Oh look it's another chapter... Doges tomatoes uhhh hi everyone? Okay now that that's over I have a question, what pairing would you like to see in this story? You need to read this chapter first to really answer that question. At first it was going to be a Fiyeraba and Gloq, then it turned to just a Bessa, then today as I was finishing up I was thinking of making it Elphoc, now I still want it to be Fiyeraba... So I'm leaving it up to you.
PLEASE READ: I would also like to say how much you guys mean to me. Over the last few months, which explains my absents from this site, I was diagnosed with a disease, which makes me miss very long periods of school. I just started high school this year, and it's been very hard. This website has been my lifeline and writing for you guys has given me so much freedom. You guys mean so much to me. All your support through these last months has meant more then you ever could imagine. This story is on the alert list for 31 people, and on the favourite list 19, and I am so truly amazed. I'm not bragging, so please don't think that. I'm just trying to express how thankful and how happy you guys have made me. I know that I'm far from the best writer, and that my grammar and spelling needs tons of work, but I try, and your response to that has made me so happy. So thank you guys so much! I love all of you, really. You have no idea how much this site has helped me through the last few months. Well I'm not here to bore you with my life so here's the next chapter!
Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't.
'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
They say that time heals all wounds. Each rise and fall of the sun is the beginning of a new day; a new chance to shine, and prove your self's worth to the world. Supposedly, if you have been harboring emotions for an outstretched period of time, they were expected to evaporate; turn to dust. You were expected to get up and move on, like nothing had ever happened.
Boq never was one for superstitions. So as each day turned to dusk, each night turned to dawn, the emptiness he felt expanded, pushing him further into the depths of depression. It was like something was crushing him from the inside, forcing him down as he kept struggling to get up. All he wanted was freedom; to be able to be let go of. He wanted a chance to live his own life. A life that Nessarose Thropp, wicked witch of the East, was not apart of. Not this form of Nessarose, anyway.
More importantly, he wanted, needed, a life with Glinda. He had waited too long to make his move. If he didn't hear the sound of his name coming from those pink lips soon, he was going to go mad.
He had made his decision, he was leaving tonight. Whether it be by force or not, he was getting out of this hell hole he had gotten himself wedged in.
Pulling on his silver cap, the munchkin examined himself in the large oval shaped mirror in his bedroom. As his reflection stared back at him, a piece of paper that was sticking out of his dresser drawers caught his attention. Turning around, he opened the old wooden drawer to retrieve the old dusty sheet, finding that it was attached to at least one hundred more pages. A book. The corners of his mouth turned up into a surprised smile as he examined it more closely. It was his yearbook from his first year at Shiz. So that's where it had gotten to.
Sitting down on his bed, he flipped through the first couple of pages, astonished. How long had he looked or this thing? It was coming up to four years since the moment he had revived it, he was almost certain it had been lost. Nessarose had no doubtable taken it away from him in order to remove all pieces of evidence that her sister had existed, or that Glinda had existed. He had been unbelievably angry with her when he had found out that she had stolen it from his room. It had been the last piece of evidence that told that their whole group of friends once coexisted, happily.
As he flipped toward the middle section of the book, a certain photograph made him stop suddenly, breath catching in his throat. It was a picture of the ten of them, taken just before the Lurlinemas dance.
Beautiful, blonde Galinda stood crouched just over Nessarose, whose chair had been decorated in red and green bows, in a long flowing scarlet dress, while he himself, trying desperately to be seen, stuck his head out from between Crope and Tibbetts shoulders. Avaric stood to the right of the group in a long deep purple suite, arms draped around Pafanee and Shen-Shen, ecstatically. To the left, at the furthest end from everyone, Elphaba stood staunchly in a lavender dress, trying her best not to laugh as Fiyero, who had taken it upon himself to stand next to her, made faces at the camera. The Prince and the green girl had never noticed the mistletoe that had hung over their heads.
What a happy and joyous night they had had! He could still, even after all these years, hear Glinda's giddy laugh as she bounded down the hallway to meet everyone, dragging Elphaba behind her, insisting that the green girl look absolutely gorgeous in the long frilly dress she had bought her. How he wished more then anything that they could go back to the way things had once been.
"Boq?" turning toward the door, he smiled as it opened to reveal Elphaba, dressed in along red gown like thing. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything, I can come back later if you'd prefer."
