91Okay, this fic takes place about six months after the series finale. I have made some changes from the original to make it more suitable for the T catagory. I hope it's ok. I usually just write how I feel the whole event would happen so I hope the edits are okay and run smoothly. It is mainly a Shal/Brennan fic, but I have tried to add as much of the rest of the cast as possible. I really loved the Jesse/Lexa dynamic, but this story just seemed to work itself out for me. I hope you give it a try and let me know what you think.
Thanks to Stephanie, Sara, and Rachel for all the help and hard work they have put in to helping me with this project. This evolved from a simple journal with nothing but entries to an entire story. What can I say but my muse decided to inspire me.
I own nothing and all of the Mutant X rights belong to Marvel, Tribune and of course Avi Arid.
Please R&R - I really appreciate all the comments to let me know what you think.
1 Visiting Home 1
Footsteps sounded lightly over the ruins of what was once called home, or better known as their Sanctuary, and an old life that was missed dearly. Out of the darkness a petite lithe form emerged. Eyes flashed amber and the body moved as a predator among the debris and wreckage. Slowly the feral known as Shalimar moved out of the shadows into a ray of sunlight cast through one of the holes blown into the roof, lighting up her being and causing her gold hair to glow even in the gloom.
She breathed out a sigh as she realized that the building was well and truly empty sans the leftovers of a life that had been destroyed. She walked into what had been her room at one time and surveyed the damage and what was left of the possessions that were not trashed or destroyed by the invading Dominion teams. Memories came flooding back from the many years she had spent in this room and all of the tears and laughter that it had seen. She jumped, taken off guard by a squeaking and scurrying as several small animals that had made themselves at home in the remnants of her bed, fled through a gaping hole in the wall leading to what was left of Brennan's room. She gave a shaky laugh and put her hand to her mouth, to squelch the sound that reverberated or to keep from screaming she wasn't quite sure.
Suddenly she realized that she felt more alone and desolate then she had in the past 6 months. It was stupid to come back here on her part, who knows what kind of traps might have been left, but she had to, she had to find some peace to give her sanity and help her to move on with her life, and maybe give her direction as to where to go from here.
Pacing around her old room she found an old photo album that she stuck in her empty, faded, brown leather bag. She would look at that later she chided herself as she resisted opening it and reminding herself of time long ago. Only one of her knickknacks survived, it was a snow globe of a dancing unicorn; Jesse had gotten it for her his first Christmas at Sanctuary. She smiled at the memory of that before wrapping it in a rag that looked like it had at one time been one of her shirts. Searching around for a few more moments she grabbed a few items of jewelry that were scattered around a broken jewelry box, and moved on to see what else was left to examine.
The only two of the remaining rooms that were accessible were Brennan's and Emma's old room that she knew had nothing left to offer her. She lightly fingered what was left of the door frame to Brennan's old room and heaved a sigh before stepping over the rubble into the room. Memories again bombarded her as she took in the lingering scents in the room. Her eye's watered, but she blinked back the tears and continued her search for anything worth salvaging for herself and maybe for Brennan, if…no when she saw him again. She found a few of his old books including the one that Adam gave him not long after he joined, Walt Whitman. The cover was faded and worn, but considering it was still in good shape.
Several more minutes of picking through the debris netted very little that Shalimar was interested in or worth saving. She had this feeling like there was something more for her to find here. She walked over to a space on the wall that she had remembered seeing open one time she had been in here tormenting Brennan, but never thought about it again. She walked to the wall and after careful examination found the almost hidden seams. She took several seconds of pushing and prying before finding the catch on shelf several inches above the cubby. Shalimar coughed and sputtered slightly as the dust rose from the area. As the dust cleared she finally found something that she never remembered seeing before. Shalimar smiled to herself thinking how secretive Brennan could be about things. He had a cow when she confiscated his little black book; she smiled faintly at the memory. This book had a faded blue velvet cover, and she opened it before she even realized it, and saw something that she hadn't expected to see. It looked like a journal. Shal shook her head, she never knew, for that matter, she didn't know if anyone else knew that he kept a journal. In a way it made the most sense. He loved to read and mentioned wanting to write a book about his crazy life on more then one occasion. She walked out of the room and settled herself on one of the stairs leading to the now destroyed second floor.
Shalimar looked around as if expecting someone to yell at her for invading someone else's privacy, but she felt as if she had a right to. She's in love with him damn it, and just wants some part of him back for a few minutes. The binding cracks slightly, but gives easily as if opened hundreds of times. On the first page she sees Brennan's scrawled handwriting and smiles as she reads the first entry.
