Disclaimer: This is a non-profit, amateur effort not intended to infringe on the rights of Disney or any other copyright holder.


Prince Charming, dressed as he was in the first movie, enters his chambers, whistling nonchalantly. He snaps his fingers, and his male servant, ROBERT COONEY takes his cape and hangs it on a nearby hook. Robert has brown eyes, and his brown hair, slightly longer than normal, is brushed back neatly. He is wearing a dark brown vest over a white shirt, black britches, and brown boots. Charming settles down on a chaise lounge and glares at Robert. Robert hurries to bring over a tray of fruit, then fluff a pillow and set it behind Charming's head. Charming waves him off, then throws a small pillow at a small puppet theater that is standing by one wall. The curtains open, and puppets begin to act out a show – Beauty and the Beast, to be precise. Time passes, as evidenced by the apple being reduced to a core and the grapes being nothing but stems. Charming slouches quietly, then frowns and throws a shoe at the stage.

CHARMING: No, no – you've got it all wrong. She should get together with the handsome Gaston fellow, not some beast.

The puppeteer stands and moves from behind the stage, looking affronted, and we see that he is the bookshop gentleman from Beauty and the Beast.

PUPPETTEER: Well, I never . . .

He stomps off, the Beauty and Beast puppets still on his hands. Charming sighs and stands, glancing around. He moves over to the window as he speaks.

CHARMING: Well, now what am I going to do . . . maybe if I luck out, some evil dragon will attack the kingdom and I can be a hero by going off to kill it. Geez, things have been boring here. At least I have a lovely fiancée to make up for it - the honeymoon has got to make up for all the trouble I went through to track her down. Stupid witch . . . I guess I'll just have a nap for now.

(possibly change this to a musical number indicating chauvinistic attitude. Think Gaston without as much qualification for boasting.)

Charming now kicks off his shoes, hangs up his fancy jacket, and climbs into bed. Return focus to the window, where the sun quickly sets and it is night. The waxing moon is just visible in the window. The camera moves to view out the window, where seven small figures can be seen approaching from the distance. Cue 'sneaky' music. They are wearing black and sneaking in an obvious way. High-stepped tiptoeing, etc. The castle has a decorative wall around it, which they approach. It could possibly serve as a minor line of defense(at least against unarmed dwarfs), had the gate not been left open – there have been more than a few wedding planners and decorators going in and out recently, and it is far more convenient for all that they're left open. At least the guards can keep anyone from just waltzing in unauthorized.

CUT TO: The guardhouse. Two guards in full regalia are standing at attention. One yawns and turns to the other. Music stops.

GUARD #1: It has been quiet lately, and if any rival kingdom intends to try anything weird, they'll most likely wait until the wedding to cause more chaos. Want to play some poker?

GUARD #2: You don't need to come up with excuses for me. I was all for letting the guard dog take the night shift, remember?

He points to an old basset hound, soundly asleep in his basket. He is wearing a spiked collar, in a clear attempt to make him look 'tough'. The effect is lost, however, as the dog's neck is significantly smaller than the collar was designed for. The dog kicks in his sleep and 'wuf's quietly.

GUARD #1: Good old Sparky. He won't mind filling in for us, will you boy?

He skritches the dog behind the ears. Sparky stirs, legs kicking, then curls up again and falls back to sleep. Both guards exit, laughing. Return camera focus to the courtyard, where the dwarfs sneak in, dressed in black. This is not effective camouflage against the light-colored stone. Resume background 'sneaky' music. Soon they are standing beneath Charming's window. A bird flies over and perches on Grumpy's shoulder. Zoom in and we see that it is CLARANCE. He is now wearing a tiny black ski mask, looking rather silly with his beak sticking out. Grumpy holds up a hook attached to a rope and nods at Clarance.

GRUMPY(stage whisper): Go, Clarence! You can do it!

Clarance salutes with his wing and grasps the hook with his feet. He flies up to the window, flapping his little wings as hard as he can. The rope uncoils behind him and soon he reaches the windowsill. Perching there to rest a moment, he gives a cute little 'whew'. He brushes a wing across his forehead, catching his breath before picking up the hook again and looking for a suitable target. Spotting a sturdy-looking table, he takes the hook and flies around a leg of it two or three times before latching the hook back over the rope. A light tug indicates it will hold, and he returns to the windowsill. Perching there, he does a rather good owl imitation and hoots three times.

Down below, Grumpy gives a grin to the others.

GRUMPY: See? I told you it'd be a help to have someone bilingual on our side.

All seven grasp the rope firmly and pull, taking a step back to prepare for the climb. Inside the room, the table pulls toward the window with a loud scrape – it's heavy, but all seven of them heaving together does exert a good deal of force. Charming turns over in his sleep, gives a loud snore, and falls back asleep. After the dwarfs give another heave, the table is yanked suddenly against the window. It is large enough that it is wedged firmly under the windowsill, held solidly in place. Charming gives a snore as if he's about to wake, then rolls over and falls asleep again.

CUT TO exterior shot, and against the moon we see the silhouette of the dwarfs scaling the castle wall. Hold a few seconds, with appropriately sinister background music.

Return to interior shot of Charming's chambers, where Dopey is the last to climb in, stumbling over the nearest leg of the table and falling to the floor with a thud. He turns and gives it an angry shush. Two of the dwarfs now pull out another length of rope and a large burlap sack while Doc points to the bed where Charming lies, his back to them. They walk over slowly, each step bringing with it the classic floorboard squeak. Get the FX guys to pull out synths of some old leather wallets squeaking if needed – think Godzilla 2000 for things like this; use our latest technology to give viewers the feel of the old-fashioned classics.

