Not much to say here, except that I'm pretty proud of this fic and I really hope you enjoy it. Its a pretty lengthy one-shot, somewhat angsty with the fluffy romance mixed in. (And dont worry, my other fics in the making will now be able to be finished because this one is done!)
READ & REVIEW, PLEASE!
Leave it to the Waves
Characters: Maria / Jeff Hardy
Disclaimer: All characters belong to themselves and the WWE. The little thing at the end belongs to The Fray's "Ocean's Away".
Summary: Seemingly alone on the edge of the earth, Jeff seeks truth and true love in the only person who vowed to stay at his side forever. Fluffy, romantic, angst-ish oneshot. Maria and Jeff Hardy
Here's to the man of your dreams.
I take it all in a box and make my way down to the shore,
Throw it in and begin to leave it to the waves .
It was silent. Far too silent than what he was used to.. the soundless echo defening to his ears as he tapped the end of his cigarette, ridding the bud of it's light ashes. He glanced over his shoulder for a slight moment, light and steam from the bottom of the bathroom door flooding into the bedroom, before turning back to the sight before him as he sat upon the bay seat.
The window that was seemingly larger than their front door was wide open.. the doors that usually kept the outside away from him pulled open, as well as the curtains pushed back. There was no screen, no extra glass.. just the white doors, and now that they were away.. it was as if the world he shyed from was beckoning him to take a curious peek over the edge.. where the winds would wrap him in their anger and he'd fall to his death.
He shook his head to clear the thought, taking another long drag of his almost dead cigarette, his fingers still trembling. A chilly wind whistled past, picking up the fiery red and golden leaves that laid dead upon the ground as it did so, and brought his mind back to the world before him. Night had fallen some time ago, the white moon peeking in and out of the clouds that spotted the otherwise clear black sky.. Colorful leaves set life to the crystal whites of the sand, and he watched as the waves of the roaring ocean crashed against the shore.
There were gulls chirping, no dogs barking.. nor even the smallest human speaking. It was silent.. just as silent as they claimed it would be in the brochure. It was seemingly the most perfect of places, a little slice of Heaven.
A perfect place, she had decided, for their honeymoon.
Jeff turned his head slightly again once he heard the running water shut off, the shower curtain swishing back.. the silence shot dead once she started to hum a soft, unrecognizable song. He smiled a small, crooked smile in spite of himself.. loving the sound of her sweet, melodic voice filling the suffocating void around..
He looked down at himself in his half-naked state..the cigarette burns on his fingers, the scars and bruises, the limp and colorful hair that hung in a knot around his neck.. and contemplated why in the world she ever agreed to say "I do." Granted, it had been a simple decision for him to ask her to be his and his alone for the rest of forever..he had known for a long while she was the only one he'd ever love so much.. He bought the ring along with a pack of cigarettes, found the words...and took 3 months to find the courage.
And when he finally said those fateful 4 little words while looking up into her flushed and beautiful face, he was finally able to breath a sigh of relief into the blackness within. They married months later in a small ceremony, surrounded by their family and friends.. just as any wedding should be.
But it wasn't right.. everyone knew that. She was the pretty little sweetheart everyone loved, counted upon for her laughter. But he, on the other hand, he was a black spot on the silver plate of perfection. He was a recovering drug-addict, a smoker, a lazy risk-taker who kept to himself..
But he wasn't incapable of loving. She was living proof of that.
Just as he took another lingering inhale of his cigarette, a door opened from behind him.. steam and the melodic hum filling the area around. From the corner of his eye, he could see her ringing out her lucious brown locks.. her tiny form adorned in black-lace bra and panties, something he hadn't seen before.. something she probably bought just for him, just for tonight.
She walked over to him, sliding herself into his lap as she wrapped an arm around his neck, laying a whisper-esque kiss upon his scruffy cheek. Her skin was almost hot to the touch compared to his own, which had been chilled deeply by the wind..the sensation both lust-filled and strange. She just looked at him then, her face still strikingly beautiful without any trace of make-up, before taking the burning cigarette from his fingertips.
At first, she just looked at it curiously, before taking a small drag herself.. the access smoke seeped from her pouty lips, along with a cough. She frowned, leaning over to toss the cigarette to the ground outside.. then turned back to him, her thumbs running along his half-lidded eyes. "You don't need those,"
Jeff huffed a smile, looking back at her childishly.. as an attempt at hiding the obvious tired lines etched into his otherwise handsome face. "No?" he asked lightly.
