Author: WhiteWolfCub
Genre: Humor/Romance
Category: Harry Potter
Warnings: Slash between Sirius/Remus, violence and the concept of insanity.
Summary: Dumbledore decides that all of the sixth years need to learn more about the muggle world. So, he takes Gryffindor's group to St. Dante's insane asylum, where they meet one Remus Lupin.

Notes: (Foaming at the mouth). Ahem, in response to every single review that tells me to hurry up I only have one thing to say…You're a bad idea! Nice huh! Anyway, I really have been late on everything and school is being a bitch and I hate every single one of my teachers (except my US History, English, and Science Fiction), and I wish for them to all loosen up. Did you know my school has over 6000 policies! That's more than the student population! Ahem, forgive my ramblings…but be warned to everyone out there: The world is not your oyster! It is your bucket of popcorn chicken! Tastes much better!

-Chapter Two-

If Sirius knew one thing on this stupid planet, it was that old guys were not to be trusted…EVER! They would leave you stranded on a desert island if your boat reached maximum occupancy, or if the rescue ship only had room for two more. He would take himself and your mother to have a REAL good time.

It pissed Sirius Black off! Though, he had to admit, being stuck in an insane-thing meant leaving school than he would gladly volunteer. He was tired of Transfiguration anyway.

"Here is what you will be wearing during the day," Anna said, throwing random clothes in his arms. "Your pajamas, outside clothes, and your restroom/bath clothes."

"Why is there so much?" Sirius asked, slipping on the incredibly boring outfit.

"Health reasons," she said. "Now, seeing as the good doctor and Dumbledore made the arrangements, you will be under my care…that means Remus will be with you too."

"Fantastic, when do I get out of here?" Sirius asked, yawning.

"When you get him to be your friend," she winked. "Ready then?"

"I guess," he sighed dramatically.

Remus pursed his lips together, his whole body going stiff as a board. He slowly put the book down, making sure to not allow any flinch or excess movement to obscure his "terrifying" posture. He had to be prepared, it was what the world had taught him so far and it's what is teaching him now. He just had to be silent, and ready for any-

"Remus! Hey Remus can I read with you?" Sirius yelled from across the library.

-thing.

He hated the world and all of its retarded lessons.

"Remus can I eat with you?"

Remus glanced up from his book, a disapproving look on his face. He snorted, motioning for the annoying teen to look around him. Honestly, did he see any food plates? Remus wouldn't even be there if he hadn't gotten caught all those years ago skipping lunch and going outside to play instead.

That was what he said at least, he was really going to scale the fence and run for freedom. It would have worked too…had he not been afraid of heights and screamed for help at the very top. Remus briefly cursed his own fears and visibly started when Sirius sat down next to him.

"I'll pay you to be friends with me," Sirius whispered, reaching into his pocket.

Remus blanched. What was he going to do with the money? He couldn't leave! Turning his head, he went back to looking at his book.

"Not interested?" Did he sound disappointed? "Okay, then I offer you freedom."

Remus snorted.

"Fine," Sirius huffed, shoving the poor excuse for food away from him. "What do you want?"

Remus mocked the position of The Thinker, before going back to his book.

"Man, you're a tough cookie to eat," Sirius sighed, troubled.

Cookie? Eat? Remus shivered.

"What are your interests?" Sirius asked.

Remus raised an eyebrow, tapping the book cover with his finger. The kid sure was blind. Remus wasn't too sure that he was insane, but just stupid. He sighed at his own thoughts, trying to go back to his book. It seemed Sirius wouldn't have any of that.

"How long have you been here?" Sirius asked.

Remus growled, slamming the book in Sirius' face, damning the lunch break to hell.

Remus sat in front of the bars to the outside, sighing mentally over and over again. Maybe he could try climbing over again…

He shook the thoughts out of his head, his thoughts straying back to wherever they were before. Ah yes, that rotten new kid that never left him alone. He remembered in the library the previous day how he had first come over. Remus hadn't paid much attention at first, but when he looked again, a sudden memory had occurred. It had frightened him, so he wanted to make a quick escape.

"The fence," he had said. "I had a dream about a fence last night."

