emm hi" yeah, you probably hate me for taking so long with this new chapter and i understand you completely.

so an enormous sorry goes for all of you, who read this story.

i'll try to update sooner the next chapter .( is not a promise, though)

thanks for understanding and happy reading!

xx

florciss

Chapter 8: because of a few memories…

Hermione's memory.

I hadn't finished sitting on my bed when the bedroom's door gave a little noise and the wooden floor creaked, letting me know that someone had just entered the room.

"Are you ok Hermione?"

Quickly I covered my face in my hands and nodded slowly. I lied down completely so that the person could not see my face. A silly thing to do when he had sat next to me and made me uncovered my face.

"Hermione…you are crying again"- he observed with sorrow in his face.

I bit my lip and couldn't help a sob escape my lips. I erected a little and launched into his arms, which grabbed me sweetly. It was impossible not to cry when an enormous pressure was contracting your chest every time you think in that special person. I felt how his hand caressed my hair as rebellious tears were watering his shirt.

"We can't keep going like this"- he said again with his voice a little louder- "you can't keep going like this Hermione, please, I hate to see you like this"

Well don't look at me! I wanted to tell him. That is the reason I was hiding from you! But he wasn't guilty and he didn't deserve to pay for my sorrow, my hatred, my despair. The only thing he did was being there, with me, cheering me up.

"I I'm sorry…" I finally said cleaning my wet face with the sheet of the bed. "Lately I do nothing but cry…"

"You'll get sick" my companion observed. "You should tell me what is wrong; I'm going to understand you"

I leant my head to one side so those black eyes weren't bothering mine. I couldn't lie while watching the person straight in the eye.

"it it's about my father…he… he is sick" I tried, already sure that he was not going to believe me.

" I called to your house a while ago and mr granger was perfectly fine" he said, taking my head softly and making me look at him again " you know I don't like you to lie me Hermione"

"Yeah, I know"

You don't like anything!

He looked as if my own father. Sometimes, when I closed my self up and cried he would treat me like a little girl. It is not that I hated it… but those last weeks I was angry with myself and the world and even a little detail could make me get mad at him. I was starting to hate him and I loved him.. Not in that meaning….he didn't deserve tolerate me for so long. It had to stop.

"this has to stop Herm" he said then, making me lift my head, surprise, because I had the impression that he had hear my thoughts and at the same time I was unsettled because he had called me like that, when I haven't heard the name for years.

"What has to end?" I dared to ask with my broken voice. I was sure he wasn't thinking the same as me.

"You should do something with yourself. You are in a bad state"- I knew it. I cursed, not knowing why, to know him that much. I frown my brow and take my eyes from him, hurt. "Don't you see that I care for you? What the hell is wrong with you lately? If you told me I would do anything to help you! "

I denied with my head and his hands grabbed slowly mine, as if he was scared I was going to reject him anytime.

"You know I love you, don't you Hermione?"- He asked cautiously in a whisper.

My eyes filled with tears instantly. I nodded shakily, not sure if that meant something good or bad.

"I know it too" he went on "I know that I love you and that I would do anything for you" millions spines drove into my head , one by one, and I hated my self again for not loving him like he loved me. I felt guilty for being with him without any reason…- "and I also know… I also know, unfortunately, what you feel for me"

Metaphorically, I received a punched in the stomach with those words.

I knew it. He knew it. I wanted to explained myself, I wanted to tell him that my intentions were good I wasn't planning on doing him any harm, the only one suffering with this pointless relationship was me, only me…

"I…" I whispered and cried on his shoulder once again.

"Hermione, don't… don't feel bad about it" he said affecting firmness, but his voice was getting broken. "I don't want to make you love me and I don't want you to stay here with me either. You are free to do whatever you want, and if you want to go back to London you have the right. You are not attached to me, you don't have to feel sorry for me because… you are not capable of loving me."

I cried silently. I was an idiot, for not knowing how to love him…he was right, I wasn't capable of loving him, I wanted to know how... I really wanted! He gave me his love, his heart… and I didn't give anything to him in return… I wanted to love him, with all my being! But you can't love two men at the same time. I knew that perfectly.

It was so unfair!

"I don't want to go to London" I replied without looking at him. I was afraid to see in his eyes more anguish that in mine.