She shook her head, then laid a soft kiss upon his bottom lip. "No.. why would you need those? You've got me." Again, a kiss. "And we've got the rest of our lives.. You don't need those." Reaching beside her, she took the half-empty carton of cigarettes and tossed them outside, smiling in satisfaction.
Nodding softly, he wrapped her barley-clad form into his arms and nuzzled her gently, his fingers tangling into her hair. "Okay.." He whispered in agreement, his hands trailing down the small of her back. "Oh, Maria.. what would I do without you?"
A rosy blush rose to her cheeks, and flattered, she lowered her head.. her hands still clasped behind his neck before one lowered to trail down his once-defined chest. She brought herself to him in a passionate lock, inhaling his scent through her nostrils as he pulled her closer still. "I love you.." She breathed, her lips dragging across his.
Jeff took in a quick, heavy inhale.. his eyes fluttering shut once again as he pulled his wife flush against him, craving the sensation of her bare skin against his own. He whispered the words in return, but they drowned in the meeting of lips as they kissed feverishly, passionately.. hands roaming, fingers scratching.
She whimpered against him as he grabbed her chest, his fingers dipping where the thin fabric met her supple skin.. and without hesitation, she unclasped her top and tossed it aside for him, before crashing together in the middle with her chest flush against his own. His hand crept to the heated area where their chests moved with one another's and dipped his painted finger into her clevage, his hand then exploring her greatest assets.
The woman parted herself from him for a quick, deep gasp, then crashed herself against him again, her fingers dipping in to the hem of his pants, tearing the loose, thin fabric away from as best she could. Jeff kicked the rest of the pajamas to the ground below before bringing Maria into his arms again, laying her down on the bayseat and nestling himself atop her. Despite the chill rushing through the open window, beads of sweat trickled down his body and rubbed off against hers, adding to the moisture already embedded into her perfect skin from the shower.
A gasp escaped her swollen lips once he tore himself from her the slightest bit, one arm bent behind her neck for support of them both, his other slowly traveling across the exposed skin of her stomach, his fingernails digging red trails into the moisture. She looked up at him expentantly with her lips slightly parted, his scruffy cheek grazing across hers as his clouded eyes remained locked upon his own wandering hand. Her body was trembling slightly... in anticipation or fear he wasn't sure. She moved her hands upon his biceps for emotional support, her legs squirmish and hot.
Noticing this, he smiled to himself, chuckling ever so lightly as he shushed her, then placed a gentle kiss upon her temple before suddenly sliding his hand beneath the thin fabric, his fingers dipping between her folds.
Maria gasped, seemingly fightened as her perfectly manicured fingernails dug into the skin of his arm, arching herself against him. And yet, he continued without warning, his fingers willingly exploring the hot, wet area as his grinning lips danced across her turned cheek. She whimpered once more, still trembling..her small palm moving down to his chest, as if to will him to stop.
And so he did, not suprised by her initial reaction, his fingers instead keeping busy with the simple task of slipping off the last piece of cloth seperating them from one another. She let it slide of her leg gracefully, allowing them to part in the process, as his hand moved back up to cup her neck. They kissed gently then, taking their time in the moment.. he released a slow breath against her lips, and she breathed against him also, as if somewhat relieved.
A slow breeze swept past, sending the sheer curtain dancing outside.. to the world beyond the window that remained quiet and still, the moon sinking lower in the sky the longer the night went on, the few sparatic clouds drifting by lazily from time to time. The leaves rustled against the crystal sands, the trees stripped of their glory stretched towards the sky with crooked and tangled fingers, lifeless in their state. ...and again, a small breath of wind danced through, floating over and encasing the coupling bodies at the edge of the window.
Maria clung to him still, her inner muscles stretching to fit his size as her pretty flushed face contorted in pain. A hiss seeped from her clenched teeth, her nails still digging into the indents of his muscles as he bound his arms around her for support.. pushing back the pieces of wet hair that clung to her face and shoulders as he shushed her. The moment had been like this, with her trembling in pain and fear and him holding the little form in his arms, unsure of continuing in fear of harming his wife any more.
