I would like to thank Jenn for taking the time to help me improve this fic. Her ideas and comments were invaluable!
This story is taken from the season three episode The Prophecy. It was one of my favourite episodes but it left me wanting more…so I decided to write it for myself!
I hope you enjoy…please R&R. All feedback is appreciated. Thanks.
Brennan landed the Helix back in Sanctuary and sighed as he watched Shalimar wordlessly rise from her seat and make her way through the open hatch. She hadn't spoken a word to him the whole journey back.
The team had defeated the Guardian and the child, his child. The boy was now safe on the run with Riley. He took a deep breath before he made his way into the main area of Sanctuary.
"Hey stranger," Lexa greeted him as he walked down the spiral staircase.
"Hey," he smiled half heartedly as he sat next to her at the computer terminal.
"So how does it feel to be a father?" Lexa asked with a wry grin.
"I'm not a father, just because someone decided to steal my DNA and make a child from it does not make me a father!" he snapped in response.
"Wow! I was just making conversation Sparky. No need to bite my head off," Lexa threw her arms up in the air, taken aback by his reaction.
Brennan ran his hand through his hair, "Sorry Lex, it's been a long day I guess I'm just a little tired."
"Its fine," she smiled. "So what happened to him then?"
"Who?" Brennan asked slightly confused.
"The child." Lexa's eye's narrowed.
"He's with Riley; she's going to hide him from the Strand." Brennan answered quietly, staring blankly at the computer screen.
"Well at least he'll have someone to look after him," Lexa said as she continued typing on the keyboard.
"Yeah, she seemed to share a connection with him." Brennan answered looking into Lexa's eyes.
"Her DNA did help create him; she probably feels a kind of maternal instinct towards him."
"Yeah, I know how she feels," he mumbled. "He wanted me to go with them."
"Were you not ready to settle down and play happy families?"
"No, I mean yeah, it's not that. Honestly I was really tempted and I guess a part of me still is."
"Really so what stopped you then?" she asked although she had a good idea of his reasons, but she also knew he would never admit the main one.
"I couldn't exactly abandon you guys, not with all this stuff going on and the Dominion hanging over us."
"Brennan that's not really a reason to stay, don't get me wrong we want your help and it would be hard without you here, but if you wanted to be with your son no one would think badly of you." She paused seeing the shocked look on his face. "Hey! Just because I come off as being cold and heartless doesn't mean I am. If you were running off after some hot piece of ass then yeah I would berate you but this is completely different."
"You do realize that there is some 'hot ass' involved though," he smirked when she frowned at him.
"Is that all you think about?" Lexa huffed.
"No, not all the time," he smiled. "Thanks Lex," he added before making his way to his room.
"No problem Sparky, anytime." Lexa's voice trailed after him.
Shalimar stood in the shadows. She hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but the temptation had been too great. A silent tear fell as she realized how much Brennan had actually wanted to leave. She just wished she knew why he wanted to go. Was it just because of his son or did he feel something for that bounty hunter?
Sighing she made her way to the hanger bay. She wanted to talk to Bishop again, she had to know what the future had in store for them. It was a couple of hours later when Shalimar arrived back, even more confused than when she left. She couldn't stop thinking about the prophecy Bishop had told her, in particular the part about 'one will fall', she wished he had told her whether or not it meant one of them was going to die. The thought absolutely terrified her.
"Hey Shal, where have you been?" Jesse asked as she walked past him, he was shocked when she just ignored him and kept on walking, "Shalimar?"
"Yeah," she replied turning round to face him.
"Are you okay? You just walked right past me."
"Sorry I didn't even notice you," she gave him a half hearted smile as a way of an apology.
"Didn't you hear me?" he asked concern colouring his face and voice.
"No, I was just in my own little world I guess. What's up?"
"Nothing," he shrugged. "I was just wondering where you had disappeared to," he added, reaching over to switch off the computer terminal he had been working on.
"Oh no where, I just wanted to go check up on something. It turned out to be a dead end," she lied but could tell Jesse was suspicious from the way he looked at her. She chose to ignore it and smiled before she headed off to her room.
"Brennan, do you know what's bothering Shal?" Jesse asked as Brennan exited his room.
