Disclaimer: I don't own Yami No Matsuei, no matter how much I wish I did…
This story goes from Hisoka's point of view to Tsuzuki's, just to warn you. Just a random story I wrote in my free time, hope you like it.
-Hisoka's point of view-
Tsuzuki has been moping. I can safely say that it's starting to annoy the heck out of me. We had a meeting earlier this morning and since then he's been moping around. We've been assigned a new partner, temporarily, basically we're suppose to scare this person out of working for the ministry. Tatsumi was smart in paring the guy with us, Tsuzuki can driver any sane person insane, like me for example.
"Tsuzuki, Kurosaki. You will be accompanied by a new guardian. His name is Hiroo, and he just recently joined our ranks. You are to show him what exactly we do. No complaints" Tatsumi said looking at Tsuzuki.
"But Tatsumi! We don't need anyone to come along. They'll just get in the way." Tsuzuki whined.
"Deal with it." Tatsumi said, leaving no room for debate.
"Tatsumi do you really want to pair him with us? We may scare him off." I said.
Tatsumi smirked. It's rather scary when he does that. "That's the point. If we have a new person, it means one more person to watch, to find a partner, to pay… That's why I've paired him with you two. You both should be able to drive him off."
I was right. Same old Tatsumi. Right about then there was a knock at the door.
"That must be him. Come in! Tatsumi said.
I looked up and saw a man enter. He had to be a little younger than Tsuzuki about the same size. He had dark hair, and piercing blue eyes. Don't ask me how that happened. He came in and introduced himself as Hiroo, and that he was pleasured to be working with us.
I don't know what it was, but there was something odd about him. I'm not sure what. He didn't seem to be a bad person, as far as I could tell with my empathy, but I've been wrong before. I suppose I better watch him closely. Apparently Tsuzuki didn't like him, and began to complain again about having to bring a new person along. Yes. The headache begins…
I had finally gotten my first descent sleep all week, and now Tsuzuki's emotions won't leave me alone! I can't stand it; I have to ask him about it.
"Tsuzuki what's bothering you?"
He looks up from his desk and gives me a small smile. "Nothing, nothing."
I roll my eyes at that. I can't stand it when he lies to me. It makes me feel as if he doesn't trust me, even after everything we've been through. It hurts. I can't explain why it does, but it hurts thinking that he doesn't trust me.
"Tsuzuki…" I start, but right then our new partner comes in.
"Tatsumi wants to see you Tsuzuki." Hiroo said.
Tsuzuki gets and leaves, leaving Hiroo, and all of his unshielded emotions, with me alone.
This really isn't my day….
Besides the fact that Hiroo can't shield if his life depended on it, the guy seemed alright. He was murdered by some serial killer and wanted to make sure that kind of thing didn't happen again. I wasn't about to destroy his dream but who was this guy kidding.
Tsuzuki didn't seem to like Hiroo. Every time Hiroo tried to talk with him, Tsuzuki dismissed him. It was all rather confusing. Tsuzuki normally likes everyone, but he didn't like Hiroo. It was strange….
We finished the case in record time. It was a simple mission really. Retrieve a soul that hadn't moved on yet. I don't think this'll keep Hiroo from wanting to stay with us, but what can Tsuzuki and I do. It's not like I can make a psychotic murder appear out of thin air. If that was the case, Muraki would be dead by now. Yes… I can dream…
We headed back to the hotel, it was too late to return to Meifu, and so we decided to stay. It was one room, with two beds; apparently Tatsumi didn't plan on having Hiroo with us. This was going to be interesting….
"No way!" I yell at Tsuzuki and Hiroo, when they ask who I'll be sleeping with. "You two sleep together!"
Sure Hiroo and Tsuzuki are a lot larger than me, but why am I the one stuck in these situations. There is no way I'm going to share a bed with either of them. I have shared a bed with Tsuzuki before, but that was awkward…I'm not going to go into that.
"But Hisoka you're the smallest, it makes sense for you to share a bed with one of us." Hiroo replied.
