By Eternal Fire
Harry moved closer to his lover and bit his lip. He was nervous. He didn't know if Draco would like his idea for Christmas. Harry shivered and snuggled closer to his boyfriend.
"I thought you liked the cold."
Draco's voice startled Harry, and he jumped a little. Draco chuckled and wrapped his arms around Harry, who obediently buried himself in Draco's embrace.
"I do like the cold." Harry said. "It's not my fault that my body disagrees with me." He shivered again, and he didn't have to see Draco to know he was grinning.
"I hate the cold." Draco said, and Harry smiled.
"I don't know why. You remind me of winter." Harry pushed Draco a little to look at him. "You are pale and cold to almost everyone, and your eyes are grey like winter's sky."
Draco looked indignant. "I am not like winter. I'm not like the cold"
Harry quickly shut up. He closed his eyes. Harry loved Draco. He knew that. What he didn't know was if Draco loved him back. Draco never said the words, and sometimes Harry wondered why Draco stayed with him. It wasn't like he couldn't find anyone else to be with. Draco was gorgeous. Men and women alike threw themselves at him. Harry, on the other side, wasn't anything extraordinary. The only great thing he had done was rid the world of Voldemort, and he had been practically born to do that. Harry was always scared to do something that would make Draco go away. He didn't know if he'd be able to stand that. He knew he was not worthy of Draco's love.
Draco seemed to sense Harry's change of mood, and in one quick move, he had Harry on his back.
"What's wrong?" Draco's grey eyes showed concerned, but Harry missed the emotion. He was to busy trying not to look into his lover's eyes.
Draco used a warning tone, and Harry bit his lip again.
"Well…I was wondering if…"
"It's just…I haven't seen the Weasley's in a long time, and I…I kind of miss them, so…"
"What are you trying to tell me?"
"Can we spend Christmas with the Weasley's?"
Draco's eyes widened. "What?"
Harry hid his face in Draco's chest.
"We don't have to go, if you don't want to, but Molly invited us, and Ron, Hermione, Neville, Remus, Tonks, and even Snape will be there, and I haven't seen them in a long time, and…"
Draco suppressed a sigh. It was true that Harry hadn't seen his friends in a long time, and Snape would be there, so it couldn't be that bad, right? Besides, it would make Harry happy, and that was all that mattered.
"We don't have to go." Harry repeated. "We could stay here if you would prefer that. Make a simple dinner…"
Draco lifted Harry's face towards him.
"Do you want to go?"
Harry hesitated. "Yes…" He said, looking away from Draco.
"Then we'll go."
Harry's face snapped back to Draco.
"Of course. I don't care where we spend Christmas as long as I'm with you."
Harry smiled, and Draco thought that Harry's smile was worth going with the Weasley's. A wicked thought passed Draco's mind.
"Though…" He said, as his fingers trailed over Harry's chest, "I do believe you'll have to reward me."
"Oh, really?" Harry's voice was already husky.
And their lips met.
Yes, Draco thought between kisses and caresses, definitely worth it.
"I don't know why you are going there instead of going to my party."
Draco sighed in exasperation. He counted to ten in four different languages.
"I thought the reason was clear."
Pansy stood up and walked towards the window.
"I don't know why it surprises me." She said. "You chose him over your family and me years ago, and you keep doing it."
"Pansy, I've only been dating Harry for a year."
She turned her head to look at him. "We both know what I mean."
"I'm not finish, Draco."
"Don't interrupt me, it's rude. Really, you are a Malfoy, where are your manners?"
She gave him an annoyed expression. "Fine, you can go with him if you want to, but you can't miss my New Year's party. Greg and I would love to have you, and you can bring your sweetheart."
Draco sneered. "I won't miss it."
"You better not." Pansy said, a smile forming on her lips. "I wouldn't forgive you if you did. Really, it is bad enough that you are passing Christmas with them instead of me, your friend, your confident, your unconditional, your…"
Draco laughed, and the sound was so strange to Pansy that she lost her train of though, and her rambling stopped. Draco never laughed. He grinned, smirked, sometimes chuckled, but he never laughed openly. Pansy observed him. His eyes were warmer, and he looked at ease, and…could he finally be happy? After all he had been through; she had wondered if Draco would ever find his much deserve happiness. When he had told her that he was finally dating Potter, she had thought it was a bad idea. Potter would only break his heart. Even a year after, she still had doubts about that relationship.
