This is the part where the baby finally shows up!
Chapter 3: Kaeoss Ensues.
"Hi. I'm Brad, the social worker." Dr. Evil had opened the door and standing on the stoop was a zit-faced teen named Brad, the social worker. "Um, hi." Dr. Evil replied. "I'm from A.J.'s Adoption Ajency," Brad continued in his boring, annoying monotone. "Um, yeah, about that. We were expecting someone a little older." " Whatever. In my hometown, for us teens, it's either A.J.'s or the Pizza Plaza, and pizza gives me gas. Now aren't you gonna let me in, Baldo?" Dr. Evil sighed and let him in. " Now, while you sign this, like, paperwork, I'll go get the baby. Yeah." Ten minutes later, Brad came in carrying a basket wherein lay a 3-month-old Goth baby. It was in a black lace nightie and held a little black plush bat. Its eyes were like black pearls set into its little, round face, and its hair shone like a raven's feathers. It even had intricate black eye makeup(Dead Giveaway Alert!). Dr. Evil stared at it, love slowly building up in his eyes. "Breathtaking. He's so CUTE!" "Uh….about that," Brad monotoned. "Quiet, Zit-boy. I'm trying to bond with my son. Shouldn't you be getting back to A.J.'s and looking after the other weirdo orphans? You know. That old chestnut." "Mr. Evil," Brad continued. "Dr. Evil. I didn't go to evil medical school for six years to be called Mr. Evil, Monotone Man." "OK, DR. Evil. It's a she." Brad had finally gotten it out. Dr. Evil was stunned. "But-but I thought it was a boy!" Brad sighed. This job could be SO difficult. Oh well. Better to be here giving GothGirl to her psycho new family than to be in the nursery changing the octopus baby! He decided to be patient with them, as patient as a monotonous teenage social worker could be, anyway.
"Yeah. She's a girl. Her parents were two college-student Goths. Father got killed in a gang fight. Mom was hoping to have a boy, to avenge the father, yeah, but instead she pops out Maiden of Darkness here. She thinks, 'Aw, crap! How's this kid gonna avenge him?' So she leaves her at A.J.'s like the other wierdos. Since you guys are evil, I figured you'd be a good family for her. Court meeting in a month. Bye, Baldo." And with that, Brad left.
"So I have a girl," Dr. Evil said. "OK, that's cool." Just then, the baby started crying. "Aw, c'mon! Give Daddy a break!" Dr. Evil was clueless about what to do about it, so he did what every incompetent dad in his situation does: call the nearest woman! "FRAU! Help me!" Frau took the baby and whipped out a bottle out of nowhere and started feeding her. While Frau fed the baby, Number2 remarked "Dr. Evil, this child is going to be a constant source of chaos." "Number2…..you're a genius! That's what I'll call her."