Title: All Year Around Falling in Love
Fandom: Ouran High School Host Club
Rating: R? Just to be on the safe side, I guess.
Warnings:...A talking penis. Oh, and twincest, naturally.
Summary:Against a backdrop of the five seasons (yes, I said five), the twins have discovered a new game to play.
Disclaimers:Not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The lyric fragments scattered throughout (and the title too) is "All Year Around Falling in Love" by L'Arc~en~Ciel. Many thanks to haruka for his lyrics and his translations, even though he'll never know that I wrote this and might possibly be horrified by what his work has been put to use for. (I still love you, don't hate me!)
Notes: Done for miya_fangirl because she asked so nicely (over a span of about four repeated comments ;p). It started out small and was supposed to be a one-shot. And then it grew. And grew. And grew. Right now, it's looking to be about two or three chapters long, omg.
君へ All year around falling in love
(It's a little strange how fascinated I am by you
Love just isn't enough
To you All year around falling in love)
Hikaru loved Kaoru. Kaoru loved Hikaru. Yeah, they knew that.
It was a game, their ~forbidden brotherly love~. It was something the girls asked for, something that made their lives just a little bit more amusing. It was why they did it. But real intimacy?
Naaaaaaaaah… It'd be expected and that wouldn't be any fun at all. It was better like this. Like one more little secret kept hidden from the rest of the world.
And then Kaoru woke up one morning with a hard-on.
That wasn't so unusual. He was a boy. And it would have been rather worrying to have gone through the sixteen years of his life without once getting a morning wood.
But he also woke up to Hikaru's hand on his hard-on which was a little more unusual. And moaning. And thrusting hips. More importantly, his moans and thrusting hips.
That couldn't be good.
No, his sleep-addled brain repeated helpfully for him, not good.
Which was why Hikaru woke up that morning on the floor to a fast-swelling bruise on his head and the sweet sounds of Kaoru screaming like a girl as he clutched the sheets to his chest. But not before Kaoru's penis screamed even louder in frustration and told his brain just what it could do with its completely misplaced logic.
Suffice to say, it made for an awkward morning. Kaoru made a point to spend an extra long time in the shower, which cut into breakfast, which left Hikaru to try and explain to the maids how exactly he'd managed to crash-land his head on a large porcelain elephant statue on the other side of the room all by himself.
Getting to school didn't help matters much. Kaoru continued to avoid answering his questions and if Hikaru didn't know better—and if there weren't several girls hiding behind one of the pillars trying to take unofficial snapshots at them—he could've sworn Kaoru was actually blushing and trying to avoid his eyes.
Or maybe something was catching his brother's eye? He followed the line of Kaoru's eyes and wondered what might be so interesting about some nameless girl's shoes, shiny and brightly polished that they were.
…Maybe it was the girl who'd caught Kaoru's eye? Hikaru frowned, sizing her up as they passed. Nothing special—mousy brown hair, glasses… she fainted with a blissful shriek upon direct eye contact too. Nah… couldn't be. Kaoru wouldn't be interested in someone so boooooring~
Which meant Kaoru really was trying to avoid his eyes.
Hikaru thought this was rather weird.
Having taken care of the most noticeable problem in the shower and having skillfully—in his opinion—deflected his brother's curiosity, Kaoru was busy thinking. This was turning out to be something infinitely more difficult to do than he'd guessed because Hikaru kept distracting him. He was too shiny, Kaoru decided after the tenth surreptitious glance at his brother. Yes. Way too shiny and eye-catching for his own good. But they were identical twins… did that make him way too shiny too?
However, every time he flicked his eyes up at a particular girl's face to test this theory, they'd already keeled over in a dead faint. After the sixth, he stole another look at his brother, whom he caught eyeing the same girl with a half-frown. Was it his fault? How was he supposed to test his own shininess if Hikaru's shininess kept beating him to it?
But that hadn't been what he'd been trying to think about.
He'd been trying to think of math. Candle wax. Cabbages and kings. Anything non-Hikaru-related which was much harder than it should be because everything was Hikaru-related. Hikaru was good at math though obviously not as good at math as he was. And candle wax made him think of that joke they'd pulled on that girl with the funny bondage magazine who they'd sent gibbering into a corner of the school foaming at the mouth with hearts in her eyes. Cabbages were round and kind of shaped like Hikaru's head, although Kaoru would have gotten mad at anyone else who likened his brother's head to a cabbage because that would mean that someone might also be trying to call him a cabbage head which he didn't think was much of a compliment. As for kings…
That made him think of Tono. Which made him think of the Host Club which made him think about Hikaru. Which was just what he was trying to avoid thinking about because then he thought about Hikaru's hands which made him think of Hikaru's hands attached to his penis, which made him think of moaning and moving and naked and—
"I have to go to the bathroom!"