The dwarfs reach the end of the bed and pop their noses over, one by one, with accompanying sound effects. They glare in synch. Grumpy, in the middle, gives a nod to the others and takes the sack. Three run to each side to surround Charming as Grumpy moves to the head of the bed. He opens the bag and moves it over Charming's head. Charming is lying on his back now. The blankets are ripped off of him, and the sack pulled to completely encase his body. The dwarfs' extensive experience in the mines has left them with high coordination when they need to work together like this, and soon the ropes have bound the sack tightly at appropriate points from neck to ankle. They pick him up and carry him to the window. Happy, face oddly serious now, pulls the rope in. Once the end arrives, he attaches it to the ropes binding the struggling body. Dust is kicked up, and as is to be expected, some winds up being inhaled by Sneezy. At the first 'Ah', the dwarfs clearly have the routine down – he has three handkerchiefs and two hands firmly under his nose in a second. One handkerchief is knotted around his nose. The sneeze successfully headed off, they all sigh in relief and slowly lower Charming out the window, waiting for him to touch down before they rappel back to the ground.

Return to the window view, where seven small figures carry the bound prince off over the hills and into the woods.

Hold the camera angle for a time-elapse shot, and the sun rises. Music: Another Edwardian Morning.

Turn across the room and focus on the door. We hear whistling approach from down the hallway, and soon a knock comes at the door. It is the male servant from before, Robert.

ROBERT VO: Mr Charming? It's time to get up now. I've got your breakfast ready, as per your request. . .

He opens the door and looks around. POV shot. He takes in the scattered sheets, the table still wedged under the windowsill, the rope going out the window. Return to shot of him. He facepalms.

ROBERT: Miss White isn't going to like this. . .

The table shifts out of position and falls to the floor with a thud.

CUT TO: Outside a room in Snow's quarters. A carved hardwood door featuring simple yet elegant scrollwork. At the center of the frame, a carved apple with a crown on it clearly marks whose room it is. Metallic clanging and slashing swordfight-type noises can be heard from within. Robert nervously approaches Millicent, who raises an eyebrow at him.

MILLICENT: What brings you to this section of the castle? I don't see anything on the schedule which might prompt this.

ROBERT: Er. Is Miss White available at the moment? I have something she needs to be informed of.

MILLICENT: I'm afraid not. She's still at her morning swordfighting lesson, but you might be able to step in if it's important.

He pales. Rather a lot. And gulps, pulling his collar slightly with one finger.

ROBERT: S-swordfighting? Is that, well, proper for a princess?

Millicent smirks at him.

MILLICENT: Quite so. It is a somewhat new tradition, but has proven to have an excellent rate of success in other kingdoms. Far more sensible to have a queen who is capable of defending herself than to deal with the chaos in the aftermath if her guards are caught unaware or bribed away from their posts. She has good reflexes and more strength than you would expect – her instructor says he's amazed at her progress over the past few months.


Millicent checks her watch and gestures to the door.

MILLICENT: She's almost done, and since it's likely a message of some importance, I can let you in. But only this once.

Robert panics, somewhat, but manages to remain mostly calm. He holds up his hands.

ROBERT: No, no – it's perfectly all right. Nothing for Miss White to concern herself with.

Millicent laughs and grabs his arm, ushering him toward the door.

MILLICENT: Don't be silly. If it's vital enough that it pulled you from your duties attending to the prince, there's no point in dilly-dallying.

Millicent opens the door and leads Robert through. The room is a fairly well-stocked gym, though humorously old-fashioned. An exercise bicycle stands to one side, with an oversized front wheel. Free weights are near their rack, but not put away – they've seen recent use. A fighting ring is in one corner, with a shelf of padding and related accessories next to it. Fencing masks and a rack of foils are hanging on one wall. Snow White is currently exchanging a courteous bow with her swordfighting instructor, ending the lesson. She is, once again, wearing the blue sweatsuit. As Millicent and Robert approach, she smoothly returns the sword to its scabbard – it's the kind that could easily take someone's head off if you're not careful. Robert is doing his very best to fight the instinct that tells him to run like hell. Millicent approaches Snow, report now in hand.

SNOW: Good morning, Millicent. What's the latest news?

MILLICENT: There's a disturbance in the western territories – a dispute with some farmers who don't want to pay their taxes as the drought last season cut into the value of their crops. The local magistrate seems to have it under control, but I advise keeping an eye on the situation.

SNOW: Agreed. The season was tough on everyone – we'll set up a system of free crop seed being issued to each farmer at the start of next planting season, to ease their burden. Only available to loyal subjects who pay their taxes by that time, of course. It won't do any good if the dissenters aren't at least given a chance at the option.

MILLICENT: A wise choice. There's not much else to report – the caterers seek your approval to make an order for more shrimp; the prawns in stock aren't an acceptable substitute for what they have in mind.

SNOW: Granted. I want my wedding to be perfect, and it won't do to annoy the caterers. Anything else?

MILLICENT: I have nothing else to report, but Robert has news he says you need to be informed of.

Snow gives the extremely nervous man a comforting smile.

SNOW: There's no need to be nervous, Robert. I know you haven't been assigned to my area of the castle before, but I don't see why you might be scared of me. What's the news? It certainly can't be that awful.

ROBERT: Well -

CUT TO: Exterior shot of the castle. Fairly close, nearby woodland.


A flock of birds take flight from the trees as the shout rings out.