"What is it?" Draco asked, but his eyes still shone.
"You never…" Pansy shook her head. "Forget it. It doesn't matter." She took her purse and headed towards the door. She grabbed the knob, but she turned towards Draco before leaving. "You know what, you can miss my New Year's party if you are with Potter. I still have my reservations about that relationship, but…"
"Don't let him go. He is good for you."
"I will not have him at my family's house. He could ruin Christmas's dinner, or be mean, or make evil comments about Hermione…"
"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione snapped at him. "That was years ago. He has been nice to us since he joined our side, and he worked pretty hard to gain our trust…"
"He still hasn't." Ron murmured, but he shut his mouth when he saw the look his wife gave him.
"He has actually been nice to us since he started dating Harry, and you know why? Because he is making an effort, so you will make an effort to, is that understood? Besides, your mother invited the both of them, not just Harry."
Ron turned towards her with a desperate look. "That is not the point, Hermione."
"Then what is it, you idiot?"
Ron winced, but to Harry's amazement still tried.
"The point is that he is…he is…" Ron struggled to find the right words. "He's a Malfoy." He finished pathetically, and Hermione smacked him on the head.
"That isn't even a reason." She yelled. "He helped us win the war, and he changed sides because…well, he did, and he will come to dinner, and you will treat him with respect."
Ron bowed his head with defeat. "Yes, darling."
Harry smiled at his friends. Ron could say no to anyone but his mother and Hermione. Harry didn't blame him. Hermione was a tough woman.
"So…" he said "there will be no problem if I bring Draco?"
Ron sighed. "Sure, Harry, bring him. I'll tell mother that both of you accepted her invitation."
"Thank you, Ron."
Ron crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Harry and Hermione.
"I'm just doing it for you."
Ron sighed again.
"Why couldn't you fall in love with someone else?"
"Don't say anything, Harry. I don't like him, but you and Hermione seem to do so, so I will be nice to him, but don't ask me to be friends with him."
Harry smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it."
Ron grinned. "I still think you could do better than a Malfoy:"
"Ron!" Harry and Hermione said in unison. Ron just grinned wider.
Sometimes, Harry thought that Draco and Ron didn't get along because they had a lot of things in common.
"It's colder here than back at home."
Harry just smiled. Draco had been whining since they had left the flat they shared, and Harry had patiently listened to everything he had said. Now, they were in front of the Weasley's door, and Draco was still complaining.
"I like the cold." Harry said simply, and Draco glared at him.
"Of course you do, you prat. Besides, you are wearing a warm sweater, so that doesn't count."
Harry laughed. "It's not my fault you refused to use a good coat."
"Warm coats are ugly."
"Don't be mean. This is one of Molly's sweaters. Maybe if you are nice she'll make you one."
Draco murmured something that Harry didn't catch, but he decided to ignore it and knocked instead.
Almost instantly, the door opened, and Harry found himself in the arms of Molly Weasley.
"Harry, darling, I'm so glad you could make it. Come inside, it has to be awfully cold out there."
Harry walked in, feeling at home instantly. This was the place where he had spent his best summers, and the place that had been his refuge during the war. Most importantly, this was where the people he considered his family gathered. He smiled brightly at Molly, and she hugged him again.
"We are all so exited to see you again. It has been over a year since we were all together. Remus and Snape are already here, if you want to say hello. The others will arrive shortly."
"Thank you, Molly." Harry started walking towards the living room when he realized that Draco was not behind him. He turned.
Draco was still outside, looking uncomfortable and cold.
"Come inside, Draco. Anyone who is with Harry is welcomed at this house." Molly said, but Draco still hesitated. "I…"
"It's warmer inside." Molly insisted, and that seemed to do it. Draco moved inside, and Molly hugged him quickly.
