachi looked at the girl in the tree "You're Kari right?" asked her. Kari stopped giggling and began climbing down the tree.

"Uh-huh. And I know you're the Uchiha brothers. You've got quite a reputation so it's hard not to recognize you." She jumped down from the lowest branch with ease. "Well I better go. See ya." She began to walk away when sasuke and Itachi stopped her.

"We're gonna get some ice cream. Wanna come?" Itachi asked. Kari looked hesitant.

"Please!" Sasuke pleaded giving the puppy dog eyes. (Sasuke would look so cute doing that…)

Kari smiled. "Ok." And that was the beginning of their friendship. That was when she was brought back to reality by a mysterious voice.

End daydream

"Kari Toshikawa?" the mysterious man asked.

"Yeah, who are you and what do you want?" Kari answered.

"The leader of Akatsuki and your future employer. I want you to work for me as a housekeeper. You'll be paid 200 Ryo an hour and work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Any questions?" Kari was too shocked to speak, "good, we leave now."

'Thank god I grabbed my pack.' She glanced at the very big and heavy bag on her back. They journeyed all day and now they were at the Akatsuki lair. 'You've got to be kidding me! A cave! Alright just think of the money…it's just another crappy job…' they went inside the cave, and she quickly found out why he needed a house keeper, there was garbage and all sorts of stuff everywhere. They got to the living room where everyone else was watching TV.

"Men." The leader got little to no response. "MEN!" now that got their attention. "this is our new housekeeper." The men looked at her and she looked at them right back. Her midnight blue eyes sweeped across their faces and when she saw Itachi her heart skipped a beat and her face switched from shock to anger faster than a set of traffic lights. Everyone saw this.

"Already acquainted I see." The leader commented to the two

"We share history." Kari spat coldly. All Itachi did was give a smirk. She remembered that night like it was yesterday. Finding her only real family dead and carrying Sasuke's tortured body out of that house. "sorry for asking sir but where's my room?"

"Down that tunnel second door to the right. It shouldn't be hard to miss. You start work tomorrow."

"Yes sir thank you." Kari left then the leader left.

"How do you share history un? Is she and ex. Un?" Deidara asked.

"A childhood friend." Itachi answered. Then their TV show came back on.

everyone kinda knew enough to put pieces together and one thought was 'so is she the one who taught him manners?'

except for Kazuku who was thinking 'No! She's costing us money! Maybe there's a way for her to make money for Akatsuki…'

Kari was walking down the poorly lit tunnel and made it to her door 'Well I guess it isn't hard to miss!' she saw the hidden light symbol with a line through it on the door. 'but how would they know?' she stepped inside. There was a small desk with an oil lamp on it. A wooden wardrobe in a corner and a bed. She unpacked all her things and laid down on her bed. Her last thought before falling asleep was 'right when I thought Itachi could sink no lower.'

End chapter!

Well all I have to say is that I'm working on another Naruto story called ninja's in a nook so be on the lookout for that one. It should be posted soon. And that I came to a realization. My aunt has a dog named Kiba and that dog boy has that name. they're even pronounced the same. Isn't that weird! Oh well please leave lots of reviews! Oh yeah and I probably won't update often though I will try! Ja for now!