Seeing her, laying in a pool of blood, had terrified him.
His beautiful girl, pale as the snow she´d laid in, her life pooling out of her.
He had done this.
He had seen the changes in her behaviour, had known that she had hidden something from him.
He hadn´t been able to stop her and now she had stabbed Samantha.
He´d seen her, running from the scene, and he hadn´t belived his eyes.
A glimpse of a knife.
Sami, dying in the snow.
And still, knowing what he had seen, he couldn´t bring himself to accuse her.
Couldn´t let Bo arrest her.
Couldn´t bare the thought of her rotting away in jail.
He had seen the look of panic in Lucas face, seen the love the man held for his daughter, and the guilt had been almost unbearable.
He should have stopped her.
If Samantha died...
The thought made it hard to breathe.
If he had to watch them lower her coffin into the ground...
Another victim of the serial killer.
And he would never forgive himself.
He had called the others, knowing that Lucas wouldn´t be able to.
Listening to his daughter´s brakedown was almost more than he could handle.
Leaving a message on his wifes cellphone had made his stomach turn.
The suspicion in Bo´s voice made him close his eyes.
Bo didn´t trust him anymore, knew he was hiding something.
He would figure it out soon and then all hell would brake loose.
And he couldn´t help but wonder where she was now.
Out searching for her next victim?
Or was it possible that he had made a mistake, that the woman he had seen running from the scene had just looked liked Marlena?
He doubted it. But hope was the last thing that died.
He had waited as long as he could to call Lucas´ mother, knowing that Sami wouldn´t want her there, and his jaw had ached when he had forced himself to be quiet as he listened to Kate. Her hate for his daughter, the glee in her voice had made him grip the phone so thight that his knuckels turned white.
In that moment he understood Samantha´s feelings for the woman.
Oh, so Sami´s in the hospital again? Hope she stays there, for good this time.
Did she really think that that was the smartest thing to say to him?
He bearly fought the urge to tell her what he thought of her words, of her, saying instead that she should pick Will up from school.
The phone call left a bitter taste in his mouth and he went to the nurses station in the search for water.
Then he had seen Lucas, sitting in a plastic chair, his head in his hands.
The call to his son had taken all strength from him and now the worry for the woman in surgery threatened to swallow him whole.
His love for Sami was unmistakable.
Just as his hate for her attacker wasundenaible.
John felt himself torn in two, the hate compeating with the love.
How could he not hate her? She had killed so many people he loved. She had stabbed his daughter and left her there to die. That alone was unforgivable.
How could he not love her? She was his life, the light that made his day brighter.
She had saved his life more times than he could count.
She had given him a child, the ultimate gift a woman could give a man.
And now, somehow, the woman he loved had most likely turned, become a monster.
He couldn´t help but wonder what he had done wrong. Wonder if he should have seen it sooner.
His wife, the woman people loved, trusted, was a killer.
A cold blooded murderer.
And it didn´t make any sense.
Pictures of his daughter, dying in the snow, a franatic Lucas leaning over her.
The familiar profile of a woman running from the scene, a knife in her hand.
Ambulance sirens coming closer.
The gruesome feeling that they where to late, that Sami was already gone.
An overwhelming sense of loss when the ambulance left, rushing her to the hospital.
Too late. He found out the killers identity too late.
It could cost him his daughters life.
The price was too high.
The guilt was too much.
Anger and frustration made Lucas yell, and although John understood, knowing he would do the same thing if he had been in Lucas´ shoes, he needed to calm down.
He needed to be strong for his son´s sake.
Knowing that seeing his father yelling at his mom´s doctor wouldn´t help Will, John put a hand on the other mans shoulder, hoping to ease the stress and frustration that was coming off Lucas in waves.
- Lucas, calm down. I know you are worried, we all are, but yelling at Lexie dosen´t help. She´s doing the best she can. Everyone here is.
Lucas pulled way from his touch and turned his head, staring at him.
John understood the anger and fear in the other mans eyes and he could live with the distrust. He probably deserved it. The relationship between him and Sami wasn´t the best, and it wasn´t all his strongheaded stepdaughters fault.
When you love someone you tend to remember those who hurt them.
Lucas loved Sami deeply. And John had hurt her badly in the past.
It wasn´t until he saw the hate in Lucas´ eyes that he started to worry.