"I have to see how dinner is going, but make yourselves at home."
She disappeared, and Harry and Draco were left alone.
"Come on," Harry said, grabbing Draco's hand, "let's go say hi."
Draco could tell that Harry was happier than he had been in a long time. His big, green eyes were shining, and he had been laughing all night. Draco thought he looked extremely beautiful. It should be a sin to be that pretty. His dark hair, green eyes, tan skin, and muscular body were a sight to be appreciated, and that was not all. He was kind, and he always worried about others. He was joyous, and he was finally able to be carefree. He was warm, and Draco suddenly felt cold. With Draco, Harry didn't laugh that much. He was always holding back. Harry always seemed to be hiding something from him, and he never let himself be so carefree. His chest hurt a little, but he ignored the pain and focused on the conversation he was having with Hermione, Percy, Remus, and Severus.
"So, what do you think of it?"
Draco blinked. "Of what?"
"Of Neville being the new Minister of Magic. I actually think he deserves it, after all he did. He has so much to give! He would be wonderful."
"Longbottom would be a great choice. He would be, by far, the best Minister we have had in decades."
Hermione beamed. "That is exactly what I thought."
"But maybe Mr. Longbottom…" Severus started, but he was interrupted by Harry.
"Draco, the twins, Bill, Charlie, Ginny, Ron, and I are going to play Quidditch, and we need another player, could you please play with us?"
Harry was so exited that he reminded Draco of a child.
"In case you haven't noticed, Potter," Severus cut in, "we were having a conversation before you interrupted."
Harry's eyes suddenly lost its shine, and he looked at Draco apologetically.
"Sorry, Draco, I didn't mean to interrupt, I'll find someone else."
"Wait…" Draco called out, but Harry moved his hand and smiled.
"Don't worry. I'm sure Neville will like to play, or maybe Fleur, if John lets her. He is a little monster."
Draco watched as Harry left, and he turned angrily at Severus. To his dismay or maybe pleasure, he was already been lectured by Remus.
"You shouldn't have talked like that to Harry. You know how he is."
"Remus, really, he is a big boy now."
"You don't understand…"
"If you excuse me." Draco said, standing up. "I have a Quidditch game to attend."
Draco thought it was just his luck that today, out of all days, Longbottom had decided to play. He was clumsy on a broom, and Ron's team was been devastated. Harry's team, on the other hand, was winning without difficulties.
Harry landed before him.
"Hey, I thought you would stay inside."
"Why would I do that, when you are here?"
Harry seemed to think about it. "Because you don't like the cold?" He asked, and Draco laughed. Harry's eyes brightened.
"I like to be with you, too."
"Even if it's freezing?"
Draco sighed in exasperation. "Harry, if I didn't like being with you, I wouldn't be here."
"Harry, come one, Ginny is after the snitch!" Fred, or maybe Greg's voice called out, and Harry gave a quick kiss to Draco before going after the snitch. Draco was left alone.
"Bloody winter." He murmured.
"Come inside then, Malfoy. Harry will shortly come after."
Draco turned to see Charlie lazily against a tree.
"I want to wait for him."
Charlie chuckled. "Don't worry, no one will bite you just because Harry is not close."
Draco looked indignantly at Charlie. "I am not scared."
"I never said you were."
"I'm just not used to this."
Charlie's smile seemed to taunt Draco. "Of course."
"I'm just here because of Harry."
"We all know. We are also allowing you to be here because of Harry."
"Malfoy, really, stop being so difficult. Harry loves you, and he wants to be with you, so we will just accept that. We all want Harry to be happy, and he seems to have found that happiness at your side, so now you are part of the family."
With that said, he left, and Draco thought that his father would surely be revolving in his grave. Draco Malfoy, of all people, actually felt glad to be included in the Weasley family.
He grinned. He never thought the day would come.
Still, it had.
Charlie's words had made him feel warm and closer to Harry. If Harry's adopted family accepted him, then maybe Harry wouldn't leave him just yet. Maybe he truly was worthy of the body who lived too many times to count.
Draco walked towards the house, deciding to help Mrs. Weasley with dinner.
