A/N: G'day to everyone in the SSBM story section. I've been reading stories here for a while and…oh right, nobody's listening. This new story, I came up with the idea and wrote it up within a couple of days, mainly to see what anyone would think about it. A few of the SSBM characters such as Yoshi and Mr Game And Watch were left out, but for now, it's just about what you think. If you want, send by an email to me and I can send you an attached word document showing the mini-games I plan to use during the course of the story. Of course, feedback is always appreciated. Please enjoy!
It was yet another afternoon inside the SSBM mansion. With the latest Smash Brothers tournament having been won recently by Link, having beat Samus in the final round, each one of the characters/combatants/friends were doing tasks based on their own accord, without the need of a disturbance from anyone else. But there was only one exception to this…quiet (cough dumbass cough) environment inside the mansion. And that came from well…um…from a rather large, pink, furry ball…eh…
Samus, Zelda and Peach, the three princess/female types, were sitting down on three chairs by the fireplace, which were constantly relit by Bowser's farts. They generally gossiped on topics ranging from nail polish to last night's frantic Mario Party 4 battle on the Nintendo GameCube where Peach had crapped on Zelda by switching their star totals in the second-last round, to the long stream of obscenities that Samus had launched at Roy when he had stuck a grenade to her during their one-on-one fight on Halo 2 on the Xbox.
Mario, Luigi and Wario, the three plumbers were occupying the GameCube, with Wario shouting on the two brothers as they competed in a sometimes far-too-competitive game of Mario Tennis. From a room next to the living room, you could occasionally hear a loudly shouted 'f' word as one of them unleashed a freakish shot to win a rally.
Bowser, Ganondorf and Donkey Kong were taking each other on at what they were best at-apart from the constant routine of pretending to kidnap princesses or being villains in their game roles in RPGs. Each one had a plate of hotdogs that never ran out, and the two IceClimbers were keeping time and scoring to see how many hotdogs each one could scoff in three minutes. A fight broke out between Bowser and Donkey Kong after DK had complained that Bowser had added extra-spicy hot-chilli sauce to his hot dogs, but they were both stopped by ice blasts by Popo and Nana.
Malon, Captain Falcon, Falco, Candy, Krystal and Fox were all hunched around a rather 'laid-back' board game of Monopoly, which was only occasionally broken by Captain Falcon's loud threats to falcon-kick the crap out of Falco whenever he landed on one of Falco's properties with a motel. And that happened often enough.
The Pokemon were sitting in a corner, staring at the screens of their GameBoy Advance SPs, playing games ranging from Pokemon Gold to Yu-Gi-Oh GX: Duel Academy. This would be interrupted a few times when Pikachu released some electrical energy whenever he would get hit by a Mirror Force in the trading card game, or whenever Mewtwo released his own psychic energy when he lost to someone when that person had only 5hp on their last Pokemon.
Ness was taking apart the PlayStation 2 and attempting to combine it with a Super Nintendo Entertainment System for what he wanted to call a "Super Nintendo Entertainment Station PlaySystem". Unfortunately, he had no luck and he too could be heard releasing swear words each time he got electrocuted from perhaps poking a rod at an electric circuit.
To just about cap it off, Link, Roy and Marth were sitting by a large plasma-screen television in an entertainment room, surrounded by packs of Tim Tams, Hershey chocolate bars, bags of chips and marshmallows. They watched everything from random American football games to episodes of Family Guy or perhaps even a random movie such as Cheaper By The Dozen, or Swingers.
So generally, most of the Smashers had something to do during the periods of time they spent on the mansion as they waited for Master Hand to come up with a new location or some new rules for a Smash tournament. However, Kirby, the object who resembled a big fat pink ball, was one Smasher who failed to remain committed to one task at a time. He bounced around the mansion, joining others in random tasks and although he got along very well with everyone, he often annoyed several Smashers with his constant ability to leave a task for no exact reason apart from the fact that he could do so.
So it wasn't much of a surprise to the three male teenagers when Kirby bounced into the room, and began eyeing the snacks rather…greedily. Link and Roy ignored him, and continued watching MTV, but Marth kept him sighted in the corner of his eye. Kirby bounced his way onto the couch and with his tiny, barely-sighted hands, grabbed a Tim Tam and munched it down within five seconds. After stuffing three more Tim Tams in his mouth, he grabbed a bar of chocolate and chewed it down. But before he could reach for a second, Link stopped him, shaking his head.
"Why can't I?" Kirby asked, grumbling as he rubbed his stomach.
"If I didn't stop you, you would've finished all the snacks within ten minutes. And this pile is supposed to sustain us three for three hours…" Link said, patting Kirby on his backside
"Hey, well, it looks like there's a lot more where this came from…" Kirby said, gazing dreamily at the still-huge pile of snacks that sat in front of him.
"No, Kirby, this pile cost me a load of rupees, and you better believe that…" Link grumbled, and winked quickly at Marth and Roy.
Unfortunately for him, Kirby spotted the wink, and knew that Link was hiding a secret. Or more like all three of them were hiding a secret. But for now, he decided to keep silent about it, and to pretend that he didn't know about anything.
