If you have not read Another then this story won't make much sense. Please read Another before reading this story. This story contains a lemon. If you don't want to read a lemon, then don't read this story. This is my first lemon by the way. Enjoy…
I don't own Yami no Matsuei or the Producers (don't ask).
A rather loud "What!" could be heard throughout the office.
Tatsumi was pissed. "Tsuzuki are you serious?" Tatsumi asked.
Tsuzuki, Hisoka, and Hiroo had just returned from Hiroo's first mission, with some disturbing news.
"Yes. It went against my better judgment to let him go but… I figured you would be able to find some more appropriate punishment." Tsuzuki replied with a knowing smile.
Tatsumi smirked. "I suppose you are right there. Now then Tsuzuki, Kurosaki, you may both leave and go back to your office. Hiroo, you're with me."
Tsuzuki and Hisoka left. It was true that Tatsumi would be able to come up with a punishment ten times worse than any either of them could.
That was the last time they saw Hiroo….
(What happened to him? you ask. Only I know. : p )
A few months later…
-Hisoka's point of view-
Tsuzuki has been acting strange lately. It has been a few months since we've gotten together and things have been going along great, or so I thought.
He has taken it slow, as to not frighten me off. He should know by now that I'm not going to leave him, but I do appreciate it. I've never experienced this kind of love before, and it's rather frightening to me, but it's nothing I can't handle. There have been dinners, movies, and all the usual things people do when they're dating. I moved into his house not too long ago and that's when he started to act strange.
I really started to notice it a few nights ago, when we were watching a movie at home.
"Tsuzuki what the heck is this?" I asked seeing a bunch of food dancing to a song called Spring Time for Hitler.
"It's The Producers; don't ask me it's on TV." He replied.
"Is there anything else on?" I ask. I mean this is a really strange movie, wasn't it some kind of Broadway musical.
"Lets see." He says, as he sits down next to me, while pulling me against him. He flips through the channels and stops on one of those movie networks. I guess it's better than dancing food and tanks.
"Is this alright?" he asks.
I nod and lean against his chest. He smiles and pulls me so I'm sitting in his lap, my back against his chest. This just happens to be one of my favorite cuddling positions. Much to contrary belief, I do enjoy cuddling. After being deprived of almost any physical affection for most of my life, I can't say what it feels like to be with someone who loves you, who isn't afraid to touch you.
We started to what the movie; it turned out to be some random scary movie. It was about some demon that terrorized the entire town and the people decided to go after the demon. Tsuzuki was hiding behind me for more than half the movie. It wasn't that scary, but it doesn't take much to scare him. The movie finally ends with the demon being destroyed and life returns to the way it was before the attacks.
The credits begin to play and Tsuzuki tightens his hold on me.
I turn around and look at him.
"Tsuzuki what's wrong?" I ask.
He looks up at me and I can see that he has been crying. I think I know why now, the movie and his past, he's in a lot of pain right now.
I lean forward and embrace him; he clings to me trying to hide against me.
"Tsuzuki you are nothing like the demon in the movie. For one thing you aren't a demon. Two, you would never do anything like that, you would never hurt anyone." I tell him.
"How do you know that? I might hurt someone, or you. What if I hurt you?" he looks at me with tears running down his cheeks.
I'm not sure what brought this on, it couldn't have been the just the movie. I pull away for a moment.
"Tsuzuki what's wrong? I know something more than this movie is bothering you. Please tell me."
"It's just…" he started. I waited and then he continued "…what if I hurt you? What if that demon inside me comes out and I can't control it? If something were to happen to you…"
So that's it. "Tsuzuki, I know you would never hurt me. Alright? You don't have a demon living within you, you're human. You always have been human and will always be a human, understand?" I say.
"But…" he starts but I silence him with a chastise kiss. That worked rather well.
It takes a moment for Tsuzuki to respond. I slowly feel his hands wrap around me, pulling me closer. He deepens the kiss, and I can't help but let out a little moan. That's when I feel it, this strange thing touching my leg. I look down and see; well I see… this is awkward… Tsuzuki looks down and realizes what's going on, and looks up at me. In all honesty I can't seem to stop looking… What! Anyone would have too if they were in my position, right? Right.
Tsuzuki stands up, after moving me from his lap.
He doesn't look at me.
"Sorry bout that 'Soka'. I'm going to bed now." He said and left the room.