"Erm…no she hasn't really spoken to me since we got back, why?"
"I just saw her, and she seems awfully distracted, I thought maybe you could go check on her. See if you can find out what's bothering her."
"I think we should just leave her be for now," Brennan said as he continued in his original direction.
"Come on Bren, you're the only one that manages to get through to her these days." Jesse said, slightly bitter that he was no longer as close to the feral.
"Fine but it'll be on your head when I get the crap beaten out of me," Brennan half joked.
"Nah, she won't beat on you…Well maybe just a little," Jesse patted him on the back as he made his way to the lab.
Brennan sighed as he approached Shalimar's door. He softly knocked on it before calling to her, "Shalimar? Can I come in?" he waited a moment for her to reply before trying again. "Shal, I know you're in there, please let me in."
"Just a minute," she shouted from inside her room, "What's up?" she asked as she opened the door.
"Can I come in?" Brennan asked hesitantly. Now that he was here, he wasn't quite sure what to say.
"Sure," she tried to sound as confident as possible. She stepped to the side and allowed him access to the room.
Brennan looked around and took a deep breath before starting, "Is everything okay? You've been awfully quiet and Jess said you weren't acting like yourself when he saw you."
"So Jesse asked you to come and check on me?" she snapped in response.
"Well yeah, but we are both kinda worried about you," he shrugged.
"Well tell Jesse I'm fine, is that all?" she said as she reopened the door to gesture him out.
"Shal, would you please talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you," Brennan pleaded softly.
"I told you I'm fine. I'm just a little tired….." she said.
"Did I do something to upset you?" Brennan asked, perplexed.
"No, I told you I'm tired I just want to get some sleep," Shalimar said pleading with Brennan to leave. She couldn't deal with him just now.
"Why don't I believe you?" Brennan asked, sceptical of Shalimar's words.
"Fine, do you really want to know?" Shalimar asked, slightly agitated.
"Of course I do," Brennan answered with an incredulous look on his face.
"Okay then, why did you stay Brennan?" she folded her arms across her chest.
"What?" he asked a little taken aback.
"Why didn't you go with them?" Shalimar repeated.
"You mean Riley and…."
"Your son," she finished for him as she struggled to keep her anger in check.
"I didn't want to abandon you guys," he said truthfully. "There's too much shit going on with the Dominion," he explained.
"Well I agree with Lexa," Shalimar said softly before plunging forward. "That's not really a reason to stay. Not when your son needs you."
"So you wanted me to go," he asked. His voice was raised with a mixture of surprise and anger.
"I never said that," Shalimar quickly countered.
"You didn't have to, maybe I should just go now," he shouted as he stormed out the room.
"Brennan wait," Shalimar demanded as she followed him out her room.
"For what? You've made your feelings on the matter pretty clear." He angrily spat not bothering to turn round and face her.
"I didn't mean it like that," Shalimar implored.
Brennan finally stopped and turned to meet her eyes, "Okay, so what did you mean then?"
Shalimar reached out and tried to grab his hand only to have him pull away. She blinked back the tears before looking into his eyes, "I was only trying to point out that there really isn't anything to hold you here, if you…."
"No, I guess there isn't." Brennan said interrupting, "You know what, screw the lot of you. Since you are all so keen for me to leave that's exactly what I'll do," he added as he turned round and headed to his room. The slamming door echoed through the halls ominously.
"What was all that about?" Jesse asked Shalimar as he walked toward her with Lexa not far behind him.
"Nothing, just a small misunderstanding," Shalimar whispered as she tried to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.
"A misunderstanding, my god it sounded more like World War Three," Lexa said in disbelief.
Shalimar's eyes flashed golden before she wordlessly turned and headed to her room.
Brennan exited his room with a bag. She stopped in her tracks, "Brennan?" she choked, "Brennan where are you going?" she added unable to hide the panic welling inside her.
Brennan stopped and slowly turned round to face her, "I need some space, Shal; time to think. I'll be back in a day or so."
Shalimar watched Brennan turn and make his way to the garage.
She made a move to follow him but was stopped by Jesse putting a gentle but restraining hand on her shoulder. "Let him go, Shal," he said softly.