"And you don't want to stay here either, don't you?" he asked with a sight. I bit my lip again. He knew me, and that gesture. Indecision. "I know why you don't want to go back Hermione"

This time I couldn't help myself, and I looked at him. Yes, he was terribly pained. He was giving me a broken smile to cheer me up and at the same time to cheer him up. Impossible, he wasn't capable of achieve any of the two… the sorrow was written all over his face, the knowledge I was never going to love him back.

"Is because of Ronald, isn't it?" he ventured, getting me back to reality and leaving me confused. How could he know of Ron… what I felt for him? . "You love him, and can't forget him even while you are with me... That is, isn't it?"

I pressed my lips so as not to let more tears fall, and gave my brain the order of staying calm. I looked down and fidgeted with my hands.

"No… it's not because of him". Another lie. He was right. He always was. "I … I never loved him… never… he didn't love me…and I didn't love him…" my voice started trembling. "And… and... He didn't stop me when I left… I I don't love him … b besides… me and him…it would have never worked out…"

And I cried my heart out.

His arms embraced me again, knowing I was only using him as a shelter to hide the fact that I couldn't forget Ron. I knew it hurt him… but it was inevitable. It was him or me. One of us had to suffer because of the other.

"Stop fooling yourself, Hermione… don't deceive me, don't deceive yourself…you know well enough that it doesn't work that way." He took my face in his hands, making me look at him. "Come on, run. You still are able to look for him. Go to London if you want. You are free to go."

"I know… but I don't want to go back to London" I insisted. "I don't want to see him ever again…" I blew my nose and looked at him intensely. "Thanks for everything"

"Don't mention it" he smiled at me. "You know I'll always be there for you, for whatever you want. Don't forget me, please"

"I won't. I know that you won't either" I answered, getting up ready to finally leave, not to London but another part of Europe.

I heard how he got up.

"I guess that…" he started saying, with his hands in his pockets and leaned on the frame of the door. "This is kind of a goodbye. When I get back from the practice you won't be here right?"

He eyes were full of anguish and although he had told me to go I was going to miss him.

"No, you aren't wrong."

"Is logical" he shrugged his shoulders. "I wish the best in your life, you deserve it"

"Thanks" I was trying not to cry again. "Thank you very very much, victor"

He smiled at me nervously. Then, he took his eyes away from mine, turned away and opened the door for me. I had just left the room when I heard his small and fragile whisper:

"I love you"

And he closed the door. It was the last thing I heard from him, before going that same afternoon to Italy.

End of Hermione memory.

A small light in the answering machine informed me when I arrived home that I had messages. I pushed the button.

"You have one new message. Received today at 21:18; from the number…."

I almost wasn't hearing that voice. Mi mind was in a straight street dark alley. In a drenched Ron. In those lips. In that kiss…

"Hermione?" said a voice trough the other said of the receiver. I was startled, recognising josh's voice. I was about to reply him when I realized it was a message. "Hey, it's josh…em…do you remember we had arranged for half past nine? I'm sorry, but we will have to arrange for another day. You see, it's because of my mother. She…"

I stopped hearing for a moment. I had forgotten that I had to see josh, though fortunately, he couldn't make it. A good thing, really, now I could stay and think only of ron…

"… So I'm going to stay the night with her. We'll talk on Monday at school ok? See you"

I heard how josh hung up and the woman started talking again so I hung up too.

I lied down on the sofa and sighted a smile in my face with my eyes closed. I thought how many years ago, when I met Ron in that train, someone had told me that I would feel all this things for Ron; I would have laugh, with my innocent eleven years.

The phone rang. I jumped because of the fright, and then I stretched my hand and took the receiver saying a weak "yes?"

"Honey!" was the reply on the other side.

I got up so I was sat comfortably.

"Mum!" I exclaimed smiling. "I haven't heard you for so long! How are you? How is dad? And Crookshanks, is he ok?"

"Yes, everything is perfectly fine here darling." My mother replied. "Crookshanks is eating less than normal, but it's because he is getting old. And I say the same about your father "she added with a little giggle.

I laughed too. It was nice to hear the warm voice of my mother again.

"And you?" she asked- "you seem very happy… how is everything going? How is work?"

"Everything is well ma" I answered happier by the minute.

For the first time in a long time I realized that the answer that I gave my mother was truly sincere. I wasn't telling her something so she wouldn't worry, like I used to do in these years, the answer had come from my heart. And automatically that happiness linked with Ron. If it wasn't for him…

"Do you keep going without smoking?" she wanted to know.

