52Author's note: *cowers behind a couch* Maaaah! Don't kill me! *cries!* I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know I haven't updated in the longest time, it's just that I had pretty much given up on this fic. I thought it was crap, but I'm finding myself getting so many reviews to continue! And admittedly Shadow Cat scared me into posting this, so thank her for this chapter. I'm going to change the plot from what I had originally because I lost my draft, but I'm still open to ideas. Hmm... So enjoy!
/this means thoughts/
***
Anger Management By Lilas
Sighing slowly, the boy closed the pen and picked the book up, placing it on top of his nightstand, his eyelids half shut as he lingered to take his hand away. Finally, with grace unknown to him, he released the notebook and stood up, his white shirt straightening itself as it flowed down his body with ease. Flattening his loose jeans with a swift motion, he grabbed his blue jacket and made his way to the door, grabbing the keys on the way out and locking the door.
As he stepped out the messy apartment and into the fresh morning air, he winced slightly at the sun rays before closing his eyes and standing still for a couple of seconds, enjoying the feel of the breeze on his hair and face. Shoving the keys in his pocket, he marched down the steps with a smile on his face, trying as best as he could to mask his inner turmoil.
First things first... He needed to eat breakfast. Maybe a bagel, or whatever they were called, at that new American place would do the trick. He saw Kurama eating one a couple of days ago, and it looked pretty good. It wouldn't kill him to try one anyway. With a slight shrug, he had decided on his breakfast, hoping he'd have enough money. He was about to step down the last step when he stopped in mid-track at the sight in front of him.
There stood Kuwabara, his eyebrow set into a frown as he glared at the tanned boy, now frozen in place, in front of him. Slowly stepping closer, he placed his hands on both railings, blocking Yusuke's exit. It didn't really matter since the boy in question was now immobile, remembering what Kurama had told him the day before.
/'Just my luck to run into him... Now I'll be questioned again and-'/
"Have you eaten breakfast yet?" a cheerful voice despite the previous frown asked, breaking his thoughts.
"Er... No... I was about to and-"
"Good. My treat, let's go," he cut him off, grabbing the shorter boy's hand and dragged him along towards the restaurants. "What do you want? Did you have anything in mind?"
"Well, I was gonna go try out some of those bagel things but-"
"Great! I've been dying to try them too. Kurama seems to like them a lot... That guy is always eating one," the taller boy cut him off again, not really caring either, while still dragging his friend through the streets by his wrist.
"Uh, Kuwabara...?" he started, hesitant. When the older boy glanced back at him, showing he had his attention, he smiled slightly and pointed at the wrist that was tightly grasped in the red head's grip. "I won't run away..."
Stopping in his tracks, the read head stared at the smaller boy behind him, his lips in a tight line and his eyes scrutinizing the other boy's face. Slowly he eased his death grip on the hand and allowed it to be dropped next to the body it belonged to. He watched as a goofy grin crossed the black haired in front of him, but did not return the gesture, keeping his face serious and slightly angered.
"What's wrong? Yukina dumped you?" the tanned boy asked, a joking tone in his voice.
"Please tell me what's been bugging you Yusuke..." the boy pleaded, his voice soft and low.
Stepping back as if his best friend had suddenly slapped him, the boy's mouth gapped open in surprise at the question while his eyes bulged out. Having allowed the slight fall of his wall, the boy silently scolded himself and violently shook his head.
"Nothing's wrong with me. What makes you think that?" he asked faking astonishment.
"Are you depressed?" came the quick and simple reply.
"W-what?!" the shorter boy shouted, this time genially taken aback.
"You don't get into brawls or play video games anymore. And I heard the teachers saying you're doing badly in class. What's wrong?" the red head continued, taking a step forward towards his friend.
"Nothing's wrong with me! I don't know where you got the idea that-"
"Goddamn Yusuke! Just tell me already! It kills me to have to watch you fall apart because you won't reach out! I'm here for you so talk to me!" the boy shouted, placing both hands on the smaller youth's shoulders and shaking him slightly for emphasis.
/'Reach out. He's taking the first step for me. Maybe I could.'/
"Stop it!" the black haired youth yelled breaking free of his friend's vise grip on him. "I don't want to tell you! I don't wanna burden you with my problems! You already have enough problems to deal with without me yapping my heart out to you!" he continued angrily, making his way past his friend.
A sudden pressure on his neck from the front of his shirt collar made him stumble back to his original spot in front of Kuwabara, but before he could react a sharp pain in his abdomen caused him to double over and fall to his knees onto the pavement. Squinting at the morning sun, the boy gazed upwards to come face to face with his friend's death glare. The latter slowly bent down and grabbed his collar, hauling him up to his feet to face him.
"I refuse to explain this slowly to you because I think you're smart enough to understand it. I am your friend Yusuke. I have helped you through everything since you died and I am not about to stop! Now you're going to either willingly tell me what's eating you up or I'll beat it out of you!"
"Force is usually considered a bad idea on depressed people." the boy commented, sarcasm dripping on his voice.
