8The Winner
This is a fan fic made by a friend, not me this is all his words
Disclaimer: Neither I nor the friend who wrote this owns sonic
Sonic: Geeze, the sonic series hasn't been doing so well. I should do something about it. Maybe a wholesome game of cards will attract some publicity… no, maybe not. Cards are not very wholesome. Maybe I should host or participate in a game show… or both. Yah, I'll do that.
Narrator: sonic put posts up all around the green hill zone for applicants. By the following Friday, the following had signed up, Omochao, Sonic, Shadow, Rouge, Knuckles, Eggman, cream, Amy, blaze, and tails.
Sonic: All right… so… Amy, you are in. Omochao, you are in. Cream you are in. Knuckles, you are definitely in. Shadow… I'm sorry but you are evil and have an unfair advantage. And Tails you're in.
Shadow: So wait that means if I were to somehow become good, you'd let me in.
Sonic: yah, pretty much.
Shadow: fine then, I'm good now.
Sonic: alright, Shadow your in. Rouge, you're also not allowed.
Rouge: I'll give you 3 bucks and a blowjob.
Sonic: not a chance.
Rouge: I'll give you a stick of gum.
Sonic: make it 2 sticks of gum.
Rouge: fine 2 sticks of gum. Am I in now?
Sonic: wait, only one stick of gum.
Rouge: done
Sonic: ok you're in. Eggman and Blaze go home. Alright, it's settled. Let the game begin!
Blaze: wait what about me, don't you remember how we had all those good times together, and I learned all about trust and friendship, and you said you would be my friend.
Sonic: yeah but you were only in one game, that means no one cares about you.
Blaze runs away crying, and later become emo
EVENT 1
Sonic: our first events are elimination rounds. First, if you're black you're eliminated.
Shadow: hey, isn't that racist. And besides you didn't specify.
Sonic: fine, if you're black, and or red, you're eliminated.
Knuckles: Hah! Shadow you're black and or red. You got eliminated in the first round loser.
Shadow: yah, I no. wait you're red.
Knuckles: fuck. Sonic I hate you.
Sonic: and that ends our first event.
EVENT 2
Sonic: event 2 is another elimination round. On the count of three touch your nose. 1 2 3(everyone touches there nose but Omochao)
Omochao: hey sonic! I don't have a nose!
Sonic: oh… to bad. Omochao you are eliminated. Good job remaining contestants. Meet me at my house tonight for a party.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Tails: kickin' party sonic
Sonic: thanks tails, I've got to go talk to rouge now.
Rouge is talking to cream when sonic walks up.
Sonic: hey rouge why haven't I seen you on the set lately?
Rouge: apparently my boobs are inappropriate for children's TV, so I got promoted to wild boyz.
Sonic: really? I love that show, how come I haven't seen you?
Rouge: I don't know I'm in all of the bat scenes.
Sonic: really, those are my favorite; I wonder why I haven't seen you? Wait, did they censor out your boobs?
Rouge: I was wearing a shirt so I don't know why they would do that?
Sonic: well sometimes this weird blur moves across the screen.
Rouge: damn it, they did
Sonic: wow rouge, your boob are so x rated that they had to censor your entire body, even though you were wearing a shirt can I see them
Rouge: fuck you sonic
EVENT 3
Sonic: alright, today's event is a race, any questions? No? Ok get on the starting line.
Meanwhile, Rouge gets in her car and starts speeding towards the finish line
Sonic: Ready, set, go
Rouge finishes first, sonic second, and Tails and Cream don't quite make it
Sonic: ok, Rouge won, so it's down to, me, Tails, and Cream. Obviously, the fairest way to decide who gets eliminated is with "eeny meeny miny mo.
Just as the process was almost over, sonic was about to point to himself last, but skipped over himself and pointed to cream.
Sonic: oh, sorry cream, but you're eliminated.
Cream: awww
EVENT 4
Sonic: I'm gonna make this quick, Amy, your eliminated.
Amy: What? Fine, I'm dumping you sonic, or at least I am until Sega makes another half-assed attempt to resurrect the sonic series, then I'll be forced to date you again.
Sonic: I'm fine with that
EVENT 5
Sonic: for this event you must have blue skin by tomorrow.
Tails can't find anything blue, so he disqualifies himself. Meanwhile, Rouge finds Bloo from Foster's home for imaginary friends, and gives him 3 bucks to cling to her leg. She advances to the final round, with sonic.
FINAL EVENT
Sonic: our last round is survivor style, every eliminated person will vote for who they think should win, me or Rouge. First, you will ask us a question, and then you will decide who the winner is. Shadow, you're first.
Shadow: ok sonic, why do you think you should win.
Sonic: because I am blue, and blue is cool and beautiful
Rouge: no these are cool and beautiful (rouge goes topless)
Shadow: HOLY SHIT those are the biggest and most x rated boobs ever.
Shadow votes for rouge
Sonic: Amy your next
Amy: as it turns out, Sega just announced a new sonic game, so I have to get used to blindly obsessing over you sonic.
Amy votes sonic
Sonic: knuckles your next
Knuckles: neither one of you deserves to win, fuck you I'm voting Tails.
Knuckles votes tails
Sonic: cream?
Cream: fuck you both, I'm voting tails
Cream votes tails.
Omochao votes tails.
Tails votes for himself
The final score is Rouge: 1, Sonic: 1 Tails: 4
Sonic: well, tails it appears you've one, but you weren't a valid voting option so…
Sonic pulls out a gun and shoots tails in the head.
Sonic: and now it's a tie between me and rouge so…
Sonic tries to shoot rouge, but the bullet bounces of her giant x rated boobs, and hits him in the foot
Sonic: SON OF A BITCH
Sonic attempts several more times to kill rouge, but with similar effects.
Sonic: great now that all of those bullets bounced of off rouge and hit me in the limbs, I'm now a paraplegic.
Suddenly Eggman bursts in
Eggman: why wasn't I allowed in? I would've done great.
Sonic: shut up Eggman, your fat, and no one likes you.
Eggman: I like me…
Sonic: no, shut up and go home.
Eggman: fine
Eggman runs off crying.
Sonic: wow, that was easy, he usually does something drastic and inhumanly violent before he leaves.
Cream: yeah, that is strange…
Eggman reenters with
Eggman: thanks to you guys, I've decided that life isn't worth living anymore, I'm gonna kill myself.
Everyone cheers.
Sonic: what a miracle, to bad I can't move my arms or legs to celebrate.
Eggman: stop your celebrating. I've decided to take all you down with me.
Eggman rips of a large over coat, revealing hundreds of explosives duck taped to him
Everyone: oh fuck
Eggman detonates the bombs and everyone dies