"Of course!" I replied annoyed. "And if you are going to ask me, I do cook my own meals"

My mother laughed.

"I know you aren't a kid anymore" she answered back, but I knew why she was saying it. "But tell me, when are you going to visit us? Now you are in London again, you could come home one of these days…"

" I know, but right now I had a lot of work to do. Maybe for Christmas's break I will spend it with you"

That was a half lie. Ginny had proposed me a few days back, to spend Christmas the four of us together in Paris. I wasn't totally decided anyway.

"Are you happy Hermione?" she asked out of the blue.

I was a little surprised, but didn't heisted in answering

"Yes. I'm very happy mum"

Hermione's memory.

"Do you realize this is our last year Ron?" I asked him excited.

" mmh… yeah.." he answered thoughtfully and distracted.

"We have to make the most out of it" I went on, trying to get a well deserved reply.

The silence was almost deathly inside the castle. It was the first round of the year, two days after the beginning, and Ron seemed less interested than ever. I noticed him distant from me and my friendship, but I would do anything not to lose him.

"Sure…" he replied, as if he didn't care what I was talking about.

I pursed my lips, angry, but didn't say anything.

We turned right and found the corridor that leads the stairs. We kept walking downstairs, doing our round without a word. We were walking far from each other, our tunics weren't even brushing; and I was staring to worry about that sudden distance between me and Ron.

"What is wrong?" I asked without helping it, looking at my feet.

He turned his head to me but I was still looking at the floor.

"What is wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know…" I shrugged my shoulders timidly. "You are like... Anyway, you haven't talked to me since we were on the train. Besides, is not as if I'm complaining, but we hadn't argued one in these three days. It's like…. I don't know…" I replied, confused. "Have I done something for you to get mad at me?"

"No, it's nothing like that" he replied looking down. "Is just that… even if you don't believe it, I had already thought that this year is Harry's, yours and mine. And, well, I… can't believe that so many years have passed and at the same time…" he sighted " all these years have went by too fast"

"I know Ron. I see it that way too" I agree, now looking at him. "but, what is the problem with me?"

"With you?" he frown his brow. "Nothing, I think. It's, just, that I have a weird feeling you know. Like if, after the filosofal stone, after being almost there to lose my sister, after driving my dad's flying car, or after playing a quiddicht game as a keeper… and a long, long etc… after have lived so many adventures, there is still something I have to do; I don't know if you understand me"

"Yes, of course I understand you." I said nodding "I feel the same sometimes"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really" I concluded.

We looked at each other and blushed, though no one knew why. There were times, when we were alone, that I couldn't look at him in the eye; he intimidated me.

"And you…" he started, after clearing his throat. "Do you think we will see each other again? I mean, once all of this is over and have our carriers and such. Do you think that we are going to still be friends? And Harry, of course." He added in a rush.

"I hope so" I said "I wouldn't want to be apart from you because of anything in this world"

I saw how he looked at me with the corner of his eye and looked down again, with his ears red.

"I think that…" he said shyly "I've never told you before, but you… you are a very special person for me"

He said it with such speed that I could swear he wanted to beat a record. I stopped, and after a few steps he did too but he didn't look at me; he just stayed there with his back towards me, hands in pockets and head down.

"What have you said?" I whispered, shocked by the sudden daring.

"I'm not going to say it again" he replied with stubbornness.

"Okay, don't. Why are you saying this?"

"Because is true" it looked as If saying the things quicker than usual he would make the conversation end.

My eyes were still glued to his neck, full of curiosity.

"I mean, why am I special?" I tried to get things clear. "Because I do your homework when you fell asleep? Because I can get points to Gryffindor? Because.."

"No" he cut me off coldly. "Well, at least not because of that only; but because you are my best friend and you are always there. Because, even if you get mad at me, you help me with my studies. Because you are the first one who believes in me… because I know you will never let me down. That's why you are special. Do you want more?"

I smiled.

"if you want more…" he continued with his back still to me. " I'm like this with you because every time I think that after all of this there is a chance that I won't see you again, I can't take it, I don't image my life without you in it"

I came closer to him and saw his eyes firmly shut. My smile got wider. I bent my head and gave him a sweet kiss in the cheek. Ron looked up, confusion written all over his face, and a bright red in his cheeks and ears.