"But, what if he doesn't come back," Shalimar said as the bile rose in the back of her throat. "I have to explain that I didn't mean what I said."
"Brennan just needs time to cool off Shal. Don't worry, he'll come back when he's ready," he tried to reassure her.
"I hope your right, Jess," she whispered as she wiped away a tear that had fallen.
A week had past with no sign of Brennan. Each day Shalimar became more distant choosing to spend most of her time either in her room or in the gym. At least in the gym she took all of her worry and frustration out on the punching bag.
She awoke early on the eighth day, she hadn't managed to get more than a couple of hours sleep each night since Brennan had left. The strain of worry coupled with the lack of sleep was starting to show. She slipped out of bed and quietly headed to the kitchen. She was grateful that both Jesse and Lexa were still asleep, she didn't have the energy to face them. She knew they were both worried about her and deep down she was grateful for it, but she wasn't sure she could keep her anger in check if either of them asked her how she was one more time.
After making herself some strong black coffee she went for a run along the beach in hopes that the fresh air might do her some good. She wanted to clear her head of the thoughts that were running through it, the thoughts that she just couldn't bring herself to even consider, the one's that said: Maybe Brennan isn't coming back.
Lexa walked into the kitchen to see Jesse sitting on the stool and drinking a cup of coffee, "Morning, is there some coffee left?"
"Yeah, I just made a fresh pot, help yourself," Jesse nodded his head in the direction of the coffeepot.
"Thanks, have you seen Shal this morning?" she asked as she poured herself a cup of the steamy brew.
"No, she wasn't in her room when I went to check on her. She must have gone for another run," he shrugged.
"We have to get her to snap out of her mood. We can't keep going on like this. I feel as though we have to tip toe around her and it's just pissing me off!" Lexa said as the frustration bled through her voice.
"I know Lexa, but we need to give her time to adjust," Jesse said softly. He was loath to admit how much he was missing his friend too.
"You mean adjust to the fact Brennan isn't coming back," Lexa said. She knew it was what Jesse was thinking but wouldn't say.
Jesse opened his mouth to respond when he heard foot steps approaching. "We're in the kitchen Shal. I've made some coffee if you want some," he shouted. He hoped she would join them. He paused and waited for a response, "Shalimar?" he said again just as a figure appeared in the doorway. "Brennan," he said slightly shocked.
"Hey, have you seen Shal? I tried her room but she wasn't there," Brennan asked.
"No," Lexa said angrily. "Is that all you have to say? You've been gone over a week! You took off your com and for all we knew you could have been abducted by the Dominion or even dead!" Her voice wavered slightly on the last word.
"No offence, Lexa, but I don't need to answer to you," Brennan snapped.
"We know Brennan," Jesse stood between the two torn between the joy of seeing Brennan and the anger of him not caring to let them know he was okay. "But you could have at least let us know you were okay, we all care about you. Do you actually realize what you have done to Shal she has been worried sick," Jesse told him.
"Look guys, I'm sorry I should have contacted you but I needed to think. I did a lot of that and that was why I needed to see Shal. Do you know where she is or not?" Brennan tried not to sound frustrated but failed miserably.
"I think she went for a run," Jesse said sitting back down.
"Thanks I'll see you later," Brennan said as he turned and headed to his room leaving a slightly stunned Jesse and Lexa in his wake.
Shalimar made her way back to Sanctuary after her run. She was just about to enter the main area when a familiar scent caught her attention a small smile crossed her lips. She realized Brennan was back and followed his scent that led her to his room.
She slowly approached his room her hand poised to knock on the door, but something stopped her. She wasn't sure what she would do when she seen him, a part of her wanted to grab onto him and never let go and the other part of her wanted to kill him for all the worry he has caused her.
Taking a deep breath she softly knocked on his half open door, "Hey can I come in?" she asked.
"Of course," Brennan said as he turned to see Shalimar enter.
"Where have you been?" She asked him trying to hide the anger she was feeling.
"Here and there," he shrugged.
"You've been gone over a week Brennan! Did you ever stop to think about what that would do to us? I…We've been worried sick and you just stroll in like it doesn't matter. Like we don't matter," Shalimar said, throwing her arms up in the air frustrated by his lack of emotion. "Do you even care?" she asked.
