A/N 11/29/06: Hey all! I was on a roll with this one and couldn't stop writing! Again, sorry for the extreme angsty-ness but that's how I think Winry would react. But it'll get better, don't worry. Especially after this chapter! Hehe. evil grin Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! And thanks for the awesome reviewers that have shared their opinions so far! I really appreciate it you guys! Enjoy(and just so no one gets confused, the section of the story in italics is a flashback).


Chapter 3

Winry mentally smacked herself in the forehead. How selfish could she be? In her own grief she had forgotten about Al, not pausing to think about what he must be going through.

If this was hell for her it must be 100 times worse for him. She couldn't let herself focus on her own pain anymore; she needed to do all she could for the brother that was still alive. She let out a large sigh and paused, frozen over the empty suitcase waiting to be filled.

The suffering was easier to bear if she didn't think about him too much. Hearing his name alone opened the floodgates and sent a cruel wave of anguish crashing through her body, making it difficult to breathe.

During the day she found masking her agony wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be as long as she stayed busy, but night was a completely different story. When she was lying in bed in the dark, alone with only her thoughts there was no stopping their savage brutality. Her own mind taunted her, replaying painfully warm and happy memories of their childhood together. There was nothing she could do to stop it but wait for the peaceful release of sleep to claim her.

When she slept, she felt nothing. She didn't even dream anymore.

Even though she could ignore the dull throb at times, there was a massive painful hole in her chest that would never go away. It was a place that never could be filled, just an empty aching void to remind her of her loss.

Love, which was supposed to be carefree and blissful, had turned into something mocking and bitter for her, just finally when she had begun to accept her long suppressed feelings, he had been taken away. But she shouldn't dwell on that now, she couldn't. She had to stay in control, for her sake and for Al's sake. And if not thinking about him was the solution, then that's what she would have to do.

Shaking her head slightly, Winry let the silky tendrils of hair caress her face as she tried to concentrate on packing again. Her mind once again drifted to the conversation with Riza from last night.


It was time to ask the questions that had been lingering in her mind. As difficult as it was for her to talk about, it was necessary.

"How long ago did this happen?" She began, awkwardly stumbling over the words.

Riza's careful gaze was expressionless. "About two weeks ago."

Winry gasped. "Two weeks?"

That was such a long time. How could something of this magnitude happen without her knowing? As close as they had been, wouldn't she know that something was wrong with him; wouldn't she somehow be able to sense it?

"We were unable to reach you and left word in Rush Valley with that man you were apprenticing for."

Winry vaguely recalled coming back from her short vacation with Paninya to discover that her presence was required in Central. She didn't know what exactly it was for, but she had never imagined the shock that had awaited her. Was it only several days ago that she was carefree in Rush Valley? Things sure change fast.

"It didn't seem kind to convey that sort of news over the phone." Riza concluded.

"And Alphonse? Granny? What about them?"

"The colonel went to Risembool himself to deliver the message. He felt personally responsible."

Although the next question was not something she wanted to ask, it was something she needed to, if only to help with her personal grief. Her words were soft but clear.

"There's no doubt that he's dead?"

Riza cringed slightly at the inquiry.

"No. People saw the building collapse with Edward inside it, and no one made it out alive. After the fire had been put out... there wasn't much left."

Winry understood the crude implications underneath the gentle words. Edward had been suffocated and burned to death, blazed to a crisp until nothing remained. She sat in silence for a moment. Riza hastily tried to hurry on with the conversation, worrying about the images that were going through the young girl's head.

"There was one thing left though... his red coat. He had given it to one of the civilians for protection from the heat while he was helping out. It was returned afterwards and will be sent back to Risembool for the memorial service."

"Memorial service?" She tried to distract herself from the dreadful scenes that played through her head of him dying as tears threatened to leak out.

"Yes," Riza confirmed. "It will take place in two days. I will escort you there tomorrow morning, so you may want to pack soon."

Winry abruptly stood up, no longer in the mood for asking questions, her drive and determination vanished.

"I-I'll be...packing then." She sputtered as she rushed out of the room so Riza wouldn't see the tears that were now running down her face.

"If…if you need to talk, I'm here." Riza's voice was full of concern and doubt, not used to dealing with the emotions of teenage girls.

Instead of packing, Winry had collapsed on her bed weeping. As had become an unwelcome habit, she cried herself into exhaustion and finally sleep, thoughts full of cherished memories.


Looking at the clock, Winry accelerated her folding. They were supposed to leave in 20 minutes to board their train at the station.

Once everything was neatly secured in her suitcase, she stepped out of the room that had become her haven for the past few days, a place of refuge where she could release her emotions in private.