But after a small beat her breath was under control as much as possible for the situation to allow, her muscles finally calming.. and although she still trembled so, she kissed him in means of encouragement. And, after taking a much needed breath, he continued.. his thrusts varying in both strength and speed as he eyed her intently.. The woman beneath seemed to calm a great deal, her breath now erratic from pleasure, and no longer pain. She even began to move with his thrusts, whimpers and mewles escaping from her still swollen lips, and she arched herself against him for a kiss.
Her mind was spinning, their heated bodies moving together as whimpers and moans escaped between kisses.. his comforting shushes continued, his pace constantly quickening.. and soon, the fire never ablaze before set fire to the rest of the life within her, a numbness taking over her limbs.. A cry spilled from her lips, and yet Jeff continued.. bringing an arm around the small of her back to bring her tired form against his, taking his time before he finished.
Maria allowed her body to fall limp in the embrace of Jeff's arms, pleasure causing her breaths to fall short and her muscles to tighten.. He quickened his pace one final time before slowling down to three final thrusts, the breath he held screaming from his swollen throat as she gasped upon his lips.. before they finished together.
Jeff sat back up against the window, still inside his wife as he picked up her tired form and let it collapse against his own, his arms thrown over her shoulders as her lips grazed his neck, each of them respectively attempting to catch the breaths they'd lost in the ecstacy.
His words dissolved as she dragged her lips to his, allowing them to rest there lifelessly as she hushed him, before laying a kiss upon them ever so lightly. Shifting herself from his lap to release him, she paused for a short moment to revive the sensation in her lower half, before taking her husband's hand within her own and leading him between the thin, chilled sheets.
Three slow, haunting hours had past since she'd fallen alseep next to him, her arm resting on his waist and her head cradled in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Her breaths were soft and rythmic, warm as they floated from her parted lips to the skin below his ear. Her long brown curls cascaded over both the pillow and her shoulder, the thin white blanket shielding her naked form from the cool breeze. She had told him just before she fell into her slumber to sleep well, and he'd been awake ever since.
His new wife's simple words still plauged his mind, her innocent marks still dwelling within his damaged skin, her delicate nature encasing the pain within him. It was wrong, it was as wrong and obscene as everyone else had told her so.. she was far too perfect to wear his ring. Why didn't she listen to them? He would ruin every good thing about her over time, until she became a mere nothing, just as himself. They were only trying to save her.
The steady breeze still drifted through the large open window, and Jeff peered out into the midnight as it called to him softly. Casting a heavy glance at the woman he could now call his own as she snuggled against his shoulder, he gently moved her to her own pillow, slipping out of her warm embrace. And after slipping on a hoodie with a pair of jogging shorts, he tiptoed out of the bedroom and into the night.
The sand was both soft and warm against his bare feet, the melodic voice of the slow waves and distant songbirds soothing to his reckless soul. He fidgited with the half-empty carton of cigarettes inside his pocket he found just outside the window, where Maria had tossed them aside carelessly earlier. He knew it was wrong to take them, that once again he would leave her dissapointed, but right now it was all the company he had.
Slipping the lighter and a cigarette out of the carton, he slipped it back into his pocket after lighting up, the poison like holy water in his veins. His eyes closed subconciouslly as he reached the waves, the foamy edges just barley reaching his ankles before shrinking back to where they came from. He breathed through his nostrils, the smoke from the cigarette between his fingertips dissolving into the purity all around.
The piercing green of his eyes flew to the open window of the small slice of paradise on stilts she called their home, before dropping his half-burned cigarette to the ground and approaching it slowly. Grabbing the island-like chair from the deck below the window, he stood upon it and peered back into their bedroom, embracing the different point of view.
There Maria laid sleeping, still in the same position he'd left her in, still alone in the bed without a companion. She was shivering, the thin sheet covering her naked form, the breeze causing her discomfort. But despite her coldness and the lack of her husband, she seemed somewhat content, her lips forming a pout as they seemed to mouth silent words.
Jeff sighed to himself, about to step down from the chair and head back to the waves, when suddenly Maria shot up in her dreams with a gasp, her chest collapsing with each heavy breath she then took. Crouching down and slipping behind the curtain so as she would not see him, he watched as she let the thin sheet fall from her ample chest, bringing her other hand up to wipe her face and forehead. She looked beside her, at the disheveled sheets and nothing she expected to see, and sighed.