October 14, 2001
Well I'm officially part of a team now, Mutant X, huh, "Hey mom, look at me – I'm a superhero!" Oh Boy! I'm still not sure about it. It does sound like an adventure though, and who has ever known me to turn down one of them! This whole Mutant X thing is so weird though. I never imagined a band of mutant superhero's trying to save people and mutants, let alone being asked to be part of them. At least I'm secure in knowing that I will have a roof over my head for as long as I'm here, and it is a beautiful place. Sanctuary, the double entendre is unmistakable. I can't help but feel at peace in this place though.
The past few days have been a wild ride to say the least. Just a few days ago I'm breaking into a bank vault for a pittance of what I'm bringing out; I'm surviving and enjoying life and loving the thrill of adrenaline coursing through my veins when I pull a job. Then I meet Emma for the second time in as many days, and learn about this whole "dark side" of the mutant world. It was a strange eye-opening experience to say the least. It is weird when you realize things that are going on in the world around you for the first time, and there are things in this life that just might be worth something bigger…
I don't know why, but I felt some resentment toward Adam for letting those goons haul me away. Maybe because they fought so hard for Emma and left me to the people that Emma had shown me were the bad guys in all this. I have been alone for a long time, and been rolled on by more then one person. I relented and just figured that this was one more jam I would have to get myself out of. One thing stuck out in my mind though, Jesse and Shalimar were willing to continue fighting for me without having any clue as to who I am, maybe I'm getting soft in my old age, but something about that touched me and made me think that they wouldn't leave me to die.
Eckard had no idea of what he was getting himself into when he tried to bullshit a bullshitter with his high and mighty attitude. I guess no one ever warned him of that old adage. I think when Eckard tried to break me; I really became wary of what was to become of me. I also didn't like the idea of wearing that stupid governor. Restricting my freedom was probably his biggest mistake. Who did he think he was to leash me like an untrustworthy dog? I guess trusting me would have caused him even more trouble though.
I couldn't help but get wigged when I used my powers on another person. I was bothered by the fact that I was going to be used to electrocute people. I lied to Emma when I said I had never used my powers on another person before. I hate the thoughts of it though. I feel like a monster sometimes, and I don't like to think about the damage that I can do to anyone. It was strange to have these other mutants who understood what that felt like and accept me and not be afraid to touch me or be near me. My own family wasn't even like that.
When I think back to my family and growing up I sometimes wonder what I missed. But watching Shalimar, Jesse, and Adam together, they act like a family, and somewhere deep inside I think I would like to be part of a family like this. I worry about the lack of freedom that I might have living here, but Shalimar told me that aside from missions we had a lot of freedom. I am restricted from bringing girls back here, for obvious reasons. That hopefully won't cramp my style. It can be a good thing though. I mean if I meet up with another Nichole or Tara, having them not know where I live would be a good thing. Emma had mentioned her lack of a stable family structure when she was growing up, and I think that the family setting was a good thing in her mind, even if she doesn't realize it yet.
Emma is amazing with her empathic ability. It is strange to feel like someone will be able to ready my emotions, and know what I'm feeling. It is disconcerting though, I don't know if I like the idea, especially when I'm trying to be alone and read or just ignore everyone; plus lets face it, having two hot women hanging around can lead to some pretty dirty thoughts sometimes.
Jesse seems like he spent too much of his life being pampered. I haven't seen anyone on the streets that will wear their heart on their sleeve like he does. He also seems to be easily hurt, which I will have to help him get over, I will go nuts if he gets upset too often. I can respect that he is a good fighter though.
Shalimar is wild and beautiful, but I have a feeling she would die before letting anything happen to Adam or Jesse. I don't know what it is like to know someone like that or feel that way about someone. I wonder if she would ever feel that way about Emma or me. The flipside of that is; will I ever feel that way about these people?
Adam has helped me to understand my abilities a little better. I have known for a long time that I wasn't the only mutant, but I never understood why I had these powers. Meeting Adam has helped me to come to terms with my abilities, and Adam says that I can learn more control over them then I already have. It would be great to learn how to control my voltage levels better.
I guess I will be here for a little while at least. I just have to remember to take out the trash after I burn my dinner. Jesse forgot to warn me about Shalimar's pet peeve of leaving horrible smelling garbage in the kitchen. At least she left the trash in the bag on my bed. Of course there was a warning that next time it wouldn't be in the bag. She's feisty; I think we will get along pretty well!
Shalimar had tears running down her face as she reread the page remembering the one line she said to him when he joined "No hazing, no handshakes." She had no idea why that popped into her mind. Shalimar realized she sat just a few feet away from where that had taken place almost 4 years ago. Silently she wept.