I don't care if it makes sense. NO! I've been trying to sort out my feelings for Tsuzuki and I doubt this would help. NO. And I'm not sleeping with Hiroo, that would be weird on so many levels. Their emotions are weighing down on me so I go out onto the balcony of the room.
I close the door behind me as I step out into the fresh air. It's rather peaceful out here, and it gives me time to think. Why has Tsuzuki been acting strange all day? And why do I care so much? I realize that I feel something for him but I don't know what. It's all so confusing.
I hear the door to the balcony open and close. I wasn't really paying that much attention, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I look up expecting it to be Tsuzuki but it's Hiroo instead.
"You alright? You left all of sudden." He asks.
"I'm fine. Just needed some air." I reply. There's something I don't like about his emotions right now. They seem darker…
"Oh, good." He replies smiling, while moving his hand down to my hip.
"What are you doing?" I ask. He's making me a little nervous.
"What does it look like Hisoka." He replies, bringing me closer.
"Let go Hiroo!" I say trying to move away from him.
"No." he says. "I'm not going to let go."
I look up at him. I'm scared. I'll admit it. Hiroo's emotions, they're so similar to that night.
"I thought you would have figured it out. I'm not that difficult to figure out. Even your partner seemed to notice. I guess you're just unlucky." He says.
I'm about to retort but he kisses me. The bastard!
I try to push away, but he pins be against the railing, making it very difficult for me to move.
"Hiroo! Stop!" I yell as he pulls back.
"No Hisoka. Do you have any idea how attractive you are? How so many people would die to have you? I'm not one to want, I have. I get what I want, and I want you." He says leaning in and biting my neck.
"No! Get off of me! Tsuzuki!" I yell.
He laughs. Have I mentioned that I hate it when the evil people laugh? It's always one of two things: 1. They know more than you. 2. They're so in control that they can laugh at your helplessness or naiveté.
"Tsuzuki went out for a walk, after you came out here. He'll be gone for a while, so I have plenty of time." He says as he starts to remove my shirt.
I try to struggle, but he's so much bigger than me, that it's hopeless. I felt myself being guided onto the floor of the balcony. I continue to struggle, but he pins be down with both his arms. He was able to remove me shirt and pants at some point, I have no idea when exactly.
I feel his lips move down to my chest. That's when I sense it. Those emotions, I know them. They're so faint in comparison to Hiroo's emotions that I almost missed them.
"Tsuzuki…" I quietly whisper.
Hiroo looks up from his work and looks directly into my eyes. He had heard. That's when I hear the footsteps down below. Hiroo does as well because he covers my mouth with his hand.
The look in his eyes lets me know the truth. It's Tsuzuki, I know it is.
I begin to struggle with a new found energy. Hiroo's having difficulty keeping me under control. I can't let this happen. If I don't do something then…the… That's not going to happen.
I bite down on his hand, hard. And yell out. "Tsuzuki!"
I know he heard me and I call out again. "Tsuzuki! Please!"
Hiroo hit me across the face, so hard that I can see stars. I don't' know what's happening, but I feel a weight being lifted off of me. The world is getting dark, but as I feel myself being lifted up into strong, warms arms, I know I'm safe as I let the darkness consume me…
-Tsuzuki's point of view-
How could I let this happen...
I bring Hisoka in and lay him down on one of the beds. I can't believe what just happened. I should have been there. What if things had gone further? What if I was too late? I knew I didn't like that guy, I should have said something to Hisoka instead of moping, but… The guy liked Hisoka, my Hisoka. I could tell as soon as he stepped in the door. He had a look in his eyes that said, mine, and it scared me. I thought I was being paranoid, but I guess I was wrong… and now, it almost happened again…it…
I heard a slap following Hisoka's voice. I realized that it had come from the balcony so I quickly flew up. I didn't like what I saw at all. Hisoka was pinned under Hiroo, and practically naked. I was enraged. Hiroo looked up at me with a smirk. This was not happening…
He told me to leave, so he could get back to his "business". HELL NO! I decided to go with my instincts for once and punched him in the face. That felt good. He fell off of Hisoka. I quickly picked him up, and held him as he lost consciousness.