"Well, you said you weren't depressed so now spill it," his friend replied back, venom haunting every syllable.
Lowering his head so it touched his chest, the boy sighed dramatically and allowed his weight to be carried into the red head's hands. He had two options, shut up and get beaten up by his friend or spill everything out into the open. Neither were good choices. He wanted to stick to his original plan and keep to his journal, but he also knew that if he kept everything to himself, he'd do something incredibly dumb. Like grab that shiny razor off the counter of his bathroom and bring it up to his wrist and-
"Well?" the low and threatening voice of his friend once again broke his thoughts, impeding him to continue them any further then what they had gone.
Deep inside him, the youth felt his walls explode and in a swift movement he punched the boy's face and threw him onto the ground, following him and straddling him to the ground under him. Without hesitation, he threw a curtain of punches down towards his friend, but in his fury, he didn't care that none of them reached their goal. All he wanted was to let out the built up anger in him, and Kuwabara had given him the perfect punching bag.
The fury inside him didn't last long, and soon enough he stopped his fists and dropped them to his sides, slumping his shoulders in exhaustion as he sat down next to the boy, his legs to his chest and his forehead on his knees. He flinched slightly as he felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder, and as hard as he tried, he couldn't hold back the flow of the tears that slipped past his closed eyelids.
"Yusuke. Please." the soft voice coaxed him as the hand on his shoulder moved to his back and made small, comforting circles.
"I. I don't. Damn it Kuwabara! It's all falling apart!" he yelled into his knees, the tears never ceasing.
"Tell me Yusuke. I swear I won't tell anyone, not even Kurama or Hiei. Just, please, don't keep it all bottled in." the red head pleaded, encircling his arms around the smaller boy, never ceasing the motion of his hand on the boy's back.
"I. I want." he started, his eyes closed and his head in the groove of his friend's shoulder. "I want all this to stop. I want things to be like they were before I met Kurama! Before everything." he mumbled softly, a sob breaking past his lips and shaking his body.
"Yusuke, what's wrong? Did Kurama do something? Please, tell me. I'll break his fucking neck if he-"
"Dammit Kuwabara! I'm in love with him!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, his fists clenching on a piece of Kuwabara's yellow jacket.
Pure and agonizing silence followed the unexpected confession and the tanned boy cursed himself for ever having thought that Kuwabara would understand him, would accept his feelings towards his best friend. What had he done? Now Kuwabara probably hated him and would probably start treating him like a freak!
"Does. Kurama know?" the surprised voice asked softly.
"N-no." he replied as softly. Suddenly, he pushed himself away and fiercely dried his tears and looked at his friend quickly before turning his gaze to the ground. "Look, I'm sorry for everything and I understand if you think I'm a freak or something and if you don't wanna be my friend anymore. After all, that's how people are nowadays. And I'm really sorry for ruining everything that we built and-"
"What the fuck are you talking about Urameshi?!" the red head yelled as he abruptly stood up. The boy in front of him winced slightly at the tone of voice and shut his eyes tightly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. But you're getting the wrong signals here! First of all, you're not a freak. Well, if you take aside the fact that you're a reincarnated half youkai detective for the Spirit World and that your father was the king of Makai and that you also are one of the most powerful beings alive. You're not a freak."
A soft chuckle escaped the black haired boy's closed lips and his frightened stature disappeared as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at his friend's gentle eyes. Slowly raising his hands so the boy could see where they were heading, the red head placed them once more on the smaller boy's shoulders.
"Second of all, I'll always be your friend. I'll always be one of your best friends and you can always count on me. And I will keep my promise. I won't tell Kurama anything if you come talk to me when you've got a problem."
"Domo arigatou, Kuwabara." the boy murmured, small droplets of tears making their way down his cheeks.
"Anything else you need?" the other youth asked, applying a slight pressure on his friend's shoulders.
"Any ideas where I could get a part time job? Okassan hasn't been home for over a week and I'm running low on money." the youth whispered, a slight blush of embarrassment tinting his cheeks.
"A week? She didn't write or call. Or anything?" A quick shake of the head answered the boy's questions and he sighed softly. "I'm sure she's fine."
"I don't know Kuwabara. She gets so carried away when she's alone, I'm afraid she could have done something to herself." he mumbled softly, his gaze once more on the pavement.
"Someone would have called. You should have more faith in your mother. After all, she does in you," the boy replied, patting his friend's back and pushing him forward. "Now, let's go get breakfast and then go look for a job you could do!"
"You'll. help me?" the black haired asked astonished, turning his head sideways trying to look at his friend.
"Of course! Didn't I tell you I was gonna help you through this?" he replied matter of fact.
"Well. Those weren't really your words, but I guess that's what you meant."
"Urameshi. You're gonna end up killing me with your bad jokes one of these days."
"I'll take that as a compliment," the boy replied, breaking loose of the grip on his shoulder and running ahead, a smile spread on his face.
"Yusuke you bastard!" the red head shouted, starting after his runaway friend down the streets.