He was on his feet and his chair had landed on the ground behind him and the teacher was looking at him funny—and the rest of the class, but they always looked at him funny so that was fine, and when had he gotten to class, anyway?—but that didn't matter because he needed to go to the bathroom right now. As soon as the teacher opened his mouth to say something, he was out the door and halfway down the hall, a trail of dust billowing after him despite the immaculately-swept floor.
The class blinked. Hikaru raised an eyebrow. Haruhi looked up from her book frighteningly nonplussed.
Several minutes later Kaoru had his pants yanked down around his ankles and his cock in his hand as he leaned back against the door of the bathroom stall and shook his head over the stupidity of getting a hard-on over his brother in the middle of class. It was silly. It was pubescent. And why were his pants on the floor, when he could've just unzipped the fly anyway?
"Why are your pants on the floor if you could've just unzipped the fly?" asked a cheerfully curious and altogether entirely too familiar voice from above. He looked up, horrified, to see his twin peering cheerfully over the dividing walls of the stalls, grinning owlishly at him like he wasn't invading his brother's privacy or anything.
Kaoru screamed. Or at least, he would have if Hikaru hadn't dived forward to slap a hand across his mouth and effectively prevented the screaming and subsequently the invading fangirls/school authorities. Hikaru hoped Kaoru knew how much effort doing this took as it was rather painful to have what amounted to a metal bar shoving his internal organs against his ribs, and put him in a rather awkward position dangling over the stall divider at an impossible angle. Several moments later, Hikaru felt gravity kick him in the balls for defying her, even if for a brief moment, and he landed in a heap on the floor clutching his groin protectively in one hand and rubbing his much-abused head with the other. It was clearly not a good day.
He sat up to see a Kaoru plastered to the door in horrified shock, and the tip of Kaoru's penis on his nose. He blinked. He looked cross-eyed at it. Kaoru, frozen, did not move. He flicked it upwards off his nose, and it bounced, coming right back to slap him lightly on the nose again. Which felt kind of weird and it was funny to see Kaoru try and bite back what looked like a heartfelt curse when he did that. Oh right. Still hard. That might've been a bit painful.
...But it didn't look like it from the way Kaoru had his hands knotted into white-knuckled fists, and the way his face got all scrunchy—especially his eyebrows—with the gritted teeth and all. Hikaru raised an eyebrow up at his twin, puzzling this new mystery. You'd think if he was so desperate to get off, he'd just do it. It wasn't as if he were embarrassed or anythi—
—Actually that might explain the blushing because Kaoru was doing it again.
Did it have something to do with his penis? He refocused on the thing still balanced neatly on the tip of his nose and poked it, which made it do the bounce thing again. Didn't look like there was anything wrong with it. He tried for flippant and subtle. "Silly Kaoru, do you need my help for this too?"
That didn't seem to be the right thing to say because the next moment he found himself physically hauled up and tossed out the bathroom door which promptly slammed shut after him. Several seconds later, it opened again, but just enough for a hand to snake out and hang up a glowing neon "IN USE" sign before it closed with another bang. No one questioned its appearance or where exactly Kaoru had snatched it from.
Hikaru sat in the exact spot he'd landed on—the girl didn't seem to be complaining, but that could very well be because she was rather unconscious and unattractively foaming at the mouth—for a full minute as he swiftly put the pieces together and a smugly devious smile began to form on his face.
He let out a thoughtful "Hehhhh…" plans already assembling themselves in his mind.
(If the spring comes, I'll give you flowers)
The entire Host Club, Kaoru decided, was against him.
No really. They were.
Today's theme had been set in ancient China and he'd looked forward to billowing costumes and heavy brocades… stuff that might actually come in handy if the stern talking-to his penis had received earlier hadn't been enough. But no. Oh no. Change of plans, Kyouya said. Terrible accident, Kyouya said. Vanilla ice cream splattered all over the costumes, Kyouya said.