"Leave now." I said through gritted teeth. "Tatsumi will be informed and you will be moving on. If you are not out of my sight in three seconds, you will know why I'm the most powerful shinigami."
He looked at me, and really pondered my words.
"NOW!" I yelled. And he ran. He was gone, and right when I was about to rip him to shreds. What a shame.
I let my eyes travel down to the youth asleep on my bed. I can't help but smile at how peaceful he looks in his sleep. I sit down on the bed, carefully as to not disturb his sleep. I gently brush back a few strands of hair out of his eyes. He leans into the touch. I bring my hand away, knowing that Hisoka would probably kill me if he woke up right then. I can't help it, he's just so cute when he's asleep, not to mention when he awake and not yelling at me.
I've been thinking a lot lately, mainly about my relationship with Hisoka. I know by now that I love him, in a different way than anyone else. It's more than a simple friendship or brotherly affection. I can't tell him. No. He's not ready for that. I don't want to burden him with my feelings. Besides he deserves someone better than me. He deserves so much more.
He stirs in his sleep. All I can do is reach out and grab hold of his hand, hoping that it'll be of some comfort. His stirring stops and I let out a sigh of relief. Does he know how much he makes me worry? He turns onto his side and curls up in a little ball, bringing his knees to his chest. It's sooo cute. I just can't help myself as I find my head moving on its own towards Hisoka.
Just one little kiss, that's all. At least that's what I tell myself. Hisoka would never let me do this if he was awake, but I should, but I can't help it… This is too much for my mind right now. He wouldn't mind if I stole one little kiss. Yes. That's what I decide on.
I lean down and press my lips to his slightly parted ones. It's just like I've always imagined. They're so soft and parting? Yes they are. Hisoka lets out a slight moan and parts his lips. I should pull away, not go any further, but I can't help it.
I carefully slip my tongue in. I never would have imagined that he'd taste so…sweet. I love that taste and continue to explore his mouth. Every inch of it is exposed to me. This is what I wanted, what I needed, but no.
I pull away. This is wrong, so wrong. I can't do this to Hisoka. I just can't.
"Tsuzuki…?" I hear.
I look up and meet two emerald green orbs staring at me.
"Hisoka… I'm so sorry." Is all I can say.
"What for?" He asks confused, as he sits up.
What! Is it possible he doesn't know what I've just done?
"Tsuzuki, I know you may be mad at me for what happened. I should have asked you what was bothering you. But no, I didn't. I'm sorry. And now, when you pulled away… I felt how angry and disgusted you were. I know that I'm not worthy of your affection, and that I'm tainted. But I had hoped…" He trails off as tears cascade down his cheeks.
Okay… I'm confused. He knew, and wasn't disgusted. Disgusted… Wait, did he just say… Oh crap, what have I done?
I move over and carefully embrace him. He clings to my shirt sobbing.
"Please don't leave me… I'm sorry." He says through choked sobs.
Why is he saying he's sorry? He hasn't done anything wrong, he never has. What I did was wrong. And why does he think I'll leave him.
"Hisoka… I'm going to leave you, ever. You have nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong." I say rubbing small circles on his back.
"But Hiroo…" He starts. I place a finger on his lips. He blushes. I'm slightly taken back. Hisoka has never been this open before. It's incredible really.
"What Hiroo did wants your fault. It wasn't Hisoka. I'm not angry or disgusted with you either. I am at myself for doing that to you in your sleep." I say.
He begins to cry again. Why do I always seem to hurt those I care about the most?
"Hisoka what's wrong? Please tell me." I whisper into his ear.
"I knew you didn't want me, at last in that way. But, I can't, I don't know…"
"What don't you know Hisoka?" I ask, rather confused.
"I don't know what I want. I like what you were doing, but I don't understand." He says, unsure of his own words.
Okay, let me think this though. 1. Hisoka actually liked me kissing him. 2. He's confused about how he feels, about me I'm guessing. 3. Man he has a nice ass. Crap! I probably shouldn't have thought about that last one, being so close to him and all.
But he blushes. Have I mentioned how cute he is when he does that?