I was confused, shocked, hurt. Why did he turn away? Why didn't he say anything? And why does it hurt so badly? I don't know. I don't know.
Since then Tsuzuki has been acting very distant. I don't know how to confront him about it but, I have to right? Tonight. That's when I'll talk to him about it. Tonight. I hope…
-Tsuzuki's point of view-
Today lasted forever… It was sooo boring. Why does Tatsumi have to be so mean and make me do all that paperwork? So it was due last week, I was going to get it done eventually.
Hisoka left work early. I wonder why. Maybe he's mad at me because of what happened the other night. I really didn't mean to let that happen, it just did. He was sitting in my lap for crying out loud! And we were kissing! How would anyone act if they had Hisoka for a lover? How could anyone resist that? Honestly. I left right after I noticed. I guess he's still mad. I know he's not ready for something like that but I can't help but want to something like that with him. We're lovers right, that's the kind of thing lovers do. I know he's not ready, and I don't want to push him. He can't possible want that because of everything that happened with Muraki and then recently Hiroo. I wonder what Tatsumi ended up doing to that bastard. I wish I knew…
Anyway, I hope Hisoka is alright. I just don't want to scare him, that's all. I'll wait. I'll wait until he's ready; I'm not going to force him. No, I would never do that.
Wow. I'm back home already, that was fast. I hope Hisoka is here. I take out my key and unlock the door to our apartment. I open the door and notice that it smells good. Hisoka's cooking yea! I love his food; he's really good at it. Sometimes I have to beg for him to cook, but yea he's cooking!
I take off my shoes and head into the kitchen. Hisoka is standing there making something that smells really good in a skillet. I walk over to him and place my head on his shoulder, while I look at what he's cooking.
"Tsuzuki, it's hard to cook with a weight on my shoulder." He says.
I take my head off and move beside him. "It smells really good." I say.
"Thanks. It'll be done in a minute you can sit down." He replies.
I go over and sit down. I wonder why he's acting cold all of a sudden. Is he really still mad at me? I hope not, I hope not…
"Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki!" he says bringing me out of my thoughts. I look up at him.
"You dinner is ready." He says, placing a plate down in front of me. I inhale it. It really was good. I offer to do the dishes, which he agrees to, going to sit in the living room. I clear the table and wash the dishes.
"Tsuzuki?" he calls.
"Yes. What is it?" I reply.
"When you're done, will you come here for a moment?" he asks, kind of quietly.
"Sure!" I reply. I wonder what it is. Did something happen? Maybe he's going to leave me because of the other night. Maybe I scared him away; maybe he's scared of me. That must be it, it has to be it, but I can't let that happen. I won't let him leave me, no. I told him that I would never let him go and I mean it, he's not leaving, ever.
I quickly finish up and head out into the living room. He's sitting in a chair, and I sit down on the couch.
"What is it Hisoka?" I ask.
He was looking down at his knees, when he raises his head to stare at me. I know that look, he's searching me.
"Tsuzuki, you've been acting strange lately. What's going on?" he asks.
I don't know what to say besides my usual response. "Nothing Hisoka, nothing. Why do you think?"
"Tsuzuki don't lie to me, I'm an empath remember. Since a few nights ago, you've been distant. I want to know what's going on."
What am I suppose to say? What does he want me to say? Does he want to know what I want, how I want him? Can he possibly know what he's asking?
"It's nothing for you to worry about Hisoka. I've just been thinking lately that's all…"
Maybe I choose my words wrong, because he looks hurt. I want to say something but he turns away.
"It's alright…" he whispers. "I understand if you want to leave or find someone else."
WHAT! Where the hell did that come from!
"No Hisoka, that's not it at all." I try to tell him more but he cuts me off.
"Don't lie to me. I know that you're upset. I knew you were when you turned away from me that night. It's fine. I you want to leave you can, but I can't stand this anymore. I won't force you to be here, when you obviously don't want to." He says.
I stand up and go over to him. I grasp his arm and pull him into an embrace. He's crying…
"It's alright Hisoka. I'm not going to leave you. I never will. I told you I wouldn't." I mummer against his hair.
"No. If you don't to be with me, I won't force you. Don't feel that you have to stay with me if you don't want to, if there's someone else..."
"Hisoka I love you. I want to stay with you. I don't want anyone else. I want you! And Only You!" I say as I lean down and kiss him.