Riza was waiting patiently near the door to the apartment, her face shifting into a sad smile at the sight of the mechanic. She knew how hard Winry had been trying to control her emotions, to hold back the tears. But the walls of the apartment were thin, and Winry's hopeless muted sobbing at night left little to the imagination. Of course Winry was unaware of that, but neither would bring it up.

The two women had just managed to catch the train in time thanks to Riza's agile navigation through the crowded station. She had purposefully and nimbly zigzagged through the heavy foot traffic, nearly managing to lose Winry several times in the process. But they were on the train now, and there was nothing to break the monotony of the several hour long ride to Risembool.

As she listened to the constant dull thumping of the wheels rotating on the tracks, Winry began to feel tired. The rumble was like a soothing lullaby, luring her into sleep.

"Winry." The words were distant, far off and echoing, not coherently lodging themselves into her brain.

"Winry." It was repeated, this time along with a gentle prod. She groaned and squinted as she opened her eyes slightly. Riza was hovering above her.

"We're here."

Winry sat up quickly and glanced out the window. Sure enough, they were pulled into the Risembool station. She gathered her belongings and followed Riza off of the engine and onto the small platform. The familiar vast green hills surrounded them and while she was distraught at her reason for returning home, she was still glad to be back nonetheless. The landscape of Rush Valley couldn't be more different and she had been homesick.

A running car was waiting for them at the end of the platform. Winry couldn't see who the driver was, but recognized the familiar military uniform. As they drew near, she was surprised to see that the driver was none other than Colonel Roy Mustang. Riza looked just as surprised at the revelation.

"Sir? But I thought you were in Central?" She asked, confused.

"I was, but I returned here earlier than planned. Get in."

Riza tried to protest, she was accustomed to chauffeuring him around, but her arguments fell on deaf ears. He was just as stubborn as she was, if not more. She silently climbed into the back seat after Winry, admitting defeat.

The air in the car was thick with tension, the mood almost tangible. The three were very solemn, all thinking about their purpose for being in Risembool. Finally, Winry broke the strained silence.

"How are Granny and Al doing?"

Mustang paused before answering, the creases in his forehead visible in the rear-view mirror.

"…as expected. They're both very distressed but are dealing with it."

She couldn't think of anything to say after that so they continued to drive in quiet. Eventually they pulled up to her familiar house. It was just as she had seen it last, although she had grown up the house had refused to age. She climbed out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut, permeating the noiseless atmosphere.

As the trio trudged up the path to the house, Mustang in front, Winry in the middle and Riza behind her, the Colonel paused. He turned to the two women and speaking to his subordinate said,

"Lieutenant, why don't you take Miss Rockbell's luggage to the house, I'd like to speak with her for a moment."

"Yes, sir." They locked eyes and a knowing look passed between them before Riza broke the contact and continued up the path to the house, Winry's suitcase in tow.

Winry was curious now. What did he want to speak with her about? Surely this wasn't his attempt to "talk about her feelings" as Riza had already failed miserably at? The only people she needed right now were her waiting family. She gave him a polite but cold smile.

"Is there something you wanted to discuss?"

"Yes…And I'm sorry to spring this on you suddenly, but there's really no easy way for me to say this… Ed left something for you."

Winry immediately stiffened and when she didn't reply, he continued.

"You see, often in the military if a soldier is about to embark on a particularly dangerous mission he will write letters to his loved ones...in case he doesn't return. Sort of as a farewell."

He reached into his coat pocket and produced a thin envelope. Winry released an involuntary gasp as the realization hit her.

"This was found in his coat pocket. It's addressed to you, and I thought I should give it to you in private before you see your family."

He held the letter in his outstretched hand, waiting for her to take it. With trembling fingers she grasped the cool paper. On the front was simply scrawled, "Winry" in his uneven handwriting. The back was sealed with a military insignia.

"Th-thank you." She managed to stutter as she clutched the precious envelope tightly to her chest. She didn't even know what to think at this point, overwhelmed by the possibilities of what the letter contained.

Mustang gave her a small forced smile that didn't quite extend to his eyes.

"I'm sorry for your loss." He said quietly as he turned and walked towards the house.

Winry was still standing there with the letter held to her chest, eyes wide and heart beating wildly. She knew she needed to open the letter, but not here. Someplace more confidential.

She wandered aimlessly away from the property, not really going anywhere specific, just trying to get away. Before she knew it her feet had led her along the familiar path to where Ed and Al's house used to stand. How fitting. She sighed as she leaned against a tree, slowly letting herself slide down the rough bark.

What would the letter contain? Winry had no idea. She almost didn't want to open it, because once she did it would become reality and she would no longer be able to fantasize about his last words to her. Whatever was in his writing was final.

With a deep breath and a silent prayer, she ripped the envelope open, tearing the military seal in half.


A/N: Soooo how was it? Take 20 seconds to let me know! If you liked it, review; if not I'll assume you didn't.