"Pass the salt."
"Hey, that is my potato."
"John, don't play with the food."
"Hermione, you are pregnant, you shouldn't drink wine."
"It's not wine, Ron."
"…I knew it."
"Pass the bread."
"Don't throw things at the table, Bill."
"Listen to your wife."
Harry looked at all the things happening at the table. Nineteen people interacting. They were noisy and unmannered. They were a lot. Harry loved it.
Ginny was giving more salad to Neville, her boyfriend. Fleur was lecturing Bill, her husband, and John, her son, about table manner, while glaring at the twins, who were making fun of their subdue brother. Molly was talking with Remus while Snape looked as uncomfortable as ever, but he was holding Remus' hand, and Harry was sure he wouldn't be anywhere else in the entire world. Ron, Tonks, and Charlie were talking about Quidditch and fighting over a potato. Percy was having a conversation with Penelope, his girlfriend, and Hermione. Harry didn't understand a thing, and he wasn't even trying. All were common things. What was not common was Draco talking with Arthur, though Harry truly shouldn't be surprised. During the war, Draco had developed a certain respect towards muggle things, and that respect had grown into some kind of obsession. Draco loved muggle artifacts, and it seemed he had finally found someone interested in talking about his hobby. They had been talking for over an hour.
"Harry, we just have to buy a DVD:"
Harry turned towards Draco. "Why?"
"Well, because Arthur here…" Harry grinned when he heard the first name "has just described them to me, and I have to have one."
Harry shrugged. "If you want one, we'll get it."
"And you have to take us shopping to Muggle London. Arthur told me about great shops, and I want to go there with him."
"Of course, Draco."
Draco seemed content and turned back to Arthur.
"I never thought he'd get along with any Weasley."
Harry turned to Ginny and Neville.
"I guess I'm just lucky."
Ginny smiled. "No, he is lucky, but I'm glad you found someone."
Harry looked at Draco. "So am I."
"Harry, have more turkey." Molly said, already putting it on his plate.
Harry thought this was the best Christmas ever. He glanced at Draco, who was agitated because of his conversation. Apparently, he was now talking politics, and Percy was in the conversation. Harry's smile faltered. The only thing that was missing was been sure of Draco's love.
"Harry, could you get Draco and Severus? It is time to open the presents." Molly said. Harry nodded and hurried to look for Draco. After opening several doors and not finding either of them, Harry was starting to give up.
It was then he heard the voices.
"He is too much trouble."
"You sacrificed a lot of things for him. I just wonder if he was worthy."
Harry knew he shouldn't be listening, but he had a feeling they were talking about him.
"It was not really a sacrifice."
"You gave up your family."
A sober silence passed, but then Draco talked. His voice was low. "I did what I had to do."
"You killed your father because of him."
"Severus, really, wouldn't you have done the same for Remus?"
"No, I did what I had to do."
Snape sighed. "You just told me that. It's just…you deserve to be happy, and I'm not sure Potter is that happiness."
Harry gasped. Oh, God! Snape had just said aloud his darkest fear. He knew Draco could do better than him. He wasn't enough to make up for all the things Draco had left. He wasn't…
"If he makes you completely happy, Draco, tell me now, and I'll stop questioning you."
Draco hesitated, but then his answer came clear. "Sometimes, he doesn't."
Harry had heard enough.
Draco had just said the one thing he did not want to hear. He didn't make Draco happy. He blinked, trying to fight the tears, but it was useless. They wouldn't stop coming. God, it hurt.
Harry didn't listen to Hermione calling after him. He just felt the need to run away. He left the house and started running away from Draco.
"Where is Harry?"
Draco had heard Hermione calling out Harry's name, and from the sound of her voice, Harry was not okay. In an instant, he was out the room and questioning Hermione.
"I don't know. He left."
Draco glared at her. "That is obvious, but why did he do that? He was having a good time."
Hermione hesitated, and the only thing that stopped Draco from shaking her was her current state.
"He…I don't really know what happened. He was looking for you, and I found him outside this door, crying, and I called out for him, but he just ran…"
Draco brought his hands to his head and slowly sat down on the stairs. Harry surely had heard his conversation with Severus, or at least part of it, and he had come to the wrong conclusions. That was the only explanation. He glared at his godfather.