"No- no! Come in Elphie, come in," he motioned for her to join him on his bed. "So what brings you to my neck of the woods? You usually spend the morning with Nessa."
Noticing that he had decided to use her sisters pet name, Elphaba smirked inwardly. Maybe Nessarose would win his heart after all. She hadworked hard over the last three months to gain his trust back.
"She's been walking for quite some time on her own Boq, I think she's more then capable of handling herself for a few hours."
Silence filled the room after that. Afraid that he had offended the green woman, he turned his attention back to the yearbook.
"Oh Oz Boq," Elphaba began, arms extending toward the book, "Tell me that's not what I think it is."
"Oh my dear Elphie, it most certainly is. Care for a quick glance into the past?"
"Is there anything else you require, Madame?"
Turning around to face the nursemaid, the governess replied "No," with a quick wave of her hands.
"Very well, I'll leave you and your nephew alone. Just ring the bell if you need anything."
"Thank you Bella."
Red lips stretching into a pearly smile, Nessarose walked up to the well made crib, meeting the two blues eyes of her nephew. It was just approaching nine o'clock in the morning, and already she had been into watch the sleeping form of the baby boy three times, making sure he was in no less then absolute perfect condition.
For so many years, these walls had only been used as an extra storage room. It was so odd, yet so incredibly exhilarating to see it finally back to its original purpose.
She touched the cribs wooden rail, remembering how she had waited eagerly every night for her big sister to come and sing her to sleep. As an anxious three year old she always needed her big brave sister to scare off all the monsters that hid in the nursery closet. All in all, her childhood had been like a dream. They'd come to this room often, her father, sister and herself, to stand together and watch the fist snowflakes touch the ground. She remember Frex's strong arms wrapped around her so protectively. She'd always felt so safe with him – so unequivocally safe. Nothing could ever harm her when her father was there, holding her close to his heart.
Her heart lurched as she remembered the morning her world stopped cold.
"Father!" Wheeling herself over to the pale body of her father that lay in the middle of the courtyard, the teenage girl held back a sob. "Father please! Get up! You have to get up! I'm home- I'm here!"
The mans cold stare mirrored her emotions.
"N-Nessa? Is that you?" Frex's voice was distant and strained; he didn't have much time left.
"I'm here, it's alright! You'll be fine!" Looking around frantically, the wheelchair bound girl grabbed a metal tin that was lying on a rock beside her chair, and continuously bashed it against the rock, trying to make the biggest racket she could. "Help! Please! For God's sake- someone help me!"
A white hand struggled to grip one of her legs.
"N-Nessarose. L-listen to me, you must listen, you have to listen," A cough caught in the mans throat. "You're the governor now. Take care of yourself, follow the unnamed God, my precocious Rose."
Falling onto her knees, Nessarose's sobs seemed to shake the earth. "No, you can't leave me! Not you! Not you…" Her words trailed off as she realized that the man's body had gone limp.
The boy's attempt at saying "Nessa" snapped her right out of her trance. She couldn't explain it, but it was like the boy was some kind of calming drug for her. He had a magic about him that she just adored. She had developed a bond with the baby that she had never experienced before. As a young girl, she had always dreamed of being a mother, having a devoted husband, and living ever last one of her days to it's fullest. Never had she dreamed that her life would go in the direction it had.
"How's my little man doing?" The infant screeched his reply, and held out his arms to be lifted. Scoping him up into her arms, she made her way out of the nursery toward the kitchen, catching sight of her reflection in one of the many hallway mirrors. She was an average height with a very slim waist. Her long chestnut brown hair that was usually done up in a bun, framed her face in long beautiful ringlets. Her hazel eyes, large and wide, had been outlined in black eyeliner, making them standout even more. Sighing with satisfaction, the young woman continued toward her destination. Boq will be so surprised!
Grinning like a giddy schoolgirl, Nessarose reflected on her relationship with the munchkin.
Three years ago, even three months ago, she wouldn't have dared to do what she had done so early this morning. After all, she thought, bitterly remembering the words he had spoken to her when she had told him she loved him, what does undying devotion mean to someone who was so stuck up on a dumb blonde? She'd had too many other problems to deal with back then. Her sister was on the run with a child, the Quadlings were trying to declare war on her without any given explanation, and the man she loved, loved someone else! She had no time to think about treating him with respect.
Until Elphaba and little Lirr had shown up, she'd taken herself from that faze of emotions of where she cared for everything and made sure everyone was catering to her ,and her needs alone. Never mind how it affected everyone else. Now though, it was as if the past was just a dark memory.