Kaoru smelled a rat. Except he didn't because this was Ouran after all and they'd never let a rat in here, but that wasn't the point because if they did allow rats in here he'd… probably still not be able to smell it because he didn't know how rats smelled like. But that didn't mean he didn't recognize the signs of a thorough Hitachin pranking.
Of course it had to be today. And vanilla ice cream. Of course.
He could, he thought, really learn to hate his brother.
He could also really learn to hate Tono. Stupid king.
Because their illustrious leader had decided that even though some dastardly fiend had destroyed the day's costumes, the theme, the main theme! would go on! Yes, they would not be stopped by this transparent attempt to spoil the Host Club's glory! THEY WOULD—
And that was about the time Haruhi took it upon herself to reach up and drag the king off his soapbox—gold-plated and studded over with precious gems, of course—by the ear for which the majority of them were quite grateful for.
But that didn't stop the day's theme from being fabulously draped across the entirety of the room. Five days of the week, five seasons.
Yes, their king did know there were only four seasons, but there were five days of the week, so what was wrong with coming out with another season just to match? The laws of nature were nothing compared to the will of the Ouran High School Host Club King.
Today was Spring, and the 3rd Music Room was transformed into an utter bower of cherry tree branches trailing delicate pink petals, the polished tiles of the floor hidden beneath a carpet of lush grass. There were some things money couldn't buy, Haruhi liked to try and tell them, but they all knew for a fact that beauty certainly wasn't one of them.
So there were, forced to continue on with the day's activities in their uniforms. Which, as Kaoru could unfortunately tell from personal experience now, were uncomfortably tight at exactly the wrong moments. And Hikaru seemed more fiendishly gleeful to lay hands on his twin than he normally did which was somewhat worrisome.
"Ah… hime-tachi," he was telling the girls staring in rapt attention at his arms around his brother's neck from behind their raised teacups, "if only you had seen the distress our dear Kaoru was in upon his early disappearance from this morning's class… oh, it was such a sight to behold—"
"Hikaru! You're not supposed to tell them that!" he was only half-acting when he jerked a hand up to hide his blushing cheeks. "How could you, Hikaru?" A quick turn of his head was enough to smoothly add the eye droplets, so by the time the girls could see his face again there were tears brimming artfully at the corners of his eyes.
"Oh… my dear Kaoru… I did not think… please forgive me…" His chin was caught between Hikaru's fingers, and he looked up into his twin's eyes to see the concern pasted on every feature of that face, and the laughter deepset in his eyes that neither of them could ever really hide.
"Hikaru…" he breathed, and right on cue, the two girls turned as one to hold each other and squeal loudly into each other's shoulders, unmindful of the teacups they still clutched, as the proclaimed the wonders of such forbidden brotherly love! Kaoru couldn't help the smirk that twisted the corner of his lips upward, and he could feel himself relaxing as he settled back into that ridiculously easy role—
This was weird. He could feel his eyes widen to astronomical proportions and he tried frantically to catch his twin's gaze, which was a little impossible because he was currently kissing…
Hikaru was kissing him.
On the lips.
This was really, really, really weird.
Kaoru could feel himself going slack-jawed. Which didn't happen very often at all.
Hikaru seemed to notice this with some delight because a moment later, there was a tongue in his mouth.
Well, a second tongue. That was not his own. Although it did seem to like playing with his tongue all too much… massaging it and twirling around it in such a way as if to make a point, although what that point was Kaoru wasn't really sure of because being kissed by Hikaru was enough of—
His penis, which had up until now been sulking between his legs from his firm talking-to, decided it was the perfect time to stand up and yell the answer to his brain at the top of its lungs.
Which it did. But it could've been cheating and have gotten quite a big hint from the fact that he had Hikaru's hand down his pants.
Hikaruhad a hand down his pants.
Kaoru jerked back with a strangled "buh?" as he tried to make sense of the hand in his pants. Starting with how exactly Hikaru could get a hand down his uncomfortably tight pants anyway? But that wasn't the most important thing to focus so much as exactly why Hikaru still had a hand down his pants and why he'd been kissing Kaoru in the first place because the girls were just turning back from the simultaneous squee right now, which meant it had clearly not been a show for them. The hand slipped away, and his penis sobbed at its loss for the second time that day. It might even have tried to divorce Kaoru's brain entirely for making him pull back, but his brain replied coolly that it held all the pleasure centers anyway so Kaoru's penis would still be rather unhappy without it. Kaoru's penis clearly felt so unloved it stood up all the straighter as if trying to follow in the direction of Hikaru's hand.