"Tsuzuki…" he starts. "What do you feel for me? What do I mean to you Tsuzuki?" He asks.
Okay. Who is this person and what have they done with the real Hisoka. Hisoka is never one to ask about these sorts of things. But… I have to answer right? Might as well be the truth, incase this really is Hisoka.
"Hisoka, I'm sure how to describe what I feel for you. I don't ever want to see you cry, or be hurt. I want you to smile, to be happy. You deserve to be happy, more than anyone. I care about you, deeper than a working partner or a family member. I… love you Hisoka. You're everything to me. What I wouldn't giver to erase your pain and wipe away all your tears. I love you Hisoka. I love you…" I say.
I really didn't plan on having all that come out, but I guess I can't change what's happened. And now it's all up to Hisoka. Please! Please let him feel the same way! Please!
I feel his hold on my shirt tighten, and he continues to cry. Now I made him cry again.
"Tsuzuki… I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure how I feel…" He says. So now he's crying because he doesn't know how to respond.
I tighten my embrace. "Shhh… It's alright Hisoka. Don't cry. Please don't cry anymore."
He looks up at me. His eyes are red from all the crying and his cheeks are flushed. Streams of silver line his cheeks, where the tears continue to fall. I can't help myself as I lean down and slowly kiss away every tear that graces his cheeks. I pull away and looks up at me. I lean down again and kiss the tip of his nose. He tries to follow me and ends up crossing his eyes. Simple adorable, my cute Hisoka.
"Tsuzuki… I…" I don't let him finish as I claim his lips once again. He's stunned for a moment before he slowly responds to the kiss. I project all the love and affection I have for him into that kiss. I know it's a lot for him, but I need him to understand.
He brings his arms up and wraps them around my neck, parting his lips ever so slightly. I take it as an invitation and deepen the kiss. He lets out a little yelp of surprise as our tongues touch.
I pull away and gaze at a now flushed Hisoka.
"Tsuzuki…" he says.
"What do you feel for me Hisoka?" I ask.
He looks stunned for a moment before responding. "I'm not sure. But I can try…" he looks at me for approval. I nod my head and he continues. "I want to be near you, with you, always. I can't stand the thought of never seeing you again, or of you leaving me. I care about you; I'm not sure the extent myself. But if what you were projecting was love, then I think that's it. I… love… you Tsuzuki." He says, looking down.
I smile, a real smile, not one of my fake ones. I place two fingers under his chin and lift his face up and give him a soft kiss. When I pull away, I embrace him.
"I love you too Hisoka. I will never leave you. But I can't make you stay. I've never had a partner last as long as you, and if you decide to stay with me, I won't let you leave. If you follow through with this Hisoka, I will not let you leave me. You will be mine forever. Just think before you answer. Will you stay will me Hisoka…?" I ask.
He's thinking, I know he is. I don't mean to put anymore pressure on him, but I need to know where he stands, and I'm just being honest. If he agrees to this then he will be mine forever. I won't let him go, ever. He won't leave me…
"Tsuzuki." He starts.
I look straight into his eyes, those eyes that I loose myself in.
"I want to stay with you." He says.
"Are you sure Hisoka? I want you to be sure." I ask, making sure that this is what he really wants to do.
"Yes." He replies looking straight at me.
I pull him into another embrace. "Then you're mine. I won't let anyone take you away from me. Even if you end up hating me, I won't let you leave me. You're mine now, now and forever. I'll keep you." I say into his hair. I feel him nod his consent, as he snuggles against my chest.
I tighten my hold on him, knowing that I never have to let go again. Wait. What is that noise?
I look down and notice that he has fallen asleep. I smile to myself as I lay us back onto the bed. I pull the blanket up over us and shift him so he's practically lying on my chest. He snuggles into my chest. I lean down and kiss his forehead. Yes, he is mine now. He'll always be mine. But where do we go from here?
That took forever… I don't know where this came from, but I'm thinking of a sequel? Maybe? I don't know… It may be M rated so watch for it. Please review! Tell me if you want a sequel or not. Please… -Kaouri18