I grabbed his hand.

"We won't separate; I promise you" I assured him "thanks for all you've said"

He gave me a smile too.

"Isn't that what girls like, telling them nice things?"

I laughed.

"That's it Ron" we started walking again and descended another stairs. "And.. I'm glad that you finally realized that I'm a girl" I added jokily.

There were two steps left to reach the end of the landing of the stairs, but I stopped and let Ron take the lead. I wanted to see him face to face.

"What do you expect? Haven't you forgiven me yet?"

"Why don't you try" I asked him, looking him from above. I couldn't help thinking how cute he looked with his fringe to one side.

He smiled again, that heavenly smile that day by day had me more captivated.

"I have known you are a girl for a long time" he stated, and I felt how he was smiling that way for me only.

I smiled to him; it was the second time that I heard such beautiful things coming from his mouth that night.

I was going down to meet with him and keep going with the rounds, but I was too distracted looking at Ron that I tripped with my tunic and fell.

No, wait… I didn't fall. Ron caught me just in time. He was driven by my weight to the wall and I buried him into it.

When I realized what had happened, I found myself in his arms. I looked up, aware that I was going to find his face… and it happened.

I bothered my eyes into his, fascinated to have him so close, to feel him with security and to smell his aroma with clarity. We stayed like two fools, looking at each other, for a few seconds until we both reacted and moved away. Him, with his hand in his red hair and his red face; and me with my hands in my tunic suddenly fascinated with the stony floor.

"mmh. Ejem.. Thanks" I whispered ashamed.

"Yeah… ehh" he started saying while scratching his back neck. "No problem"

We went on our route without saying anything more. That night too many words had been spoken…

End of Hermione's memory

"mum, I have to hung up… there is another call" I said after hearing the little sound which meant some one was calling while I was talking.

"Okay. Take care. Love you"

"Love you too mum"

I pushed the button that would lead me to the other line at the same time and looked at my clock: it was five to ten. I made a quick calculation and realized that only half and hour had passed since my first kiss with Ron.

"Yes?" I asked without feeling like talking. I grabbed a mint and put it in my mouth.

"It's me Hermione" Ron's voice said from the other side.

I spitted out the candy and coughed. I had almost choked.

"Hermione? Hermione! Are you okay?" Ron asked worried.

I looked at the receiver shocked. I didn't understand how, after so little time, Ron had called again. My heart was beating like mad. That mouth which was talking to me… I had kissed it only mere thirty minutes before.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine" I finally answered, trying to make my voice steady. "What… what happened? Did I forget a paper in Harry's house?"

"No, no …" he answered insecure. "Is just that.. Well, you know that we are going back to my place today for the weekend…"

I remembered briefly how he had told me about his plans for the weekend, but I wasn't paying much attention.. Why? Oh! The book! All that seemed so distant now.

"Yes... And?" I encouraged him.

"Well… I wanted to know if you would like to come with us"

Hermione's memory.

A small shaking in my shoulder woke me up. The freckly face of Ginny was smiling at me.

"Happy Christmas!" she almost yell very happy.

"Gin…" I said rubbing my eyes and sitting in my bed "what are you doing here?"

"There is no one in my room, everyone went home and as the same happened here I came to give you your Christmas present" she explained, giving me a package with the form of a book.

"Oh! Thank you so much!" I said with a big smile. "And happy Christmas for you too… did you like my gift?"

"Yeah a lot!" nodded Ginny. "I was dreaming for some muggle clothes, although I'm not sure if my mum or my brother would let me wear that short mini skirt" she said as started giggling.

"Don't worry…" I said when a laugh escaped my lips. "Hey, have you seen Ron or Harry?"

"I went to their room but there was no way I could make them open their eyes" she said somehow grumpily. "Aren't you going to open my present and the others?"

I saw a whole mountain of presents at the end of my bed ready to be opened. I smiled, and first of all, with my friend's attentive glare I opened her gift. It was a diary.

"Oh gin! Thanks!" I said giving her a hug.

The next one was from my parents. It was a novel of aghata Christie. Ginny made a funny face when se read the name of the author, but didn't ask anything, she might have realized it was a muggle book.

Harry gave a book of charms, hagrid another book of famous wizards in the xii and xv century, mrs weasley tons of fruit cakes and my grandparents muggle money and a ticket to buy 3 books in a store close to home.

