Six Evil-Doers and a Baby
Disclaimer: I don't own Austin Powers, Dr. Evil, or any members of Dr. Evil's organization. I only own Kaeoss Weapon-of-Mass-Destruction Evil, A.J.'s Adoption Ajency, and Princess Fluffykins, the evil kitty. Many ideas for this story I owe to various friends.
Chapter 1: The Idea
"Where did I go wrong?" thought Dr. Evil gloomily. He and Scott had just had one of their many arguments. Scott was annoyed about all the attention he gave Mini-Me. He tried to be evil and impress his father, but all Dr. evil ever did was tease him and say he was semi-evil, and quasi-evil, even the Diet Coke of evil! Just one calorie! Not evil enough! In Dr. Evil's opinion, Scott had rejected him as a role model. The argument had ended with Scott storming out and Dr. Evil throwing a model of the earth at the wall. So much for Preparation H! Oh, well. Not much use worrying about it. Time to hit the hay! And so, Dr. Evil turned out his light and went to sleep.
Dr. Evil tossed and turned. He was having a very weird dream. He walked into the main chamber of his lair, and found a screaming baby on the table. Just then, Frau Farbissina walked in looking not at all surprised that there was a child in their meeting space. "I didn't know you were going to have a baby, Frau,"said Dr. Evil. "Oh, it's not mine, Herr Doktor. It's yours!" Dr. Evil was shocked. "Say what!" Just then, Number2 walked in. "Hello, Dr. Evil. How are you and the baby?" "Huh!" Then, in walked Scott. "Hey, Pop. Hey, Little Guy!" Finally, Fat Bastard came in yelling, "Baby! The other White Meat!" "What is with this freaky-deaky baby business?" Finally, Mini-Me ran screaming across the room and Dr. Evil woke up. "That's it!" he said to himself. "I was cryogenically frozen! I wasn't there to teach Scott to be evil! I shall have to start over!" But the baby would have to be adopted. Dr. Evil did NOT wish to see Frau in labor! He had a feeling it would NOT be pretty. It would begin no later than tomorrow.
The Evil Organization was gathered at the meeting table and Dr. Evil was ready to make his announcement. "Your attention, please. I am dying-"Everyone gasped. "To tell you all that I am adopting-"Everyone went "AWWWWWWW." He went on. "A new face-"Everyone gave him weird looks. Dr. Evil said, "LET ME FINISH! To this family. I am taking on a foster child, preferably a baby. OK, now I'm done." There was a flurry of congratulations and Dr. Evil whipped out his cell phone. "I will now call A.J.'s Adoption Ajency and tell them my intentions." Number2 said," A.J.'s Adoption Ajency! They're the least reputable place in the universe!" "Exactly," Dr. Evil said, dialing the number.
So Dr. Evil is taking on a foster kid. Start reviewing! PLLLEASSE!