And when he heard the words that came out of his mouth, saw the way Lucas fought to control himself, he knew.
The man wasn´t stupid.
He saw more, looked deeper than John had known.
And now he had started to suspect Sami´s mother.
John had no idea what to do, so he hid behind anger, lashing out at Lucas when he asked him about Marlena, only succeeding in fueling the younger mans anger and raising his suspicions.
Finally they stood there, staring at each other, and John saw his own death in Lucas´ eyes.
Saw the death of everyone who hurt the woman he loved.
In that moment, knowing that he was protecting the woman who had stabbed her own daughter, the guilt overwhelmed him. He couldn´t look Lucas in the eyes anymore.
He had failed the woman he loved as a daughter.
If she didn´t wake up, if she didn´t make it, his guilt would eat him alive.
And Lucas would go after Marlena, would kill the one who had murded the woman he loved.
The mother of his son.
The woman who he lived for.
Consequences be damned.
- You should go home, get some rest.
He turned from the window he had been staring out of and came face to face with Lexie Craver.
- I can´t. Not until I know that Samantha´s okey.
He was the only parent she had and he couldn´t, wouldn´t leave her.
Especially not considering that it was his wife that put her in a hospital bed in the first place.
What the heck had happened to her?
Lexie gave him a wry smile and shook her head.
- You sound just like Lucas. He refuseses to leave her bedside.
Well, he loved her. You don´t leave the people you loved alone when they were hurt.
Not when they where lying unconscious in a hospital bed because they had been attacked by a maniac killer.
Especially not if the killer could come and finish the job.
John felt his insides thighten.
Maybe that was the real reason he was staying put at the hospital. Hoping to catch her sneaking around Sami´s room.
She had done it before. Tony had been at the hospital when she had given him the injection that killed him.
She could go do it again. And if anybody saw her, well then she was just a concerned mother visiting her daughter. Nobody would suspect her.
And why should they?
He hadn´t given them any reasons to doubt her.
He didn´t blame Lucas for not letting Sami out of his sight. Couldn´t blame him for not letting him near her.
It drove him crazy not to see her, but as long as Lucas blamed him for the fact that she was in coma, as long as he suspected Marlena for the attack, there was no way in hell that he would let him anywhere near that hospital room.
It was probably for the best. If Sami woke up and saw him there...
- John? Are you alright?
Lexie´s voice interrupted his thoughts, and he managed to give her a small smile.
- Yeah. Sorry Lexie. There´s a lot of thoughts... He shook his head. - Never mind. Is Sami okey?
- There is no change.
- Meaning she´s still in a coma. That´s not good is it?
His beautiful girl...
Lexies facial expression confirmed his suspicions, but the words that came out of her mouth was those of a doctor. Clinical. Precise. And not really saying anything.
- It´s to soon to tell. The coma could just be a way for her body to heal.
- Or it could mean that her brain´s damaged.
- Maybe, but I doubt it. I was just in there checking on her. Her pupils are reactive to light.
John felt a flood of relief rush through him, but he pushed it down, refused to get his hopes up.
- Then why the heck isn´t she awake yet?
- I don´t know John. Look, her body´s been through a lot, she´s suffered a severe blood loss... It´s gonna take awhile.
- I´m sorry. I didn´t mean to question your competetens, it´s just...
He was acting like Lucas had earlier, lashing out at the one person who tried to help.
The one person who could help.
- I know. She´s your daughter. I would probably to the same thing if it was my son.
- Thank you.
Lexie shook her head, waving away his words.
- Don´t mention it.
She glanced at her watch, a peculiar look on her face.
- Aren´t your shift over?
- Two hours ago.
-Then why are you still here?
She smiled, but he could see the tears in her eyes.
- I need to keep busy. It is... It was our anniversary today.
First Abe. Then Tony. Lexie had lost two family members.
Her son would grow up without knowing his father.
All because of...
No. No. He couldn´t do this anymore.
- I´m sorry.
It was hard getting the words past his lips.
- I know. And it´s not your fault.
But it was. And he shouldn´t be here, waiting for a result that maybe wouldn´t come.
He should be out there, working with Bo and Hope. He should bring her in.
But she was still his wife. He still loved her.
And if Samantha died she would have killed her own daughter.