The gifts were over. I looked at the small pile in my lap. Books and more books. Didn't anyone realized that Hermione granger like other things besides reading? Wasn't something missing?

"Where's Ron's present?" asked Ginny looking for the non existent gift under the broken papers and even under the bed. "Hasn't he given you anything?"

"It seems like he hasn't" I said shrugging my shoulders to appear indifferent but the truth was I couldn't get that face out of my mind.

"Strange, isn't it?" she commented. "Well, maybe he ran out of money again"

I couldn't blame him for not buying me something if he didn't have the money for it. I knew the weasley's economic problems …

I got dressed quickly and got down to the common room with gin. Ron and Harry were waiting for us to go together to the great hall.

"Merry Christmas you two!" Harry exclaimed happily when he saw us.

"Happy Christmas Harry" said a shy Ginny.

"You too Harry!" I said.

I realized Ron was still anchored in the red sofa and the moment I draw my attention to him , I saw his eyes full of sadness and guiltiness. I understood that he was trying to apologize for not buying me a present, so I did my best to smile at him to assure him it was okay.

"Merry Christmas Ron" I said with a wide smile on my face.

Little by little he smiled at me too, looking enormously relieved. He got up and looked at me.

"Merry Christmas" he whispered with complicity.

Dumbledore gave his Christmas speech as usual at the beginning of breakfast, and then I apologized to my friends saying I had a transfiguration essay to do, and with that I practically ran out of the great hall.

Truth to be told, I wanted to be alone. I walked trough the long Hogwarts corridors and stopped by a window that had a view to the gardens. I stood there, looking at the trees, which had their leaves full of snow. I needed to think.

"Why books?" I asked my self." is true that I like them, but what the hell? Don't I mean anything else to everyone? Is that the only way they see me, as a reading addict?" don't get me wrong, I wasn't discontent with the gifts I had received, it was just that every year it was the same: for six years, actually seven with this one, the presents that were more popular to give me were books.

I loved them. I don't deny it. But please! Like the only thing silly Hermione could do was reading one of her enormous books!

The only thing I asked for was something with I could feel really loved, appreciated. Why books? I don't have a shinning sing in my front head saying "give me a book or suffer from a painful death" why then? Didn't they get that I also had another likes in my life?

I felt how someone cleared his throat behind me. I turned around and found the face and eyes that made me lose my sleep in the nights.

"Hi" greeted Ron happily with his hands hidden in his back.

I averted my eyes and focussed once more in the sight of outside. That smile could to wonders with me, but today I didn't want to talk to anyone. Not even, and this is saying something, with Ron. He couldn't even buy me a small book, a stupid guide or a worrying dictionary. Not even a cooking book. What the hell! I could perfectly run a library with so many books.

"Is something wrong?" he asked standing by my side.

"Nope, just thinking" I answered.

"And what are you thinking about?" he asked curious.

I looked at him with the corner of my eye.

"You wouldn't be interested"

"Well, maybe I would. Why don't you try me?"

"Is just…" I heisted for a second. "hey Ron, do I have face of a book shelf?"

He burst out laughing.

"I don't think so..." he replied still amused. "What is it about?"

I looked at the sight I had in front of me. Ron would never understand me. Ron understood nothing at all, it seemed like his life was based in humour and not worrying. But I didn't lose anything telling him and getting it out of my system. After all, he was my friend. And what a "friend"..

"Well, people maybe blind then" I continued. "They only see me as a book self or a library one or the other, because they keep giving me books and more books"

"But they are your passion" he pointed out.

"Yeah, maybe they are" I whispered, mad at myself. "But that doesn't mean I don't have other passions, other interests"

" and what interests do you have?" he asked.

I thought that he might be bored, if not why the sudden attention to my things.

"I don't know. Music, theatre…" I took a quick look at him. You for example… you could wrap yourself and come for me. You would be the best gift ever. "Normal stuff, I'm glad with a simple musical box"

"Jewellery?" he suggested looking at the horizon

"Yeah, jewellery too" there was a small silence. "Ron, do you think I'm more than just a bookworm?"

"What?" he said alarmed. "You are not a bookworm! Who has told you that!? It was malfoy, wasn't him? Ohhh don't worry. The minute I see him I'm going to give him what he deserves."

"No, don't… relax, nobody has told me that".

