Cat's Cradle

Summary:Thanks to Greed, Envy is turned to whimpering feline and is FORCED to stay as one, but then again being a cat has it rewards such as—spending 'quality time' with a leather-clad chibi (Ed/Envy)

WARNINGS:Like I said this fic is YAOI (Envy/Ed, slight Roy/Ed) it also containscursing (quiet a lot actually) and if I'm up to it probably a lime/lemon. Oh and I'm also warning you of OOC-ness… So yah, you've been warned so no flaming me because its yaoi…yada yada yada.

A/N:Err…my first Fullmetal Alchemist fic, so please be nice. This fic is yaoi and focuses on Envy and Ed. Lastly please Read and Review -

CHAPTER 2: Last Laugh

"Y-y-y-y-you!" Ed flared while pointing an accusing finger at the grinning sin in front of him.

"What about me…O'chibi-san?" Envy grinned


"Aww…and here I was, thinking you were enjoying yourself…"

"Wh-wh-who would enjoy being pinned/seduced by that BASTARD COLONEL!" Ed roared as the sin smirked in reply

"Let me get this straight…" Envy began as he neared the blonde who in turn started to back away.


"You mean to tell me, if it were another guy who was to seduce you…it'd be okay….riiiiiight o chibi-san?"

"I n-n-never said—" Ed started somewhat foreseeing where their conversation was headed. God! He didn't mean to make his earlier comment sound so…suggestive especially not to ENVY!

"Why are you so nervous Edo? Could it be that you're anticipating something?" the sin purred as he slowly leaned towards the blonde


"Now now…I suggest you keep your voice down…you don't want anyone coming when you're…" Envy grinned as he licked his lips at the thought of Mustang witnessing Ed tied down, naked, flushed and being done by his supposed adversary. The idea was simply alluring—almost delicious…

"PERVERT…Get your mind out of the gutter!"

"Huh? I'm not thinking of anything…perverted…are you?" Envy chuckled

"Quit that!"

"Quit what?"

"Fucking with me" Ed growled

"I'm not…but I'm planning too…"

"AAARRGHHH! You're impossible!" Ed shouted. It was then that both occupants suddenly heard a click from the door. Edward cursed, someone must have heard him and if he were to be caught he'd surely come face to face with the REAL Mustang.

"Is someone there?" an unknown voice shouted just after the door opened

"Dammit, dammit" Ed cursed as he frantically searched for an exit, there was only 1 door and the window wasn't exactly an option unless you have suicide in mind. "Fuck…if I get caught, that bastard Mustang is bound to rant on me" he growled as the sin behind him hissed at the mention of the colonel. For some reason, the thought of Ed and Roy together pissed him. The shrimp was HIS…

"You owe me for this Edo-kun…" Envy leaned down towards the panicking blonde who had instantly stiffened at the warm breath at his ear. The door opened and before Ed knew it, a soldier had entered, looking at him questioningly.

"Erm…" Ed stuttered

"Colonel Mustang, I'm sorry, I didn't think you were here" the man suddenly saluted as Ed gaped in surprise. Colonel? What?

"It's okay. Fullmetal and I were just having a little chat" Mustang's deep voice echoed through the room and it was only then that Ed realized that Envy had transformed himself once again. The disguised Envy grinned as he dismissed the soldier who on the other hand left without question.

As soon as the footsteps disappeared Ed heaved out a heavy sigh of relief. He hated to admit it, but he really did owe Envy for saving his ass. "Look…" the blonde began as he turned around only to find the obnoxious sin gone.

Greed knocked at Dante's room and felt a shiver of disdain when the door opened to reveal

the stoic face of their creator. "Is there a reason for this all this fracas?" the woman chided

"Err yah…" the sin scratched his head ruefully "I need tot talk to you…."

"I'm aware of that…"


"Greed…do not test my patience, get to the point"

"Umm…well it's about Envy" Greed scowled. Were women always this bitchy?

"What about him?"

"He needs to be restrained…I mean…look that bastard ru—"

"If that's all there is to it—then wait here" the woman rolled her eyes impatiently before retrieving a bottle of what seemed to be a concoction of some sort. "Just let Envy drink this, once he does he will automatically lose all his powers. Let's just say he'll be as helpless a little kitten." She continued before handing the crystal bottle to the sin.

Greed grinned triumphantly "Finally, I can get even with that bastard"

Dante leered "Don't be so full of yourself – power isn't everything and restraining Envy isn't exactly a good idea"

"What DO you know?"

"Oh but I do know… you may have won the battle but there is still the war" she purred "But don't worry I'll visit your grave once Envy decides to get even" she giggled as Greed glared remembering how Lust had said the exact same thing. He swore the opposite sex were all against him.

The door to the manor burst open. Lust, Wrath and Sloth ignored the ruckus, already knowing who the intruder was whereas Greed was seemingly scheming from his seat.

"Envy!" Greed howled as Envy started to pace towards the living room where the rest were already gathered "How are you? You seem tired…" the man practically swooned before hugging the surprised androgyny

"Did you hit your head or something?" Envy asked suspiciously. Why was Greed so touchy? He was obviously plotting something.