Remus couldn't escape the feeling that he had said something cryptic to that boy all those years ago. Remus sighed, he probably thought Sirius looked like the lonely boy behind the iron bars.

"Thinking really sucks," a voice said from behind him. "Makes your brain hurt."

Remus glared at the black irons, praying to every deity up there that it wasn't who he thought it was.

Unfortunately, every one of the great beings up in the sky must have ignored his mediocre plea. He cursed every last one of them. He flinched when Sirius sat down next to him, a smile on his face.

"Anna told me that you're allowed outside whenever you want," he said conversationally.

Remus blinked. It was true, they had allowed him the liberty to come outside whenever he wanted because all he did was read and think. He wasn't a threat like the ones upstairs on the upper floors. Remus chewed on his bottom lip, briefly wondering what would happen if he fed Sirius to 'Big Bo-Jo', as Remus so affectionately named him.

Big Bo-Jo was a gruesome man, whom hated everyone and everything and claimed that he could see everything evil in the world. When Remus had so carelessly wandered up there once, the big guy had been let out accidentally. It surprised everyone to no end when the big monster of a man scooted little Remus off and out of danger from that floor. Remus had visited him ever since, Big Bo-Jo always saying that he was completely 'pure' of the creatures he could see.

Remus felt a brief sense of pride at being the only one Big Bo-Jo liked -and didn't eat or slaughter or mutilate.

"Don't you get bored at all?" Sirius asked his tone sharp.

Remus shook his head, still slightly lost in thought to realize he was responding nicely to the annoying black haired boy.

"Why don't you ever say anything?" Sirius asked his tone finally serious. He was gazing at Remus intently, his hazy gray eyes reflecting something akin to pity…or concern.

Remus shook his head, resting his head in his hands.

"I mean, don't get me wrong here, it's kind of…mysterious," Sirius whispered.

Remus raised an eyebrow, biting back a snort.

"Like something out of a movie, or book, or fanfiction," Sirius continued.

Remus blinked.

"Or not," the gray eyed boy sighed in defeat.

He might finally leave me alone Remus thought happily. The brown haired boy continued to blink, finally getting up to go back inside. He was tired of being out there anyway. He hated memories.

Twitch.

"-and then it was like "holy crap Malfoy! Piss off!" and then he was giving me this look that was like-"

Twitch.

"-so then James came -that's my friend by the way- and he was like "sod off Malfoy" and then he cast this really great spell-"

Curious twitch.

"-now, don't get me wrong, James and I do everything together; study, prank, skip, eat, the works but this spell he said he had just learned from the restricted section-"

More curious twitches.

"-Malfoy would so try and bed you if you came to Hogwarts!" Sirius finished, looking rather upset at that last part. Remus was sitting right in front of him, chewing slowly on his piece of meat. Sirius grinned at him, shoving his plate aside to look better at Remus. "I can teach you magic Remus, you know that right?"

Remus swallowed slowly, hoping that his enthusiasm wasn't showing too prominently on his face. This could give him something to do...

"I go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and believe me," Sirius sighed. "It is just like home."

Home…

"Sirius is making great progress."

"He and Remus should come back to Hogwarts very soon Minerva."

"Albus…why couldn't you take Remus from the Mental Hospital?" Minerva McGonagall asked, sitting in a seat beside Dumbledore.

"I'm afraid that the government owns him," he said. "I have no power, he is considered an orphan, and I can't just take him without his consent."

"Surely, that can't be true," she protested weakly, trying to find reason in his statement. "What can Sirius Black do? He is only one child Albus!"

"He will show Remus what it means to be loved," Dumbledore said. "Remus will gladly go wherever Sirius goes if this works. After that, my influence will be all that's left."

McGonagall calmed down, a rare smile on her lips. "Then we just have trust Black."

"Potter will be quite the help as well," Dumbledore said. "With Evans to guide all of them."

A month had barely passed, and already Remus felt himself winding down to the familiar antics of the newest, most insane, patient of all. In fact, Remus even found himself looking forward to the daily greetings, the insightful stories, and the common teachings of all that Sirius Black knew about magic. Remus could never wait when he would see Sirius walk through the double doors of the library, a little stick -or wand, as Remus soon learned- always in his grasp.