"so..?"

"is just one of the things I know people think and comment about me" I pointed out, a bit sad .

"People, people…" said Ron with sudden anger. "You don't have to worry about what people say or think, most of the times they are totally wrong. Like now: you are not a library rat, Hermione, lets make it clear. You are an intelligent, nice, pretty, fighter, understanding girl… you are the definition of a perfect friend. A role model of an amazing person. It's all bullshit what they say Hermione." He looked really angry with what I had said. "And if not, look at you! If you were a mouse or a rat, you couldn't have crookshanks for a pet!"

I laughed heartedly. Ron could always make me laugh, wanted or not. That was one of the things I liked most about him. I knew he could always cheer me up, whether I was angry or sad … he could take a smile from my face.

"Thanks Ronnie"

"My pleasure, BUT don't call me Ronnie" I laughed again, as usual his pride above all. "And now…"

He took a few steps back from the window, and I followed suit.

"Now…" I replied truly intrigued.

He held out one the hands that he had been hiding behind his back and I was surprised to see an elongated box in gift-wrapped.

I looked at him with my mouth hung open, asking for an explanation.

He just smiled at me.

"Did you really think you could get away from my Christmas gift?" He asked with sarcasm, and what I thought it could be a pleased look.

"Ron…"I whispered, taking the box in my hands and remembering what Ginny had told me. "You didn't have the obligation to buy me anything."

"And why not?" he said with that beautiful smile of his on his face. "You are my friends and have every right to receive a gift from me"

"But…" I said a little shyly, still without assimilating that I have the box in my hands. "I'm sorry Ron, I'm sorry but I can't accept it.. I don't want you to be left without money…"

"Without money?" he made a gesture that clearly showed he had no idea what I was talking about. "Who has told you that? Maybe I don't have a good income right now but I can afford buying you this. Besides, I do whatever I want with my money. Come on! Open it! I want to see if you like it."

I examined his face, still doubtful, but his face had such happiness that made me get rid of any doubts I could have and with shaking fingers I opened the paper which wrapped the gift… an elongated blue box… that looked like...

I opened it.

It was the case of a necklace! My heart started beating quicker than usual.

Placed between the white quitted was an elegant silver chain which ended with an elongated and curved pendant with the name "Hermione".

My eyes filled with tears. I looked at him again, and gave him a weak smile.

"Ron, I…" I said with husky voice. "Thanks.. It's beautiful"

"Do you like it?" he asked me with his eyes shinning. I only nodded, incapable of saying anything, I was feeling such emotions that I could Beverly talk. "Give me that, I will put it on you"

He grabbed the pendant carefully from both extremes of the chain, and made me turned around so I was giving him my back. I felt how he put it in front of my neck, careful not to hurt me, and how then he was struggling in my nape to tie it, while I was holding my hair. Finally, I noticed the lack of his hands and the chain perfectly situated around my neck.

"It's done" he whispered.

I turned around slowly so he could see how it looked on me.

"Brilliant…" he said in low voice. He stood there, looking straight at me for a few seconds and then started rambling. "You know something? The bloke from the jewellery shop wanted to shorten your name, he just wanted to put " herm" or "mione" , but I told him straight away that I wanted the complete name or nothing, that it didn't matter how much it cost. Although he did haggle me for about ten minutes, the dull. Ah! And later he made me try it when it was ready, to see if he had done it nicely you know, not too long, not too short… yeah, well it looks much better on you..."

He laughed and I imitated him. I knew he was talking with so much energy because he wanted to get away, I mean, he would always start talking like crazy when he was in an embarrassing situation or a not too comfortable occasion.

"And why didn't you leave it in my dormitory like always?" I wanted to know while touching my name with my fingers.

Ron shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't want your friends to see it and laugh at me" his face became a bit red. "So, please could this be between you and me. It would be our little secret" and he winked at me.

I smiled.

"Of course" I replied. "Ron, it's really pretty… I promise you I will always wear it"

Then Ron grabbed the chain with several fingers and looked at it thoughtfully.

"I'm happy you like it" he said. I couldn't stop looking at him; every detail of his face seemed to me the most beautiful thing in the world. "With my budget I couldn't buy it of gold" he turned red again. "But I guess that…" his smile started fading while he picked another chain, this one of gold. "You have enough with this one"

That necklace he had picked had a pure gold pendant with a "v" aggravated in a star form. Two mornings ago I had opened in the great hall a letter from Viktor and that pendant had fallen out of the envelope, telling me in a little note that it was my Christmas gift. As every Gryffindor on the table, Ron had seen the gift and once again started talking badly about Viktor.