"I have to find him." He said, but he stood where he was. He had no idea of where to start looking for him. He didn't even know what he would say to Harry once he found him. He buried his head deeper into his arms.
"You know, he is scared."
Draco turned to find Hermione and Remus next him.
"Harry" Remus said. "He is scared you'll leave him."
Draco looked at them with shock. "Leave him? Why would he think that?"
Hermione sighed. "He is used to losing people he loves. His parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Cho, and now that everything is over, that he is finally at peace and no one can take you away, he thinks he is not worth it. He can't believe he deserves you."
"That is stupid. If anyone doesn't deserve to be happy, it is me. Harry is good and warm, and I'm cold and sometimes wicked. Harry deserves much more than me."
Hermione smiled reassuringly. "What Harry needs is you. I knew it even before you two came together. You are good for him, and he is good for you. You make him happy, and he loves you."
"I've always tried to do the best for him. I…I left everything for him."
"We know that you joined our side because of Harry. You have loved him for years now, but Harry doesn't know. He just thinks you joined us because you finally saw the truth. Maybe it would be good to tell him, to clear things up. He loves you, Draco. He loves you so much it sometimes hurts him." Remus said.
"I think I'm not worthy of him." Draco whispered softly. He was not used to opening his heart to anyone, but he needed someone to help him. He couldn't lose Harry. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"If anyone deserves Harry," Hermione said. "It is you. I wouldn't trust him with anyone else."
Draco shook his head stubbornly. "He has been happier here today that any other day with me."
"That is because he is scared to drive you away, but trust me, you make him happy. Even Ron can see that, which is why he decided to behave today. We all can see how much you love him."
"Shut up, Draco, and go after him. I want to go home." Severus said impatiently, and Remus laughed. Draco stood up.
"I'll do so."
He graved his coat and went outside. He was met with pure cold.
He also realized he had no idea of where Harry was.
"You won't find Harry."
Draco turned to find a very angry Ron Weasley. A cold wind passed, and he hugged himself.
"Where is he?"
Ron narrowed his eyes. "Why would I tell you? It's your fault he is sad. All he wanted was to spend Christmas with you and his family, but you ruined it, just like I knew you would."
Draco, too, narrowed his eyes. "Tell me where he is."
"You'll just hurt him again."
Draco wanted to ht the red head. He shouldn't have to explain himself to him. Still, he was Harry's best friend, and he didn't think Harry would appreciate it if he hit Weasley. He was already mad and sad enough.
"How do I know you won't?"
Draco hesitated. It was growing colder, and all he wanted was to find Harry and explain himself.
"I care about him." He finally said.
"That is not enough."
Harry really should try to find less annoying friends.
"Just tell me."
"Give me one good reason to do so."
Draco took a deep breath.
"I….I love him."
It was barely more than a whisper, but apparently, it was enough.
"He is by the lake."
Draco turned to go, but Weasley stopped him.
"If you hurt him again, I'll kill you. Even if Hermione and Harry kill me after that." And he left.
Maybe, Harry's friends weren't that useless.
His tears were falling and trailing down his cheeks, and his heart was broken. He felt as frozen as the lake in front of him.
He knew it. He had always known that he wasn't good enough for Draco. He would leave him, just like so many others had done before, and Harry would find himself alone again. Except this time, he wouldn't be able to get over it. Draco was just way to important. Draco had become everything.
"It is cold, but it is also a pretty night."
Harry turned towards the voice, and his eyes widened.
"What are you doing here?"
Draco ignored him and moved closer to him.
"You've been crying." He said, while passing his hand over his wet cheek. Harry moved his head away from the touch. It would just hurt more when it was gone.
"I'll get over it." Harry said.
"That's the problem. I don't want you to get over it."