Remus still hated him though, especially since the boy still couldn't remember a thing about when they had first met. In fact, he could almost call himself unfair, considering that Remus had only begun to remember snippets a couple weeks ago.

"So as you can see," Sirius pointed out, waving his wand. "Saying 'Stupefy' is the perfect way to combat an enemy."

Remus nodded.

"Furthermore," Sirius continued, that smile still completely evident on his face. "The Full Body Bind spell works too. That, however, is a longer incantation, so when in the need to say a quick stunning spell, go with the Stupefy." He put his wand down then, smiling gently at Remus.

Remus glanced up at him, curious.

"I think that will be enough for today," he said softly, pocketing his wand.

Remus shook his head rapidly, grabbing onto the withdrawing arm with enough force to make the boy look at him curiously.

And it slipped.

It wasn't supposed to come out.

He even thought he had lost the ability.

"Please…" Remus whispered softly, almost inaudibly.

James stirred his food absentmindedly, staring at the strange mush with a sense of discomfort and uncertainty. It had been a month. A month and Sirius still hadn't come back from that ridiculous class trip all the sixth years were set on. He should have known from the very start that something had been off with the so called 'fun-fun adventure', as Flitwick had so kindly supplied. Strangely enough though, none of the teachers seemed as worried as he was. James narrowed his eyes at the goop in front of him. Surely Dumbledore, the headmaster and the one that went with Sirius' group, would think something odd was going off.

With a frustrated growl that scared Peter half to death, he stood up, eyes staring strait at the old Headmaster sitting right in the middle of the merry bunch of misfits known as teachers. With another growl he practically ran passed all of the students, earning a lot of gasps and stares. Finally his hands seemed to reach out by themselves, wrapping around the silky cloth of Dumbledore's robes, pulling their faces close. He was dimly aware that all voices stopped, that every eye was now on them.

"I think we need to talk," he bit out, eyes flashing.

Dumbledore nodded. "About Sirius, correct? Then yes, Mr. Potter, we do."

With that, James let go of the robes, dropping his hands to his sides, a triumphant grin on his face. Dumbledore stood up, pushing his plate away and making his way out of the Great Hall, James right behind him.

-TBC-

Okay, a month has passed, and Remus spoke his one word. Half of this story will take place at the mental hospital, the rest at Hogwarts. Remus is not a werewolf…yet. Hehehe, take that hint to heart. This chapter was mainly for Remus to wind down, get to know Sirius, and just have snippets of moments with him. The rest of this story will be longer.

-WhiteWolfCub

-TBC-

Bonus to fill up this page! How I got into Fanfiction and Slash!

Person to blame: Sister.

Person to thank for the rest of my life: Sister.

I was first introduced to fanfiction when I was like, twelve. Technically, my sister didn't even introduce me, she was just on it all the time and I was always looking over her shoulder like the good little girl I am. Anyway, I was honestly intrigued, and I found myself going onto our old, virus ridden, crap computer named Bob, and logging on to the site. The only thing I really knew back then was Inuyasha, so that was all I ever read and wrote. My old account had plenty of Mary-Sue stuff on it in the category of Inuyasha, so I deleted it. I can't remember how I deleted it though…so, please don't ask me. I probably did something illegal to get rid of it, I was that desperate.

Anyway, all I liked back then was Hetero (I still curse myself for it too), since as you already know, Sesshomaru and Naraku weren't banging each other senseless.

One night, as I often hung out in my sisters room back then, as I was watching the TV and she was reading fics on her laptop, I was curious what she was doing and it turned out she was reading a Sirius/Remus story. I admit, and kill me for this, I found it horribly disgusting! I know! Idiot me!

When she told me to read the story, not for the gay pairing but for the fact that it was actually a good story by itself, I said 'Okie-Dokie Smokey' (not really)and went to read it. I didn't fall in love with the story at all! I fell in love with the pairing, and soon after (like an hour after), I was totally in love with homosexuality and gay pairings and gay rights and all that jazz. That is how I fell in love!

Favorite Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Tsuzuki/Hisoka, Leon/Cloud, Riku/Sora, Krad/Dark, Satoshi/Daisuke (I don't know who would on top for this one though…).

I'm still getting to know even more pairings to this day as my obsession grows!