A small gasp escaped him as she suddenly peered out the window, expecting to see him somewhere in the world he feared, but, seeing nothing, quickly turned back to the emptyness beside her. Her perfectly manicured nails ran down his pillow slowly, tracing the indents where his body should have been. Molding her body into those indents, she clutched his pillow against her form, taking in the lingering warmth. Seemingly defeated, she buried her face into his pillow.. and from the way her shoulders were trembling so, he could tell she was crying.
His first instinct was to jump through the window and bring her into his arms, as to absorb the harsh sobs he knew were his fault in every way imaginable. But after small thought, Jeff realized that perhaps crying would be good for her heart..and stepped off the chair to head back to the ocean.
As he found himself once again standing still at the edge of the waves, his mind floated through thoughts of his new wife, and the pain she was enduring for his sake. She was so beautiful, so strong.. causing him to wonder how many times after he'd dissapeared into the night she had to cry herself back to sleep. A woman so perfect as she was didn't deserve that, no man would do that to the woman they loved.
Time was nothing as the waves crashed into him, his eyes closed and hands shoved into the pocket of his sweatshirt for warmth.. he was lost, more lost than he usually was, and yet, it seemed to bring him peace. Only did his eyes flutter open when his other hand brushed against the foreign ring on his left hand, and he brought it out to have a good look himself. He ran his hand across the simple gold band, taking it off to peer at the inside. To his surprise, inside was engraved something he hadn't noticed before.. "Truth & True love."
Not knowing what the hell it meant, Jeff shooks his head, placing the band back on his finger, before he felt a pair of familiar arms band around his waist. Lifting up his arm to get a good look at the woman snuggled against his side, Jeff frowned, noticing the small sad smile and red-rimmed eyes that adorned Maria's face.
"Baby?" He whispered, bringing her closer to his side for the extra warmth she always provided. "You okay?"
She nodded slowly, her eyes fluttering to avoid the tears. "I'm fine.. I was just worried when I woke up and you weren't next to me.." She looked off into the distance, towards the far away ends of the ocean and the moon that hung high in the sky. "What're you doing out here?"
Placing his cheek atop her head, he brushed his fingers against the area just below her ear, causing her to shiver faintly against him."Just..thinking, I guess."
Maria fell silent for a little while, listening to the gentle rush of waves as they just barley reached her toes, encasing the cosy warmth of her husband. "Is something.. bothering you, Jeff?"
Jeff sighed into her hair before lifting his head up, straying away from her eyes as they burned a hole within him. "..yeah." He whispered, now wondering how he was going to find the words to tell the only woman he ever loved that he felt she didn't deserve him, that he was sick and tired and stripped in every way possible.
"Tell me," She demanded softly, bringing his face within her palms to kiss him, "You can tell me anything, baby, you know that."
"I know, I know.." He smiled softly, huffing a small chuckle in the process, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against Maria's, "I just don't know how to tell you this... I - I don't want to hurt you." They were each silent after he spoke, with Maria waiting for his words and Jeff choosing the right ones to use, taking extra precautions.
"I-" He barley managed to croak in a whisper, before he had to stop himself and wipe his eyes, pintching the bridge of his nose as he turned away.
"Jeff..." Maria whispered, pulling him towards her once again, tears burning the backs of her crystal-like eyes as she watched him, watched him struggle within the inner war against his own self. "Sweetie, please just tell me.. I'd never abandon you, you know that...all I want is for you to be honest with me, and happy. I could never be dissapointed in you, so don't be afraid."
The silence hurt him, her words slicing his heart.. "I think you deserve better than me, and I know you could do better...and everyone else knows it, too... I see the way they stare at me whenever we're together, like the sorry excuse for a man I really am..and I can't blame them for thinking that I don't deserve you. You're beautiful, and they see that... then they see me, this fucked up, over-run guy that looks as harsh as they see him..." He trailed off, unsure of what he was saying any longer, realizing his emotions were taking over his words. Looking down at Maria, he was startled to see her face was a ghostly white, her eyes brimmed with tears. "Oh, God, baby... I'm sorry." He nuzzled her in his arms, "I didn't mean to upset you... I'm so sorry.. my heads just a little messed up right now, so whatever comes out of my mouth... just-just know that I love you.., okay?"
"..you don't think you deserve me? that you deserve us? ..Jeff-"
"Sweetie," He silenced her trembling lips with a kiss, bringing her closer for warmth as he breathed into her hair. "..forget about it, we're okay."