Liir, the wonderful blessing that he was, had made her care again. Care about her people, about living, about her emotions and that of those around her.
Most of all, the undying love that the infant gave off, reminded her about Boq, and what he meant to her. She now truly cringed with self hatred every time she thought of the past three years and how she had treated the poor munchkin. He should have left her along time ago, but wonderful sweet Boq, out of pure devotion and love for her, had decided to stay and take care of her. They were in love with each other- she was sure of it! Nothing, nothing, would ever change that or come between them. Sure Boq hadn't said anything to her yet about it, but she was certain that it would happen any day now, and that soon there would be a spring wedding in the works.
"Come on Liir, let's go show your future uncle how handsome you look."
Finally to the point where she could keep her emotions in check, Elphaba sighed. Pulling her legs up onto the bed, she stretched them out next to the munchkin.
"I can't believe, after all these years, you've remained the same," Boq said as he thoughtfully fiddled with his thumbs. "You're still the same green, bundle of energy, I asked at five years old to marry me, as we sat on the picnic blanket in my back yard."
Smirking, Elphaba poked him in the stomach playfully. "And you, Boqie boy, are still the same, short, boy I promised to marry as a innocent little girl. How dare you go around corrupting the minds of innocent little children!"
"If you had of asked me, back when I was five, I would have sworn I was hopelessly in love with you. I would have done anything and everything for you that I could of."
"Believe me, I remember. Does the scene of a short boy standing outside this house fifteen years ago, singing his devotion to me, ring a bell?"
"OhOz you wouldn't speak to me for a week! I swear I'd never seen you so mad in all my life!" A loud laugh escaped the munchkins mouth. "I though Frex was going to murder me with the way he chased me down the road that night!"
"If he had of tried to kill you, I don't think I would have stopped him," a warm feeling spread over her as Boq's hand found hers. "You were my best friend. You did everything you could for me, and I still refused to acknowledge I knew you at Shiz."
Concerned at the sudden remorseful tone the green woman's voice had taken, he sat up and lifted her chin with his hands so she was looking him in the eyes.
"Elphie, forget it. Don't worry about it. It's in the past. We still became friends remember?"
"Boq I," beginning to shutter, the green woman bolted upright, emotions overtaking her for the first time in months. "You were so good to me, and look how I repaid you! You never deserved this- no one deserved this!"
"Elphaba! What-" Horrified at the sudden outburst, Boq wrapped his arms around the woman, in a strong embrace. "Elphaba don't- Do notblame yourself for what happened! You didn't know Madame Morrible and the Wizard-"
"No- no! But I should have! I should have Boq!" Arms weaving around his neck, she buried her face in his shoulder, letting the tears finally come. "I was such a-a fool."
"Elphie,Elphie, shhh! Don't cry!" turning her face toward his he hurriedly dabbed her eyes with his sleeve before the water could burn her skin. "Elphaba you did nothing wrong! Elphie if I could change anything about the past it would be the way you were treated. Don't you see? You above all else shouldn't have been treated the way you have! To hell with everyone else! If I-"
The green woman brought a finger to his lips, silencing him. "Don't say it, Boq. Don't say it. I've been the cause of all the panic around Oz since the day I was born, so don't you darestart to blame yourself! It's my fault Oz hates me, and it's my fault that those Monkeys-"
"No it's not! I would do anything for you! Anything, Elphaba. You mean all of Oz to me, you're my best friend- I'd die for you! If Oz even knew half the things the Wizard has lied about! One day,one day soon, all of this will blow over! The Wizard will be seen as the bastard he really is, and you, you Elphaba, will have so many opportunities!" Planting a kiss on her cheek he began to rub soothing circles all over her back. "Elphie, I-I love you."
Shocked, Elphaba shoved her way out of his arms and jumped off the bed. No one had said that to her before.
"No- No! Not like- I didn't mean-" Panic soon began to overtake the young man.
Smiling sadly, the woman returned to her former place on the bed beside him.
"I know. I didn't mean to startle you, sorry. No ones ever said that to me before…" Lifting a hand to trace his jaw line, a beautifully tragic smile crossed her face. "I love you too, Boq, I just… I wish it was enough. I have to go. I've waited too long here. I have unfinished business in the Emerald City that I have to attend to."
As she headed toward the door Boq jumped up after her, grabbing her hand.