With a smirk, Hikaru took the situation into his own hands—literally, though not in such a startling way as he had just a few moments ago—and swept his startled brother up into his arms.
"Ah… forgive us, hime-tachi, I believe I must take Kaoru away so that I might help him reaffirm the bonds of our love," he told the girls dramatically, giving them that particularly devilish Hitachin grin that sent them swooning against each other in delirious paroxysm of bliss.
Well that was one problem easily taken care of. Hkaru was quite content to tackle the second, more enjoyable one, immediately.
Kyouya, having seen the entire thing, frowned and adjusted his glasses, looking as if he intended to stop Hikaru in his tracks—and he couldn't let that happen right now because soon Kaoru would realize just what on Earth was happening and would start wriggling, which was very hard to hold onto. So with a jerk of his head, he pointed out the video camera that had been aimed at the exact place they'd previously been sitting. As if that weren't obvious enough, yen signs began popping up all around the twins' heads as Hikaru continued to walk away with his odd burden.
And so their shadow king let them go, content with taking it out of the twins' share of the promised video's earnings.
Kaoru regained presence of mind to sputter "What was that about?" when Hikaru dumped him unceremoniously in a corner behind a large rosebush. Neither of them thought to care as to why there was a rosebush taking part in the Spring cherry blossom theme party as long as it was there and it promised privacy.
"What does it look like, my dear Kaoru?" Hikaru replied, dropping gracefully to his knees and leaning forward to brace his weight on his hands, which just brought his face closer to his twin's. "I'm here to help you with this little problem, of course."
"H-how?" It was a weird feeling, their long-played game coming to life. Kaoru felt certain his part should be scripted somewhere. Hikaru seemed to know his part just fine which Kaoru didn't find very fair at all.
"Weeellll… first things first, this looks like it could use some attention…"
Kaoru's penis agreed all too eagerly and sang Hikaru praises at the top of its nonexistent lungs as Hikaru sprawled with languid grace between Kaoru's legs, a hand tugging at the button and zip of his pants. Kaoru himself wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do because somewhere in the back of his head, there was that faint remembering business that there was some sort of rule against your twin offering you sexual favors. Or was it accepting sexual favors from your twin? Or both?
Either way, Kaoru thought he was supposed to do a bit more complaining than he was here, but Hikaru had that grin on his face, the same one they had when they were planning one of their grand jokes. Well Kaoru was always up for a new game to play, and if he got off along the way, that just made the game that much better, didn't it? Especially when Hikaru's hand could do thaaaaaaaaat…
And then the rosebush started talking.
"…Tamaki-sempai, I am not going to wear that."
"But my precious Haruhi~! Daddy wants to see his beautiful girl in—GACK!"
Hikaru had to turn to look then because with all his extensive knowledge of clothes and numerous fabrics, he had never heard of gack and it piqued his curiosity—oh.
Kaoru made a superhuman effort to open his eyes and turn his head, since Hikaru hadn't exactly stopped moving his hand, but some part of his brain realized the voices were probably an important something to notice, despite his penis's reassurances that they was not important in the least. And stared.
Haruhi blinked at them. Then shrugged and said "oh." Tono had a look of stark horror on his face and he looked like he was trying to hide behind the rookie. He then closed his mouth into a stern line, reached over, broke off several roses and arrayed them in a neat line. "There. You and your homo homo love love will stay over there and don't you dare cross and infect me with your—Haruhi? Haruhiiiiii!"
He had turned back to more important matters, like dressing his beloved Haruhi in the pretty clothes his pretty Haruhi's utter cuteness required but she had disappeared while he'd been busy protecting them from the creepy Hitachin love love! He glared at them for interrupting his most important task and dashed out from behind the rosebush, intent on recapturing his precious, a flurry of rose petals and trailing frilly dresses fluttering in his wake.
Kaoru turned back to more important matters, like bucking up one last time and coming hard into Hikaru's hand with a sharp cry before he slumped bonelessly back into the rosebush. That thankfully went unnoticed by the crowds on the other side of the bush because Tono had decided that was a perfect time to start up another one of his brilliantly captivating—and impossibly loud—speeches. Hikaru was taken rather by surprise since he'd been busy concentrating on the fleeing Tono and not at the penis in his hand, although Kaoru's penis hadn't seemed to mind this at all.