"All right, I won't eat anything else," he sighed.
Link, satisfied, sat back again and continued to watch the MTV show that was being displayed. Kirby did so as well, but already a plan was forming in his mind…
However, two hours later, with the snack pile still quite high, there was the telltale buzz which indicated that Master Hand wanted a meeting which all Smashers were required to attend. They had ten minutes.
"Shit, we better store this pile of food somewhere for later. Kirby, piss off." Marth said, though there was nothing harsh in it and it was more an informal way of saying "See ya at the meeting, Kirby". Though it was more like a "Go-away-Kirby-we-don't-need-you-to-see-our-secret-stash-of-food" sort of comment.
Kirby decided that the comment, despite not being at all insulting towards him, was connected to why they had been so secretive about the food earlier in the afternoon. He morphed himself in with the walls, and followed the three as quietly as he could. They eventually ended up in Roy's room, where they flipped up a loose floorboard, and climbed down inside.
"As if, this isn't Harry Potter, gosh darn it!" Kirby muttered loudly, forgetting about staying quiet.
Link heard the comment as the three moved down to the little bit of space where a pile of food lay that even made the snack food section in a supermarket look small.
"Who was that?" he called, and stared back upwards. It sounded like Kirby…
"Dunno, Link, but I think the stuff involving Kirby and the food is really getting to your head…" Roy said, almost reading his friend's mind.
"Whatever." Link replied, shaking his head. The three peered lovingly at their huge pile of food before they all scrambled back upwards, slotting the floorboard back in place. Then, they all headed out for the meeting, not noticing the pink, fluffy ball that had un-morphed and opened up the floorboard, sneaking down below…
Kirby almost screamed in delight as he discovered the massive amounts of candy bars, chips, and chocolate biscuits that lay around him. No wonder Link had been so uptight! It was like swimming in a lake full of delicious fatty foods, only bigger and much more enjoyable, considering that it wasn't sticky and uncomfortable. He took a large armful of the snacks, and headed out to his room. With all the others ready and waiting for the meeting to start, he could have a quick feast before he joined everyone else. Unfortunately, after consuming his third pack of Tim Tams, he began to doze off for some rather strange reason, unknown to him that this nap would set off a chain of events that he just wouldn't be able to imagine, especially with his sugar-affected mind…
The meeting was just about ready to start, as Master Hand had floated in, and was ordering some cookies and milk to be baked for everyone to keep them revitalised during the meeting. However, Link was slowly getting more and more worried by the fact that Kirby was missing. He knew that he hadn't managed to completely convince Kirby that his pile of food wasn't from his rupees, but the large pile that he had built up over years.
"Hey, Samus, have you seen Kirby?" he asked the blonde-haired girl, out of her armour as usual, since she only needed it as protection during the real battles.
"Nup. Why?" Samus asked curiously.
"Umm…well, this arvo Marth, Roy and I let Kirby join us with some food and such, and we deposited it for later, and I have a bad feeling that since he's not here, he might have gotten hold of it and…"
Link was interrupted by Master Hand reappearing, carrying in his large hand several large glasses of milk, and a few bowls of cookies.
"Help yourself, we've got a long agenda to discuss for the next tournament…" came the mysterious voice.
Link and Samus sat next to each other, and grabbed cookies and a glass of milk, grinning at each other. So a new tournament was going to be on soon, and they no longer had to spend countless days feeding their boredom.
"Who isn't here?" The Hand asked, counting the Smashers.
Link went to inform Master Hand that Kirby wasn't present, but Marth beat him to it.
"Kirby. We saw him when we were packing up some stuff to get ready for the meeting, but we haven't seen him since…"
"Then let's go check. Pikachu, take Ness and go search for him. Check his room first…then go check the entertainment room. He might be there eating…and, well…" Master Hand slowly trailed off, and quietly, he whispered two words:
Pikachu and Ness returned pretty quickly, and both looked rather flustered.
"Uh, we all should go and see Kirby's room…" Ness said, looking pale.
All the Smashers moved out of the meeting area, leaving their cookies and milk behind, though DK managed to crunch one down before he too, followed everyone else.
As they moved towards Kirby's room, Link had a quick look at Roy's room as they passed it. The floorboard was sitting on the floor, but not in the right place. Link gulped. His only hope now was that Marth had simply just forgotten to put the board back, and that no-one had discovered it in the period of time between then and now…
No such luck for him. Peach, the first one in Kirby's room after Ness and Pikachu, gave a loud scream, and soon, Link could see what was going on. He wanted to scream as well, as he saw Kirby laid out on the bed, chocolate smeared all around his mouth, empty candy bar wrappers sitting with unwrapped ones, and large bags of chips-his, Marth's and Roy's chips and a few empty cans of cola.
From the loud scream uttered by Peach, Kirby began to lapse out of his sleep. He opened his eyes, feeling relaxed and pretty stuffed by all the food he had consumed. But all that happy feeling he developed disappeared in a trace when he saw all the Smashers looking at him and his/Link's/Marth's/Roy's food, with their mouths hanging wide open.
Aw shit. I'm screwed…were his last thoughts before he fainted.