***Don't own Star Trek. Nope. If I did, I wouldn't be sitting here, but rather, I would be off in Switzerland in my amazing mansion...*cough* Anyhoo.


I know that the story is complete and all. Wow, I wrote that story a LONG TIME ago. Well, long in my opinion. Anways, I was digging around in My Documents folder and came across these, buried in the archives of my writing files! Wow! Yeah - so I thought they were funny, and decided to post them. If you don't like them you can yell at me or just not say anything at all... It's a shame, I can't write like this anymore. I've gotten too...pessimistic, I suppose would be the best word. XD

BLOOPERS!

Well, SOMETHING of that sort...

TAKE ONE

"Captain!" Beverly exclaims. "That much pain receptor activity in their brains could overload their normal brain patterns. You could kill them Captain!"

Picard laughs maniacally… "Muhahaha!"

TAKE ONE

Q's usual sarcastic face displays a grin. "How are you, Data?"

"I believe I am functioning within normal parameters," Data says slowly.

Q chuckles to himself. "I'm sure."

Data studies Q. "Although my…brain seems to be experiencing some technical difficulties."

"Does that mean you're an idiot now?"

"What? No!"

"Well why not, Brent?"

"Because…because that's not in the script, John!"

TAKE TWO

Q's usual sarcastic face displays a grin. "How are you, Data?"

"I believe I am functioning within normal parameters," Data says slowly.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh…yes."

"How?"

"Because…" Data's looking a little unsure why Q is asking him these ridiculous questions.

"But is that a good reason?" Q is looking very happy with the situation.

Data peers at him with a smile. "Do you just feel like bugging me today?"

"Maybe…"

TAKE THREE

Q chuckles to himself. "I'm sure."

Data studies Q. "Although my…brain seems to be experiencing some technical difficulties."

"And why do you say that?"

Data looks at him, tries in vain to remember what to say, then begins laughing. "Because they told me to."

TAKE FOUR

"What can I say?" Q says, shrugging. "My grip on cybernetics is a bit…lacking," he says with a sly smile. His face turns disgusted again. "Being human is such a cursed way to live…perhaps I can take it back-"

"No!" Data says sharply. His gaze is intently focused on his hand, as the smile grows on his face. "I am human."

Q leans forward. "No DER!"

Data starts uncontrollably laughing again. "Would you STOP it?"

TAKE FIVE

"What can I say?" Q says, shrugging. "Oh, I know!" Q clears his throat. "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" Q looks at Data. "Can you say that?"

Data concentrates, then replies. "How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?" He then adds, "A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

Q is very determined now. "A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk. She sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells."

"She sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely seashells. So if she sells shells on the seashore, I'm sure she sells seashore shells. Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?" Data takes a moment to catch his breath, then states, "Betty Botter had some butter, 'But,' she said, 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, it would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter-
that would make my batter better.' So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter, and she baked it in her batter, and the batter was not bitter. So 'twas better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter."

Q stares at Data. "That's not fair." He walks away from the set. Data is smiling proudly. "That's not fair!" he calls.

TAKE ONE

The hunted have two options when cornered: fight, or flight. And when fighting is impossible, there is really only one other choice.

Run. Run like the wind.

And that is exactly what Data does. He glimpses the rocky, orange dusted hills ahead of him and runs like mad towards them.

Unfortunately, he trips over a stick in his path that the set designers forgot to move. He sails toward the big plastic rock that he is supposed to hide behind and crashes through it. A woman screams.

"Sorry!"

Everyone is laughing as Data briskly walks back out. "That wasn't funny!"

TAKE ONE

Picard hears a series of mechanical bleeps and automatically responds, "Come."

He looks up from his book to discover Beverly standing there. "What is it Beverly?"

"Whatcha doin'?" Beverly asks in a sing song voice.

Catching on, Picard replies in the same sing song manner, "Readin' a book."

"Is it good?"

"Yep."

"What's it about?"

"I don't know. It has blank pages. I think I'm supposed to be pretending to read it."

Beverly laughs and walks off set.

TAKE ONE

Deanna runs faster, and the Commander falls behind with the others. Deanna keeps going. She half runs, half slides halfway down a hill and comes to a large rock…and past it. Data gets up from his lying position on the rock to see her go sliding past him.

She comes marching back up, acting as if nothing happened. Continuing with his lines, Data says, "Counselor, why are you crying?"

Deanna is in fact laughing to the point of tears. She waves him off and walks past him and back up the hill, still laughing. Data looks confused and lies back down on his rock.


Yup. Well, there they are. Comment if you'd like.