Lust rolled her eyes before turning to Sloth "So obvious that dear little brother ISN'T up to something ne?" she whispered as the female beside her stifled a giggle. "Good thing Envy's not the sharpest tree around"

Greed glared at his audience before turning back to Envy who was looking skeptically at him "Err…so dear brother…like I said how was your day?"

"Are you sure you're okay? You must have hit your head really HARD" the sin smirked; now he was SURE the bastard was up to something.

Greed felt a nerve twitch but remained his cool. "You must be tired…aren't you tired?" he continued, changing the subject as Envy plainly shrugged in reply. Was Greed that desperate?

"You're acting weird…"

"Nonsense I'm just worried about your welfare, here how about a drink…" the sin offered as he handed Envy a glass of purple liquid.

"What is it?" The elder of the 2 raised a brow as he glared at the glass. Poison? Drugs? What the hell was Greed thinking, it's not as if something as trivial could kill him, much less hurt him.

"Lemonade" Greed interceded as Envy simply shrugged. He felt whatever Greed was up, was of no threat to him, besides what can a purple girlish liquid do to him? He was immortal for crying out loud!

"You sure? Why the hell is it purp-"

"YES I'm sure!" Greed glowered as Envy smirked as his companion's annoyance. Now that he thought of it, why not? Let Greed have a little fun once in a while besides whatever the bastard was planning couldn't be THAT bad—it was Greed after all.

"So bottoms up!" Greed exclaimed as Envy nonchalantly shrugged before emptying the glass with one gulp. It was only a few minutes after that he felt his body heat up and his vision blur as he fell on the floor with a loud THUMP.

God, he felt as if someone had hit him hard on the head, not that it'd kill him—he just didn't like the feel of being sore

"Awake yet, big brother Envy?" Greed's voice echoed in the room. Big brother Envy? Where the hell did that come from and sheesh, talk about sarcasm.

"Meeeow…" huh? Meow? What the fuck?

"Cat got your tongue?" Fuck, Greed's voice was really irritating especially after being drugged. Bastard, he swore he'd beat the shit out of Greed later that day!

Purple cat-like eyes focused only to see Greed hovering over him with an arrogant face. He swore he'd soon erase the leering look one way or another.

"Meow, meow, meow!" huh? Wait! The hell does he keep meowing? And why is Greed so goddamn huge? Of fuck don't tell me…Envy growled as he automatically turned to look at his hands only to see black fur paws. You're kidding me!

Greed smirked "Dante was right…you are as helpless as a little kitty…LITERALLY" Dante? He should have known…Greed after all wasn't THAT smart to have actually come up with a concoction to turn him to a whimpering feline.

Alright relax, all I need to do is transform back and beat the shit out of Mr-cocky. Envy glared as he desperately tried to shape shift back to normal—no good. Oh fuck…

"Can't transform little pussy wussy?" Greed snickered as he sat down to grab the black cat from its fur. Envy yowled and before he knew it he was face to face with an antagonizing sin.

"Not so strong and mighty now are you, Envy?" Greed spat as the purple-eyed cat plainly rolled his eyes and without warning scratched the man on the face with his claws.

"Fuck you, you're gonna get it now you faggot!" Greed roared as Envy plainly mewled. Sure he was a cat, but that didn't stop him from being a bastard now did it? And as he had said, he'd erase that cocky look from his dear beloved brother's face. He was intent on doing just THAT!

"Something is sooo wrong with this picture" Wrath interrupted, watching the 2 glare daggers at each other

"You mean how instead of Greed looking superior, he looks more of an idiot debating and cussing a cat?" Lust leered

"Or perhaps you mean that instead him winning; he is still being made a fool by yours truly" Sloth thought before turning her attention to the black, purple-eyed cat who was seemingly calm and almost mischievous.

"You three… " Greed roared as he turned to glare at the 3 other homunculi who had been watching the whole tirade. "And as for you…" he spat once again turning his attention to Envy "You're going down!"

You wish! Envy rolled his eyes as Greed lunged towards him only to fall flat on his face, as the cat plainly eluded. Now, people much less homunculi don't usually faint by falling face first on the ground, but they do feel a bit lightheaded when a vase from the top counter would "accidentally" fall directly on their head. In this case it had been Envy who had taken the liberty to push the porcelain from the counter and unto Greed's head. Pay back's a bitch the cat leered as he stood in all fours, admiring his handiwork.

Guess I get the last laugh…not so cocky now are you? The cat mewled as he did the unexpected, leaving Lust, Sloth and Wrath to burst out laughing. It was after that, that Envy finally decided to make his escape as he jumped out an open window - He was sure Greed was going to skin him alive when he finds out that he had done.

As predicted, a few minutes after his sweet escape a loud roar echoed from the manor that it could almost be heard across the neighborhood. A black cat with piercing purple eyes leered at the thought of Greed finding himself soaked and branded by Envy. After all cats mark their territory or show their ownership on something by urinating on them right? In this case, Envy proved himself superior and that Greed was a mere object he can toy with – either that or it was plain revenge on his part.

It was obvious to everyone - Envy had the last laugh…


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