Some Anonymous Doctor Has a Really Bad Day

I got this idea from a fic by Adude, in which a dentist had to deal with Venom's toothache. I was thinking about that during my last medical checkup, and things happened in my weird little brain . . .


I was having a bad day. I'd had a cold for several days, my 'children' were arguing about some inane thing or other, and my back ached.

You sound sick, Father, said one of the 'children.' I recognized it as the upper left one, who called itself Teal.

He hasn't gone to a doctor since the accident, added Bier, the lower right. He needs to go to one.

I agree, I thought, and then we were gone.


In the waiting room were–of course–Peter, Harry, and Eddie Brock.

We stared at each other.

"Why are you here?" we all asked each other.

I laughed. "They insisted I get a check-up." I smiled an embarrassed smile. "And they're right, too– I'll die of exposure if I keep living like this, but I really have nowhere to go."

"Stress," Harry said. "It's doing Hell to my body."

"It's doing Hell on both of us," said Peter bitterly.

Eddie Brock laughed. "All of us. Do you have any idea how hard it is for us to survive now?"

"Yes," I replied absently. "I have a flu that's threatening to become pneumonia, a bad back–and even more little voices in my head than you do, Venom. Plus, my house no longer belongs to me. At least I still have some of the money from before, or I'd probably have starved to death."

Peter looked at me, a sad expression on his face. "You have a home with me, Otto, if you really need one."

I shook my head. "No, Peter. You already have enough problems without my adding to them."

Then the doctor called me, and I left.


"You look run down," said the doctor.

I laughed. "Yeah? Well, I am."

He laughed. "Take off your coat, please?"

I winced. "Not yet, please."

He shrugged, not understanding, but did as I wanted.

"You seem to have quite a bad case of the flu," he said.

I nodded. "I know. Believe me, I know! I'm worried of getting pneumonia, in fact–that's why I even came."

"Well, you don't seem to have it yet. But I'm not sure . . . I'll have to check your lungs. Take off your coat."

I winced. "Damn."

"What is it?"

I sighed. "Never mind." And I took off my coat. The tentacles rose nervously, snapping at each other.

I glared at them. "This was your idea, so stop that," I told them. "And it's your fault I'm feeling as bad as I am, so shutup!"

Tear seemed to frown. Is it? How?

"Because I couldn't go to a doctor until it became serious–and now I have a headache, as well."

Sorry, Teal said.

The doctor was just staring at this point.

I smiled at him. "Well?"

He shook himself and went back to what he was doing.

"You don't have pneumonia yet, but you will soon, unless you do something about it."

"Yeah, I kind of guessed that." I smirked. I have a very nasty smirk. "Any ideas?"

He wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic. Then, like an idiot, he asked something about money.

I just looked at him for a moment, then began to laugh hysterically. "I have $150 to my name at the moment, you stupid little man!"

And a blade sprang from below Teal's 'eye.' "I want to get out of here, is that understood? I'm tired, my back hurts, I'm getting pneumonia, and I'm generally having a bad day. If you won't shut up, your day will be even worse than mine. Is that clear?"

He gulped and nodded.

"Thank you." I smiled again, relaxing. "That's a great help. See you in six months, okay?"

"W-what?"

"Well, I haven't been to a doctor in some time, and I'd rather not give too many people shell-shock." I winked and added, "And your next three appointments are Spider-Man, Venom, and the Green Goblin's son, so you're probably already used to it. Or you will be in six months, anyway..."

And I left.