"Of course I care. Look Shal I'm sorry, okay. I've already had an ear full from Lexa and Jesse I don't need it from you too," he snapped.
"You should have thought about that before you disappeared," Shalimar told him as her eyes scanned the room. "Brennan, what are you doing?" she asked, looking up to meet his eyes.
"Erm…I'm packing. I only came back to get the rest of my stuff," he said nervously.
"Where are you going?" she asked as she tried to keep her emotions in check.
"A friend of mine opened up a gym and I'm going to run some self defense classes for him. It should be fun." Brennan said matter-of-factly as he continued to pack, "Look Shal I've never been one to stay in the same place for too long, in fact I'm surprised I stayed as long as I have." His tone was different than that of the Brennan she had come to know.
"That's bullshit and you know it!" Shalimar exploded then took a deep breath and tried to focus, "What about me and Jess? We need you here," she added softly.
"Shalimar don't," Brennan mumbled.
"Don't what? Don't care? Don't try and make you stay? This is a cop out Brennan," Shalimar said picking up his bag and showing it to him. "I don't understand why you can't just talk to me, tell me what you are feeling. Why now after all this time?" she tried hard to hold back the tears that were cascading down her cheeks.
"Because I can't take this anymore, okay! It's too hard" he said turning away and throwing some more clothes in his bag.
"What's too hard?" she said helplessly as she watched him throw the last few pieces of clothing he had lying on his bed into his bag before he wordlessly zipped it up and walked out of his room. "Fine be like that Brennan! I'm here and you don't even realize it," she shouted after him.
Brennan stomped to the garage and got into his mustang. He started the engine and was about to drive off when he banged his hands on the steering wheel. "God, when did I turn into such a wimp?" he asked himself, his hand hovered over the gear shift before it changed direction and cut off the ignition. He stalked back into the main area of Sanctuary where he saw Shalimar slowly retreating towards her room. He picked up speed and pulled her arm to stop her. "Do you really want to know why I never went with Riley?" he asked.
"Yes, I do." She replied as she spun around to face him.
"Okay, this is why," he said pulling her towards him and firmly placing his lips over hers in a demanding kiss that left her stunned. Her initial lack of reaction made him begin to pull away, but she stopped him, allowing him instead to deepen the kiss until the need for air broke them apart, he lowered his head so their foreheads were resting against each other. "I love you, Shal," he panted softly against her face.
"I love you too," Shalimar whispered tears forming in her eyes.
"Come on, I think we need to talk." He took her hand and led her to his room, closing the door behind them and pulling her into another passionate embrace. This one slower and softer, he slowly swept his tongue into her mouth and savoured her warm taste. He cradled her head with one hand and pulled her in tighter with the other.
"I thought you wanted to talk," Shalimar murmured between kisses.
"We are talking," he said before deepening the kiss and leading her over to his bed. He backed her up until her legs hit the edge and they tumbled onto it together.
Slowly the clothes were shed and their bodies lost awareness of where one ended and one began. Nothing but the soft moans and sighs between them.
Several hours later Shalimar was lying with her head on Brennan's chest as he ran his fingers through her hair, "You know when you dumped me to go off with Riley…"
"Shal don't," Brennan interrupted and kissed the top of her head.
"No, its okay," Shalimar said turning her head to look into his eyes. "I was just going to tell you, that well I was pissed at you and I starting taking it out on the punching bag, but Lexa came in and said I had 'Brennan issues.' She said that my hackles go up every time you get close to another woman and I tried to deny it but I don't think she bought it."
Brennan laughed, "Yeah, Riley told me your fingerprints were all over my heart. I guess everyone else knew before we did."
"We knew, we just wouldn't admit to it. Not even to ourselves," she smiled as he lowered his head and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
"Well not anymore, I love you Shal and I'm not letting you go."
"I love you too and I'm not letting you go either," she chuckled. "You can tell Lexa though I don't think I could take the 'I told you so' that I would get from her."
"Deal, but not yet I just want to stay here with you a while longer," he said stifling a yawn.
"Me too," she agreed closing her eyes, contented to be lying in the arms of the man she loved.