"No, no.. i know that. I know we're okay... I just don't think you really believe that." She took his cold palm in both her own, bringing it to her lips, then brushing it against her cheek. "And I don't know what to do to convince you that nothing between us isn't true, or loving... We are husband and wife, Jeff, does that mean nothing to you? I told both you and the Lord that I would love and care for my husband until death would we part, and I would never lie to you, baby."
Jeff looked away, the pools of his eyes melting into the that of the ocean's, wishing whatever cause the puncture in heart to shatter so it could heal again. "I know, an - and thats why I love you so much... thats why I decided I wanted you to be mine forever..because even at my worst, your love never changed... I just feel, inadequite.. I don't think I'll ever be able to take care of you like a good husband should.. You're so perfect, I'm barley anything at all..."
"Whoa, hey... there's no 'I'm this, you're that' in our relationship, Jeff. We are one in the same now..." Turning him to face her one last time, Maria took in a deep breath, clasping his trembling hands in her own. "When I said "I do," baby, I meant it. I didn't marry you because you asked, or because I thought things would get better once we were. I married you because I love you, I always have.. I don't care that - that people think you're inadequite, or that I'm just a careless wreck.. I don't care that they think what we have isn't true, or fair.. or real. Because it is, and I know it is... and you know it, too. And thats all that matters.. isn't it, baby? Thats all that matters... right? You know I wouldn't have married you if I didn't love you... and I know if you didn't love me you wouldn't have asked...and yeah, okay.. sometimes I think that maybe - maybe you don't really love me and I'm completely blinded by my own hope, but then I'll see you... you and your beautiful face, and all that doubt just washes away. Sometimes, I think we have to be numb to the depths of certain things... because if we felt how much we actually loved eachother, I think it'd kill us.. right, baby? And I think if everyone who doesn't believe in us would just open their eyes to how in love we really are, it'd kill them, too... right, baby?...right?"
Jeff nodded, dropping his hands from her own so he could bring her into his arms, where she supplied both warmth and comfort. His wife cried into his shoulder, her tears dripping from her cheek and seeping into his sweatshirt, and he nuzzled her gentle, cooing in her hair as means of comfort. "..you wanna head back inside, Maria? You must be cold."
Sniffling, she looked back up into his childlike face with a smile on her own, shaking her head. "No..one more thing," Digging into the pocket of his sweatshirt, she pulled out the carton of cigarettes and filled it with sand to weigh it down, then threw it out into the ocean as far as she possibly could.
Somewhat both confused and delighted, he chuckled slightly, turning to Maria's smiling face. "What'll that do?"
"The waves'll take care of it," She spoke as she leaned into him, "They always do.. My dad used to take me out to the shore once in a while and we'd just scream out all our problems or frustrations to the world, then he'd tell me it would all be okay 'cause the waves would carry whatever troubles I had away."
Arching a brow to her for a mere second before turning back to the ocean, Jeff eyed the great, clam body of crystal-like waters intently. "All your troubles?"
She nodded, "All of them."
In a mere second, the childish man brought Maria into his arms, swinging her over his shoulder before running into the cool ocean waters, where he allowed himself to collapse within them. She came up sputtering, the waters still up to her neck as she kneeled to catch the air she'd lost, glaring at the laughing man before her. "The hell are you doing?"
Laying back within the waters, Jeff spread his arms open to the stars and sky, welcoming the Lord with his smile. "Getting rid of all my troubles," He said. "I just wan't them to go away.. and after this? No more troubles." He laughed faintly, "Mm.. I love you."
Cocking her head to the side, Maria smiled at him softly, before jumping into his arms and wrapping herself around him. "I love you, too..." Running her fingers through his wet mass of colorful hair, she pussed it back, stroking his now revealed face. "But c'mere... its about time we head back inside."
She pressed her lips against his passionately, her shoulders sliding down the side of the open window as Jeff gathered her into his arms, sliding the shirt that clung to her over her head. Fully revealed to him once again, Maria sacraficed herself for her husband in a way she'd only done once for him, or anyone else, before. And it was perfect, true and loving, marking a new path not yet taken in the life they now shared.
The waves were calm, melodic and charming in their silent song as they dissolved the troubles of lovers within all it's endless glory. The webs were untangled, the darkness revealed with the light. The moon was high, bright and promising. And a slow breeze swept past the open window, encasing the coupling lovers..and carrying them away.
And days die young when you're gone, and you're gone .
There goes the sun, oceans away
And leaves the day for someone else .