I didn't want him to get mad at me again, I didn't the moment to be ruined. So I took his hands in mine and looked straight in his eyes, which were sparkling with anger. When he felt his hands in mine he seemed to have calmed down a bit; but still he didn't look at me.

" I had forgotten that your precious Vicky has to be ahead of me in everything " he whispered with loathing. " I wish I could give you things like this. I bet it must have cost him a fortunate."

His ears were almost so red that I thought steam could come out of them. I smiled at him.

"Ron…" I whispered, caressing his cheek which was turned to one side. "I don't mind how is the gift, not even the quality of it, cheaper or more expensive … but I do mind the person who gives it to me"

He looked at me with the corner of his eyes.

"And also how he gives it to me" I pointed out, now surer of myself. "Look, Viktor only could give it to me trough a letter, but you, you have come to look for me and give it to me; instead of leaving it in my bed like always. And besides… you know I care a lot more for you than Viktor."

He turned his face to me, his blue eyes illuminated.

"Really?"

"You don't have to ask me that, of course I do" I said smiling sweetly.

His face shone with that radiant smile dedicated to me, and me only. We were close, so close, and closer…finally, our bodies were brushing, and noticing Ron's face so close to mine I couldn't help lower my head and give a small and shy smile. While I was looking at his creased shirt I heard how he sighted looking at the roof.

When I dared to look at him, his eyes were closed and his face held a disappointed smile.

"Well" he said moving apart from me "I've got to go, I'm happy that you liked my present" he took a few steps backwards as if he was very hurry to leave. "See you herm!"

"No! Ron wait!" I exclaimed when I realized what might have happened. "WAIT"

But he was already running away from me, and I couldn't catch on with me even if I wanted to.

"I did want to kiss you" I whispered to myself sadly.

I was sure he had thought when I lowered my head that I didn't want to kiss him… rgh! How mistaken was he!

I touched slightly the pendant with affection, and promised myself that the next opportunity I had to kiss him, if there was one, I wouldn't let it pass away.

I didn't know that, months later, I would leave Hogwarts running with my suitcase following me magically, decided not to return ever again. And that the movement of throwing Ron's necklace away would hunt me for nearly 8 years…

End of Hermione's memories.

"Well then, it's decided. We'll pick you up on our way; okay?" asked Ron happily and didn't even let me respond. "Hurry up with your packing, see you in a bit herm"

"See you…" a second later, I heard Ron hanging up the phone.

I left the receiver in its place and stood up. Then I realized that I hadn't even taken off the anorak and, trying to touch a non-existent pendant I felt my damp undershirt which was still wet from the rain. I didn't want to change of clothes, though. I was going to spend my weekend at Ron's house. WITH Ron. I wasn't capable of processing it.

I went to my bedroom and prepared my suitcase, just the essential and what I would need the most. My inside was so happy, jumping up and down from the excitement but from the outside I showed seriousness…is just that everything had happened so quickly.

I closed my eyes and saw that perfect moment under the rain, that kiss that changed everything. And then I had this weird feeling, insecurity… how would be everything from this moment? Would we be closer than before or would we drift apart because of the thought that the kiss ruined our friendship?

I realized Harry didn't matter. Don't get me wrong, I love him, he is the brother I never had… but years before we were Hogwarts golden trio and now he was making a new life with Ginny, he was going to marry her and it seemed like me and Ron were left in second. Now Ron and I were going in a road, and Harry in other.

In our school years, we didn't have alone time… taking out some exceptions like prefects rounds. But the present was another thing; every time we met we were completely alone….

Maybe that changed everything.

The bell of the entry phone made me snap out of my thoughts. There was Ron. I went to the machine with a big smile on my face and when I answered with a "who is this?" a childish voice came to my ears.

"Hi!" exclaimed Nigel very excited from downstairs. "My uncle says that you have to get down here now!"

"Okay, tell him I'm right there" I said while laughing.

I picked up the suitcase and looked around, my house. I knew that, after the weekend, when I went back I would be a new Hermione.

And, while taking the lift, I thought I couldn't be wrong.