He's shocked for a moment, but then he responds as tears continue to fall. I pull back and kiss each and every tear away, even as they continue to come. I'm not sure why he's crying or if he even knows. Whether they're tears of relief or hurt I don't really care as long as Hisoka is here with me.
I pull back again and look at him. The tears seem to sparkle as they leave wet tracks behind. His skin is slightly flushed from the crying. His eyes are so open and vulnerable. He looks so innocent, which he is. Hisoka is innocent, innocent and vulnerable.
"Tsuzuki…" he starts.
"Yes, what is it Hisoka?" I ask softly.
"Why did you turn away from me the other night?" he asks.
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes. I do, please tell me." He says looking up at me with those eyes. How can I not tell him now?
"It's just that… Hisoka I…" I can't say it, not without this first. "Hisoka do you remember what I said when we first got together, that I would never let you go?"
"Even if you don't like what I say and want to leave me, I won't let you. You won't leave me; I couldn't handle it if you did, so you won't. You're mine now and I won't give you up."
"I'm not going to leave Tsuzuki, just please tell me."
"Hisoka, I want you. I want you in a way you're probably not ready for yet."
"I want you. It's all I can think about sometimes, and I know I have to wait. I know you can't possibly be ready for something like that, so I'm sorry. The other night, I almost lost control of myself, and if I did…"
"Tsuzuki, It's alright." he says.
I look up at him. Is he serious? I don't understand…
He gets up and sits in my lap. I'm stunned to say the least.
"Tsuzuki, it's alright. I understand and you don't need to worry. I'm not going to leave you. I'm just not sure I'm ready for something like that."
I look back down feeling ashamed. I feel his fingers under my chin, lifting it up so I meet his eyes.
"Let me finish. I'm not sure what I want Tsuzuki. I want to be with you, I'm just not sure that I'm ready or know what to do. I don't want to disappoint you…"
"Hisoka you could never disappoint me. You've never done anything like that before; it's understandable for you to be unsure of what you're doing. But, if you want me to, I could help show you…" I said, trying not to seem as if I was forcing him.
He looked at me for a long moment; I thought that maybe I had pushed too far this time until he said.
"Show me…" in a small voice.
WHAT! Is he serious? He'd let me show him? Please don't let this be some sort of trick.
"It's not a trick; I want you to show me. I want what you want Tsuzuki. And…"
"And… I want to know what it's like with love." he says. Now I understand. He wants this too but is afraid.
"It's alright Hisoka, it's alright. Are you sure you want to do this?"
Hisoka nodded, that's all I need. I leaned down and carefully captured his lips. He opened as I ran my tongue over his bottom lip. I can't help but moan into the kiss as I feel his tongue caress mine. That's all we do, kiss and touch. I'm not going to rush this; I'm going as slow as I can.
I run my hands down his lithe back. It's so strange in a way. I've wanted this for so long and now I'm the one who's starting to feel nervous. I break the kiss and look at him. His eyes are closed and his face is flushed. I've never felt so aroused as I do right now. I can't let him feel all of that though, so I raise me shields.
"No…" I hear. I look at Hisoka. "No. Don't push me out."
"But Hisoka my emotions might overwhelm you."
"Baka, I'll be fine. I want to feel them. Please, let me." he says as he kisses my neck.
If he insists, I let me shields down. He gasps for a moment. I watch, waiting for his reaction. When he looks back at me I'm greeted with the sight of lust filled eyes. It's a rather erotic sight. I feel his hands on my shirt, and before I know it, it's gone to who cares where.
His lips are on my chest. For all his fears and insecurities he seems to know what he's doing, not to mention how incredible it feels. What was he worried about? And why am I the only one without a shirt? I thought I was going to be teaching him, oh well, this feels too good to pass up. I loose myself in the feeling of his ministrations on my chest.
I can't help but let out a moan, as I feel him pull away. I open my eyes and see him staring down. Oh Crap, not again. I look down to confirm. Yes, it's true. I look back up at Hisoka and notice that he's smiling. Okay, I'm confused. He looks back up at me.
"Tsuzuki…" he starts.
"Ummmm… well…" that's my grand statement for the day.
He looks back down and I watch as he put a hand on the fabric surrounding my erection. I let out a rather loud moan. I reach down and pull his hand away. He looks at me confused.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks.
"Oh no Soka. You were perfect, but I don't think this is the best place for something like this."