Harry suddenly felt angry. How dare he? "It is always about you, but you know what Draco? I'm tired. I'm so tired. I've tried everything to make you happy, but it's never enough, and I'm always afraid to make something that will drive you away, and I don't know if I annoy you, or if you are thinking of the best way to leave me, or something like that. I love you, but I don't know if you do, and I just can't keep on guessing, so…"
He was cut by Draco's lips on his. He tried to resist, but he just couldn't. Draco was irresistible. His kiss was all he wanted, and instead of pushing away, he brought him closer, engraving this last kiss in his mind so he would have it on lonely nights. When the kiss ended, he refused to look at Draco.
"Oh, Harry…" Draco pulled him close to him. He was taller that Harry, and he rested his chin on top of Harry's head. "What am I going to do with you?"
Harry closed his eyes. This was too painful.
"You can go, Draco. You are free to find someone that makes you happy."
Draco pushed him away, and Harry thought that was the end. His green eyes filled with tears again.
"Look at me, Harry."
Even now, Harry couldn't deny anything to him. Slowly, he opened his eyes.
"Those are my lips, Harry."
Harry looked higher.
Harry looked up again.
Sighing, Harry lowered his eyes. He gasped.
Draco's usually cold eyes were filled with something that Harry dare not name. They were warm and shining, and Harry had the vague idea that he was looking at Draco without any armour.
"Listen to me, Harry, and don't interrupt. I think you are here because you think you are not worthy of me, ad you don't make me happy. Correct me if I'm wrong."
Harry nodded and opened his mouth, but Draco silenced him with a kiss. "Good. I thought so. Now, let me tell you the truth. I'm not completely happy, but it is not your fault. It is my fault. You are too good for me, Harry. Everything about you is perfect for me. You are warm and pure, and I've been tainted for a long time. Sometimes, I think you just think you love me because you are confused."
"I do love you! It is you who never says the words, and I annoy you all the time and…"
"You do annoy me, Harry, but I like been annoyed by you. And I'm sorry I've never said the words, but I grew up thinking that emotions like love or friendship made you week."
"I'll never make up for all you lost." Harry said softly. Draco felt himself smile.
"Harry…" He said, while lifting his face. "I gave up everything for you, and I'll never regret it. You are all I want, all I've wanted for years. The only that is missing for me to be completely happy is for you to be happy. I want you to trust me completely, and to be yourself with me. I want you to laugh as much as you did today with me, and I want you to know that I'll never leave you, no matter what. Can you do that for me? Can you trust me? Can you let go of your insecurities?"
"I'm not finished yet."
"You are covered with snowflakes."
"Snowflakes. You must be freezing."
"I don't care."
"You do. Go inside. Why are you here?"
Draco had been waiting for that question.
"I love you."
Harry's eyes widened.
Draco's smile grew softer. "I love you."
"I love you, Harry Potter, and you'll just have to believe me."
When Harry threw himself into his arms and started kissing him feverishly, he knew his point had been taken.
He also knew he would keep telling Harry I love you for the rest of his life.
"Draco, this is for you."
They were finally inside, and Harry was cuddled in his arms with a content expression on his eyes. His jade eyes were filled with warmth, and he was smiling like a mad man. Harry had also opened lots of presents, and he was wearing a new sweater, courtesy of Mrs. Weasley.
Draco carefully opened his present.
Inside, he found a green sweater, and he heard Harry, and many others, gasp.
"She made you a sweater!"
Draco looked towards Mrs. Weasley.
"I…I don't know what to say."
She flushed. "I make one to every member of this family, and you are now a part of us."
Ron grunted, and the twins cheered. Draco just looked down at Harry.
"Welcome." He said, his jade eyes locking into his grey ones.
"I love you." He murmured to him.
"I love you, too." Harry replied, and Draco gave him his warmest smile.
Outside, snowflakes kept falling. Draco looked at them, and he smiled. Maybe the cold wasn't so bad. After all, Harry loved the cold, so that meant he loved Draco.
"Merry Christmas, Harry, Draco." Ron said.
Draco looked at him, and grinned. "Merry Christmas."
Harry's smile grew wider, and he kissed Draco lightly before urging him to put the sweater on.
Yes, this was definitely the best Christmas ever.
Merry Christmas to all of you, and if you wamt to make my day, just review.