"I'm coming with you."
"What? Boq no I-"
"Please Elphaba, do this one thing for me. I couldn't live with myself if you were captured. At least with me there, if you get caught, there'll be two people against the Wizard. Two against one."
"No! Boq if you got hurt on my account I couldn't live with myself! I have to go alone, I have to make things right again-"
"And what? Leave your son without a mother? Have you forgotten about him already?"
Taken back by his sudden strong tone, she stopped to glare at him. "He'll be safe here with Nessa. She loves him, she'd raise him well."
"So you're just going to abandon him?! Just like that?"
Anger suddenly began to boil within her. Who did he think he was, her father?
"And what? You're just going to leave Nessa like that to defend me?" She spat at him. "Or have you just suddenly forgot about my sisters undying devotion to you?" At his silence she continued. "But that's not why you're coming at all, is it? You're not coming to defend me. You're trying to win back Glinda!"
"That's a heartless thing to say!"
"Oh come off it Boq!"
"Don't you start acting like such a-"
"It's the truth! It's humane nature to do things that benefit yourself," seeing his head drop, she knew she had struck a nerve and decided to soften her expression. " I know how much you cared for her Boq, I cared for her too. And I know that you've been planning to leave for quite some time, I'm not a fool. I know how the world works."
"Elphaba, I never loved Nessarose! You have to understand, Glinda means everything to me-"
A horrified yelp coming from the door caused the two to spin around.
Eyes welling with tears, Nessarose clasped a hand to her mouth in denial. No this couldn't be happening to her! Not her. She didn't understand it! How could this be happening to her? Her Boq, he… He couldn't love her! He was over her!
"But y-you were s-so nice to me!" She stuttered, sobs beginning to overtake her ability of speech. "I-I thought you loved me!"
"Nessa I- I-"Boq could visibly see her heart shatter.
"Don't call me that! Don't you dare call me that!" Face turning red, she put Liir on the ground. " Get out!"
"Nessie!" Elphaba began only to be silenced.
"Get out! Get out! I hate you! I hate you!" Crumpling to the ground in a horrified heap, she buried her face in her hands, to ashamed to be seen. "Get out!"
Rushing to her sister's side, Elphaba cradled the hysterical woman. "Boq you babbling idiot! Don't stand there with your mouth hanging open, go to the gardens! I'll meet you there tonight. Move you idiot!"Romantic fool.
Deciding that he'd best take Elphaba's warning and leave before Nessarose did something drastic, he picked up Liir and rushed out the door.
"Shhh Nessa, shh," Kissing her sisters head, Elphaba groaned inwardly. She had thought she had gotten Nessa out of this habit. "Calm down Nessie, it's alright."
"So, you're sure, now. You're leaving, possible walking right into your death bed." The Eminince of the east said as she stood at the doorstep of the mansion with her sister that evening.
"Nessa, I've done all I can for you here! Don't you see? There's nothing left for me, I have to leave," After hours of trying to calm her sister down, Elphaba had finally managed to tell her she was leaving. Nessarose had thrown a fit of course, but in the end, exhaustion won over, and she agreed to it. "You can take care of yourself, you're a role model now. Remember, I'm trusting you with my most sacred possession."
Nessarose glanced down at the infant cradled in her arms and determination to provide for him seemed to wash over her. Maternal love though could not conquer the emotion she felt when thinking this would probably be the last time she'd see her sister. "I love you, Elphaba."
Grabbing her older sister around the shoulders, Nessarose buried her face in the thick black material of the green woman's dress. "I'll take care of him, I promise."
As she returned the hug, she pecked the younger woman on the cheek, all too soon letting go and caressing her sons cheek for the last time. With a wave of her cloak, the green woman disappeared into the distance with the munchkin at her side.
"Oz speed, my sister."
Later that night, when the servants and gaurds were in bed, when Liir had been fed and fallen asleep, Nessarose crumpled against the door of her bedroom, clutching the birthday gift Boq had given her last year, a heart shapped necklass, and sobbed.
I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight
cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'cause I can't make you love me, if you don't
I'm very sorry I haven't had time to go over this chapter so I know there's lots of spelling and grammar mistakes. I'm not feeling well at the moment, but I really wanted to get this out to you guys. I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again but I have a whole plot that's very different from the original planned out. Which story of mine would you like me to udate next? I need to no so I can work on it when I have time. Thank you all for your support and time!