-Maybe it is.
She stared at him, her eyebrows raised.
-What do you mean?
He looked at her, saw the tears that still lingered in her eyes and knew he couldn´t tell her. Not yet. Not until he had some proof.
Not until he had talked to his wife.
- Nothing. I was just... It´s nothing.
She didn´t belive him. He could see it in her eyes.
And she wasn´t a woman that backed down. That was what had made her such a good cop all those years ago.
- Nothing huh? The same nothing that happened between you and Lucas earlier?
- Yes. And it´s between him and me.
She shook her head, irritation shining from her eyes.
- And Marlena apparently. Stubborn idiots!
She wasn´t just talking about him and he couldn´t help but wonder what Lucas had told her.
- You asked Lucas?
She snorted and gave him an incredulous look.
- No John. He was a little too busy breaking down to actually talk. He´s terrified. And frankly, so am I. If you or Marlena know more than you are saying so help me God...
She wanted to know who had killed her husband and her brother.
So did he.
For a whole other reason.
To her, it would bring peace. To him and his family it would bring only more heartache.
- Look, I can´t... I can´t tell you. Not yet.
- Fine. I need to go and check on a patient anyway.
He knew he had hurt her, knew she didn´t trust him. But he couldn´t to anything about it. Not then anyway.
He watched walk away, knowing he hadn´t heard the last from her
Twelve hours later he saw Lucas stepping out of the hospital room, collapsing in a chair outside Sami´s hospital room. And fear crept up John´s spine.
When he saw the tears on the younger mans face he felt like dying.
He walked closer, dread washing over him.
He didn´t regognize his own voice.
The other man looked up from the where he sat, tears streaming down his face.
- She woke up. Lexie... Lexie´s checking up on her now.
Alive. His girl was alive.
And John felt like crying himself.
- So, she´s okey?
The relief that flooded through him almost made him choke.
Lucas got up from the chair, the look on his face changing. Hardening.
- She dosen´t remember much. She knows that someone stabbed her, but she dosen´t know who it was.
That was odd. John was sure that she had seen her attacker. She had stared at him, a look of terror on her face before she had passed out.
If Sami had seen the attackers face that meant that she hadn´t worn a mask. And that meant that she was getting careless. And desperate.
And that was not a good combination.
- She dosen´t?
Lucas shrugged his shoulders.
- That´s what she says.
And the tone of Lucas´ voice made John look closer at the young man.
- You don´t belive her?
Lucas looked at the door to her room and sighed.
- I don´t know. I think she´s still in chock. She may be repressing her memories.
- But that only happens if the memories are too painfull, too traumatic. Any idea what those memories could be John?
John felt his defenses going up.
- She was attacked. I would imagine that is traumatic.
- Yeah. Especially if your attacked by someone you know. Like say, once mother?
Lucas was getting too close and he was pushing at things he should leave alone.
- Speaking of mothers, I can´t imagine yours is too happy that you spent the night here.
The younger man gave him a smile that didn´t reach the eyes.
- Nice change of subject, I´ll give you that. But just so you know, I don´t give a fuck what my mom has to say about where I spend my nights.
- From what I´ve heard, you´ve spent your nights all over the town. With all kinds of women. So what are you doing here huh? Waiting for Sami too wake up so you could
add her as a notch on your bedpost?
John knew he had gone to far when he saw Lucas´ jaw tighten and his eyes turned cold.
- Say that again and your face will hit the ground. You damn well know that I love her. You figured that out yesterday. So you think can we cut crap now ?
Although he was pretty sure that he could take Lucas in a fight, he didn´t want to take the chance. Rage and adrenalin was flowing through the younger mans veins, and from the look in his eyes and the way his hands had turned into fists, he was imagening John in a shallow grave.
John sighed and drew a hand through his hair.
- What is it you want Lucas?
Lucas was seeting with an anger he was fighting to keep under control.
- You are not stupid John. You may be a lying sonofabitch who couldn´t care less about your so called daughter, but you aren´t stupid. What I want? How about telling me why your wife almost killed her daughter with a kitchen knife? And so help me God if you lie to me.
TBC... I updated sooner this time. Yay! Cheers all over the world... LOL So, press the little button below and let me know what you think. The next chapter is gonna be Lucas´ POV.