Why Danny and Paulina Should NOT Be Together

Fred: Weeeeee're baaaaack! And we still don't own Danny, and all things related or resembling the works of Poison Doughnut.

George: And Danny is still here, chained to a giant carrot! Which we DO own! Huzzah!

Danny: What about Sam? Is she still here?

George: Oooh, make a note of that! He's asking about her whereabouts! He cares!

Fred: Taken note of.

George: (turns to Danny) To answer your question, she is back in Amity Park.

Fred: (whistles) Oh yeah, about that…

George: (glares)

Fred: (snaps) Alright, she is NOW back at home in Amity Park. And no longer chained to another giant carrot.

Danny: Can you get on with it? I want to go home already!

Fred: (under breath) That's where he knows Sam is…

George: Fine. We'll do this quickly. Number 12—

Danny: Wait! What happened to 11?

George: The French narrator did that one, remember? Anyway, 12—She wants to be one of the mindless happy princesses without a mind or free will!

Danny: Isn't that what 'mindless' means?

Fred: Do we care?

Danny: Um, no?

George: Correct. Moving on again!

Fred: 13—Danny wears pink pajamas. He knows that pink matches Paulina's shirt, but he only wears it when they won't be seen together. He knows Sam hates pink, so he wears it only when she won't have to see. (thinks: Yet… ; P )

George: …You scare me. A lot.

Danny: What are you talking about, that was unprovoked.

George: No it wasn't. You mean you didn't hear it?

Danny: Hear what?

Fred: Nothing! (starts whistling in an 'innocent' fashion)

George: Fred…did I somehow borrow your…thought bubble?

Fred: Maaaaybeeeee…and don't you mean thought parentheses?

George: No…ok maybe yes…

Danny: Get on with it!

Fred: What are you, Monty Python?

Danny: Who?

G+F: GASP-eth! HOW COULD NOT KNOW—oh never mind.

Fred: Number 14 – Paulina is a horrible mother. Remember her 'sack of joy'?

Danny: (gives blank look) No.

George: It's official. He's hopeless.

Fred: Definitely. Though he's still hot.

Danny: Still creeped out by that…

Fred: Deal with it.

George: Anywaaaay…number 15—She only notices your existence AT ALL if you are, for some strange and inexplicable ghost-related reason, popular. Or a ghost.

Danny: Does not!

Fred: Taking the time to turn you down every time you stupidly ask her out does not constitute as noticing your existence.

Danny: Why not?!

George: Because. It doesn't.

Fred: I see that Sam notices him daily though…

Danny: Well, duh! She's like, my best friend!

Fred: You just keep tellin' yourself that, Clueless.

George: Ok, anywho: Number 16—She has a shrine to 'InvisoBill' in her locker. That is BEYOND creepy. You cannot date a stalker!

Danny: (mutters) Which thankfully seems to eliminate you

George: No, that's Fred.

Fred: What is?

G+D: Nothing.

Fred: Ok.

George: (slaps face) I cannot believe I am that moron's twin.

Fred: What was that?

George: Nothing.

Fred: OK.

George: Again…

Danny: Get on with it!

Fred: Chill, Monty!

Danny: I won't bother asking this time…

George: Good!

Fred: 17! Tucker wants you to go out with Sam, not Paulina.

Danny: Who cares? It's just so he can go out with her himself!

George: And MOSTLY because he wants you to go out with your real soul mate already!

Danny: Do you believe in all that soul mate junk?

George: Maaaaybe…

Fred: Yes…

George: (mutters) Which is why she is actually allowing Danny to not be with herself

Fred: Hey, I heard that! And I resent it!

Danny: Can I have some fudge? I ate all the cookies you gave me in the last chapter.

Fred: No! Never! Then you have to turn into your dad!

Danny: But I'll share it with you… (gives puppy pout Fred drools over)

George: Maybe. But then you need to promise to ask Sam out as soon as you get back.

Danny: (grumbling) Fine, I'll settle for some fries. Or more cookies…

Fred: Can we move on?

George: Sure. Number 18—We are psychic.

Danny: And that has to do with it…how?

Fred: Typical. We have seen the future through our amazing abilities. Someday, a Disasteroid will come hurtling towards Earth, and you will be forced to ask Sam out in your final hours. You will also finally give her "Valerie's" ring.

George: And yes, it is inevitable.

Danny: Are you, like, Clockwork in disguise or something?

G+F: No! Eeeww, he's a creepy old dude! And kid! And adult!

Fred: He's just plain creepy!

George: I know. At least we're creepy in an obsessive sort of fangirl way!

Danny: Can I have the next reason? It'll get me one step closer to a cookie.

George: Sure. That's definitely the reason… (Danny ignores obvious sarcasm)

Fred: coughcoughHEWANTSSAMcoughcough

Danny: Bless you.

George: Idiot. (smacks head)

Fred: Nineteen—Paulina is an airhead. She thinks she is soooo wonderful. As you admitted yourself, Sam is special and sticks out from the crowd because she's smart. Paulina leads the crowd, proving that she is a (censored) moron.

Danny: When did I admit that?

George: Duh! When Ember came and you were telling Sam why you thought she was unaffected. And I quote: "…individuality, or intelligence?"

Danny: How did you know that? And that impression was creepily accurate!

George: Thanks! I've been practicing! (mumbles) It's the only effective way of dragging Fred out of bed before noon…

Fred: (wakes up) He's here! (looks around) Eeeeek! He really is here!

Danny: When did you fall asleep?

Fred: I fell asleep?

George: See? … Also, she was probably dreaming about you so, this reality isn't really that different from her dream land. Except it probably has more chocolate.

Fred: And fudge. In my dream land, we eat endless fudge without looking like Jack.

Danny: I thought you didn't know you were asleep.

Fred: I was asleep?

Danny: (smacks forehead)

George: Okay, now that's just sad…

Fred: How did you smack yourself if all of your limbs and appendages are bound to the giant carrot?

George: Cuz, duh, he's a ghost-

Danny: Half ghost

George: -half ghost, so he can phase through it.

Fred: But we shorted out his powers! How did he not escape before?!

George: Because his powers are coming back now!

Danny: They are? See ya-

G+F: Get him!

(twins tackle halfa into the carrot, causing it to topple over and knock said halfa unconscious)

Fred: Well…I guess he's not gonna escape now…

George: And his powers will stay shorted for another three hours…

Fred: Wanna play a game till he wakes up?

George: Oooh, I'll go get Eric, Brandon, and the Truth or Dare bottle and some skittles!

Fred: Oh narrator!

Random (now known to be French) narrator: And so, tune in next time as Fred and George deviously continue to prove to Danny that Paulina is an evil mind-controlling spirit from another dimension. Oops, that was Sam's line…and another reason…dang.


George: We apologize endlessly for our inexcusable hiatus!

Fred: School is a (censored) and we could not escape.

George: But we graduated, so expect at least one more chapter this summer!

Fred: And review! I'll hunt you like Skulker if you don't review!

George: Though that's not much of a threat, all things considered...