He nods, that's all I need. I scoop him up, while I stand up. He can only cling to me, wrapping his arms around my neck. I can't help but let out a small laugh and I carry him to the bedroom. I lie him down on the bed before leaving over and devouring his mouth.
I smirk into the kiss as I let my hands slide under his shirt. He arches into the touch. I pull back, just long enough to remove his shirt, before I resume kissing him. I never thought that he would be so responsive. I love the little noises he makes, and it drives me to do more.
I trial my kisses down his jaw line, to his neck. He lets out a small moan; I think I found a weak spot. I slowly kiss and suck the area, as he continues to moan. I travel down a little further and stop when I see his nipple. I let my tongue run along it, before suckling it. He starts to squirm. I bit down on it, ever so gently before he lets out a small yelp. I lap at it in apology before moving to the other one and repeating my actions.
By the time I'm done he's panting and flushed.
"Tsuzuki…" he says, but I cut him off.
"That's not my name" I say lying down beside him, pulling him into an embrace.
"Asato, I want…"
"What do you want Soka?"
"I want more…" he says, rather embarrassed.
"You sure, we don't have to."
"Please Asato, I need to. I want to. Please…" he says desperately.
Like I'm going to say no.
- 3rd Person Point of View-
Tsuzuki trailed kisses down Hisoka's chest. When he came to Hisoka's navel be stopped and licked it a few times, before going down further. He looked up at Hisoka when he reached his jeans. Hisoka nodded and with that the jeans were gone, and only a pair of silky boxers was left. Those boxers had to go as well leaving Hisoka completely exposed.
Hisoka began to tremble. Tsuzuki came up and place a reassuring kiss on his lover's lips.
"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.
Hisoka shook his head. "No Asato, I'm just a little…" he didn't finish.
Hisoka didn't have to finish, Tsuzuki knew what he was trying to say. He's afraid.
"Hisoka, I'm not going to hurt you. We'll go slowly so it won't hurt as bad alright?"
Hisoka nodded as Tsuzuki reached over into his nightstand and pulled out a tube of lube.
Hisoka looked at him apprehensively. "Don't worry; I'll take care of you."
To Hisoka to seemed too good to be true. He couldn't believe this man was treating him with such care and love. That's when he felt a finger enter him. He clamped down on the invading digit.
"Soka you need to relax. It's alright. It'll hurt only for a little while I promise. Hisoka relax…" Tsuzuki said a gently as possible.
Hisoka felt himself relaxing, and another digit enter him. He cried out before he started to relax, as Tsuzuki whispered sweet nothings into his ear. The fingers continued to stretch and scissor him. Hisoka finally relaxed enough for Tsuzuki to insert the last finger. Hisoka understood what Tsuzuki meant about the pain fading. To be honest he wasn't feeling that much pain anymore, it was actually rather enjoyable.
Hisoka whimpered at the loss, as Tsuzuki fingers left him.
"Shhh… It's alright. Are you ready?" Tsuzuki asked.
Hisoka nodded, not trusting his voice. Tsuzuki positioned himself in front of Hisoka's entrance and slowly entered him. Hisoka clamped down on Tsuzuki.
"Asato!" he yelled.
"I'm so sorry Soka. Don't worry it'll get better really soon, I promise."
Hisoka nodded and Tsuzuki continued to enter his tiny lover. Once completely inside Tsuzuki waited a moment before starting to move. Hisoka moaned at the motion as Tsuzuki's thrusts increased.
"Asato…" Hisoka moaned out.
Tsuzuki felt himself nearing and grabbed hold of Hisoka's member and began to pump. Hisoka was lost in the feelings, everything it was too much and he came in time with Tsuzuki. Tsuzuki collapsed on top of Hisoka. Both were spent and out of breath and Tsuzuki unsheathed himself.
Hisoka had his eyes closed and was still panting. Tsuzuki reached out and pulled him into an embrace. Hisoka laid his head on Tsuzuki's chest, listening to the still racing heart of his lover. The sound was soothing and was starting to lull him to sleep.
"Soka… you still awake?" Tsuzuki asked.
Hisoka nodded against Tsuzuki.
"I love you." Tsuzuki said kissing Hisoka's forehead.
"I love you too." Hisoka replied before falling into a peaceful sleep.
This took a long time. I hope you enjoyed Light. Please review! I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks for reading.