Well, he had certainly helped with Kaoru's problem, quite efficiently too in fact, but now his hand was covered in sticky, and so was his face, so that was a bit messy. And he'd already gone and handed both his handkerchief and his spare to the lovely young ladies that had burst into tears of joy once graced with his presence which left him handkerchief-less which wasn't very suitable for a host, if he thought so himself.
He pulled his hand back though, after glancing up once to check out the state of his brother's other head, since rosebushes were generally thorny affairs and landing your head on one might get you rather spiky, but it seemed this rosebush was quite content being spineless and non-poky. Which was all the better for Kaoru's head, he supposed, lapping slowly at the sticky on his palm. It didn't taste bad either, and he sucked it slowly off his fingers as he blinked at his brother who was just beginning to raise his head—the one with eyes and the nose and the mouth parts, not miscellaneous penis parts—to stare wide-eyed at him. And his other head, this time with miscellaneous penis parts twitched. Kaoru groaned at him. As if he hadn't been nice and just done that thing with his hand, what sort of thank you was that?
It wasn't like he'd asked for anything in return, though that was beginning to sound like a better idea from the way Kaoru was looking at him as he cleaned off his hand—
He grinned, crawling forward up along Kaoru's heaving chest. "Want a taste?" he purred, flicking his tongue out towards Kaoru's lips.
Kaoru just blinked at him and then he blushed at him too, which wasn't much of an answer so he shrugged and pulled back and started hunting around for a nice large leaf to wipe off his face since clearly his newfound cleaning methods weren't to Kaoru's taste.
Or actually, it was very much Kaoru's taste, but that wasn't what he'd meant, and—oh, that was nice of him.
He hummed his appreciation as Kaoru produced a handkerchief, leaned over, and began wiping his face for him. Kaoru still hadn't stopped blushing though, which was fine because a blushing Kaoru was always plenty attractive to marauding Hikarus after all. He had a feeling he might be blushing too, but that wasn't worth noticing unless he had a mirror on hand, which he didn't, or Kaoru mentioned it explicitly, which he seemed to preoccupied to do. Thus, Hikaru was content to submit to his face-cleaning like a good little Hikaru, until he opened his mouth just the slightest bit and caught Kaoru's middle finger between his lips. It made him smile because Kaoru did that swallowing thing, like when he was nervous, because he wasn't nervous often.
Kaoru froze and Hikaru had a split-second to notice that Kaoru had his thinking face on before he pulled him up so that the two of them were face-to-face. He was laughing at him, but it was suddenly that low laugh, the one that said whatever he was laughing about wasn't really funny. "Do you really want to play this game?"
He paused, letting Kaoru's finger slip out. "What do you mean?"
Kaoru made that laugh again, his hands falling to his pants as he cleaned himself off and fixed his pants. "You know what I mean."
Hikaru frowned. Kaoru had that voice now too. Because despite the fact that Hikaru played at seme in all their little games, Kaoru was always the one who knew everything, who thought things through. His tone said that what he was saying was important but Hikaru couldn't see why.
Maybe he'd caught Kaoru off-guard with his sudden offer and he really didn't want this. Kaoru had been the first one who'd gone off and expanded their little world into one with other people, with girls in it. Maybe he preferred it that way. Was this where he wanted the game to end?
Hikaru didn't like the sound of that, and let his head drop, nosing down into his spot against his brother's chest.
Kaoru had a half-smile on his face as he laid a comforting hand across the back of his brother's head. "Silly Hikaru, I meant I don't know the rules of this game that you want to play, and neither do you. Are you willing to try and find out along the way?"
And then Hikaru laughed. Silly Kaoru, he should already know the answer to something like that! He leaned up to kiss Kaoru anyway, grinning at him. What was going to be so different about this game compared to all the others?
Kaoru smiled, leaning into the kiss. He certainly had an idea, but that would obviously have to come later…
*shrugs* I run under the assumption that Kaoru, when not running under the logic of teenaged lust, is the one who thinks things through more and goes through the most trouble trying to hide that kind of stuff from his brother at the very beginning. As the latest episode out (read: 15/16) that I watched when writing this chapter seem to agree with me. For now, at least, as episode 20 promises me more twin-revelations that will probably negate everything I've ever guessed. Them's the breaks.